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isuzukuretsuki · 4 years

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me before playing blue lions: haha I’m not like ~other girls~ I don’t like Dimitri and I think he’s boring and basic.

me after playing blue lions: I will die for Dimitri.

I finally finished Azure Moon!! Can’t believe it took me 4 damn months to finish this route. Just like with Crimson Flower, I decided to do a very long write up of my thoughts of this route after letting my thoughts marinate for a bit. There will be spoilers for both Azure Moon and Crimson Flower. Also disclaimer: these are just my personal opinions.

Tldr: this route was so fucking good!!!! I jumped ship from being team Edie/BE to team Dimitri/BL faster than Sylvain jumps girlfriends because I enjoyed this route more than Crimson Flower in almost every way possible. The Blue Lions are my KIDS and I will die for each and every one of them. Blue Lions may not be my first route/house, but this is where my heart rightfully lies.

I guess the first thing I should get out of the way are the negatives. While this isn’t really a complaint about AM specifically and more so the narrative over the entire game... the conflict between Edelgard and Dimitri seems really stupid and contrived. In other games, war happens because the villain is evil. In this game, war happens because the villain is fucking stupid. Basically, I still ain’t convinced that Edelgard’s war was ever necessary LMAO. She straight up nuked the church’s authority and relevancy out of orbit the chapter before the time skip, so she technically already accomplished her goal; why she still feels the need to go on a savage conquest alludes me.

Speaking of nuking the church’s relevancy out of orbit, that’s exactly what happened to Rhea LOL. Despite all the church goons clamoring every .5 seconds about how they gotta save Rhea, we literally never see her again at all after the time skip, even at the end of the game. It makes no sense why Edelgard would keep Rhea imprisoned and not kill her, especially when Rhea seemingly served no greater purpose to Edelgard and became completely irrelevant in the war phase.

Edie says some mumbo jumbo of “I weighed the victims of this war against the victims of the world and I deem that there will be less victims of war” like bitch, how??? How do you tangibly quantify “victims of this world”. If she means “people who had a shitty life because of shitty society”, then those people are always going to exist because every society has its flaws. Even if you change society, you aren’t decreasing that number because you’re only solving problems by creating new ones (Edelgard’s specialty). Also the mental gymnastics you have to do to be tortured by an evil organization only to team up with said evil organization to take down another organization that, unless I missed something, isn’t even directly responsible for the death of all your siblings??? In both CF and AM, Edelgard comes off as incredibly thoughtless and illogical in her actions and I can’t help but feel that if she had been just a little bit more diplomatic, then maybe, just maybe, she could have found a better solution without starting a bloody war.

This brings me to the god forsaken chat between Edelgard and Dimitri. Dimitri demanding to know why Edelgard started the war only for her to go “it was the only way” has about the same narrative weight as “Riku why did you become one with the darkness?!” “Because I’m the worst”. Instead of bitching about whose ~ideals~ are better, how about y’all sit down and actually discuss what each person wants to accomplish and maybe figure out a way to accomplish these goals without murdering each other over it? Not that I think Edelgard would accept anything BUT murder, but jesus, this is why you don’t leave diplomatic matters to actual children.

Speaking of why you don’t leave diplomatic matters to children, god that Gronder battle. I get that it’s supposed to be an epic showdown between the three houses that mirrored the mock battle pre time skip but... the Kingdom had literally NO reason to fight the Alliance!!! The reasons they provided to justify why the Kingdom and Alliance couldn’t team up at Gronder was so fucking dumb, especially when two chapters down the line, Claude is knocking at our door begging for help. I will say tho, I never knew how much I appreciated himbo in distress Claude until now lmao.

Rodrigue's death was also really poorly done imo. As much as I liked having Dimitri’s father figure be the one to snap him out of his insanity, (I love found father/son relationships...) how on earth are you guys so fucking incompetent that you let this tiny little girl kill Rodrigue??? It doesn’t help that the exact same thing happened with Jeralt and Monica. This... just ain’t it, chief.

I think the biggest bone I have to pick at AM specifically is... so what the fuck is the truth behind the Tragedy of Duscur LMAO??? They literally blue balled me by dropping the bomb of “Dimitri’s step mom may have conspired in it” ONLY TO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH IT. I assume that the full truth behind the Duscur tragedy will probably be revealed in VW (I hope) because it involves the slithers but it’s highkey ridiculous that the BL goons... never actually find out what really happened, and why. And I get that the story is about them moving on from their trauma and the past, but they should have at least figured out the actual truth behind it so they can get the closure they deserve???

Despite the gripes I have with some of the writing, unless VW or SS is mind blowingly amazing, this route will easily stand as the best route for me, because.... it is kind of is mind blowingly amazing. I wholeheartedly love character driven stories, and this route absolutely delivers in that respect-- the character writing is amazing and is essentially the heart of this story. To think Dimitri and the Blue Lions were the lord/house I was least interested in at first. Even after hearing people talk about what the BL goons and Dimitri’s character arc was roughly about, I was still blown away by just how damn fucking good it was, and this route exceeded my expectations in every way possible.

When playing CF, I struggled to connect with a lot of the beagles; I didn’t have that problem at all with the BL goons and the route does a phenomenal job at making me actually give a shit about these characters and their problems. Childhood friend squad (+Marianne and Ashe) are easily my favourite characters in this game by a landslide, and the dynamic between not only the childhood friend squad, but all the BL goons, was just so, so amazing. Watching these characters that are seemingly joined by a single tragedy, rise above all their suffering as they grow, heal, and overcome hardship together is just so... MY KIDS... MY HEART..... I really got the sense of not only their shared pain, but also shared intimacy, care, and friendship. Their support conversations with each other had everything; from goofy and fun, to soothing and nurturing, to painful and harrowing.

