#evil feedback loop... what if we both make each other happy... that's fucked up....

[sunnydayaoe]

fresh voice. why is you being happy something that make smehappy. stop thjat. evil. qhichcraft. evil spell you've cast. make it stop.

honestly this is the whole basis of my fresh n cb story . its npd all the way down

[eldritchsurveys]

951.

5k Survey XLIX

2501. what image, scent, memory, etc. would you take with you into the dark/light, the land of dead, heaven, infinity.....? >> I’m not sure how to answer this. 2502. Who is the most annoying musical artist EVER? >> --- 2503. If you HAD to go to one of the following concerts, which would it be: Snow Vanilla Ice NKOTB Milli Vanilli BSB NSYNC >> No, thank you. 2504. Do you believe in manifest destiny? >> Just that very question insults me, lmao. Sorry, no, I’m not an arrogant imperialist who labours under the delusion that every piece of land I happen to set foot on belongs to me. 2505. Have you ever fallen for an email forwarding hoax (send this to 13 people and old navy will send you a $200.00(100 pound) gift card)? Do you ever think 'well, maybe...' and actually forward those damn things? >> I have not.

2506. Let's say there are 2 schools. one for boys and one for girls. They are both supposed to offer the same facilities so that the girls and boys get equal education. Would you take this to mean that the same courses should be offered to both girls and boys or that the same amount of money should be spent on each school? >> Why are the schools segregated in the first place? That doesn’t make any sense to me and it never did. Imagine that in the boys school fifteen boys sign up for calculus. In the girls school only five girls sign up for calculus. Should the girls calculus class be disolved and replaced with an easir one? >> Of course not. Why deprive those five girls of the class they want to take, just because there’s only five of them? Also, there’s... there’s a lot to unpack about this entire scenario and the implicit sexism involved but I think I’d rather just throw the whole damn suitcase away. Next. 2507. Would it bother you if you found out that the fruits, vegetables, and meat that you eat is genetically altered (in lots of cases it is!)? >> Of course much of the food I eat has been genetically altered in some way, either by centuries of selective breeding or perhaps by some newfangled modern practice. I don’t see why this should automatically disturb me. What does disturb me is corporations like Monsanto blatantly using this power for evil. 2508. What does this world need? >> --- 2509. Is there anything you do just because you want to even though it has no redeeming social value? >> It’d be fucked up for me to measure everything I do by its perceived “social value”. What does that even mean, anyway?  2510. If you drink what kind of drunk are you? >> I don’t drink enough to get drunk anymore, so I can’t really say. I’m probably just a sleepy, lazy drunk at this point. 2511, Do you ever 'convieniently' forget something you don't want to remember? >> I don’t think my brain works that way. 2512. If you have any cousins are you close? >> --- 2513. Are you in love with yourself (your beautiful self)? >> I am not in love with myself. That seems like an odd relationship for me to have with myself. 2514. What was the first movie you got on dvd? >> --- 2515. If you're sexy and you know it clap your hands. Did you clap? >> I did not clap, because like... why. 2516. have you ever called a: psychic hotline? suicide crisis line? sex line? dating line? >> I’ve called none of these. 2517. have you ever placed a personal ad anywhere? >> Maybe on Craigslist once. 2518. Do guys look good in make up? >> I don’t care about how people look in make-up, I care about whether they enjoy wearing makeup and whether it makes them feel good. If that’s true, then I love it. 2519. What are 5 things you don't care about? >> I can’t think of anything right now. Probably because the fact that I don’t care about something means I don’t think about it... 2520. wHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO UNTIL YOU DIE? >> Why is this in caps? I’m assuming it’s a capslock error, but like... why wasn’t it fixed, lol. 2521. What 'issue' do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view? >> I don’t do that. 2522. What age do you hope to live until? >> I don’t have a specific age in mind. I just want to live to the point where I feel like death isn’t an intrusion on my living -- where it makes sense to die. 2523. Do you like to tie others down during sex? Have you ever been tied down? >> I’ve never done either, but I’m sure it’d be fun with the right person, if having sex with an outworld person was ever a thing I was going to do again. 2524. Do you own any "toys"? Do you ever use them? >> No. 2525. Have you ever been spanked in that sexy way? Have you ever spanked anyone else? >> I was spanked at at least one play party, but I didn’t particularly enjoy it. It’s not really my thing, although I’m sure spanking someone else would be way more fun. Haven’t done it yet, though. 2526. Do these questions make you uncomfortable? Do you like that feeling? Does it turn you on? >> It never occurred to me to feel uncomfortable, no. 2527. You know those ___ for dummies books (COMPTERS FOR DUMMIES, SURFING FOR DUMMIES, GOLDF FOR DUMMIES, WICCA FOR DUMMIES)? Which one do you need to reaad? >> I do know those books. I don’t know which one I’d read, though. 2528. What do your socks look like? >> I’m not wearing socks. 