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nozumonagito · 3 years

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Overwhelmed

Naeleon (Makoto Naegi/Leon Kuwata)

(minor)emotional hurt/comfort fic. cw: yelling, demeaning of self, emotional outbursts. ~2k words

tldr; Leon is very overwhelmed, luckily he has Makoto there to help him

Based on this submission from @naeleon-headcanon-blog

Books? Check. Notebooks? Check. Blankets and a change of clothes? Check and check. Rucksack full of snacks he had stolen from the kitchen? Check!

Everything for operation date night was ready.

Carefully placing everything into his emptied school bag, Makoto slipped it onto his back and stuffed his room key into his pocket. A glance at the clock reassured him that it was only 9:20, there was still half an hour before he had to be heading out. But he had already finished his homework for the night, and there wasn't enough time to get started on a new project… it'd be fine to show up early, he reasoned.

He settled on the thought, locking his door behind him. With a smile on his face he turned to head down the hall, and almost ran straight into Yasuhiro. The clairvoyant was immediately on edge, jumping back from their barely-avoided collision and almost dropping his phone. They stared at each other for a moment, a look of understanding passing between them before the mystic smiled at him. "You gonna tell Taka I'm sneaking out?"

"I won't tell if you don't, Hiro."

The taller laughed, patting his shoulder and wishing him the best before running past him down the stairs. He could faintly hear him meeting up with some upperclassmen in the stairwell before their voices faded away.

Shaking his head, Makoto adjusted his bag and headed down the hall. It was always a little weird walking through the empty halls at night, but he could sometimes hear an exceptionally loud laugh from Mondo's room, or the sound of an anime opening from Hifumi's, and the sliver of light from beneath doors was enough of a reminder that everyone was there. He slowed down as he passed Ishimaru's room, trying to make his footsteps as quiet as possible. He really didn't want to be late for movie night because Taka caught him near curfew again.

But there was no light coming from behind the door, meaning he had either gone to bed early or was somewhere else, and it was enough of a confidence boost to let Makoto hurry the rest of the way to Leon's room. With midterms coming up they hadn't had much time to hang out lately, and he was eager to finally relax together. As he got closer to the door though, he was concerned with what he heard.

"-can't possibly be that fuckin' difficult! Piece of shit!"

There was no doubt it was Leon yelling, and he hesitated by the door. He could hear the distinct thud, thud, thud of something hitting the wall, and could picture the Ultimate throwing a tennis ball against the wall. One of the first years, Ryoma, had given him one after he put a hole in the wall from throwing his baseball at it. Using a softer ball was definitely an improvement, but there were still dents in the wall from the frequency and he could only imagine how it bothered other students.

Was… that why Hiro had left? They shared a wall, and he'd seen the clairvoyant take walks before when his neighbour was stressed, but for him to make plans for the night and leave? How long had Leon been at it?

The cry of "Motherfuc-" broke off into silence as Makoto knocked on the door. The banging against the wall stopped, and it was growing eerily quiet. He waited a few seconds, but when there was no answer he knocked again.

"Leon…?" No answer. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he grabbed the handle. "Hey, I'm coming in, okay?"

The door swung open easily, it was hardly ever locked. Inside, he could see a textbook open on the desk, crumpled balls of paper overflowing from the waste bin next to it. Leon was standing by the chair, tennis ball in hand as he stared down at the book. As he walked in, Makoto couldn't help but notice there was a new dent in the wall by the bed. He set his book bag on the bed slowly, not wanting to startle Leon.

The ball in his hand bulged as he squeezed it, knuckles turning white as his other hand gripped the chair. He hadn't looked up once since he'd walked in the room, but his chest rose and fell quickly, as if struggling to get enough air. "Makoto… 's not a good time…" he mumbled, head turning slightly towards the lucky student. "Gonna need to, uh… cancel tonight..."

Regardless of his words, Makoto sat on the bed, pulling his legs up beneath him. They'd been in this situation before, each time Leon quietly asking him to leave. But he knew better than that, knew that the baseball star would only spiral further if left to his own devices. Instead, he just asked "What happened?"

