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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years

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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years

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Episode 3- “Y'all wanted magic within and we delivered- case closed”-Autumn

Another super fun challenge! I want to shout out to the hosts for just doing a great job so far. This is making this quarantine just a little less terrible. So happy we have immunity and getting our first reward is so exciting! I’ve been trying my best to connect with members outside of my tribe in the great hall chat and get close with my tribe mates. For the most part I really trust all of them. And that’s horribly scary. I really love being on hufflepuff. But I have a feeling a swap is gonna happen. Kevin told me he thinks it’s going to be 2 tribes of 8. We will see. GL to slytherin and ravenclaw!

HOES MAD

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I'm so dead and drained rn but I look forward to reading this round and seeing how heated people are over this. And this will definitely follow me the entire game but you know what I'm glad. Don't let the 16 month hiatus fool you: when I show up I show out. Everything is mind over matter in a way and y'all caught me on a good day so I was just like fuck it I'll do this all day if I have to. So I walked into that challenge at 11:30 am and deadass my phone never left my side... for 9 1/2 hours. Also y'all know I'm at my best when I'm an underdog? So of course I went all out, please tell me you didn't expect anything less. And can I just say Gryffindor legitimately and collectively earned that because everyone participated and put points up. So yes I am that girl but I do it for the squad because I know they'll do it for me. BIG ups though to Vi and Jess- I don't care what their alliances were before today they better have each other's backs and I'll riot if they don't both survive. Literally do the right thing and send a man home. And the same goes for Ravenclaw! I wanna know what's going on over there and I'm not picky but send a man or inactive home if you can. Let it be known that I literally came into this game to raise hell for Dan and Owen lmaaaaooo. I mean I don't want them to go (yet) because that's not what good frenemies do and where's the fun in that. We make each other's arcs better and if we're cast, there will be a fight to the death sooner or later. But until then! Yes I am absolutely living for them sweating it out for a full round. Can y'all believe it? They finally lost at something God is so good. Would've loved to make Hufflepuff sweat too but hey. There's always next round

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14 minutes later

Also I just wanna say that 6:00 hour was chef's kiss. In my entire org career, I have never been on a tribe that pulled off a shutout like that and that was ICONIC. Hoes mad but did your entire tribe come together and get a streak of points nonstop for upwards of an hour?? No ma'am you did not. I kept us alive all day but that hour was THE hour that took Gryffindor from 4th to 2nd and that's how you win immunity. Y'all wanted magic within and we delivered- case closed

I don't trust Nick at all. I know in the back of his mind he's thinking i'm gonna play like our previous game which I wasn't exactly loyal to him because I was loyal to some bitch ass alliance that ended up... ANYWAYS. So he seems like the type of player to keep that into consideration because he happened recently and he's sort of a newer player. So I have to be mindful of this all and as much as i'm STRESSING the fact that obviously there were external factors in that game.. that won't impact this game kind of a deal. I know this all could just be my paranoid little brain and thinking that he's out to get me when he's not.. but I haven't played any back to back games in FOREVER and when something THAT FRESH happens.. it's hard for me to not have the after thought of: Wow Nick must think i'm an loyal person who won't tell him my real thoughts.

But Nick gonna be a scary player down the line. He's already in my pm's bragging about how him, Landen, and I think his name is Matt? idk one of the "Weebz" (still don't know what that means) and how he will have those potential relationships moving forward.. I just... don't.... understand..... him. ANYWAYS

The thing is... I think? I can trust Jacob fully. I think this vote SHOULD BE EASY.. but I can't help but feel really fucking bad. Like terrible. Like extremely heart broken about voting out VI. She's put her all into everything and honestly I would be so mad if i've given my all and these two dweebz didn't even show up to the comp. I know she's gonna be upset and I hate knowing that. So i'm TRYING to take emotions out of this decision and make this all strategical and within the game environment because if I was voting with my HEART i'd keep her. BUT then I have that voice in the back of my head that is saying "But if you save Vi.... she'll be loyal to you!" BUT ALSO... I know from HOSTING VI... is that Vi is only loyal to... the fun she has. If she gets bored she fucks around. She's a crackhead. But I obviously can't VOICE THIS TO ANYONE because they could flip this and reverse this on ME.

I'm scared that if I cast any form of doubt about the vote to Jacob he will relay the message to Nick and well I become more threatening than Vi at this point because I pointed the gun at him... SO I was fucking around with the idea of... using my idol on myself, causing a 2 to 2 tie.. and well.. unless Jacob wants to go to rocks by himself... and basically get voted out.. Mr. Nick goes. But it's LITERALLY FINAL 18............ If this was final 11, sure i'd do this in a heart beat... but this is such a bad bitch move i'm scared people will see I got something on my resumé already. They'll see I went against an alliance for VI. It's just so risky.. but I told myself i'd have FUN in this game.. I just don't want to make a move purely on a past game or purely on emotion. I want to be making moves that move me forward in the game..

I LOVE JOANNA!!! THIS IS A JOANNA APPRECIATION POST!!!!!! and dan has the idol.

Unsurprisingly, we lost the challenge. I worked my lil booty off as best as I could (I did give up but that is beside the point at this current moment) and I have been friendly, fricking nice as all hell, and then Miguel wants to vote me out. And honey... I think that sealed your fate. I am working on being a little more ruthless I guess because I really want to win this game, so if you come for me, you bet I'm coming for you. I've always made jury and I don't think that this is the season I'm getting stuck with pre-jury. Miguel is the only relationship I don't feel confident in so... bye sis.

The immunity challenge was a hard-fought battle, but we managed to pull out a win near the end. It was the most stressful time of my life. Honestly, I felt that if we lost then I would get voted out next. Thankfully, that did not happen. However, this is a huge wake up call for me to get my ass into gear and start being more social with my tribe. Otherwise, I might find myself in the bottom and that is not a position I want to be in.

AHHHH so my tribe won immunity and reward and things are great! Someone mentioned yesterday (Kevin?? Maybe) that this means we are the last tribe to have to see tribal council and that is a GREAT THING! I really wonder who is going to go home- I just hope it isn't Owen. I also really hope he still wants to work with me if we end up on a tribe together. In other news, I'm curious to see if a swap is about to happen. With a double tribal happening tonight it seems as though it would be a big maybe! Also I'm still irritated that my glee shirt didn't count as a band tee, when everyone asks what kind of music I like the first thing I always say is 'anything by the cast of glee' xD I don't feel like I was much help in the challenge but I was there and got points for wine and sequins if that means anything.

doing this ON TIME.. anyways chile. WOO WE DID IT! finally not coming in last hehe. god the amount of i was just frantically running around my house.. well thank god my family didn’t question it for the most part hehe. overall this challenge was super duper fun and i’m HOPING we can continue to win some because the stress of my tribe wanting to go against me.. yea it’s there. hopefully my paranoia is just that and i have nothing to worry abt ✨