2529. Which of these really famous music artists started their career as a mime: Alice Cooper David Bowie Bruce Springsteen Moby Jewel Frank Zappa >> I’m sure I’d find out if I googled it, but I don’t care to. 2530. Does love float away if you let go? >> What does this even mean... 2531. Do you think that most people in today's society are: kind? calm? humble? peaceful? helpful? happy? spiritual? creative? friendly? independant? intelligent? having fun? comming up with new ideas? able to think for themselves? able to really connect with others? If you answered no to any of the above, why do you think that is? >> Why am I generalising about “most people”? That seems like a silly thing to do. 2532. Do you believe that every action has a sexual motive (think Freud)? >> No. Pretty sure that theory of his was debunked anyway, because it just doesn’t make any real sense. 2533. Speaking of Freud, did you know he was on drugs (think cocaine)? >> I was vaguely aware. I mean, a lot of people have taken and do take drugs, big deal. 2534. Do you trust psychology as a valid science? >> I acknowledge that it’s a science. However, I also harbour a lot of skepticism about some of the stuff that is either explicitly or implicitly stated in many psychological theories, and I am particularly skeptical about how psychological theories are applied to actual interactions with and diagnoses of clients. 2535. ID: In Freudian theory, the division of the psyche that is totally unconscious and serves as the source of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate satisfaction of primitive needs(sex, food, agressive behavior, drugs, alcohol, yelling, anger, fighting). SUPEREGO: In Freudian theory, the division of the unconscious that is formed through the internalization of moral standards of parents and society, and that censors and restrains the ego. So, which one do you express more, your ID or your SUPEREGO? >> The superego. I mean, you really don’t get very far by just letting your id run wild.  2536. Do you think that people who are alone and depressed are depressed because they are alone or alone because they are depressed? >> I think it’s a feedback loop.  2537. Can you complete any of the following lyrics: I stop and I stare too much, afraid that I care too much... You're a new and better man, he helps youtounderstand,He does everything he can, he's.... Took the needles from my arms and put them to the sky... Top Gun shut down your Firm like Tom Cruise.... Don't you take it so hard now, And please don't take it so bad.... I’ll still be thinking of you, and the times we had. That’s the only one in this list I know. 2538. How about these? From around the way, born in '73, Harcore B-boy named... And this feeling shivers down your spine, Love comes in colors I can't deny.... Before he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, stopped, and replied.... When I want you in my arms, when I want you and all your charms, whenever I want you all I have to do is... Silly games that you were playing, empty words we both were saying... 2539. Have you ever been to see a ballet? >> I haven’t, but I’d like to. 2540. What is the differance between Satan and Pan? >> They’re from completely different mythologies, for one, despite the fact that they often get conflated. 2541. What should a poem be or do if it is a sucessful poem? >> There’s no such thing as a “successful” poem, to me. That’s an odd way to think of poetry. A poem is a poem if it’s written down as such, and that’s it. 2542. When you interpret a poem can each line mean anything you want it to? >> Well, sure, isn’t that what happens when you read something? You interpret it through your own lens. That’s unavoidable. 2543. Are you an orgasm addict? >> Er, no. 2544. Are you a sugar junkie? >> No. 2545. WHAT are you DOING? WHY aren't you marching in line with the rest of them? >> --- 2546. Do you only hear what you want to? >> I mean, I just hear whatever my brain interprets sound waves as. 2547. Are you anal-retentive? >> Er, no? 2548. In and Out Over and Under Around and ??? >> ?????? 2549. What was the last thing you returned to the store? >> I haven’t returned anything to the store in years. 2550. Why ask why? >> Because?

[randomguyontheinternets]

Genesis

Our story begins with these two people. Dan and Val. They’re in a pub. Playing board games. There are other people there too. Scattered around the place, but at the table as well, participating in the game. One might even call them friends. But they don’t matter. Not for the purpose of this story. This time, its just him and her. Center of the fucking Cosmos. There is nothing else existing in the world. Nothing worth your attention, at least. And they play. They laugh. They enjoy themselves. If you look up you can see them, these two celestial bodies having a dance of life and death in the heavens. The world shakes with his laugh, the darkness smiles with her smug glare. The tension is building. You can feel the Big Bang slowly encroaching to fuck up the natural order. To give birth to a new universe, something beyond the grasp of the mere simple things that could feebly say they inhabited the same universe as these two Gods. These two, seemingly uninteresting specimens to the stupid and ignorant eye, but oh so much more in the eyes of the initiated, were about to be the forebears of the new world. The Father and the Mother of the incoming universe, with marvels beyond the realm of what was comprehensible before, coming to life unbeknownst to the masses. This is the story of how their novel, pristine piece of the ever biggening realm of all there is, the cosmos build by them and for them, came to be.

