#especially becuz the ed that i projected onto childe is just me being autistic

[jatlokgwo]

(not tryin to discourse am just upset-rambling to myself but is fine to reblog this as whatever if you want)

a few days ago someone that was into hunger/feeding stuff (kink-not-kink) interacted with me they had a cool blog and i saw alot of 🤝 with the stuff that they liked and both of my eds so i sent them a projecty headcanon i have that childe has the same kind of eds and that he have tried to match how much zhongli ate to be polite without realizing that zhongli is a dragon and eventually li notices and helps him

a few hours later i got a dm explaining that my headcanon is cute but tgey wouldnt post my ask becuz it was ed-related and theg didnt want to fetishize eds (my hc is about childe having arfid/problems with texture and the weight of food i reworded itn to be more like the fanfic and prompts on that persons blog the only ed mention was a crossed out joke that i about about myself projecting)

witch is fine!!!! its there blog they dont have to post anything and they where really nice am trying to rewright it to be "without the ed" for them!!!

the thing that am upset about is that alot of stuff on there blog was litteraly eating disorder stuff but eithout warnings the community was fine with charaters fasting randomly for 2 days or being way to hungry for just forgetting lunch or stuff like that but when i try to go like !!!🤝!!! hi!!! heres a headcanon i have thats like this stuff!!!! :D i am treated like i dropped a live grenade for mentioning that the hc came from my mental health stuff instead of kink/kink but not in a kinky way

witch. :|

i get alot of comfort from reading stuff about my problems it would be nice to have more things to read and to know that the author isnt dying or suffering as they type and if the tummy stuff hunger/feeding community was more ok with themselves overlaping then things could be tagged properly for the people that dont want to see ed behaviour instead of ed-stuff-but-we-swear-its-normal-and-healthy-not-an-ed witch. um. SEEMS BAD?? we could have symbiosis

(and fetishizing is not a inherently bad thing especially wirh the logic that there using i am constantly being sexual and kinky-but-the-evilbad-word by existing and being mentally ill and relating especially to things as long as your not being toxic to real people its fine you want the syntoms but its against the rules to wonder how the syntoms got there)