He could see Leon freeze up, see the tension that coursed through him as his hands twitched, gripping the chair beside him as if it was a lifeline. The tennis ball dropped to the desk, bouncing a little against others in a bowl. "...Homework. Was tryin' to get it done before you came over, but I-" he broke off, running a hand through his hair.

Frustration was worming it's way into his voice. "Was tryin' to do these math problems but every time I start I fuck it up!" His voice was growing louder, frustration turning into anger as he grabbed a ball from the bowl and tossed it between his hands. "It shouldn't be this fuckin' difficult, right?! I mean, what the hell! Chi can do this shit in his sleep, and I can't even do one problem without fucking it up!"

Makoto's eyes darted to the ball, quickly returning to his face to show he was paying attention. The redhead's face was twisted in a sneer, and his eyes were focusing on nothing in specific, looking through whatever was in his line of sight. "Doesn't Chihiro usually help you with math?" he asked quietly, watching his classmate pace from one end of the room to another.

"Yeah, usually. He had some dumbass council thing tonight, asked if I could do it myself. Told him yeah, what the hell else would I tell 'im?!" Leon groaned loudly, running a hand through his hair again as he turned on his heel and paced back the way he just came. "Dude takes time out of his day to help me out all the time, can't just tell him no! Figured we'd done enough that I could manage one night on my own. It's just one night! Just three fuckin' problems! I shouldn't have this much fuckin' trouble-"

"Leon, wait, that's-!"

"-With an easy ass REMEDIAL CLASS!!" The baseball whizzed through the air regardless of Makoto's warning, hitting the lamp on his nightstand dead center and sending it crashing to the floor. Both boys stopped to look at it, the light flickering from behind the broken lampshade. "SHIT!!" Leon smacked his head, covering his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. "Can't believe I just did something so fucking stupid!!"

"Don't beat yourself up, you didn't-" Makoto started to say, but stopped himself as he saw Leon stop pacing and pull at his hair, eyes squeezed shut.

"Stupid! Stupid stupid stupid!!"

"Leo-"

"STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID!!!"

A gentle hand resting on Leon's arm made his eyes snap open, watery grey eyes searching Makoto's face desperately. He led the baseball player to the bed slowly, sitting him down and grabbing a thermos from his bag to offer him a drink. "Here, take a sip" he spoke softly, his hand never leaving his arm as he squeezed it reassuringly.

Leon took a long sip, taking a shuddering breath like he had forgotten how to breathe. He was practically hyperventilating, tears streaking their way down his face and Makoto sat beside him, making Leon look at him. "Hey, it's okay, I'm right here. Can you count with me? 10… 9… 8…" Quietly, Leon's voice joined his own, continuing with him down to one.

Squeezing his arm, Makoto took the thermos from his shaking hands, setting it on the nightstand. "There we go… Can you tell me what day it is?"

"...Wednesday."

"Where are we?"

"...Hope's Peak."

"What's your talent?"

"....Fuckin' baseball."

"Who am I?"

Leon's breathing had started to calm down, blinking as he looked slowly up at his companion. "Koto… my boyfriend…"

Makoto gave him a gentle smile, nodding his head and taking shaking hands into his own. His fingers ran over the decorative rings his boyfriend was still wearing, and he felt Leon grip his hands like he'd disappear. "Yep, I'm right here for you. Always."

It wasn't the first time Leon had had an overload in front of him, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but he knew the boy was afraid of scaring him off. The first time he'd thrown something in front of him, Leon had avoided him for a week, paranoid that he wouldn't want to be around him anymore. Makoto would be lying if he said it wasn't concerning, but he was determined to understand, setting aside time to sit down privately with Leon and talk to him about it.

He was easily overwhelmed if he felt he wasn't good enough at something, and his relying on baseball to get him through school had meant he never really learnt how to study. Now that he was in Hope's Peak, surrounded by people who were all experts in their field, he was finding it harder and harder not to get angry at himself when he couldn't do something. Usually he could push the feeling inside, but it would keep building and building until he couldn't keep pushing it down, and if something particularly difficult happened, or he heard too many of what he labelled as "bad sounds", or he was having an off day, his brain would go into an overload and he'd shut down, unable to control his anger at himself.