Hey all you cool cats and kittens! It’s Dan, not Carole Baskin, but with the same crackhead energy. So Miss Miguel should be leaving tonight! It’s not anything personal at all. He’s a really sweet guy, but he’s just not around. I work mad hours a week and still make time for this stuff. Joanna is worried because she knows her name is going around so as long as she doesn’t try to pull something, everything is good. I think the chances of that happening are slim to none honestly. I feel like had I been able to compete in the comp I could have helped way more than others. I have a ton of random shit in my apartment that was asked for!!! I was a little shady toward Jacob in the Great Hall chat so lettuce pray that he doesn’t act like a petty fool if we swap together. I am kinda anticipating a swap after this tribal but we’ll see!!!

we won immunity and nothing has changed on my tribe for me since my last confessional woo consistency yay c:

im sad. we have to vote out vi which is so sad. i love her shes so sweet but i have suhc a tight bond with jess and nick that like there isnt another option. but ugh someone hold my hand

Darn, we were so close to winning, yet so far. Always remember, the unintentional matsing is just as mighty as the intentional, so 3 of us making swap or merge is much more advantageous than a unit of 4. I love my tribe, I do, and I genuinely feel I may be in danger! I trust Jess and Jacob though (JJJ: Jess, Jacob, Jay), so I’m hoping for another unanimous decision. (I will probably be asleep at tribal since I have 1 hour of sleep today)

So out tribe basically gave everything they could in a 12 hour challenge of Hell. I tried especially hard thinking I would be voted out if we lost because no one really talks "game" with me. I know that side seasons are 'Survivor Lite' but typically people at least talk game. I know I wasnt the target from last vote because everyone assured me they want to work with me and Josh said to vote him out in the tribe chat. Apparently though Josh wanted to do a blindside and reached out to Autumn to let her know asking me if he had asked me. So honestly Autumn is the truest! The other two notnvoting me inlobe seeing but if Josh talked to them then... hm Anyway I cant play a perfect game anymore :( Also I have officially dug through all of Hagrids things and he has no idol for me. I thought he might have something in could take and use somewhere else since he is a keeper of keys. But naw.

Guess who lost by two points!! Fricking Nicholas and Jacob leaving us for 7 hours. Then nick only showed up for the last 3ish but he didn’t even submit anything. Wth? We’re gonna try to kick him out.

i love my tribe so much we keep having more and more fun each time :D i definitely think after max's april fools prank i'm even more inclined to want to vote him if we lose, but i'm also grateful he's not really gone because mayhaps a weeb alliance in the future is possible.... !!! i also always utilize the great hall segments to make myself known and thought about even if people also think i'm a bit annoying, idc, the main thing is they remember me and when we meet on a swap or something i am one of the first they choose to talk to! it is always an important strategy of mine, people don't realize that in big games, one of the most crucial things you can do is leave a big first impression on people on the other tribes, you have the lucky opportunity to get some spaces where you meet them in ORGs unlike in the real world - USE it to let them form an idea of you in their head and decide they like you before they even meet you, it's a weird phenomena but i've found it's one of my most consistent strategies, when i actually decide to employ it (flashback to me being so lazy in 2020 i barely even used one world.. eep) hufflepuff is cute and we WILL be continuing to make marshmallow moves, until i get to make my own independent marshmallow moves to win

Soooo we finally lost a challenge kfjahsdj time to put this alliance to the test! The answer seemed pretty clear to me though - everyone kinda just wants to do Miguel. I feel bad, because I do think these competitions have NOT played to his strengths at all and I know he can be a great competitor. And I really wanted to get to know him again this time around. For a second, Dan and I considered saving him as a loyal number... but I just can't do that to Joanna, who has rlly busted her ass lately. So tonight it's a harder choice than it seems, but ultimately, I'm going with Miguel, and I told him that. I really wish he would've put more effort into our conversations before he was in trouble lmao. Also, DAN FOUND THE IDOL HEHEHEEH so that's great :) Glad to know he trusted me enough to tell me about it! I think he's probably going to be pretty loyal this time to me? And I feel like I have to give that same courtesy back to him. Someone will probably take one of us out eventually. I rlllly do not want to stress. If for some reason they blindside me tonight or Miguel has another idol or something, it has been fun <3

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Episode 8 | ”Being a muppet is a contagious disease. ” - Ali

omg so?! i need to do a proper long confessional and go through my thoughts because i just got like a tsunami of information but... jake lived?! and idoled out scott who i thought was gonna win?! hello?!? i'm so so so excited because now i get to work with jake and he is SUCH a shield, and me/him/autumn are gonna ride off into the sunset im manifesting it.

what the HELL is going on here first jake pulls out an idol (which i was JUST gossipping with jordan pines about him having it because i know just how he plays and would ya look at that!) i was so ELATED to read he did that, thinking ok, i gave him a fair warning those false beauties we're gonna get us all, and they voted him unanimously so surely he'll take one of them out and ... HE TAKES OUT SCOTT?? i dont even have time to process this bafoonery yet because here i am, minding my business, trying to watch micronesia to heal the hole in my heart left by w*nners at w*r, eating a piece of pizza and then BOOM we merge?? but oh ok! they said we get a nice little break, lemme not stress and go back to eating my piz- NOPE THERE IS SO SUCH THING AS A BREAK IN SURVIVOR GORL I SWEAR I PUT MY PHONE DOWN TO GET ONE BITE, I COULDNT EVEN ENJOY MY EXTRA CHEESE BECAUSE MY TELEPHONE IS BLOWING UPPPP people are spilling tea left and right, i probably dont even have time to write this so i gotta keep it short and sweet; the false beautys are really trying to slide in my pms and sing kumbaya and if they wanna sing with me, bring it on because they are not a songstress like i am, ill riff run and harmonize yall right off this island. PERIOD. ive been REALLY trying to play up this card where im just some dumb bitch, let everyone keep thinking im the mayor of boo boo the foolsville, but i know a lot more than i let on so catch the tea on that