The connections that the BL goons have to the pre time skip missions gave part 1 story so much more meaning, and it only gets better after the time skip. I really appreciate that the BL bean boys actually feel relevant to the main story, and that their input and opinions actually mattered. The cast’s struggle to come to a consensus on the best course of action during the war phase made them feel like actual people with opinions, unlike in CF, where everyone was just a mindless passenger to Edie’s not so merry joyride. This also made Dimitri’s arc way more impactful because the narrative actually holds him accountable for the consequences that his behavior/poor decisions had on others. What I also really liked about the war phase is that you could just feel how war torn the kingdom was and how much everything went to shit after the time skip. I felt really strongly to the characters’ sense of hopelessness at fighting a losing battle as they struggled to keep their home land in tact while everything just kept spiraling out of control and deteriorating further.

So to see the BL goon beans slowly, one battle at a time, turn the tide of the war and push back against the corner they were backed in, was SO fulfilling and rewarding. The battle of Fhirdiad is probably my favourite battle in the entire game because it felt like all the suffering and toiling that the BL goons went through was finally worth it, and just watching the kingdom slowly heal after being liberated was just such a good feeling. This kind of payoff is something I think CF sorely lacked, since tbh, I struggled to celebrate Edie’s victories with her. Though I do appreciate how Edie’s a much more threatening antagonistic force than either Dimitri or Rhea were in CF too bad Edelgard’s boss battle was pathetically easy and Dimitri shredded through her armor like swiss cheese... at least Rhea put up a slightly challenging fight.

I could gush about the characters all day, but Dimitri? He makes this game, 100%. This truly felt like his story and he was the star of this route. On a superficial level, I’m a basic bitch as well as a slut for angsty boys who have trouble talking about their trauma because I want them to rail me. I fucking loved his feral personality it was just so fun to watch and interact with LMAO 10/10 would let him use me until the flesh falls from my bones. His dialogue in this state is just so demeaning, belittling and raw that it somehow comes a full circle and becomes charming I promise I’m not a sick masochist.

I’m also a degenerate and dimileth is my otp. The way the relationship between Dimitri and Byleth develops over the game truly felt like a bond forged over time. The way Dimitri admits that he couldn’t trust Byleth at first because he was put off by the way they could “kill without batting an eye”, to being so elated when he sees them smile for the first time that he’s completely mesmerized when they starts expressing emotion... oof, talk about otp material. I think what really sold me is the way he’s their anchor after Jeralt’s death; their emotional support both in a traditional sense, but also in a darker sense when he declares he will kill anyone so they desire it because their enemies are his enemies. Character A declaring they’d die for character B? Soft shit. Character A declaring they’d kill for character B? A+ romance right there, boys.

On a non superficial level, Dimitri’s character arc of his fall from grace and subsequent redemption was absolutely phenomenal. Just seeing how far he sinks, how far he goes, only to see how far he climbs his way back up after hitting rock bottom, was such a roller coaster and I loved every minute of it. I also probably like revenge stories more than I care to admit. Dimitri has everything; blood lust, cruelty, obsession, but also empathy and compassion so extreme that it’s his very own innate kindness that drives him into insanity, which is what makes him such a compelling character in my eyes. The extremity of his psychosis was absolutely heart breaking, but despite everything, him making the conscious decision to change for the better and rise up to fulfill his role as king was just astounding to watch.

I will say though... maybe I have a screwed up moral compass but tbh Dimitri brutally killing imperial soldires didn’t really upset me because... this is war??? That he didn’t even start?? Everyone is killing everyone??? Even if he never went feral, he’d still be killing because his bloody kingdom is being invaded?????? But I digress.

While I think just how damn avoidable everything was kind of detracts from the tragedy of his relationship with Edelgard, I still really loved how steadfast and unconditional his love for her was (after he stops going feral), and you can tell just how much she meant to him every time he spoke of her. I also love how the dagger kind of becomes a symbolic motif throughout the story, and Edie throwing the dagger at him in the final cutscene as a sign of her wholehearted rejection of him was just fucking depressing, but also very fitting of her character.

I adore the whole overarching narrative and themes surrounding grief and death, befitting of a war game. How, as tempting as it is to constantly keep the memory of the dead alive, there comes a point where you have to move on and not let your life be ruled by those no longer around. The way that the characters react to the death of loved ones and grieve so differently was a huge highlight of the BL squad’s characterizations, which just makes them feel more alive and human. Honestly, no words can really describe just how incredible of an experience Azure Moon was.

Anyway my order from favourite to least favourite BL goon bean boys are: Dimitri > Ashe >/= Sylvain >/= Felix > Ingrid > Mercedes > Annette > Dedue. (I love Ashe/Sylvain/Felix almost equally LOL)

tldr my experience with Azure Moon:

tfw my second best girl is childhood friends with all the best boys in the entIRE GAME and she settles for a guy with a dead wife, daughter, and most likely triple her age :|.

I’ll be finally playing Golden Deer next, which I’m gonna do on NG+ Maddening so.... hope that goes well!!

#fire emblem three houses #ellie plays fe3h terribly

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afoolforatook · 4 years

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Farley addresses shipping discourse for literally the first time in their life, because I care about you guys and hate seeing negativity within the community.

This is a post I’m really hesitant to make, regarding some ship discourse I’ve seen recently. And I am only making it cause it literally has been making me feel ill thinking about it so much and I just need to get it out.

It’s really disheartening to see, especially at the end of this week of such positivity, people I follow and really enjoy following (enjoy their content and 90% of what they say) being outright negative regarding other ships. And I don’t mean from like a anti-multishipping point, but calling other ships/shippers problematic.

Especially when those comments are put on their content, that I want to share, but don’t feel comfortable sharing the comment.

