#even tho... yknow... he aint a septon...

[zeroconnectionn]

ok but can u imagine davos marrying jaime and brienne during the war like what barbosa did for will and liz in POTC...

concept:

starts off with braime cutting down white walkers with twin swords, parrying blows, covering each other's flanks

jaime realising that he might not get the chance after this so he reaches for brienne, proposes to her out of the blue, and waits for her to say yes before shouting at davos in the distance "davos! marry us!"

brienne is bewildered at first, calling him mad but goes along with it (they never got the timing right, did they?)

davos going all barbosa "I'M A LITTLE BUSY AT THE MOMENT" but officiates anyway in between walker killing

he totally butchers the ceremony rules... which is reasonable, given the circumstances

davos starts out with "Cloak the bride! [stab stab] Bring her under your protection!"

jaime and brienne exchange looks, realising they only have their currently equipped winterfell cloaks and will need them to fight and survive in this cold. no fuckin way are they gonna take it off

brienne hastily tells jaime "fuck the cloaks" while fighting, to which jamie looks at her with both amusement and shock on his face (like that time she said fuck loyalty lmaoo), he repeats it loudly for davos to hear. "the lady says fuck the cloaks! skip to the vows, ser davos!"

davos chuckles and quickly continues "My lords, my ladies!" he kicks a walker away from him "we stand here in the sight of gods and men to witness the union of man and wife!" jams his sword through the walker's skull and pulls it out "One flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever!" glances at them "Er, do you have rope?"

brienne panics until jaime tugs at her scabbard belt, pulling her to him and loops the dangling end of the belt around their (non-sword wielding) hands loosely. it's uncomfortable and very impractical in battle but they manage killing walkers while holding hands just fine

davos nods and continues, a little breathless "in the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity!"

jaime and brienne look at each other, exhange smiles, and let the belt loop fall off their hands but they don't let go. they fight while saying the following in unison "Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger" taking down a walker with every word

jaime let goes of her hand to pick up a dragonglass spear "I am hers and she is mine!" throws it at the walker behind them "From this day until the end of my days," turns around to fondly look at her

brienne runs towards him screaming w arms raised and oathkeeper in the air, jaime's expression changes and quickly ducks in time for brienne to slice a walker behind him in half, all the while brienne shouts "I am his and he is mine! From this day, until the end of my days."

Jaime grabs her and spins her into his arms, both breathing heavily, swords lowered, Heightened Sexual Tension. he leans in to kiss her but stops when he notices walkers closing in on them. jaime spins her out and they kill the walkers together, laughing and grunting all the way

after a while, they finally find a moment to turn back and look at each other, arm clasping arm, emerald eyes meeting sapphire ones. seizing the moment, jaime announces "And with this kiss, I pledge my love..." but before he can really finish, brienne grabs him by the neck and pulls him in for The Best Kiss In His Life. they make out for like a solid minute, expressing everything they've ever wanted to in one searing kiss

davos takes care of the stragglers coming towards them, probably smiling with some tears in his eyes

bonus: gendry, who was fighting beside them this whole time, accidental witness of their marriage, turns to davos grinning and goes "can you do me and arya next?"