#every so often i'm confronted with the knowledge that the adults in my childhood hung my self-worth on my intelligence for me
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New mantras: "My intelligence is not based on people's (perceived) assumptions of my knowledge." And "I have value beyond my intellect."
#screaming into the void#every so often i'm confronted with the knowledge that the adults in my childhood hung my self-worth on my intelligence for me#i was taught that i was naturally smart and given very little to no support beyond#empty encouraging statements and urges to try harder#which has led to an ongoing identity crisis because i'm not actually the hyper intelligent person i was promised id be#learning has become scary because im a failure and a disappointment if its not easy or if i cant 'prove' i know a thing#i wasnt supported beyond being called smart so now i dont know how to support myself in learning#and not feeling smart is inherently triggering#messy thoughts#im struggling to maintian a line of thought just ignore me
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