Like I’m 100% for speaking your mind on your own blog, and for saying what you want to, attached to your own work. And I totally understand not liking certain ships, and even thinking certain ships are problematic. Most of the posts I’m referring to here I actually agree with, as far as whether or not I support the ship/want to see that content. I just can’t stand the negativity.

It’s one thing if it’s a ship that is obviously problematic: an adult and a minor, a survivor and their abuser, incest (though I still hate seeing outright negativity thrown around over fictional ships, but I’m extremely and possibly overly adverse to negativity in most circumstances, so it may be my issue).

But when it comes to consenting adult ships that might have some grey areas, can we please just not act like anyone who disagrees with us is morally corrupt?? Don’t like what you don’t like, block what you need to block, unfollow who you need to unfollow, but don’t just be needlessly antagonistic?

Make a post about why you feel that way, but does it have to be added onto art/writing that isn’t directly about that issue? And, while I haven’t actually seen anyone do this in this case I know people do it sometimes, don’t post it in the tag, and especially not during a ship week. (hell I’ve seen enough posts shitting on fair gamers in the fg tag to know people still do this, even if the exact people I’ve seen haven’t)

Like I hate even posting this because, like I said, some of this I’m seeing from people I follow, maybe even some mutuals, and I know they aren’t, and would never try to say they were, bad people, and I’m not trying to attack them. And I worry this will piss people off. And i’m not even talking about how people handle CRWBY interactions, because there is plenty there that makes me uncomfortable or that I don’t agree with how people handle things, but I still support them. I’m just talking about how we treat each other, how we handle differences within our own community.

But just. Is it that hard or wrong to ask people to be cognizant that just because someone ships something you have an issue with, it doesn’t mean they’re a bad person or deserve to be shamed?

I think it’s especially bothering me because I’ve seen people I follow on both sides of a ship, which means they’re both also fair gamers, and I hate the idea that people who are part of such a hurt and supportive community could then also hurt each other over another ship.

I feel like I want to be more specific but I really truly don’t want to call anyone out, and really, though I have specific examples I’ve seen recently, it’s not just one ship or one person or one kind of post. It’s just in general.

I know I am hyper sensitive to discourse and negativity. I know that means that I do not always have good or reasonable reactions to valid discourse. But I really try to see every side, to be open minded and understanding.

But we curate what we interact with. If you don’t like something, if something triggers you or just bothers you enough that you don’t want to have to see it, curate your experience. Block, unfollow, blacklist tags. If someone you like posts some ship content you don’t like, ask them to tag it if they don’t already.

And maybe I’m being overly sensitive here and unreasonable about certain things. I can acknowledge that that’s not an insane possibility. But in that case, know that if I like something of yours but don’t share it, and it has some kind of negative comment attached, that’s probably why. Even if I might agree with that negative comment to an extent. You have every right to say it, and to add it to your own work, but as much as I may like your work, I don’t necessarily want to spread that sentiment/atmosphere.

The last thing I want is to alienate people within an already vulnerable and alienated community.

Fairgame is the first thing that has made me want to be active within a fandom community in years. And I’m very thankful for how positive and receptive the community has been towards me. And I know people are still hurt and angry and opinionated and have every right to be.

But seeing negativity and (in my opinion) needless shipping discourse really bothers me and makes me hesitant to be as involved. It makes me paranoid about who to follow or not follow because I worry about accidentally choosing sides/promoting discourse. It makes me worry that people I follow or who follow me will get upset with me over something I ship.

It makes me even second guess myself and worry that maybe I am problematic for liking ironqrow or hummingbird, or the idea that Qrow is Ruby’s dad. (or if I reblog something that I don’t necessarily ship but like the art/content) All of which I have specific circumstances and feelings and opinions around and don’t just blanket support, and I hate the idea of someone writing me off just because they see the surface fact that I like it.

I get why people don’t like those ships or theories, but having different opinions on them doesn’t mean we’re diametrically opposed. It’s like that post recently about how liking theories or ships doesn’t mean you necessarily want them to be canon, or think that the current canon dynamic is healthy, but that the potential for interesting story is there.

I don’t know if this is even coherent enough or makes a clear point. I just. We’re all having a really hard time right now, on so many different fronts. And the least we can do is try our best to be kind to each other, even when we have little differences in opinion (again I’m talking about specific, fandom related, grey area, stuff. Not that bullshit political kind of narrative, y’all know that).

Give each other the benefit of the doubt as much as you can. Don’t write someone off just because they support a ship you don’t. Or if you need to write them off for that, do so, but just do that then, don’t be antagonistic to someone who just simply posts something you don’t like. (Again this is different than confronting someone who is overly antagonistic to others, or blatantly problematic, which even then is a hard line to walk between standing up against something wrong and being mean. I’m also not saying I’ve seen anyone specifically doing this, but with what I have seen I’m sure it’s happening).

Especially within a community that has so many minors within it. That’s something I’m constantly aware of: that there’s a good chance the people I see posting negative content or who could feel targeted by such content, are kids. And especially right now, kids who are under an immense amount of stress and need a place to get away, where they don’t have to worry about constantly fielding discourse from within a community they look for support in.

I don’t know whether to put this in the fair game tag or not. If I do, it’s because everything I’ve seen has been from people within the fair game community.

And if I’m wrong about something here please let me know, I’m fine to talk about things (though also know that I might get overwhelmed easily at any perceived conflict and may take my time to reply). But please be conscious of how you do so, be polite. I’m genuinely not writing this towards any one person or about one ship, the only reason I’m posting it at all is specifically because I’ve seen it over multiple blogs and multiple topics.