It all started with a tear. Because even Gods cry. They are not perfect. And that is what makes them Gods. They can be above and beyond all of you, while still having imperfections and flaws that they work on. And work they do. A god doesn’t stay too much in one place. Always improving. Always being better. But alas. Val shed a tear. She lost a game. You might think to yourself who cries for not winning a board game. But it’s not just not winning, it’s losing, being defeated, broken down. Getting mad. Having a psyche breakdown. The answer is its not just the one game that was bothering her. The game’s little more than the straw that broke the camels back, so to say. To understand how her psyche fell apart in that moment, we must understand what her cornerstone is. The piece most important to her personality. The value of an individual. The society with its twist and turns made her look at that more than anything else. You are nothing if not valuable, she might say. And that’s what was happening in that moment. Being put in the face of defeat, even a small and unimportant one, she got reminded she is weak. Which means without worth, in her eyes. Because she was wondering that, looking up all the greatness in people, conveniently ignoring the bad in them, but not ignoring a single thing that was bad in her, being more than harsh with herself, she was wondering about her own value and time and time again concluded she had none. None! Imagine that. A God! Thinking she has no value?! She even feel prey to the weaknesses that come in moments like that. You get reminded you are worthless because of a piece of shit random game. Then you look at yourself, raging, crying, losing your temper for a game. And then you ask how can you be so weak, react so bad for a pointless little thing. Maybe you truly are worthless. Maybe you truly are a piece of shit that nobody wants that fails and loses cool for nothing. You know, the feedback loop. You get reminded you are shit, you feel sorry, angry, resentment for yourself and lose it, and then you feel even more shit because you lost it and felt sorry and angry at yourself. Which leads to you feeling even more shit. Until you spiral out of control. Shit. Nothing more false. You think about the effects and let them spiral out of control, instead of thinking about the causes. And those are the feelings of not being good enough, of not having enough worth. Before you start judging you’re shit, you must take a good look in the mirror, and think about why you think that. Think about the goals you set for yourself, about the people you looked up to. Its really weak and disgraceful to ignore your value, to ignore what is good about you. You are not weak. You don’t want to be weak. So stop acting like it. Because value and worth is about potential as well. Beyond whats good and whats bad about you right know, there is whats to come. You will get progressively less bad and progressively more good. You’re not perfect? You have flaws? Big fucking whoop. Toughen up. Be more! Be fucking worth it! The only person that’s stopping you from being more, is fucking you! 

And Dan knew that. He couldn’t just sit there and take that. A God? A bloody effing God feeling like that? Like she is not worth it and being sorry and angry at herself? No, no, no, mister. He was ready to show her how fucking amazing she is, show her the strength he knew she had, show her how to truly be a God. A Goddess. The Goddess.

So he went next to her, took her to one side, and started to lay it on her. ‘Don’t go crying for yourself like a naive little one. Like a child. Strengthen the FUCK UP! You think you’re worthless? You think you have no value? Imagine somebody else telling you that. Sitting right in front of you. Look at me. Look. At. Me. Wipe those shitty tears. Look me in the eyes properly. You have NO value. You are WORTHLESS. You are a good for nothing piece of junk that nobody is truly attracted to or wants to be with for more than a short while. All they want is to fuck you. To give you enough attention so that you start attaching to them, doing your rightful job at pleasing them and after they are done with you, throw you away like the fucking filth that you are. You are NOTHING and you will BE NOTHING. Now fucking PUNCH me in the face. Hit me as HARD as you can. Tell me I’m a fucking moron. Tell me none of that is true. NONE. Tell me you are so much more than that, that you have more value than anyone I’ve ever seen, and that you’ve just yet to accomplish it. But by God almighty you will fucking do it. Tell me you are amazing and you WILL be even more amazing. Punch me in the face with all the hate you are capable of summoning from within you and tell me you are a fucking princess, that you ARE going to find your charming prince that IS going to love you more than anything, who is gonna make you feel LOVED and HAPPY and fucking APPRECIATED, who is strong and smart, and is gonna give you all the attention in the fucking cosmos without being a shitty little clingy bitch. Tell me you ARE gonna get all that, and that all that’s left is for the goddamn fucker to bloody show up. And that you have faith he is gonna show up. Even if he doesn’t show up, you go and get him out of his hole and MAKE the fucker show up. Tell me you are a Goddess and that deities don’t feel sorry for themselves, that they strengthen up and solve their bloody problems. And punch me once more in the face for good measure. This time with passion. With hate. Imagine I’m all that’s holding you back, all that’s mocking you and keeping you from being the BOSS, from achieving all that you desire. And then punch me and banish me in the hell I’ve came from, accepting your new fate, your new found power to beat the living hell out of anything and EVERYTHING that stands in your way and keeps you from reaching greatness. Now chin up. Keep your head up high. And. Fucking. Punch. Me.’

