#especially because i genuinely think she's better than that chasing after unavailable guys/guys who are far too old for her

[catoscloves]

so i googled rachel gatina's fate and.. fuck that? my girl deserves so much more

[understandingthevoices]

~ wrote a thing about identifying narcissistic abuse in the brown girl group i’m a part of since so many brown boys are narcs lmao and it was so well-received that I thought i would share here too ~ 

Recently a few people asked me how I became aware of my ex's personality disorder and how I started my healing process w/o a therapist (though if I had seen someone, perhaps this would have been faster)...

It's a LONG one but hopefully informative!!

So we had been on and off for years since college - with me realizing flaws he had and him making it up to me until the next one hit and so on and so forth (and I thought, yay! change! this can work***) - but then it came to a point where I told him enough was enough and we deserved to find people who made us happy and maybe we could revisit "us" in the future. But he cried and told me he couldn't lose me and wanted to actually try the "love" thing out... So, I allowed myself to believe he was for real -- and (somewhat) let down my emotional guards that I had held for self-preservation. Things seemed to be going okay - we would send each other hearts, talk about our future house, kids, etc and everything was fine and dandy, and I thought I was "happy" or "happy enough" - after all, I had the guy right? What more could I want?

But then, let me take you to a Friday afternoon at Trader Joes's, where I was grabbing my groceries and suddenly noticed something: along with her groceries, every woman was walking out with flowers, which I imagined was because of a scheduled date night. it seems so silly now, but at that moment, I broke down into tears because I realized I wanted that too - and if I continued in my old patterns only because it (he) was familiar and all I had known, I would never get that.

He would tell me about our beautiful future life together but wouldn't even take a 4 hour train to visit me.

Basically, He could talk a big talk, he could weave stories about anything to make me believe in us (and he was a MASTER storyteller and had a vivid imagination), but he couldn't walk the walk. Or rather, he didn't care to walk the walk. And if I brought these things up, he would belittle me or say he was busy, essentially reframing my needs as unimportant and not worthy of consideration. But then he would cover it up by saying our kids would be beautiful and smart, he would leave NYC to be in Boston for me, etc - and it was so easy to get sucked in, so tempting to believe this was only temporary.....

But then I would have insomniac nights, where I was filled with anxiety/sadness because I knew I wasn't happy - and the breakdown in Trader Joe's confirmed that

And he had already conditioned me into understanding that if I talked to him about these feelings, he would invalidate, ignore, and eventually bring them up later as ammunition (a favorite of his was “did you forget, we’re not a couple”, which was so hurtful and confusing af lmao)

Up until that point, I had maintained he was just "emotionally unavailable" or "commitmentphobic" and if he saw I wasn't going to nag him or push him into marriage, etc - he would realize it wasn't so scary and we could finally build a life together! It felt like we were moving in that direction, finally. But then every so often, I would have moments where the reality became a little too clear and there was little I could do to stop myself from breaking down.

And it was at my wit's end during these nights that I googled things like "why is he so emotionally distant" and stumbled upon a trove of gold Quora questions/answers - and once I discovered Quora, I went HAM.

Questions like...

"why does he try to make me jealous"

"why does he get mad when he sees me with other guys"

"why won't he commit"

"why won't he let me meet his friends"

"why does he not let me go" / "why does he keep holding on to me"

"why does he say he cares but not visit"

... And throughout all of this searching, one of the answers inevitably mentioned emotional abuse (and often narcissistic abuse) - and while I didn't initially think my situation was abusive, because it seemed like such a strong term, I was so desperate for answers and it came up so often that I said fcuk it, let's see what this is about.

So I googled "emotional abuse" and "narcissistic abuse" and read the stories of survivors, many of which echoed mine. I was shocked that these people had dated what seemed to be clones of my own ex. Many of them mentioned kids/divorce/etc and how they wish they had realized the signs sooner instead of wasting so many years with an emotional vampire, who would initially seem like your soulmate, ingratiate himself to you, praise you and put you on a pedestal, only to suck the life out of you through devaluing mechanisms and never listening to your needs, and discard you later (or stay until you stop giving them chances) - and then play the same game with the next victim, leaving a trail of broken people. They posted about the fake personalities, the emotional highs and lows, how he would leave and come back months/years later as if nothing had changed, etc - and things finally started making sense.