#rant #really nervous about this #but I feel like it's important #guys just be kind to each other #you can be opinionated and angry and hurt and strong in your opinion and still be kind #hard to believe I'm addressing shipping discourse in 2020 at 24 #when I avoided all shipping discourse throughout highschool #which i feel like is proof that I say it because I really care about all of you #if I didn't I'd just stay quiet or leave #me:makes a post about how discourse makes me extremely uncomfortable and tries to write it so it wont piss anyone off #also me: automatically regrets making it and feels sick thinking i should delete it for fear of pissing people off

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phosphorescent-naidheachd · 7 years

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_____ said:

on one level i will always enjoy watching a cool lady ride jon's face or w/e so i am not anti-dany getting some of the old King In The North. otoh - the whole epic meet cute destined thing is too grand for me. it's like an archetype? i prefer how rooted and grounded and layered jon/sansa is as a ship - everything has resonance and a kind of unexpected joy, like Persuasion, where neither person thought they could repair the past and find happiness and yet happiness is there for them. it's just more my jam. i hope jonsa shippers have enough to work with for fic purposes after the show ends

another thing - i wish dany could have a male family member who doesn't want to bang her, especially given that monster of a brother she had... jon is a wonderful family member. i wish they could have been that to each other

^^^

I’m not inherently against J0n3rys -- written as an epic ‘our fates were written in the stars long before our birth’ archetypical relationship or not -- as long as it’s executed in such a fashion that feels true to the characters and that resonates emotionally with me... but I highly doubt D&D are going to manage to do that. I have approximately 0.12% trust in them as writers/directors and that’s a generous estimate. Add in the fact that D&D have a fairly limited amount of screen time to build a J0n3rys relationship up from nothing, and the chances of D&D sacrificing true character/relationship development on the altar of expediency rise considerably... as do the chances for an increased amount of ‘telling’ rather than ‘showing’. Just my opinion, though.

GRRM isn’t perfect, but -- partially because of the medium, partially due to his own skills -- his writing of the J0n3rys relationship will doubtless be a lot more nuanced and believable when the characters finally meet in the books.

Actually, one thing that’s really neat about Jon’s relationship with Dany (and with Sansa, among a few other characters!) is all of the narrative parallels and contrasts drawn between their individual experiences. I recently read a piece that argued that GRRM isn’t just deconstructing fantasy tropes with ASOIAF, he’s also very much reconstructing them -- “not tearing the genre apart so much as reminding readers of why it was worth falling in love with in the first place” -- and that really struck me. I like to think that if J0n3rys does end up being endgame in the books, GRRM will use his particular “existential brand of romanticism” to make that archetype feel fresh and real and worthwhile.

Ughhh, I feel you there. Dany deserves kind, platonic, supportive family members. Like Jon, she’s always had a strong longing for a home and family and belonging, and Jon (and through him, perhaps some of the other Starks too) could really fill that role well under the right circumstances. Which isn’t to say that he couldn’t still fill that familial role in a romantic/sexual capacity, but it’s not quite the same thing, y’know? As you said, Dany has never really had someone love her who doesn’t want to bang her (maybe Missandei, but I always thought there was a faintly femslashy subtext between the two of them on the show), and I think it would be good for her to have that kind of relationship in her life.

My feelings re: show!J0n3rys are a lot more complicated than my feelings re: book!J0n3rys, mainly because my feelings re: show!Dany herself are very conflicted. I think most of the criticisms leveled at Dany by the fandom contain validity, but I also think that most of those criticisms are also strongly influenced by fandom’s sexism/misogyny and its attendant double standards. I think that Dany -- both in the books and on the show -- is a very complex character, and frankly I don’t think D&D really get that; I think they see her purely as The Once Underdog, Now Conquering Heroine(TM), and that the GOT narrative is going to reflect this sadly limited viewpoint.

I have a lot of sympathy for Dany’s position and understand why she acts as she does; her traumatic past and the culture(s) in which she was brought up have absolutely shaped who she is today: her fears, her desires, and her methods of achieving those desires. I would also argue that although show!Dany is pretty self-centered, she generally has good intentions. Nonetheless, I’ve become less and less a fan of show!Dany over the years. I have issues with some of the choices she’s made, with her frequent (albeit unintentional on her part) hypocrisy, and with the racist undertones both GRRM and D&D have (accidentally?) inserted into some of her major story arcs (indeed, to the point where I have a hard time mentally separating her from said arcs). If Dany undergoes further character growth that positively alters how she acts going forward, my feelings towards her may change again, but in the meantime… I don’t know. As I said: it’s complicated, and my thoughts about her sometimes even vary from episode to episode. (Heaven knows my thoughts & feelings re: Tyrion and Jaime often shift depending on the episode lol. But that’s a topic for another time.)

I don’t want to see Dany humiliated and humbled, the way many antis do, but I also don’t want to see her as she currently is on the Iron Throne, the way most stans do. I don’t believe she’s insane or currently in danger of becoming insane, as many antis think, nor do I believe that she’s an unusually cruel/terrible/[insert negative term here] ruler and warrior for the society in which she lives. However, none of this makes her inherently the best person to rule Westeros, either.

Although it isn’t entirely Dany’s fault, she knows almost nothing about Westeros -- past or present -- and what little she does know was understandably given to her through a pretty pro-Targaryen lens; this lack of understanding of facts -- and more crucially, of attitudes -- will serve her (and more importantly Westeros) very poorly if she ever becomes Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Yes, having Westerosi advisors can help, but only so much. The monarchy of Westeros doesn’t seem to have much in the way of checks and balances, after all, outside of ‘it’s probably not a good idea to offend any of the major Houses too badly and definitely not multiple Houses at the same time’. Dany is still relatively inexperienced at ruling and is certainly more than capable of learning and improving... the question is whether she’ll allow herself to. Especially now that she has the ultimate power in the form of fully-grown dragons, which makes it even more difficult and dangerous to question or challenge her actions than it would a dragonless monarch like Robert Baratheon.