i swear for it being our "day off" this sure has been the most work i feel like ive had in a hot minute first of all fuck the tomb but FUCK this pyramid even more the second it was announced i found the extra link to the slide puzzle on the blog within SECONDS but 1) i suck at slide puzzles and 2) MY COMPUTER CRASHED HALF WAY THROUGH IT SO I HAD TO START AGAIN. literally took me 2 hours to finish, so that was embarrassing, then much like how the tomb had questions, this pyramid has a hashi puzzle to solve in EIGHT MINUTES....which i dont even know what the fuck that is sorry to this hashi man i gave a good effort but didnt get it in time, so im gonna try again tomorrow of course but im sure someone who isnt a dumbass had better luck than me and got it so thats that on that ....also gorl some of these people aka kendall really got the audacity, she messages me today and is like IS JAKEY COMING TO YOU SAYING STUFF ABOUT ME TRYING TO PIT US AGAINST EACH OTHER oh gorl, if only you knew its ME going to jakey saying shit about YOU trying to get him against YOU, because your first mistake was trying to prepare an alliance to vote me out, your second mistake was running around telling everyone i have an idol, and your third mistake was making an enemy of jakey, now there's this angry jakey on the loose and im gonna just try to work my magic to tame him and keep him like a pet dragon on my side to get them out and then deal with whether i think ill be able to trust him going foward, but again, i know i voted him out last game so i cant rule out him trying to target me already, especially if somehow worst case scenerio people try to pick us off first for knowing each other also had a call with augusto which was.... interesting, look, i genuinely like him as a person even though i still feel some type of way about him turning fake on me, so i definitely want to maintain a friendship with him even if it's hard for me to just stomach talking to him because of how stupid he must think i am, keep your friends close but your frenemys closer!! then i just had a call with devon too which was also interesting because, i do like him as a person, but idk how to feel about it!!! after all of them lying to me in the beginning im already feeling PTSD and dont know if i can trust anyone, but he gave me some valuable information even more so just reaffirming them all thinking i have the idol which i know is a crock of bs because DAMMIT IVE TRIED I JUST DONT HAVE IT. I know amir has it, it's so obvious to me, maybe augusto?? but i think amir. apparently devon also just kinda said he think he could see the first vote coming down to me or jakey or even him which.......makes me really nervous, i wasnt planning on fighting for immunity at the auction i wouldve rather had an advantage of some sort, but i think with this cast, and the amount of intertwined relationships going into this first tribal, i want that immunity necklace and im gonna do my damndest to get it OKAYYY this game is going to drive me insane, i feel like ive been running my mouth TOO much and talking to too many people and am gonna get voted out for it but i also simultaneously feel like i havent talked to people no where near enough and, am gonna be voted out for it so ???buckle the fuck up ladies we've officially boarded the confusion express so im just gonna try and sit back and enjoy the ride ig

Welp we are on the bottom... shit. I'm going to be honest, this week has not been great for me. Like my real life is slowly going to shit and now my fake life has been screwed. Thanks Jakey... you dick. All is not lost, because out there in the distance is the iconic duo of Jordan Pines and Kendall Duffy AKA Sarah and Woo. You know, Sarah and Woo. That iconic duo in Cagayan. Remember that one time Sarah walked up to Woo and said "Sup I'm Sarah," and he nodded and said "Woo". And that other time they were sitting on the same log laughing at something Tony said? That is stuff of legends man. Okay so genuinely Jordan meant to say Tony and Woo but he accidentally said Sarah and Woo and now this is our legacy. The plan is to play it both ways. As this isn't going to be a simple Pangonging. Obviously a beauty is going to leave but before we all go, they are going to try to get rid of some of the brawns. The goal is that the beauty isn't me and the brawn isn't Jordan. I know you're legally not supposed to trust Jordan Pines but it's never really been the case for me? IDK maybe it's cause he always gets sniped before I betray him. Maybe it's cause the one time he voted me out it was cause I committed suicide by cop. But for the most part he's a realible ally. Also this would be a shitty and stupid lie right? Like he knows I don't have an idol, literally everyone knows that! Trying to get in my good graces is a terrible fucking idea, Jesus. Right now I'm just going to market myself and the others as a free vote. I know it's not realistic to get Augusto and Amir to the finals but it's all I really want. We've been through shit together. I don't want to be put in a position to get them out. I also believe that either Jakey and Ali has the idol. So this round I'm going to flush it. I'm not going to be able to get him out, I just need him to believe he's going to be voted out. He's a very paranoid individual, it shouldn't be too difficult.... I am not going home tonight. I refuse to.

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okay so i haven't done a good typed confessional in a WHILE and i have thoughts. so i'm basically really frustrated with a lot of this tribe and i don't know how to vocalise it. but first the positives.. the fact that i have an alliance of me/autumn/jake brings me such a rush of seretonin, i love them both and i will fight my hardest to get the three of us to the endgame of this game. i think rn my goal final five is me/jake/autumn/adam/devon, adam because i dont think he is playing this game as well as he necessarily thinks he is, but i also think we have trust and he is someone who is scoop-up-able? and then devon i get good energy from him and his straightforward energy i'd like to see in the endgame. the rest however.... whew. well actually Liam is fine, he is sweet and doing his best. of the rest tho... hmm. kendall's energy doesn't quite land with me, her dry sense of humour doesn't really work with me ha so i feel like we are gonna struggle to gel as allies (especially since we are either side of the weird brawn/beauty divide). augusto is very chatty but its a lot of chatting for... the sake of it, like his social game is to just overwhelm you with lots of messages but its nothing of substance. amir i actually like!! he has me-energy, i would actually like him to stick around (he is a good shield too). duncan i am still sus about from premerge, but i'd love to mend that bond because i might need duncan?! tj and jordan both give snake energy... tj is suddenly back to being non-commital with me and it frustrates me, i wish he would like... talk to me KJLSADF. jordan is the same i always get weird energy from him and he was in that weird alliance during the swap and didn't tell me... feel a f10 boot for jordan ideally. honestly its just frustrating i feel like everyone on this tribe is so cagey and like just thinks talking a lot is social game?! and its... not. but yeah ideally first four merge boots: kendall, augusto, tj & jordan (tho the last two is open to consideration if they stop being shady to me KJSDFA).

I just got immunity in the auction and I feel like I wasted a chance to get some long term for my game. Because I wasn't going anywhere this round (I don't think), but like at least it prevented some other people from getting it which allows me some room to make a couple moves without too many repercussions. In terms of social standing, I truly think I have put myself in a good spot. Jakey and Jordan have both said they want me to be their number ones; Devon also has said the same and has told me that he holds the Double Vote. I know that Autumn and Duncan are both willing to work with me in our alliance with Jordan. Liam and I have bonded quite a bit. And I get good vibes from Augusto, Kendall, and Adam. So the big question now is, my target at the moment is Amir... how do I get him out? I need to break up Amir, Augusto, and Kendall so that I have a better chance of working with Augusto specifically down the line and hopefully Kendall as well. I have a feeling that Adam will push for one of the trio and the trio will push for Adam or Jakey, which should give me plenty of ammo to try and make that move. Correction to my last confessional... the trio can't target Jakey because he's immune. Suck it!