This was something that Makoto was sort of familiar with, as too much stimuli or conflicting sounds could send him into a sensory overload, and he could relate on some level. He didn't get angry, like Leon did, but he'd had his fair share of crying sessions in his dorm after a particularly difficult day with stimuli. He'd made extra-sure that Leon knew what he experienced was valid, and reassured him that he wasn't scared. Since that day, he'd caught Leon on the verge of breaking a few times, and once in the middle of an episode. Each time he sat down and helped him work through it, reassuring him that he wasn't stupid or an idiot like he claimed.

"Why do you keep helping me, Koto?" Leon asked suddenly, his face buried in Makoto's hair as he held him close. His voice was barely above a whisper, cracking as he spoke. "Nothing makin' you deal with me when I'm like... this… hell, half the time I'm yelling at you to leave. Why bother?"

Makoto hugged him tightly, pressing a chaste kiss to his shoulder. "Because you're worth it, Leon... I wish you could see that."

He felt him laugh, but there was no humour behind it. The loud student was tired, having worn himself out emotionally. He leaned back against the wall, pulling Makoto with him. There was a moment of silence as they situated themselves, neither one wanting to destroy the comfortable silence they found themselves in.

"...I love you, man."

Though his eyes were closed, he could practically hear the smile in Makoto's voice. "Love you too, Leon."

#thanks for letting me use this prompt man #totally didnt use this as a vent piece after a frustrating day /lh #sorry if the formatting is atrocious im not used to writing directly on tumblr #also not mentioned but uhh implied are my personal headcanons of autistic Makoto and ADHD Leon so yeah #based this off my own meltdowns/overloads a bit #nagi writes #crossposting this to my writing blog later-

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cryptid-bloodhound · 5 years

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Legends Crime AU

After some great suggestions from: @daughterofthewinedude, @sunflower-key, @ajays-lullaby, and @unsightedjoker I decided to expand upon the Crime AU and fill in the blanks thanks to them! If there are more suggestions, let me know! I’m always open to them (:

So, again thank you for the suggestions, they’re a huuuge help!

Basic Roles

under the cut bcus I rambled again, oops. If yall want to know more, just hmu! I might make individual character ‘profiles’ if there’s interest. Also, if anyone wants to use this for their own crime setting/au then feel free! (i’d totally love to be tagged in stuff bcus im a hoe for crime aus)

Bloodhound - Unknown Assassin - They're independent and usually can’t be hired as they seem to be working down some sort of list. They aren’t in it for the money, clearly. However, if you plead your case and it’s a good one (in their eyes) the person you’re targeting might just disappear one day. Occasionally they’ll play the silent, scary backup if one of their associates/friends needs it. Nobody knows who they are, where they came from, how to contact them, or what the hell is up with them. It’s been noted that whenever they stop by a city, notoriously nasty criminals happen to go missing. All that’s known about them is that nobody escapes Bloodhound once they start their hunt.

Lifeline - Ex-Mob Princess/Mob Doc - Ajay Che would have been considered a Mob Princess if she had stayed within her Family Ranks. Her parents made very little effort to hide the truth of their profits from her. Disgusted, she left as soon as she could and swore to never join the life. Instead, she became a doctor in an effort to help people and make up for what her family has done. However, her childhood friend Octavio drug her back into the life unintentionally. He’d get hurt and show up at her doorstep again and again. Soon enough, other mobsters and criminals started arriving, earning her the unspoken title of Mob Doc. Now it’s not uncommon to find random Family members just lounging around her place. She decided to just say ‘to hell with it’ and try to act as some sort of Moral Compass for the crew.

Octane - Ex-Mob Prince/Demolitionist/Arsonist - His family and Ajay’s are closely intertwined. They grew up together thanks to the meetings between his parents and hers. However, unlike Ajay, he didn’t feel a moral repulsion at what their families were doing. If anything, he was bored. They weren’t extreme enough. It was almost all Blue Collar crimes, nothing explosive or violent. So, in typical Octavio fashion, he jumped ship and looked for something faster, flashier, more dangerous. It landed him in the ranks of his current Family as their Demolitions and Arson guy. He managed to drag Ajay back into their lifestyle after blowing off his own legs when he blew up the building of someone who pissed him off. He may not be the smartest or most level-headed member, but there’s no one more willing to jump into a fight or play with explosives than him.