(Although, since we’re mentioning Robert Baratheon... I get the sense that Dany, like Robert, much prefers the fighting and ceremonial parts of being monarch over the day-to-day administrative parts. YMMV.)

It’s my opinion that Dany has gotten increasingly good at convincing herself that her personal desires are actually selfless and/or inevitable, that her way is the Right Way, that too much compromise is weakness, and that an increased volume and degree of violence on her part is both justified and necessary. This is an excellent piece of meta on the subject; although it’s about book!Dany, it’s still by and large applicable to show!Dany too... in fact, I would argue that in many ways, it’s even more applicable to show!Dany. Dany isn’t the only “good” character in ASOIAF/GOT to harden herself to violence or to make some of these sorts of mistakes, of course -- Jon probably would have been an even bigger disaster if he’d somehow wound up as the ruler of Meereen, for instance -- but that doesn’t remove the validity of these criticisms towards her, either.

Actually, speaking of Jon and Dany, there’s one argument that antis make that really bugs me: that Jon was chosen by his people, while Dany chose herself; meritocratic monarchy vs. hereditary monarchy, if you will. It’s not entirely wrong, but it’s not the full story either. Davos falls prey to this same trap when talking to Dany on Dragonstone, in fact: "He's not King in the North because of his birthright, he has no birthright, he's a damn bastard. He's King in the North because those hard sons of bitches believe in him."

I mean, yes, Jon was chosen by his nobles to be their king, and they do believe in him, but you can’t act like his heredity didn’t play a significant role in that decision. If Jon hadn’t been the ostensible son of Ned Stark, do you really think all the nobles of the North would have called for him to be King, no matter how worthy he was or how much they believed in him? Just look at part of Lyanna Mormont’s speech, for crying out loud [italics my own]: “I don’t care if he’s a bastard. Ned Stark’s blood runs through his veins. He’s my king, from this day until his last day!” *rolls eyes* But I digress.

Moving on to address your comments on Jon/Sansa:

Unlike many J0nsa shippers here on tumblr, I don’t think J0nsa is ever going to be canon. Definitely not on the show, and probably not in the books either. And I’m mainly OK with that; that’s what fanfiction is for, after all. (Which isn’t to say I wouldn’t be delighted to be proved wrong re: canon lol.)

I’m very much a multi-shipper in GOT/ASOIAF, and my main fannish wish is that my favorite characters survive to the end of the series. Ideally, none of them irrevocably betray other characters I care about and they all survive and they’re all at least marginally happy, but that’s probably way too much to ask. As I said, I’ll take ‘alive’. Because as long as they’re still alive, a happier ending is still a possibility somewhere ‘off-screen’ after the series ends. Dead, on the other hand, is dead. Sure, I can create AU ‘so-and-so-lives’ headcanons, but I’m still acutely aware that they’re AUs, y’know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yessss, Persuasion is such a great comparison! There’s something very bittersweet and healing about that kind of ship. Shades of a shared past paired with hope for a better shared present and future. The gradual realization that it isn’t too late to find/create happiness. idk, I just have a lot of feelings about this dynamic.

#wow this turned into a MUCH longer answer than i'd meant for it to be #phos replies #3~~#4~~#5~~#GOT meta #daenerys targaryen #jon snow #jonerys #jonsa #meta #things done by phos #long post #GOT spoilers #well sort of but not really

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tenntucky · 6 years

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Business as usual.

Man meets woman...they fall in love...kids, white picket fences, all that good stuff. Psh.The truth about men and women is that we're both built on different platforms. A no-brainer, I know. One top of all of that we as people are all built on different platforms that pretty much make it seem as though no two people are gonna be alike. This is truth. When you finally get to the point in which you have gotten past all of the sorting and dating and you get to the comfortable point in which you are spending time with this "significant other", this is the time in which you begin to size each other up.

Our personal habits and choices of lifestyle usually differ from the other persons and it becomes quit the storm of conflicts. Now, not all relationships are gonna be full of these conflicts but most healthy relationships are gonna have some speedbumps and yes it is actually better to be in a situaltion in which you are with someone who is willing to voice their opinions about things. Not to say that its good to be with some judgemental person who constanly breaks you down like a lab rat but, someone who is honest and real enough to tell you like it truly is. And you yourself should be willing to show the same respect to them and try not to sugar coat your true feelings and opinions. Communication is the key to any successful relationship (and friendship of course). Just make sure that you yourself aren't the one breaking them down or being super judgemental. You're not perfect. None of us are. We're human.

We are and will forever be our own worst enemies. We know how to build ourselves up and break ourselves back down in the same moments. We know our darkest secrets and biggest fears. We know our dreams and goals. But the thing is that we're stuck with ourselves and we have to learn to get along with us. In a relationship setting, we have to learn to give up our selfish natures. Even though we might not be in a marriage situation, healthy relationships require sharing. You've gotta share your time, your feelings, your space. You've got to get it in your head that this isn't just about you and what you want, its about what the two of you need. And the sad thing is that if those needs aren't being met, then something has to give.

The things about relationship battles is that they are essential. None of us are perfect on our own, so why should the situations that we bring ourselves into be perfect situations. We have to realize that the other person is as imperfectly perfect as we are. Not to say that we have to settle but we kinda have to sometimes live like this person settled for you. Even though, good Lord willing, they didn't.

When two people come together as one, it's like going into business with one another. It's important that both parties openly bring what they have to the table. All the bad habits, insane rituals and pieces of their broken hearts. Once both parties realize what positivity they can bring into each other's lives, the negativity has a harder time of "bankrupting" the business. In many cases, their hearts can both turn a profit.

