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scientistowengottlieb-newtkelly · 4 years

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10 Year Picrew

tagged by @cheesedemarco so i might as well do this hjskgjksjfjgk thanks bro 💕

2010

~2nd grade, 7-8 yrs old

- loved or thought they loved the color pink Wholeheartedly

- cats made Everything better, thought they might be part cat and loved to imagine that they were because they grew up around cats

- i legit don't know how no one thought "hm, something is Off with this one" but no one picked up on them being Different other than the kids smh so i got picked on a bit

- sisters kept asking if they were gay because they had a fixation on katy perry's "i kissed a girl". did not quite know what being gay was.

- put into a gifted program, got confused, never showed up to classes unless the teacher showed up to get them but thinking back was probably supposed to just leave

- like 2 close friends and that was It

- emotionally invested in binging animal planet docuseries'

- wants to be a vet when they grow up

- lots of really Weird ideas that thinking back on now just resulted in spending time alone and thinking or playing alone

- attention seeker :))) didn't receive any :)))))))

- "why are boys and girls treated so differently, i don't understand?? what makes me a girl??"

- polo.... ticks???

- first time cutting their hair "short" (bob cut, just above the shoulders, Loved It and then Hated It, wanted the mako mori haircut despite mako not existing yet)

- first signs of anxiety showed up around this time

2015 (pt. 1)

6th-7th grade, 12-13 yrs old

- sad emo bitch, honestly

- melodramatic as fuck, i would not be friends with them now if i knew them

- attention seeking at its worst

- anxiety at its worst

- lots of pushing people away and isolating from friends in fear of making things worse for them having to see me emotionally compromised in any way

- lots of having to talk people down because they managed to make friends with probably over half of the school's Depressed Children population and had even more online

- first boyfriend, didn't turn out hjskgjskg peer pressured into a few firsts actually

- loved loved loved black veil brides and h*talia/anime in general, do not come for me and do not ask for details, i will deny ever existing during this time period

- first discovers the lgbtq community

- first makes an instagram account

- first discovers what fandom and fanfics are

- first writes fanfics like a fucking madman, literally could pull three short fics out of their ass every day, edited and everything, but never posted them out of fear of rejection and criticism

- really REALLY wants to be an author but doesn't have any kind of faith in themself or their ability

- makes friends who like their writing and latches onto them for the next Ever (still friends with them now 🥰)

- couldn't manage their obsessions with fiction and it negatively affected their life in a few ways

- first girlfriend, still miss her as a friend, but didn't turn out because they still had a lot of Emotions they didn't know how to process

- joins kik and makes a lifelong friend and qpp :))

- finally let themself say fuck. come on bb u can do it just not in front of ur parents ok?

- "i HATE politics that shit is SO ANNOYING and i will NEVER be political ùmú rawr xd >:((((("

- maybe like two other girlfriends or so, was Really Just Going Thru It, Wanted To Find Themself (and also didn't know how to say no to people in fear of disappointment)

- noticable difficulty keeping track in school compared to before

- miles mckenna

- "wait, you can trans your gender?"

2015 (pt. 2)

7th grade, 13 yrs old

- still probably wouldn't be friends with them but better than before

- mom upon being asked to let me cut my hair in the "ellen cut": BUT YOU'LL LOOK LIKE A LESBIAN???

- my reaction, still partially in the closet: YES. AND???

- technically out as genderfluid and pan, did nothing to actually insinuate they wanted to shift what pronouns people used for them because "Oh But What A Burden That Would Be On Others :("

- happier with themselves but still Going Thru It because they didn't know how to put their feelings into words yet

- also a constantly fear of being perceived as annoying or a nuisance

- touch aversion appeared out of seemingly nowhere, got worse over the course of the next two years or so

- sleep deprivation ×1000000000

- more school difficulties,,,

2020

high school senior, nearly 18 yrs old

- successfully transed their gender... mostly. almost 2 years on t. will probably never be out as nonbinary to most family. but at least they have a mullet-in-progress

- been in therapy for somewhere over 2 years, maybe close to 3??

- somewhat learned how to say no and stand up for themself and has removed toxic people from their life successfully :))

- actually has some semblance of confidence!!! you go bitch!!! comfortable in their body after t once they realized their remaining dysphoria was almost strictly social

- emotionally good but physically and mentally running on fumes and fixations

- has come to realize that they probably have undiagnosed adhd and that their therapist needs to get bent because he keeps telling them "no" and then after they talk to him about it he goes "ok maybe..." with no real answer, thanks roger 💕

- overly friendly???? just wants to make people smile and this time knows that if they don't that it's okay because at least they got to smile about it

- fixated HEAVILY on pacific rim and iasip, and torchwood (but mostly just on charlie day and burn gorman BECAUSE of pacific rim hjskgjskjgkahgkg)

- trying to get back into writing fics so hard but things just do no be coming as easily as they once did

- "i type in all lowercase because i FUCKING HATE CAPITALISM"

- probably a maoist idk i'm still Learning new things every day

- manages to actually run a tumblr blog and make friends without having borderline panic attacks??? fun times y'all

- extremely grateful to see how far they've managed to get :)

sorry for uhhhhh putting my life's story on here LMAO anyway. i tag ummmmm anyone who sees this and wants to do it!!! here's the picrew!!! have fun!!!

#rowboat speaks #faceboat

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