i really... really just got my second idol huh... i cant believe it. i bodied that idol hunt, i sat their trying like six hundred combos for the morse code, got that demonic tile and did that evil hashi puzzle... im so happy hehe okay so ignore my super jaded confessional from yesterday im back in again akdjfsaf im literally on a reign of terror doing harsh confessionals then apologising but askdjfafa we move. so yesterday was a real busy day, we had the auction, i called lots of people and... i got myself a little bit of bling. with the auction first, it was really interesting. i misunderstood the "idol block" so i snatched it up, but then it just blocks hunting for the idol versus playing one, but for my mental health am glad i have that. i also got the vote revealer, which was like a mid-tier thing that im happy to have just got a second thing tbh. then i had like six hundred calls kaljsdfas. i called with devon first, he is really sweet and we had a great talk tbh? i really like him and hope we stick together. i did then go on to have very similar conversations to the one i had with him, with augusto and amir, but i felt best about the conversation me and devon had tbh. augusto is sweet, and very social. like i'd prefer to vote him to kendall, but i like him ha and feel like we have a bond now. i think i could be a good number moving forwards (i wouldn't want him gone 11th/10th). amir is also very nice, we are calling tomorrow, and i just dont think targetting amir is in my best interest rn? like what's the end goal in doing that. so then right now. i think i want the merge vote to be kendall? i feel like if we let that trio slide, its scary, and i have a closer connection to amir and augusto of the three. i think then the brawn tribe can turn inwards, but im eager to push the brawn tribe like "implosion" until after that trio is taken apart (to the style of splitting up alex c/jones/mo from montenegro) also otherwise i got an IDOLLL, or rather my second hehe. i put in a LOT of work to get it, i translated morse code, i did a demonic hashi puzzle, i got the 2048 tile. i earned this idol and im very proud. now i have two idols so have such wiggle room. and i'm building bonds across the tribe... im not saying im set, but... im covered for the time being

okay so im a clown and got frustrated with jordan for telling jake he was hesitant to keep me in... jordan just told me he has been downplaying our connection to people like jake KJLSDAFA so i fully just bought into nothing.

i am starting to feel my standing in the game rise, like im building bonds... everywhere. like im starting to become set to go the distance because i have lots of lowkey social bonds and because im not overtly super strategic i dont think i seem as threatening.

okay so ideal merge bootlist: f4: me/autumn/jake/devon, adam (5th), liam/jordan (6th/7th), amir (8th), duncan (9th), augusto (10th), tj (11th), kendall (12th) and then at the moment the order i would vote for people as a juror (bringing this back from montenegro): jake > autumn > amir > jordan > duncan(?) > devon > augusto > adam > tj > kendall > liam because i think jake has already idoled someone, and to make it to f3 after that is super impressive. autumn is a queen, has real strategic savvy and will have made moves to get to the end. amir is very much like autumn and him making it to the end. jordan is an amazing player and tbh deserves a win. duncan is really in game-mode and id love to see him in FTC (what a role reversal), devon has a real rootable underdog story, augusto is a social king, adam needs to pick it up beyond just targetting beauties to get my vote. tj/kendall are question marks for me, and then liam i LOVE but he doesn't necessarily 100% want to be here so i would be tentative to vote him. but its crazy because i think: jake/autumn/devon/adam/liam/jordan/amir/duncan... all trust me to some extent that's... such a large portion of the tribe. so i need to be careful im not scorning people too much, but this is a real work-able situation i think ahh

Interesting development that both Kendall and Amir want/wanted to call and talk to me. I just finished talking to Kendall (she is so sweet, I enjoy talking to her!) and I definitely see an avenue where we work together, but I am concerned that there does seem to be a guard up, which I totally understand given that we haven't been on a tribe together. We both kind of mentioned that Liam has been flirting with the idea of asking to be voted out which gave me an avenue to not say that the name I would throw out is Amir. I do hope that Liam isn't adamant about going because I truly do care for him and want him to stay in this game. I picked up a great ally in him after the initial Brawn vote and losing him now won't be fun. It does dispel this Brawn alliance people probably expect to be happening, but am I at ease with Liam going to facilitate that? But if that happens, that delays the fight between Adam/Jakey against the trio of Augusto/Amir/Kendall, which in fact would be good for me as it allows me to slide by for another week... ugh, decisions decisions. Why do I feel like this first vote could determine the rest of my game?

So Liam still wants to be in the game, which is good. I can easily work with that. Yes, I feel awful telling Kendall I thought the vote would be Liam, but now that he seems to want to be in the game, I think I can work with Liam possibly staying. I still have to wait it out and listen to what some others think, but I may be back on the board of going for one of the trio. I know Jakey wants to do Kendall, but I don't want her to go just yet. Eventually, yeah probably, but I do want her here.

Whew merge merge merge. Tonight is the first night to play my legacy advantage, i could block a vote but honestly im probably not going to. Id be pretty caught off guard if i was the target tonight and I think id rather let it fester to an idol, whether for me or someone else later tha depends on my game play. Last night was the auction and boy did jordan win big, i got a whole vote steal that im pretty sure no one knows about. I created a believable (i think) lie about what i bid on and spread and thankfully adam came out the gate with a super fact checkable lie about the auction so i think most of the heats on him. For the vote it could be a beauty butpart of me really sees liam going home just cause people are so scared of how many brawn are in the game, and like thats fine i can deal with that. I am slowly building my relationships to the point where i can get the ball rolling enough to do some damage. Ive been biding my time in the shadows for most of this game, but Jordan Pines is about to rise!

this round is what we call a mixed bag like the auction? hated that girl. I saved my money and all I got was a drawing like sis this is the Survivor Auction not an actual auction ;-; but other than that, I’ve felt really good about how I’ve been playing? Like always, I’m trying to be the Belle of the Ball and have everyone want me as a date yknow? Currently, I have my main allies (Amir, Kendall, Devon) but others (Autumn, Duncan, Ali, Jordan, Jakey) have expressed that they want to work with me which is cute! I don’t know who to trust tho ngl but yay? My main priority is getting my footing in the game this first round and hopefully getting out a Brawn. The main two I want gone from the Brawns are Liam M and Jordan Pines. Liam M is the easier sell and I don’t mind that, Jordan Pines is someone I want gone soon though. I also want Adam gone if at all possible sometime soon but we shall see!

i take it back jordan and duncan can go again...? literally like both of them preach up and down that we are gonna work together, then pull shady stuff like saying me and adam are a duo in their alliance chat of gremlins with love of my life autumn and professional robot tj?! literally just because y'all linked up at swap and think you are gods gift to alliances doesnt mean me and adam are a duo? i just talk to him and actually give him a chance in this game unlike like... 99% of this cast. now i cant really defend adam at all or people are gonna try and snap my neck? which sucks... adam was in my endgame but because i see him having a losing finalist arc versus me being a duo with him. so that sucks but well. it just reconfirms to me that i have to trust autumn. which is not hard because i literally love her sm and i want to see thrive in this season. so i am praying it works out. this cast continues to prove that being a muppet is a contagious disease.