I'm no love guru so you don't have to believe me!

✌🏽🖤

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ianwillplaythepiano · 5 years

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Blog No. 3

Welcome back to the blog of a conflicted soul! This week, in part with hopes of keeping my philosophical rumination to a minimum, I have decided to apply my introspective energy to a different area of my life– . No doubt the logo would be familiar to most people, so familiar to a point where many (myself included) might read that symbol out loud as, “Apple”, without thinking. Apple-made technologies are an insanely integrated part of what we see around us every day, from kids standing around a bus-stop playing Pokémon Go on iPhone, students and businesspeople alike typing away on their MacBooks, to grandmas slowly but surely scrolling through their iPad to find just the right picture to share on their grandkid’s Facebook page, it’s almost impossible to walk though an American town without finding evidence of the tech giant’s footprint. For most, these devices are great tools for facilitating the logistics of daily life, but are only a means to an end. For me, Apple has been an invaluable source of personal growth, but also the impetus for a whole host of complicated social habits, tendencies, and debilitative emotions that I have yet to master control of. In two days from now, on April 17th, I will have worked as a technician for Apple’s Genius Bar for a full four years of my life! This week especially, so close to what we call my “Appleversary”, and also coinciding with the quarterly review I had last Friday, I’ve been thinking a whole lot about my experience so far, and how I feel and act while I’m at work…Since 2015, I’ve gone through one hell of a personal transformation. I hadn’t quite gotten out of my college dropout spiral yet, and was still pretty depressed and hopeless generally, but starting out at Apple encouraged feelings of significant excitement, responsibility and a confidence that I could do a great job. My self-talk began to become more positive and encouraging, reminding me that I was a capable and talented person, contrary to the internal commentary that was usually plagued by self-defeating overgeneralization and fallacious helplessness. Seeing that I could help people in a job, and help them effectively, allowed me to gain just enough momentum to work at developing facilitative emotions to help me out of my depression. However, as I had never held a “real job” apart from teaching piano lessons out of my house and selling chocolate at a local shop, I soon discovered that I didn’t have as many pieces of the puzzle together as I thought. As a genuinely empathetic person, or a least someone who enjoys helping and caring for others, all I thought I had to do at Apple was deliver what I considered was the best customer service I had to offer. I believed I had a high enough level of emotional intelligence– an ability to read people and their moods, to lift people to the same level of optimism as me by coming to their level first– to get by and succeed on talent alone. I honestly thought that they had hired me specifically to interact with customers that way. Back when I was a customer, I’d been on the receiving end of multiple above-and-beyond experiences at Apple stores, and so had it in my head when I got hired that my priorities were not only aligned with everyone else, but the expectation. I was focused on the people in front of face, and not nearly aware enough of what the business actually expected of me. I thought that if a customer was unhappy, the best way to care for them was to spend time making them feel better, and campaign on their behalf, even if it meant asking managers for regular exceptions to preserve the experience. What I came to understand over time, all too slowly, is that I had a subpar understanding of how exactly to have every interaction be good enough to say we did what was expected of us, even if there are still some customers who may have gotten much less than they really needed. At the time I wasn’t aware of it, but there is a dramatic amount of emotional labor required to perform my role effectively. I need to be able to assume a role that conveys not only that I care for the priorities of the customer, but that I genuinely represent the priorities of Apple. Taking my own emotions out of the equation, not just my opinions, but the anxieties about my own behavior that might affect my behavior. Also, part of the hardest and most stressful aspect of my job is the emotional contagion that happens all the time. If I come into work with extra self-doubt and perform poorly, which is noticed and reacted to by my team members (or vice versa), it’s possible for that negativity to build up and cause actual issues. This is a reality so much that we sometimes call our repair room “toxic” when emotions build off of each other enough. There are so, so many moving parts at Apple, an internal social landscape that changes all the time, and there is a consumer demand that is so constant that the things to know and get better at are endless. As a new and inexperienced member of the workforce (and as somebody already prone to debilitative self-talk), when I originally realized there was fallibility in the renewed confidence and positive self-concept I had developed over a year or so working there, it was a setback. I thought that I’d finally gotten over most of my depression, and could allow myself to feel excited about my life again. But after three years of working for Apple, while admittedly there is still stress anxiety there because of my belief that I should be able to perform perfectly, just as well as the best of those around me, I know how I need to approach work to do the best I can. Now at least, I realize how much of an impact my own self-talk has on how I perform...how much what I put in is what I get out. My hopes for now, and into the future, are to more consciously than ever manage my self-talk and practice getting out of my own way- turning my historically debilitative- into facilitative-emotions.

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prosperopedia · 5 years

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The Dangers of Being a Rich and Famous Celebrity

Prosperity Doesn’t Mean Celebrity

You might think it strange that I’m discussing the dangers of being rich and famous on a website that is centered on how to become prosperous. Although having money and being financially secure is certainly a core element of prosperity, I think there is a clear difference between the comfortable prosperity that comes from working hard and being responsible and seeking after celebrity-type fame and fortune.

Dr Orville Gilbert Brim

These millions of people who are so strongly motivated for fame are obviously different from the rest of the population. And what has happened is the fame motive has come out of the basic human need for acceptance and approval and when this need is not fulfilled because of rejection by parents, or adolescent peer groups, or others, a basic insecurity develops and emerges as the fame motive.

Well, it turns out that fame is not the answer for the need for love and acceptance. The desire is never fulfilled. The search for fame remains, driven by that basic need.

Is It Good to Aspire to Be Rich and Famous?