I had noticed many of these things - but without the awareness of narcissism - didn't know what to make of it. For example, when we were on our off-periods and he was out chasing Muslim girls, he (someone I had known as a frat fcukboy who would crush 20 beers in a night) became the sober, praying virtue-driven man. When he was out chasing someone else, he pretended to love Rupi Kaur poetry - even though we made fun of it together (no offense). I often felt like he seemed so ~different~ during these periods - and would call him out on it, but he would always deny it. But, looking back, I realize it wasn't just in my head as he wanted me to believe.

Luckily for me, he had grown to like one of these girls and we decided to take a break (later, I would realize he was trying to 'triangulate' me with her, but even back then I wouldn't succumb to his dumb games) -- which gave me much needed time to continue my Quora obsessiveness... and I went down the rabbit hole. Quora led me to narcissistic abuse recovery youtube channels and instagram accounts - which further opened my eyes to the lies I had been fed. It was heartbreaking but I began to realize his version of "love" (if you can even call his self-serving love that) was so different from mine - for him, it was latching onto someone who would validate him, give him the emotional supply he needed, and be there at his beck and call -- which I was happy to do if it was reciprocal, but of course it wasn't lol. It was completely one-sided and I let it happen because for me, the love I felt was genuine - not fabricated - and I thought that's what you do when you're in love (and it's what I saw growing up in my parent's relationship). I didn't want to believe it but the answer was clear as day - I had been conned into a fake relationship by someone who didn't have the capacity to love someone, and could only use them.

At this point, I realized ~5 years of on-and-off narcissistic abuse (and more than 2 decades of observing my parents' toxic marriage) would take a long time for me to heal from, but if I wanted to have any chance at a truly happy, healthy relationship (which I so earnestly did), I had to let him go. So I dived headfirst - watched at least 1-2 hours worth of videos every day, cried about the disrespect I had put up with, wrote pages and pages of text, etc - and became entrenched in this mode of self-improvement and inner child-finding. And I put them on my tumblr, so he would see them (I knew he was still checking up on me).

So when he inevitably came back because the girl he was chasing "was not who I thought she was" and wanted to be with me because I was so "perfect, knew him better than he knew himself, and so smart", I had the emotional wherewithal to tell him I didn't want this anymore -- and the little bits of changes he would make to attempt to gratify me - I could see through them and they were no longer enough. I think it was a last ditch attempt on his side - my tumblr posts made it obvious I was leveling up and wanted nothing more to do with him.

He was upset and told me he was talking to this girl on a dating app - but she was boring and a downgrade from me - and I just said, "cool". He then told me if I didn't want to try again, he would have no choice but to date her and see where it goes. And at that point, I just wanted him to leave me alone, as I knew anything with him would be a dead end. And I was TIRED. So to his surprise, I said go for it - and blocked him from everything and everywhere. I felt an immediate sense of relief, as I knew the nightmare was finally over and he was someone else's problem now. Of course, just like anyone else, I have my ups and downs too - but I'm definitely much better off.

Now? I haven't heard from him in over 2 years. I don't think I will - I told our mutual friends all about his deceit, post about it on my twitter, and make sure everyone knows how phony he is - and I think he realizes the ruse is over. I have found him out, and he knows he should stay away unless he wants me to expose him even more. I can hit him where it hurts and he is terrified - exactly where I like boys to be ;)

Anyways, last I heard, he's engaged to that girl he said was a downgrade (which isn't that surprising - since I gave him a narcissistic injury by leaving he knew he had to lock down the next one or she would leave too) - which is quite sad. I pray she sees the light before he takes too much away from her.

Hope it clears up things -- as always, feel free to PM me. More than happy to help anyone, especially if it means saving one of you from a toxic monster <3

***This is one of the subtle points that makes narcissists so difficult to identify: usually, when someone changes for you, it's because they like you and don't want to hurt you - compromise! that's what you do when you're in love, right? However, for a narcissist, it's not "love" - it's him realizing that if he wants to keep you trapped in his web of deceit, he needs to change - and this is true for both the beginning of the relationships and the whole duration. They don't have any integrity so they will change into whoever you want them to be, if it means you'll be attracted to them -- they are so good at reading you, figuring you out, and identifying your deepest desires/wants that they can transform into your idea of a perfect partner -- and they DO, but it's only a set up to manipulate you later. It's addicting to meet who you easily consider your "soulmate"... but in the end, you realize it was too good to be true.