im absolutely LIVID right now.... i dont even know where to begin ?? let's start with this: are we playing SURVIVOR or are we playing america's next top CLOWN?? because based on how silly all these people are it doesnt seem like survivor. this is my 3rd time playing this game, and never once have i ever made it to a merge where .... every single person wants to just settle on one name since they're the "easy" vote.... and yet that's all im being told with people wanting to vote liam?? at this point i hope the plan is to vote ME out and everyone is just telling me liam because i dont want to play the game with a bunch of feeble minded school of fish who have no backbone. first of all everyone has wanted to do nothing but play that ANNOYING ass "ooh its been quiet i havent heard a name yet" game for the entire day. We're 3 hours before tribal and all the sudden everyone wants to sing kumbaya and vote for liam??? because he's not around, which guess what it does make him an easy vote but....this is survivor why would you EVER vote that person off in the merge right away, he can literally go next or any other time. I refuse to sit back and just conform to it, ill probably end up having to, but im gonna try to push what to ME makes the most sense, not only for myself but for everyone... to get one of those 3 false beautys out. I've been going to a lot of people and basically saying "Let me break it down for you: one of them 150% has the idol??? and thanks to the suvivor auction, and based on what ive gathered from people they probably have advantages too.....why waste this vote being "easy" because then next round....they're gonna know it'll be one of them and so......they're gonna play all their shit and take someone out, and i absolutely reserve the right to laugh at whoever it is because theyre an idiot and didnt want to wake up and play the game (unless it's me of course oop) I've approached, jakey, autumn, duncan, jordan, ali, devon, tj, pretty much ANYONE who has a brain to just state the obvious.....its stupid getting liam out. literally the stupidest and quite frankly downright embarrassing move to make for a group of players of this caliber. and you know what responses ive gotten? "oh its too soon to rock the boat" "we have to get one of those brawns out" "yeah we just have to go with the brains on this one" ??? too soon??? at merge??????? to play the game of survivor??????????? at this point im about to try and just tell liam with the very slim chance that he has an idol and can use it on himself because how am i supposed to try and play the game of survivor with people who dont want to play its frustrating. **update as i was writing this i just had a call with jordan pines, im not as mad anymore after smoking weed with him for like 20 minutes ahfdd but its BORING LIKE WAKE UP PEARL LETS PLAY SURVIVOR...i probably made a big mistake pushing those 3 to as many people as i just did but whatever hopefully it at least planted seeds with people and people actually try and approach me in the future rounds with that idea again in other news, the auction happened and i got the power to go to the prejuror island and plead my case with them regarding this next vote, no one was even there so that was lovely i felt like i was talking to myself so nothing new there, i peeped connor was online but didnt have anything to say when i showed up, much like how he never had anything good to say in the game and that's why he was voted out, but ANYWAY. im pissed i made a case to them to vote for amir and now no one will even make the move with me. I also bought a challenge advantage which i wanted MOSTLY so i could just tell people thats what i got from it because to me i suck at challenges anyway, so it shouldnt paint as much of a target on my back and i want people to know i dont have one of those really scary ones (and i also want to keep making people think amir or kendall has something good), but ali did confide in me he has the vote reveal which made me trust him a lot more, and i dont plan on revealing to anyone what he told me so anywho, tribal is NOT gonna go my way tonight, i tried to make a move but liam is unfortunately completely unsaveable because he's not around even though i do like talking to him personally, i opened the door to people and it just got slammed in my face but in this game you have to learn when to drop it so im hoping i dropped it fast enough to not be a future target because people could still very well vote me out next because they'd be taking out the only real beauty left!

tj, jordan and duncan are all going home as soon as possible. they really think they are slick and they are not. they think they can badmouth me, my game and my position and it wont get back to me. there is a word for it and it is clownery. one of them is going to get to stepping really soon. maybe jordan.

also i cant be too mad at liam because im voting him but i wish it wasnt like this. well. what can you do. if he plays an idol im playing mine.

Now that we're told the right day... Well, it looks like most people are back on the Liam Train, and damn I really don't want this move to be made. Like, yes, it will set me up well moving forward: less "Brawn Alliance" hype, more battles between Adam/Ali vs. Beauty Babes, and a decent amount of social mobility for me. But this just feels like a giant waste and I don't know how to stop this at this rate.

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First of all: YAASSSSSSSS WE LOVE MAKING THE MERGE!!!! I’ve gotten over my Scott grief and actually am pretty content with him out of the game since he was a big contender to win it all. The time I’ve been able to spend talking to people has been amazing and I feel like I genuinely have a good relationship with everyone on the tribe besides Liam, which is why I’m happy to see him go. He’s a really nice guy but he’s not adding anything to my game. I expect the vote to go 11-1-1 tonight. I could always get idoled out or blindsided and that would suck but you try your best and do what you can! I think I have EXCELLENT relationships with Amir, Jordan and Autumn and that’s like the kingpins of each group so if someone comes after me hopefully I’ll hear about it one way or another. I need to get my head out of Amir’s ass though, I’m most excited to play with him and we called for literally 2 hours and 50 minutes yesterday. I’ve always thought he was cute and intelligent from when I was in the community before and I fangirled getting to play with him. I like to think I’m in a good position in this game so far, we’ll see as the game progresses. One last thing? ADAM!? SIS?!?! EVERYONE IS AWARE YOU LIED TO THEM! YOUR ASS IS GOING HOME NEXT! PERIODT!! (Hopefully I’ll be here to help vote you out lol

Well, here we are? This is where my game was MADE back in Guyana, however, I clearly don't have a solidified alliance I am willing to take to the end at this stage. We have 5 Brawns, three former winners, a person I voted out in Guyana, two people that voted me out, and a person I tried voting out last round all still in the game. Still, I am going to make the best of it. In the short period of time this game has provided, I have been able to make REALLY solid connections. Not all of them are 100% genuine, but the hope is that they're enough to gain trust and information that I can use to advance my game.

if i go home tonight im gonna lose my marbles

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so basicallyyyy jakey is gathering intel from the other sideand apparently theyre all scared of me, grow up??? im literally harmless wtf

HOHOHOHOOGO WHO WANTS SOME TEA ? SO DUNCAN SPILLED THAT back long ago on original hathor, remember when I was losing my mind thinking aj ratted everything to Adam It was THE TRUTH and I’m glad aj has been dealt with. It’s what he deserves .

adam thinks hes so fucking slick running around telling everyone i gotta go and that i have the idol, and then messaging me in my pms trying to call and have a "tea-spilll uwu" when hes just going to use that against me anywayyyy honey u arent as smart as u think u are, and when the time is right, you're getting crucified ADAM CAME TO ME TO BE LIKE "FUCK JAKEY WON IMMUNITY" and im like "ik :( " and he runs to jakey and goes "THE RATS ARE MAD U WON" mark my words if im leaving this game i will blow him tf up on the way out

these people are all rats ALLIANCE: Threats R Us members: jakey ali autumn Source: jakey ALLIANCE: (name unknown) Members: Autumn Duncan TJ Jordan Source: Autumn so autumn ratted on an alliance to me and not the other, which lets me know that she is far more invested in Ali that she is in Duncan. Working with Duncan is not going to save face with autumn, i have to treat her as a separate entity and work with her genuinely if i want safety from ali, like she sold duncan tj and jordan down a river to me so fast i love her so much, i want to work with her but i have to see how far it goes people i want out : adam tj liam ali jordan but rn ill settle for anyone but me cuz no one is talking to me

devon wanted to talk real quick and tellin me that there was a whole ass plan started by adam to get me out, like say the vote is kendall but actually vote for me, and the plan was entertained by brawn, also i told jakey i have the idol, and jakey told me ali has 2 idols a vote reveal and an idol block