For the past several years, my daughter (an accomplished young violin and viola player who also likes to sing and dance) has been told repeatedly by people after the watch her, “Oh, you’re going to be just like Lindsey Stirling.” For those who don’t know, Stirling is fellow Latter-day Saint girl who has made it big as a singing, dancing violinist. Her YouTube channel now has over 11 million subscribers, and her videos have been viewed 2.5 billion times.

Estimates of Stirling’s net worth are in the $15M or more range. It seems she has everything, looks, fame, a ready-made fortune, EVERYTHING.

Why wouldn’t a dad like me want his daughter to grow up to be like someone so accomplished, so successful?

There are lots of reasons.

My conversations about that topic with my daughter, whose social, emotional, and physical welfare are some of my top priorities, used to go like this.

Me: “Actually, you don’t want to be like Lindsey Stirling.”

Her: “Why do you say that, Dad?”

Me: “Well, tell me how she’s ever going to have a normal marriage to someone who loves her for who she is rather than for her celebrity. How can she ever have a normal life, time off from worrying about thumbs down votes and negative comments on her YouTube videos? How difficult is it for her to feel satisfied about who she is? How much focus does she have on what should give her ultimate value, her identity as a daughter of good parents and ultimately as a daughter of God?”

Her: “That’s true. I wonder why people tend to make that comparison so often.”

In fact, in the past I’ve talked many times with my daughter about creating a YouTube channel that would allow her to share her own unique talents, even one that she could use to teach others the Suzuki method that’s been used to train her along with other skills she has on the violin. I’ve just not been able to bring myself to do it…yet, and I likely won’t until I can figure out a proven way to help her keep perspective on life while gaining popularity, an audience that could potentially change her motivations.

Obtaining celebrity status usually tends to come at the expense of a person’s ultimate core values, many of which must be sacrificed in favor of what a group of not very discerning people has determined to be the best way to create a shock effect, and political correctness, and an increasingly anti-Christian public opinion. The virtues, morals, and religious convictions, the traditional understanding of family that too frequently must be dropped at the door to Hollywood and other centers of celebrity incubation are the very things that the bulk of the population uses to provide stability. The process of becoming rich and famous, especially when it’s entered into purposefully by someone from a commoner background, naturally undermines the mental and emotional health of that person.

In our media-rich world where certain people’s lives tend to be more interesting than the normal day-to-days experienced among those of us who comprise the general masses of simply regular folks, instant fame and wealth often become the objective of almost anyone who thinks they can look at least halfway attractive (or peculiar anyhow) in a selfie posted to the social media crowd using an Instagram filter. But being rich and famous (especially in that combination, being rich on its own is much more manageable) is not really as much of a worthwhile pursuit as television makes it seem.

Motivations for Celebrities to Become Famous

An interview done by the University of Michigan with Dr. Orville Gilbert Brim, author of a book called Look at Me!: The Fame Motive from Childhood to Death uncovers some of the primary motivations people have for becoming famous. Dr. Brim makes this statement:

Well, it turns out that fame is not the answer for the need for love and acceptance. The desire is never fulfilled. The search for fame remains, driven by that basic need.

This summary of the motivations most celebrities tend to have for becoming famous suggests that they have an insatiable appetite for being noticed. No matter how many doting fans, no matter how their salary, no matter how many likes, shares, retweets they receive, they can never be satisfied.

This may explain why celebrities tend to be so susceptible to trends and fads.

A Different Expectation for Celebrities

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Coincidentally, Brad Paisley, himself a country musician celebrity (one of the few celebrity groups that seems to be down to earth despite their fame) wrote a song about celebrities called, fittingly, “Celebrity”. His song’s indictment of the celebrity culture includes these lyrics.

‘Cause when you’re a celebrity It’s adios reality You can act just like a fool People think you’re cool Just ’cause you’re on TV I can throw a major fit When my latte isn’t just how I like it When they say I’ve gone insane I’ll blame it on the fame And the pressures that go with Being a celebrity

The general population seems to expect celebrities to act like spoiled children, absent the maturity we would expect from leaders for whom respect is demanded as part of their position of trust, including those who have set the standards of respectable culture that makes a society livable. In the past, conduct standards have been demanded of governmental, military, civic, educational, and religious leaders, but the modern celebrity culture that has developed even among segments of those groups.

This lack of social and emotional maturity coupled with narcissism and selfishness often makes it impossible for celebrities to have meaningful marriage relationships. The term “Hollywood marriage” has long been used as a pejorative for short-lived marriages among celebrity couples. A study by the UK based Marriage Foundation found that while the overall divorce rate in the UK over the first 14 years of a marriage is 25%, among A-list celebrities it is twice that amount, 50%.

The Vortex of Popular Culture

The traditional family and religious values that fostered a healthy society on in the early and mid-1900s have taken a beating by the trends of popular culture, especially since the 1960s.

Wikipedia’s list of celebrities who have taken their own lives in this century alone, many of whom appeared to be living enviable lives and even feigned happiness in public settings previous to their suicides, is replete with names of people whose deaths shocked the society that revered them, never anticipating that they were depressed and unhappy enough to give up on life. Society has for too long mistaken fame and fortune with happiness.

In addition to the list of celebrities who have taken their own lives is an even longer list of celebrities who have issues with substance abuse. In her article Are Celebrities More Prone to Addiction?, Kristen McGuiness quotes Dr. Scott Teitelbaum a psychiatrist at the University of Florida who deals with substance abuse. Regarding substance abuse among the famous, Dr. Teitelbaum concludes, “People with addiction and people with narcissism both seek outside sources for inside happiness. And ultimately neither the fame nor the drugs nor the drinking will work.” He points a loss of their sense of humility as being a significant factor.

Anyone who becomes a celebrity, especially in the music, acting, and other entertainment industries, runs the risk of being sucked into what I commonly refer to as the “vortex of popular culture”, which cares nothing about their background and belief system. Instead, the primary motivation of those who control popular culture is to find the next way to push the envelope, to be more sexy, more stimulating, to find the next, more shocking way to attack the world’s sense of propriety.