*Punch* *Another punch* *A flurry of punches.* All the hate and pain and suffering, you could see them floating up in the air, going away, floating up slowly into nothingness. While down there the punches kept going. The pain, the despair than once was, you could see it flying through the air. Or maybe it was just the blood.

The flurry stops. Dan. Face red. Left eye twitching. Smiling. Bloody smiling. A patch of blood was going down one of his nostrils, reaching the tip of his lip. Although beaten up, he seemed happy. He seemed fulfilled. ‘Have you finally come to your senses? Are you ready to take your rightful place in the fucking world?’ said Dan, while the smug smile on his face wasn’t showing any sign of going away.

Val is panting. Her face brightens up. But is still angry. A happy, evil, smug complexion. ‘I am a fucking GODDESS! All you bloody weaklings bow before me!’

‘That’s more like it! Now, your highness, let’s go back to the game, shall we?’ said Dan. And then, not a split second later, he said: ‘But first..’ and gently but quickly gets closer to her, looks deep into her eyes with a crazy gaze, almost matching her crazy, like trying to say `That’s the bloody woman I fell in love with. I knew you could do it you crazy, insane, fucking star`. They look at one another for just one breath, a short moment, but in that very brief moment whole universes felt like they could come and go from existence, get born, live, prosper, and die off, each star slowly turning soft and disappearing forever from the night sky, until there is only black left, nothingness; all in a moment; an infinite number of times. Eons passed in that instant, and the two Gods, one facing the other, felt like they knew each other for a lifetime. And is in this moment, kids, that it happened. The Big Bang. They kissed. They could feel everything unravel around them, twist and turn and morph and switch and bend and burn. Suddenly they were in another place. Everything looked the same. But everything felt different. This was a new universe, a new Cosmos. Built just for them. By them. They were the Alpha and the Omega. The begging, and the end. The center and the frontier. With both their hearts pounding in rhythm, almost with the same singular beat, there was nothing more important in that very moment than one another. It was then, when they felt one. They felt like they finally found each other, like nothing could stand between them and in front of them, like they could squash anything and everything that tried to stop them, and conquer the world. Like the whole universe was theirs.

‘Now what?’ said Val. ‘Do we just..go back? I don’t want to go back to them. All I want to do is..’ *smiles, her face lights up, her eyebrows lift, her pupils widen*. You could feel the happiness glowing around her. Like an aura. Dan felt it and could barely contain himself. He was happy. Her happiness, it was his happiness. Her smile, was his smile. He was holding in his hands this amazing creature that suddenly and abruptly meant the world for him. He wanted to protect and provide for this deity, and make her feel truly happy, appreciated, loved, as she deserved, and was fully within her right to demand.

‘I could make up an excuse, I can find something..’, Dan follows. Pauses for a second, adopts a thinking face, with eyes and eyebrows tight together, smug smile on the corner of his mouth, ‘..But fuck that. I am gonna go up to them and say `Me and this beautiful amazing woman next to me have some plans together and it turns out we have to leave now. Excuse us and have a nice gaming session for the rest of the evening`’. Her face lights up even more, her mouth does a cute little circle, surprised, but also like having an idea, and she follows with ‘Do it!’

So Dan proceeds to say all that, all the while Val was standing next to him smiling. Just as he finishes excusing themselves, she adds ‘What if I don’t want to go?’ and looks at him with a challenging face. ‘Hehe’, says Dan with a surprised but happy face, then quickly changes to a decisive and determined posture ‘Then I would have to take you right here and now, in front of all these people!’ and then switching to staring longingly at her; and during all that time you could feel a smile behind all that, like it was nothing for him, like he had done this a million times before, and he was ready to do it once more, and all he was waiting for was the signal to start, to lunge at her, rip into her being, tear her apart.

Val stood there for a second, smiled, took a cheeky face, brought the tip of her tongue out, touching her upper lip, then made a sound, clicking her tongue. ‘Yea.. We’re going now guys, have fun’. Quickly after, everyone started smiling and laughing.

Dan then firmly but gently grabbed her hand and they both proceeded in leaving, looking up to exploring the new world that’s now in front of them, to finding out what’s to come in this new universe. And they were looking forward to all of these knowing that hand in hand, heart next to heart, this new Cosmos was theirs.