#BackWithVengeance

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survivingjapan · 7 years

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EPISODE 8 “Touchy Swapjects” - Ashton

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Ok fuck me I'm slacking so hard on these. I think it was like Episode 2 the last time I did one and that's basically because jack shit has happened since then. Legit we won 5 immunities in a row and just chilled. Then Double Tribal was announced and we realized that we actually had to do stuff. With that announcement talks of alliances began and a diverse group of white males came together to form a fabulous alliance. It is myself, Johnny, Drew, Trace, Dom and Steffen. Originally we were the meninists but after realizing that might be problematic (Especcially since we are targeting a woman whoops) we changed it to messinists. As I spoilered above we did target a woman when we finally went to tribal. Someone had to go and it had to be Ruthie because everyone loves her really and that's threatening. Again I feel bad, Same way how I did after the first boot, but this is how the game has to go. To win you have to be cutthroat.

Oh I also have a fun touchy swapjects strategy. Its basically just assume everyone hates Kage and answer him for all the negative things. Then also assume everyone thinks Drew is basically Jesus and vote him for all the positive things. It's probably gonna fail miserably and just make both of them target me but we will see

Ruthie went.... Just like I wanted her to, it was so easy. Now I need to find a way to NOT be taken a back as the BIG target during touchy feelings. I'm hoping that Steffen and Drew come out a bit worse because they've been playing this game pretty hard as well, and this is always the challenge that fucks me up. If anything, this round is going to show me that I need to take a step back again. I actually think I was VERY mellow when it came to the Ruthie vote, and honestly i've been barely socializing, and showing that I'm not thinking about the game THAT much, so I just hope this will work. I am NOT trying to win this challenge because I don't really want any involvement in the swap twist, like I'm sure is about to happen, so this way, I can just get scooped up by someone and figure it out later. Time to make people feel like shit and do this reward challenge!

https://youtu.be/O3plk8Pueh8 Change of fu king plans brians bitch ass decided he didnt like kendall so now we better win immuniyy or else im sending his ass home OR im forcing him to vote with us to not go to rocks and throwing the comp to get him out next time when kendall-tommy and I are the majority

Hey. It's Johnny. Johnny Stockton. There's not a simple explanation for the things that I feel that's right. Don't adjust your whatever device you''re hearing this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return on engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of HOW I GOT SWAP FUCKED IN JAPAN JESUS FUCKING CHRIST OML!!!! I mean.... in all reality this isn't bad. I didn't want to end up with Jonathan or Junior because I feel they're REALLY good players, and don't see working with the heroes as a benefit to him, but this was actually not a horrible swap here. The worst part about it is that Kendall is on this tribe and she is horrifically inactive, but on the bright side, the Villains would probably want to target her first. I think I can play it off the best I can about Kendall being inactive is that she is being punished right now, but is going to be with us, because it's a pretty easy case for none of them to swing to the heroes side if Kendall isn't fucking playing, and on top of that, if she self votes, and we tie, we go to rocks. As for who else I ended up with.... Trace is one of my mains, so this was good to have him here. I know I can rely on him a lot to get deeper in this game, and is probably the person I have the most faith in in this game, to never turn on me, which is a great feeling to have coming into a swap. Then we've got Tommy, who has been talking to me nonstop since the beginning of the game, and I can't tell if he's legit or not in terms of how much he REALLY wants to work with me, but I'm getting the vibe that he doesn't really want Brian around, and that Tommy didn't want to vote out Richie, which means that there might be some animosity there, and there's a good chance that we could see a Brian vs Tommy showdown on this tribe if we lose one. Sarah seems really sweet, really funny and EXTREMELY manipulative. I think she's probably the biggest threat on my tribe, and I'm probably going to have to do some research on her before we get a bit deeper into things. I think she'll be very responsive to working with me over the other two from my tribe and I think I can make it. As for Brian, I've been told that he might be a bit inactive, he's busy all the time, but seemed to have a lot of pull in their old tribe, which seems intriguing to me. I am more compelled to work with Brian than I am Tommy or Sarah, and I can't explain why, but I'm sure I'll get there. As for now, my ultimate goal is to beat out Trace and Kendall in communication and helpfulness to the tribe, which shouldn't be that hard. I think, easily, I'm going to be able to make power moves in this tribe, and I'll probably be the pinpoint guy to everyone. I just don't want this swap to put a target on my back, but sometimes, it's gotta happen, and if it does, then let the good times roll. I've gotta get to merge and I'm going to make it happen.

So after we swap, Crow immediately runs to me and asks for my help, and how he can have an in on my tribe, and immediately I just ask the same question. He's in a much worse predicament than what I'm in, so I asked him what he thinks of the people on my tribe, and he said that Brian would be a VERY good person to work with on my tribe, so I returned the favor and told him that he should work with Brain's best friend, and my closest ally (i didn't say the closest ally thing) Steffen. If Crow and Steffen are working together on one tribe, and Brian and I are working together on another, I think that could really benefit us in the long run to potentially form an intertwining foursome that can really take over the game, and the amount of options I can make to take over the game would be amazing. It turns out touchy subjects was not that horrible for me, because it seems like the answers I could've gotten were biggest challenge threat, surprised you most in challenges, most for the tribe, most intimidating and who should play the next duel. These questions make me confused as to why the people that ended up on my tribe ended up on my tribe, but I'm not going to question it for much longer, and I'm sure touchy subjects will provide some answers, and I'm just hoping I'm not in the crossfires like I was in Soloman. I want to win reward because I want that idol clue, and I want to find another idol. Having a regular idol, and that super idol, in the game could be VERY groundbreaking, simply for a resume standpoint, and this time, I wouldn't tell anyone about it, which means I'd have one idol with Steffen that is like a super idol, but then another idol for myself as a backup, so I'm going for it hard and hope I get the idol. I'm starting to believe that the idol Steffen and I have is the only one in the game, and that actually gets me really excited. Now it's going to come down to is whether or not Steffen is going to give me the idol. I don't see a valid excuse for him to not give it to me, because we're supposed to be a fucking PARTNERSHIP, and when I brought it up after we swapped, he said "we'll talk about it when we get there." ........... if this kid screws me over, it's not going to be pretty

I'm not a brawn. I'm a brain or AT LEAST a beauty? This is insulting af. But hey, if being a brawn means I can be immune for a few rounds, I'll pretend to be a brawn! Right now, the heroes have an obvious majority on Nagoya 4-2, with Kage and I on the outside. However....I'm utilizing my secret bond with Johnny and Brian's bond with Steffen and my bond with Brian to cultivate an alliance with Steffen. If Steffen can protect me in this first vote, then I can slither my way into the cracks of these 4 heroes. I've been talking to Drew a lot recently so maybe he'd be inclined to keep me too...I just need to dig my talons into either Dom or Ashton well enough to make myself influential on this tribe. Slowly but surely I will creep my way into power... Caw caw, ain't dead yet bitch!