Losing Their Religion

One of the causes of severe depression among celebrities is a detachment from their religion and the values associated with a spiritual-based moral code. Studies like that done by The American Journal of Psychiatry show that increased religiosity can be a a deterrent from suicide. Other studies have come to similar conclusions.

Celebrities, including in the United States, have tended towards dismissing conservative upbringings in favor of replacing their value systems with liberal, often anti-religious views. Those views most often conflict with traditional standards for family, sexual expression, and habits that have been known to induce overall happiness and well-being.

The celebrity culture over the past 40 years has increasingly focused on doing away with Christian standards of morality and replacing them with pleasure seeking.

Examples of Celebrities Who’ve Sold Out for Fame

There is a long list of well-known people who could fall into the category of people who have put the pursuit of fame at the top of their priority list. In many cases, these people are super talented, and would deserve to be recognized for those talents in one form or another. However, these are a few that I’ve noted recently in discussions with my wife and kids.

Katy Perry: This entertainer grew up a daughter of Pentecostal pastors singing gospel music, but has long since left behind whatever teachings about chastity and Christian morality in favor of becoming an advocate for homosexuality and general sexual permissiveness.

Taylor Swift: My wife and I used to listen to Taylor Swift songs all the time a decade or so ago. Then she went from being an innocent (seeming) country girl to making songs that repeatedly use the Lord’s name in vain and that are full of sexual themes.

Swift’s fall from grace is the subject of an article entitled Taylor Swift’s False Reputation written by Marilette Sanchez of Think Christian magazine.

Dan Reynolds: The lead singer of most recognizable member of Imagine Dragons says that he belongs to my own religion, even having served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, despite the faithfulness of large family, led by him mom, Reynolds has clearly lost his way. Many of his songs are clearly about how torn he is between the life he grew up living, including developing musical skills as a religious young man.

The lyrics of his recent popular hit, Bullet in a Gun, captures the essence of this entire article, including in these few lines.

To make a name, you pay the price You give your life, no other way The devil’s deal, it comes around To wear the crown, rise up from the ground

How many voices go unheard? How many lessons never learned? How many artists fear the light Fear the pain, go insane? Lose the mind, lose the self (You only care about fame and wealth) Sellout, sellout, sellout

The lyrics is of this and several of Reynolds’ other songs tell a story of a man who is truly conflicted, not able to figure out how to serve two very different masters.

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Dolly Parton: Although I’ve always known this woman to be a bit edgy, I remember her as a symbol of Christmas in the country. Coming from a humble family of 12 in the Great Smoky Mountains of Tennessee, she used to seem like a family-centered woman. Now, in her 70s, she has clearly left behind the values she was raised with and has become an advocate of causes that are clearly anti-family and certainly not Christian.

Who Has Survived Celebrity Status?

On the positive side, there are people who appear to have survived the celebrity culture so far. Two names come to mind immediately, though there are certainly others who have dealt well with the wealth and attention that they’ve received.

Tim Tebow: As a Florida State football fan, it could be hard to like a former Florida Gator quarterback. However, Tebow is a man whose conviction is impressive, a guy who isn’t shy about his commitment to his religious upbringing, even when he is mocked for publicly stating that he’s putting off sex until he’s married.

Bryce Harper: Harper is a committed Latter-day Saint, a member of my own church whose experiences with fame and fortune appear to not have tainted him. He routinely shares things about his religious beliefs on his social media profile, and seems to be living his religion despite pressures in the world he lives to do otherwise.

Hugh Jackman: I couldn’t just list athletes here (although I just realized the good list is made of of only men; feel free to share a female suggestion if you know of one). Hugh Jackman was raised a Christian, and he has apparently maintained his religion, his marriage, his commitment to being genuinely charitable (as opposed to the “charitable giving” marketing ploys common among celebrities), and his down to earth mentality.

Should a Young Musician Aspire to Be Like Lindsey Stirling?

Lindsey Stirling has historically made public commitments to values that include modesty, chastity, and other Christian ideals. But the influence of popularity and those who are waiting on the other side of popularity to guide celebrities to their next levels of success can be difficult to suppress.

I noticed recently that Stirling published at least two videos that depart from her commitment to being family friendly and inspiring, even if they don’t go nearly to the extent that other formerly clean artists turned wild have gone.

In response to some pushback from her fan base who also observed that she’s straying, Stirling wrote this comment:

Just because I look pretty and dare I say, sexy in a video doesn’t mean that I am a “wannabe” “Barbie” “pop star” that has lost her sense of value. I draw the lines that I think are appropriate for me and it is up to you to draw the lines that are appropriate for you.

Those seem like defensive words from someone who has been called out by the part of her fan base that is recognizing that she may very well be following the same path that stars like Katy Perry and Taylor Swift have gone over the past decade. If I had advice for Lindsey Stirling (and I do), I’d say to heed those warnings, even though many of them come across as judgmental and critical of her.

My wife and I actually have on our family bucket list a pipe dream of creating a bluegrass band with our kids and travelling the country (possibly the world) performing for fun. If there comes a time when the band attains any degree of popularity (which is the objective of most performing groups), we plan to have social guard bands in place to prevent any of our kids’ feet from leaving the ground.

For my own daughter specifically, instead of even trying to be like Lindsey Stirling, my recommendation has always been not to seek after accolades that would compromise the values she’s being taught in her home, values that will make her ultimately happy and prosperous.

The post The Dangers of Being a Rich and Famous Celebrity appeared first on The Handbook for Happiness, and Success, and Prosperity Prosperopedia.

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#Prosperity #Wealth #Riches

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