#even though years later during another manic episode (actual mania this time not hypomania) i was hospitalized | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

invisibleoctopus · 2 years

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one thing that always bothers me about gatekeepers/fakeclaimers who are like "we're just making sure people who ACTUALLY have these problems get help we only accept REAL mentally ill people" is that this kind of shit turns away ppl who are questioning and need help with whatever Thing they have going on and it in fact hurts "the REAL not-fakers who ACTUALLY have this mental illness/neurodivergence" who might be discouraged from accessing help because theyre the type of mentally ill that gets terrified of being labeled a faker just for simply being wrong about which mental illness they have

#le p2iigh #this is about me denying being a system for years even though real google searches i made might as well go on systemgooglesearches #if the last part seems oddly specific YES its happened to me before!!!!!#like this shit affects how doctors treat u irl because this was in 2016 when i was hypomanic + actively being traumatized #so naturally not bothering to check whether i had bipolar i went to bpd #bc thats why i thought i was being 'overemotional' and 'overreacting' and generally just dramatic #everyone called me extra but what the fuck do you expect when im responding to being emotionally + psychologically ABUSED #also yes this is when i named myself edge #so anyway all this made me think i had bpd so i said as much one day and my abuser stepmom ratted me out to the therapist #who instead of maybe like. evaluating me for bpd or other personality/mood disorders just basically scolded me #idk what she said that got him completely on her side and basically going along with the abuse (because its the socially acceptable kind)#but yeah thats when i was accused of being a faker by a state mandated therapist and my entire family at the time #even though years later during another manic episode (actual mania this time not hypomania) i was hospitalized #and because i was being a 'difficult patient' they sent me home with pamphlets on how to deal with bpd along with the bipolar ones #SO WHICH FUCKING ONE IS IT. I GET PUNISHED WHEN I SAY I HAVE IT AND I GET PUNISHED WHEN I DONT SAY I HAVE IT

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