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH This swap worked out so perfectly. I actually feel bad omg. 4 of my alliance members all put on an alliance of 6. This is what dreams are made of. OG MY GOD. And 2 Great Lakeans!!! This was legitimately the perfect swap for me, I'll be surprised if I ever get a vote on this tribe.

Why are people so shady? Like apparently Drew and Ruthie are best friends, yet Drew was the one who told me that he wanted Ruthie out. Either Sarah's lying to me, or Drew's really ruthless and that's unsettling as someone who wants to work with him. Especially since I just gave him an idol since I found a different tribe's idol. How unlucky can I get. Though I guess being on the Brain's is fun since I'm with three people from the Heroes. Problem is they all hosted together, so if we lose three challenges (or potentially less), I'm screwed. So there is a part of me debating to tie it and go to rocks to potentially send one of them home because I want to secure my spot to the merge.

Honestly, this swap has me feeling so many types of ways. Me, along with Sarah and Tommy, are the only Villains in any sort of position with numbers. The other 2 tribes have 2 Villains each and 4 Heroes while we have 3-3. That definitely gives us an upper edge in the case of a vote, but we really just have to mainly focus on winning. I'm tired of going to tribal after tribal and not being able to trust anyone to make a decision to benefit my own game. I know that if Tommy or Sarah flip, to which I know Tommy would definitely flip on me to better his game and I'm not 100% sold Sarah would do the same but she might, it'll 100% be a vote against me and not against the other. I'd love to vote Tommy out right now given he is such a big threat and he's more on the ins with the other Villains than me BUT I need him. I'm going to put in work on Johnny and Kendall and Trace tbh just so they'd rather vote a different direction and maybe just work with me and not against me, whether it be against Sarah or Tommy or against one of their own. Because if I hear Tommy's name come up, I'll jump on that ship right away (unless I think I can cause a flip). I have nothing against him personally, he's a sweetheart, but like... I will always feel some awkward tension there between the two of us for some unknown reason.

THEY GOT ME GIRLS ! We done fuckin swapped but it was bvbvb through answers on touchy subjects and I got put on Brain because I'm ugly and weak. So that's exciting. What's not exciting is people are probably eyeing Isaac, Pippa, and I really hard because of COURSE we ended up on the same tribe. The thing that worries me is that we wanted to go for Junior first just because he's Like That™ but tbh?? Jonathan a rat! And yeah before I say this - I know he's in minority on the tribe and is gonna do anything to stay. But at least wait to talk to all the heroes first before you go throwing people under the bus mayhaps? But because Alex wants to have babies with Pippa and wants to keep the Malaysians alive, he told Isaac that last night Jonathan came to him and was like "you know Andrew, Isaac, and Pippa hosted together right? That's dangerous" and I'm like bitch maybe try talking to all of us first before you try to BUST a move... it's just so frustrating. But I'm hoping Alex wouldn't flip. However if he does it will totally be me getting the votes. So fuck right off! Now that that's happened, Jonathan may have screwed himself by opening his mouth too early. Because now I kinda wanna build a better relationship with Junior? I feel like he coulda been popular on the villains and he could be my in for them if I need to get with some of the villains - which I'm still totally open to. Idk this is all in the hypothetical that we lose obviously, but SOMEBODY (Jonathan) has got me fucked up! FUCKED. UP. Oh and also, just to follow with the tradition this lovely community has enjoyed following for almost 2 years of handing every game on the planet to Drew - ALEX GAVE DREW A FUCKING IDOL. Are you serious? Is this real life? I have never seen Handing_Drew_The_Game.png personified more than someone HANDING HIM A FUCKING IDOL WITH NO EFFORT INVOLVED. You wanna win Drew? Okay yeah here ya go it's not like I wanted it anyway (said 90% of the cast). So now we have to really really really blindside Drew if we want him out. Which I do! Since the beginning! But he won the damn individual immunity because why wouldn't he? And Alex just went and fucked it up even more. Poor kid is so sweet but like... girl why? I mean at least he told Isaac and I. Which this could be good(?) just because it shows his loyalty and shows hopefully that he wouldn't flip on us - mainly me though. If he's gonna be blindly loyal then that's better than being a snake.

https://youtu.be/i-O0-lToC24 fuck u alex

Both tribes going to tribal? I don't have to knock someone out of my tribe yet? Lul. I'm safe. Life is good. Hopefully next round is music videos!

So Steffen gave me the idol, so I'm clearly good for this round. I hope we stay separated because it's a straight ticket to merge for us. As for this double tribal, I am 99% sure my name is not going to go around anyways as the vote, simply because there are so many things that could happen, and it seems like the brains are getting the vast amount of attention for this vote, as our tribe is trying to stay out of it and stay unified. I'm not entirely sure how true what they're saying is, but I'm hoping that everyone sticks to their word, and I can get people to prove loyalty. I'm nervous about Sarah and Kendall, but I'm thinking that if I can just get Brian to load all of his trust into me, i should be good.

I know I have Tommy because Tommy just sat on call with me for an hour and ran through every single tribal that has happened so far for the Villains and why they all happened, and I think I know my fair share of information, but the main problem is that I don't see too many cracks into these three on my tribe, so I'm just hoping the heroes I'm going to tribal with have an answer. Time to see what Pippa, Isaac, Alex and Andrew have to offer while my two inactive Hero tribemates are GONE (rolls eyes)

So I finally get in contact with my ex heroes, and they all want to vote for Jonathan, which is absolutely perfect for me because it essentially means that I don't need to worry about voting someone out of my tribe, and we can maintain numbers, which would be awesome, but now that's very NOT likely to happen because after talking to them all collectively, it seems that they want to take out BRIAN from my tribe, which is no bueno because Steffen and I are trying to get together that whole Crow, Brian, him and I thing, and we can't really do that without Brian, so now I have to do damage control to try to get the vote going my way. My preferred option would be Sarah or Jonathan going because I like the rest of the villains, and Sarah proposes the biggest threat on my tribe