Mirage - Jack of Trades - runs the ‘Cosa Nostra’-esque bar called the Paradise Lounge. It’s a neutral meeting grounds for the varying Families and it is an unwritten rule that nobody is allowed to fight in its premise. It’s the only ‘safe spot’ in the city. He has several different jobs for the Family. Aside from running the bar and helping to launder money, he is a document forger, a con artist, tech expert and is capable of talking people out of trouble one way or another. Basically, if someone needs to ‘disappear’ or get out of trouble, they come to ‘Mirage’.

Bangalore - Ground Enforcer/Collector - An ex-spec ops soldier who left the service after the mysterious ‘disappearance’ of her brother when he was on leave. She is certain it was a rival gang who did something to him. So, she’s started a crusade to find out what happened to him and avenge him one way or another. She joined the Family after crossing paths with them on more than one occasion. After witnessing her impressive skills, they offered her whatever resources she needed to finish her quest in exchange for her services leading and training their ‘troops’. She also isn’t shy on collecting the debts owed to the family.

Gibraltar - Allied Boss - Makoa Gibraltar isn’t your typical Crime Lord. For starters, he doesn’t actively harm innocent people. If anything, he is closer to a vigilante than an evil mobster. He started his biker gang after witnessing one too many hate crimes and seeing too many horrible people walk free from a corrupt system. He protects victims from their attackers during tenuous things like court trials and breaks up hate crimes he sees in progress. He’s become affectionately noted throughout the city by its citizens and even the police like to turn a blind eye when they can when he’s seen protecting someone (or beating the ever-loving shit out of some asshole). He has a shaky alliance with The Family. At the moment, they haven’t done anything notably horrible and have helped fund his growing group. They even slip him some info every now and again about places and people who might need a ‘meeting’ with Gibraltar.

Crypto - Double Agent Hacker - Tae Joon Park is technically ‘dead’. After being framed by The Family for the murder of his adopted sister Mila, he decided it was best to stick with the idea of being dead and created a new identity for himself. Filled with a searing need for revenge, he’s entered into the Family under the guise of being their expert Hacker and pro at Espionage. There’s no code he can’t crack and no information he can’t find. He’s capable of bringing empires down from behind his keyboard and screen. That’s exactly what he plans on doing to The Family. Only, he’s starting to notice a very strange pattern. Not everyone in the Family seems to be aware of the shady business going on. Some appear to be victims themselves that are being played. Now, he also has to decide who is guilty and who’s just like him - a pawn.

Caustic - Wild Card Killer - Considered an Associate as he refuses to formally join The Family as a Made Man. Alexander Nox is also technically ‘dead’. After a run-in with the law (and a subsequent escape from prison), he had the local forger Mirage falsify evidence of his death and craft him a new identity. He functions as an interrogator and a cleaner when he feels the fancy. He’s made it very clear that he is, under no circumstance, beholden to what the Boss wants. He helps because the Boss offers him a practically endless supply of test subjects in exchange for extracting information from the people and disposing of the bodies. He also mentors Wattson in the ways of proper disposal. What his end goals are, nobody really knows and nobody wants to ask.

Wraith - Shadow Broker/Assassin - Renee Blasey is something of an enigma. Few people know her name beyond ‘Wraith’ and fewer still know what she looks like. She hides in the shadows, gathering information and eliminating targets with precision. There’s a rumor that she’s the one who brought the newcomer Crypto into the fold and that they’ve worked together in the past. Perhaps he was the one who freed her from a rival gang’s clutches. Due to her apparent connections all over the place and an almost unending supply of information, she was held captive and tortured for information. After her violent and bloody escape, she stumbled across the Family and they welcomed the notable information broker with open arms. How she gets the information she does, no one knows. She is always elusive about it. ‘A little birdy told me.’ ‘The voices knew’.