[repwinpril9y0a1]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[porchenclose10019]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[chpatdoorsl3z0a1]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[stormdoors78476]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[grgedoors02142]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

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6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[exfrenchdorsl4p0a1]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[pat78701]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[repwincoml4a0a5]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[rtawngs20815]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[porchenclose10019]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[repwincostl4m0a2]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[chpatdoorsl3z0a1]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8

[grgedoors02142]

6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best

iStock/m-imagephotography

After bad relationships made finding love seem elusive, tragedy brought us together and showed me what it means to be with a good guy.

Earlier this month Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral. Ten days later, on March 13, 2017, she died. In the short window of time preceding her death, the public learned intimate details about Rosenthal and her husband, Jason, for she did something many of us may not be willing or able to do–pen a dating profile for the love of her life.

With so much negativity surrounding men recently, her piece made me stop and reflect on my own love life. A journey that has been intoxicating at its best, and abusive at its worst. To reflect on the failed relationships I’ve had, and how incredibly grateful I am for the man I’m with now. Our union is far from perfect, so if you sense that from my writing, please don’t misunderstand my intentions. However, in the wake of all the bad, I do want to take a moment and share what it’s been like to be with someone who I consider to be a genuinely good guy.

Ironically, it was tragedy that brought Josh and I together. Our 21-year-old half-brother, Chase, was in a fatal car accident in September of 2014. I say “our” because he was a sibling to us both, although Josh and I are not biologically related, we were step-siblings at one time. A complicated story for another day, I’ll spare you the details.

Anyway, it was at the hospital where I met Josh for the first time, and then again at the funeral, and once more at the reception. It’s difficult to describe, but there was an instant spark, like an undeniable energy that drew me in. I wanted to know him, although at the time I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the intense grief, my overwhelming emotions, or some morbid act of fate.

Like the niceties that often take place during a tragedy, we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him at the first opportunity. Text messages and phone calls ensued. Throughout this period, his intellect, charm, and attentiveness wooed, but it’s what I discovered on a deeper level that’s kept me hanging on.

iStock/courtneyk  1. He gets me

This man is so attuned to me, that I swear there are times when he can read my mind. He doesn’t treat this as a byproduct of a long relationship, either. Instead, he treats it as a privilege. Because of this, we grow closer everyday. He has come to understand my nuances so well and answers my needs so completely that it sometimes feels like our lives are choreographed.

2. He enjoys communicating

Thanks to a string of abusive relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I took it upon myself to become absolutely terrible at opening up. Guarded and closed off are two ways you could describe my communication style. His, on the other hand, are anything but. He loves listening to me talk and wants to know everything about me. So when I found it difficult to share my feelings and get to that vulnerable place, he waited patiently for me to come around.

3. He makes me a priority

I’m his number one, and I feel like it, too. Every decision he makes is done with my happiness in mind. The little things he does during our everyday, like making me coffee in the morning and massaging my feet at night, are sweet reminders that he’s constantly thinking of me.

4. He’s honest

Rather than embellish the truth, or act secretive or sneaky, he always puts everything out in the open. His honesty is so forthright, that although my insecurities sometimes get the better of me, I wholeheartedly believe that I can trust him–something I don’t know that I’ve ever truly felt.

5. He supports me

I could tell this man that I want to have a unicorn farm, and he would find a way to make it happen. From childcare and housework, to helping me chase my dreams, his support makes me feel like nothing is impossible.

6. He doesn’t give up

He’s here to stay. In it for the long haul. Committed. This is something that frightened me initially, especially considering I’ve been in other long-term relationships where men flat out refused to get married or have children, and being the young, impressionable person I was, began to believe that those things just weren’t in the cards for me. He, on the other hand, has shown me what it means to be completely devoted to another person. And I have to admit, it feels pretty damn amazing.

Related on EcoSalon

Cohabitation Survival Guide: 5 Habits For Healthy Relationships 6 Date Night Ideas for Bonding While Reducing Your Carbon Footprint 4 Tips for Releasing Toxic Relationships, Being Honest and Letting Go

The post 6 Reasons Being With a Good Guy is the Best appeared first on EcoSalon.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n84sw8