#experiences unique to lesbians and it has been damaging to be constantly called restrictive and 'greedy bitches' as it while preaching about

[discourseful]

(*1) not trying to start anything and IA that ace people who aren't gay shouldn't add onto posts for gay people but... i personally don't think it's helpful or useful to exclude bi people from posts for gay men or lesbians... of course there are certain experiences that bi people can't 100% relate to, just like they are bi experiences that lesbians/gay men can't 100% relate to but in many ways, we are the same, we're treated the same and we deal with the same issues. idk.

“(*2) like, it IS offensive to see a post for questioning lesbians and tell them that they might be bi or pan, so this isn’t about that!! but the anon you got, where they went “Like they can’t stand being excluding from something that they can’t truly relate to” sounds kinda… bi women deal with comp het too, have traumas related to men, have very difficult relationships with men as a class & individuals… i feel kinda uncomfortable with pretending lesbians & bi women are inherently different(*3) like i said i really really don’t wanna start anything!! pls don’t take this the wrong way. i just hate this unnecessary divide between lesbians and bi women (and can’t speak for a divide between gay men and bi men cuz i’m a woman).”

look. there are plenty of spaces and posts about all wlw/sapphics as a group, and then there are spaces and posts that are just for lesbians and just for bi women. it would be equally wrong for lesbians to pile onto posts only for bi women with “ME BUT IM A LESBIAN!!”. we are ALLOWED to want to talk about unique experiences as lesbians. lesbians and bi women do have lots of ways we can relate to each other and that is wonderful and should be celebrated! but we ARE still different, and recognizing that isn’t wrong. why is it fine to keep questioning posts only to lesbians but not say “wow i love being only attracted to women, smash that reblog if you agree!” or make a meme meant for lesbians?

we are similar groups with very similar and overlapping issues and experiences, but that doesn’t make us the SAME. if we were the same, we wouldn’t have separate labels. we don’t even entirely have the same issues! lesbians have certain issues unique to us and bi women have certain issues unique to them! this whole “we’re actually the same in every way” argument is why people have misused historical lesbian terms so much - like comp het IS a lesbian experience, because it is about our LACK of real attraction to men and feeling compulsory attraction! bi women genuinely have attraction to men. butch and femme are identities for lesbians and dyke is a slur that targets lesbians for our lack of attraction to men - which is exactly what makes us a different group from bi women.

we aren’t treated the same! we both are oppressed by homophobia, but lesbians specifically experience lesbophobia and bi women specifically experience biphobia. i cannot relate to many of the experiences bi women have that are because of biphobia, just like they can’t relate to what i experience as a result of being a lesbian. it is helpful for BOTH of our groups to recognize our differences AS WELL as our similarities, or we end up diminishing the unique experiences and problems that we both face.

i know you’re not trying to start shit, but i am tired of being told that i do not have unique experiences or that it’s wrong for me as a lesbian to want something specifically for lesbians. there is a lot of biphobia that comes from lesbians, but there is also a lot of lesbophobia from bi women! there is a LOT to why there is often a divide between our communities, and it isn’t just because lesbians are asking to not have non-lesbians comment on our posts. there is lateral aggression from BOTH sides, and again, we both have unique experiences that both lesbians and bi women deserve to have recognized as unique. i agree that the divide is a problem, and i WANT more solidarity for all wlw, but that isnt going to be achieved by telling lesbians we’re greedy bitches for wanting a few things for ourselves.