Trying to get Sarah out is starting to become a piece of work. I really just want the Heroes on the other tribe to respect my decision as easily as I would've respected theirs, and that's not at all what I'm getting here. I want to vote for Sarah because she has the BEST position on my tribe right now, and by using other numbers to take her out, it gives me the advantage and an easy path to merge and out of this swap fucked tribe, but instead, because Isaac and Alex C. want to take out Brian, they aren't budging and they're being selfish as shit not wanting to take out the person i want to take out, to help me get closer to merge, and it's really starting to piss me off because I was A okay with getting out Jonathan when they asked me to, so now I'm in a whole new other bind. Trace told me last night that the Villains wanted to target Alex C, and I'm actually starting to think this might not be a bad idea. Previously, had we lost a few times on the Heroes, that's someone I really would've wanted to target, and now is my best chance to take him out while gaining the trust of some of the villains. It's a VERY risky move though because straying away from some very loyal Heroes might bite me in the butt later on, and I'm honestly not sure if I'm looking to piss off a whole lot of people, especially people on my own tribe who will be pissed if this is happening. I know that Tommy wants Alex C. gone, but I'm curious if Sarah wants the same, because if she does, then I can use that to get it back to Alex C., and then maybe he'll actually change his mind and vote Sarah out. I don't know how this is going to go, but all I know is that I'm pretty annoyed at this point, and I might have to let Brian go, which ruins a lot of plans I wanted to have down the line, and limits the amount of power I might be having in the game.

tbh the fact that Alex, Isaac and Pippa seemingly discussed that Jonathan would be the move, and then threw it into a group chat, and then changed it again without telling me, and are strong arming me to vote for Brian is not at all making me happy, and honestly rather pissed off. I might vote out a hero this round. My rationale is pretty strong and they're excluding me HARD. I've got a group of Heroes I trust, and that's Steffen, Dom, Trace, Ashton, Drew, and on the side Andrew BIG TIME. It ain't Alex C., Kendall, Isaac or Pippa, and those just so happen to be a lot of the people in question this round. I think I want to vote out any of those four people, who just so happen to all be vulnerable this round. Let's play ball because I'm honestly ready for it. I have an idea.

This is by far the messiest round I've been a part of ever in my TS experience. Sarah knows I wanted her out, and she said she still wants to work with me, and now all my fire is fueled by the fact that I want to go full force at taking out one of the heroes, who is responsible for her finding out. I can't take out Alex C, because Sarah wants Alex C. in the game, so my best option is to just tell Sarah that I'd vote for Isaac with her, Tommy, Brian, Jonathan, Junior, and then hopefully I can bring Trace into this, and we can start breaking a part the other side of the heroes, and Trace and I can slide by another day, with the four other people I trust most sitting pretty on the brawn tribe, and then I am safe, hopefully able to not let Sarah target me after this round, but as of right now, my sights are set on Isaac, and I think it's time for him to go home.

This game is tough, to be quite honest. Like, I love Sarah to death. She's a fantastic person. But because we were on opposite sides it makes it really hard to try and save her this round. I want Brian out solely because Brian doesn't talk to me at all. But they all want Sarah out and it's like... what the hell can I do about it? It's not like I can go up all Mr. Macho and demand we vote off Brian. I'm trying to stay in this game, and I'm not going to jeopardize mine because Sarah wants to stay.

Imagine a game in which everyone bends to what person wants. The wishes of that person could be completely non-beneficial, but because they are an opinionated person everyone will just go with it. If you guessed BB19, you're right! If you also guessed this game, you're pretty right! Because this has turned into the fuckin do what Alex wants game because he just whines and then people listen : ) I heard as a child that whining doesn't fly in the real world but then again this is an online game so who care, right? Now Alex is a sweet kid. I've grown to like him, but that doesn't mean I won't drag what has so far been bad gameplay on his end. Let's list: 1) Him and Kendall having no subtlety in trying to control the Malaysians/Solomons/Indians. 2) Handing Drew an idol when we could have been establishing better relationships with someone like Dom. Yes I know Drew can use it for us but that guy is not to be trusted more than Dom in my opinion. 3) Trying to keep Sarah around when she's not even debatably - just IS one of the biggest threats in the game. So now him and Kendall are fighting for Brian to go and like yeah I'm not a fan of him but he has barely any control in this game? And they preach that Sarah will flip to us and I'm like but how do you really know.png? So this is just pissing off Johnny, Isaac is mad at Johnny for bringing Sarah's name up to Alex in the first place, and Drew is suggesting Tommy as a compromise. And I just REALLY think we need to go for Sarah. Like yeah fine I guess I'd go for Brian but Sarah told me she heard brains are going for Brian so if we're all being duped and there's an idol play then one of us heroes on the brains is fucked. And it'll probably be me! I will kms if I go out on Day 19. Honestly fuck all of these people like this isn't time for your personal agendas to be clashing because that's when shit goes wrong. It's a joint tribal so why not make it simple and not be a bunch of assholes? Because not only is everyone confused but now everyone's mad at each other so thank you Alex and Kendall for being real team players :)))) And idk wtf to even tell Junior and Jonathan. Like I told them I want Brain strong and specifically said to Junior that I think we need to keep brains together for challenge reasons. Hopefully he bought it yeah. Anyway I know that the people who would vote Sarah are myself, Pippa, Isaac, Johnny, and Trace. But that's 5. Aka not majority. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I can't even think about tribal council. Too many people are going in one direction, Alex C. is pissing me the FUCK off, and I'm losing my mind. My head hurts from this mess, and my heart hurts because I'm about to vote out Isaac, who i really like, but in order to get to the merge, and the next phase of this game, I need to keep the people on my TRIBE happy, and that's just what I'm doing. Isaac, you're about to be a victim of Alex's douche cockery.

https://youtu.be/u3pcLZHzxOA

http://youtu.be/gF029p42GUs im sick

The vote ended up landing on tommy I guess? Bc Alex decided to be a condescending asshole which Isaac said he was just mad bc it felt like no one was listening to him but at that point it's just common courtesy to not be an ass yeah? So Alex is on my shit list and johnnys too probs bc that's just toxic for an alliance. I don't wanna have a heart attack from one alliance member every time bc they decide to be rude and treat me like an idiot 5 year old! This is all granted I stay tho bc tbh if they target someone over here then it'll be me and if they target someone over there itlll probably be trace. But we all had to settle on tommy. I compared receipts in our big alliance and he literally mutually promised to everyone that they wouldn't vote each other out so bye! I don't feel bad! And hopefully if they're idoling someone then they'll idol Brian. It needs to be a blindside. This is starting to look like a villains game so if I need to get a little spicy then oh well I'm not bothered. But if I get out on day 19 I think I'll definitely have a severe emotional breakdown so yeah : )

Tfw your alliance is crumbling around you because Johnny, Andrew, Alex, & Kendall are stupid. They all want to be running the show. And I'm just sitting here letting them gain reason to distrust one another. So originally Brian was going home, then it flipped to Sarah, then it flipped again to Tommy and I think he's going to get blindsided tonight whew. He made protection deals with like 9 people so he has it coming yeah. Also I found the brain Idol! I'm so excited. I really want to do well this season and redeem myself and reinvent my game and I think I'm doing pretty well so far. I hope I don't let y'all down.

Hi I don't know how to mind my own business! So since I have connections with both Johnny and Sarah I got to hear both sides of what was going at this tribal and based on my calculations, Isaac should be going home in approximately an 8-4 over Brian. me somehow getting involved in their mess me also about to be first boot out of nagoya my social priorities are NOT in check

#returnrevengeredemption #confessionals

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