Pathfinder - Transport Expert - A ‘defective’ MRVN unit because he was too free-thinking and asked too many questions, namely: ‘what happened to my creator?’ He was going to be decommissioned and shut down permanently when a group of strangers broke into the facility and ransacked the place. After they saved him from being decommissioned, he followed them around like a puppy and unintentionally joined the Family. He functions somewhere between ‘getaway/transport expert’ and ‘team mascot’. It’s thought that he might have witnessed some damning things and that’s why he was going to be decommissioned. In the process, his memories were corrupted so it’s almost impossible to truly tell. They’ve begun proper work on restoring his memories now that the technical geniuses Wattson and Crypto have joined up alongside Mirage.

Wattson - Security/Business Front/Cleaner- Daughter of an Associate. She didn’t know her dad worked with the mob until she was older. After the initial surprise, she joined in on the business, going so far as to becoming Made. She runs the security service front known as ‘Apex Protection’ that also doubles as their money laundering business. Nobody gets past her defenses to get to Family. (It helps that her dad was rather close with the notoriously effective cleaner Caustic. She’s picked up a few tips from him and now helps with the cleaning when needed)

#Apex Legends #Crime AU #this was longer than expected huh

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pikapepikachuu · 5 years

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Why I make time for mental health care every day, and we all should

Loading Were all busy juggling work, family and social lives but people who make time to look after their wellbeing are often better equipped when it comes to managing stress. Daily actions also mean that youre keeping on top of how youre feeling, rather than waiting for things to get bad before seeking help. The earlier you get treatment for your mental health, the sooner you get back to feeling like yourself, says Dr Blashki. Here are some ideas for things research suggestsyou can do to help your mental health each day: Move your body Loading Physical health has long been linked with mental health, but new research takes this even further. New research suggests that exercise can help to prevent depression, showing that getting on the move is important for each of us. This doesnt mean we have to spend hours at the gym each day and certainly, high levels of exercise arent possible at some points of mental illness but the researchers say, Any activity appears to be better than none. Get into healthy routines We shouldnt underestimate the importance of the simple daily habits we keep, says Dr Kaine Grigg, Founding Consultant Clinical Psychologist of MyLocalMind Inc. We need to be aware that our body functions in rhythms. Routine is key: sleeping routine, a healthy and nutritionally balanced eating routine, and an exercise routine are core daily routines we need to maintain, Dr Grigg says. Be a little mindful Loading Yes, its an overused term, but being mindful is a really quick and easy way to make a difference to your mental health. As little as five minutes per day of mindfulness practice has been demonstrated to physically change the part of our brain that detects threats in our environment and consequently triggers stress and anxiety, says Dr Grigg. Considering mindfulness meditation exercises, yoga or other relaxation practices can help manage stress levels. Some favourites are the Smiling Mind app (which is also great with kids), 1 Giant Mind and Headspace. Have a chat If youre struggling it can feel difficult to call a friend. But that connection is one of the best things we can do to help ourselves, and a bit of a chat is a great daily habit. We are social beings and lack of connection is a major predictor of depressive symptomology, says Dr Grigg. Regular face-to-face social connection is necessary for our mental health. Whatever it is that makes you feel good Self-care means something different to each of us, so we shouldnt get caught up in giving it a rule that it means going for a daily run or having a weekly bubble bath. Experts say its important to do something that you find relaxing or pleasurable every day. It might be something small each day, but that adds up over the weeks and months to a great habit. Ask for help If you need help, its also vital to reach out to the experts. Dr Blashki says, If you are experiencing severe mental health issues or distress, including suicidal thoughts, its important to see a GP or mental health professional. There are 24-hour phone lines to support you, such as the Beyond Blue Support Service 1300 22 4636 and Lifeline 13 11 14. Megan Blandford is a freelance writer and the author of Im Fine (and other lies). Most Viewed in Lifestyle Loading https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellness/why-i-make-time-for-mental-health-care-every-day-and-we-all-should-20190513-p51moz.html?ref=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_source=rss_feed

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