#fanning myself with my hand. oh my goodness. ohhhh great heavens. thank you for the food. FAINTING AF WGWHWBHWBWBWH💖💖💖💖💖💖

[deviliciousdev]

MBTI✨⛄️The Great Christmas Debacle🎄pt.4

entp (the debater)

x

intp (the logician)

best friends

+

(entp x infp relationship & intp x entj relationship)

-------------------------------------------

[at a christmas tree lot, early afternoon, the day before christmas eve]

lot worker: how bout this one? [using one had to carry three foot tall skimpy tree with droopy branches]

entp: ugh what the hell is that?

intp: 😳

entp: is this really the ONLY tree you have left?

lot worker: oh no i just showed you the worst one first. it's the day before christmas eve buddy.

intp: *snickers*

entp: 🙄 i get that, man, but still like there's NOTHING else?

intp: normally they wouldn't be pushy to a probably under paid seasonal worker, but we are kinda desperate.

lot worker: buy your tree earlier?

entp: LOOK i know, ok. I KNOW it's the day before christmas eve and we're looking for a fucking tree. BUT IF WE COULD TONE DOWN THE TUDE AND JUST FIGURE THIS OUT, would be cool ok?

intp: yeah they burned down their significant other's christmas tree and we really need a new one. actually i've been ordered to get a "bigger, better tree"

intp: [talking more to themselves than to the worker, while entp stares at the worker wide eyed like a crazy person] though now i'm thinking about it, i can't remember what the old one looked like so this might be an impossible task...

lot worker: 🤨... rough go, kids, but like i said we're fresh out of a "bigger better" redemption trees. [starts to walk off]

entp: [panic yelling] THIS IS THE THRID LOT WE'VE BEEN TO! WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!

lot worker: maybe get an axe there fire started [laughing as he walks off]

intp: ahahaha

entp: I WILL! ILL DIG ONE OUT WITH MY BARE HANDS IF I HAVE TOO PAL!

intp: [still snickering] fire starter

entp: THATS IT LETS GO!

intp: go where?

entp: [stomping to their jeep] THE FOREST!☝️

intp: we live in the city?? what forest??

entp: WE LIVE IN SEATTLE!! THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST! THE FOREST IS OUT THERE INTP! YONDER THE PINES GROW! LOOK TO THE HORIZON FOR GODSAKE! WE'LL FIND IT!

intp: [looks around] all i see is buildings and a homeless man squatting in that alley... oh god he's not squatting, HE'S NOT SQUATTING. [jumping into jeep as fast as possible]

[after a good two hours of getting lost and having to stop at a hardware store to buy a chainsaw, the xntp twins of chaos find themselves "in the forest"]

intp: are you sure this is far enough from the road? because i can definitely still hear cars also i can kinda see em.

entp: it's fine just help me put the fuel mixture in the chainsaw.

[goes over to hold chainsaw]

intp: oh! ahhh! damn it entp! you're getting gas all over man!

entp: [still pouring] well hold it up more!

[gas mixture going everywhere]

entp: damn it! it's empty! ok it's fine i'm pretty sure i got enough in there for one stupid tree.

intp: ok now, which one...?? i mean these are definitely all bigger and better. they're like 10ft tall. wait we can't do this, it's against the law.

entp: 😐

both: burst out in laughter.😂🤣

entp: ahhh that's a good one intp. ok i say we chop that bad boy down. yeah... he's a looker.

intp: ok so i think we just pull the lil cord thing to start it up, and by we i mean you. [hands entp chainsaw]

entp: i know this is like a super desperate ordeal that's going on, but can i just say i'm so excited to use a chainsaw.

intp: it's like practice for the apocalypse... eek! 😆👐

entp: RIGHT! ok let's start this bad boy up. [pulls cord half way then slips out of hand] damn it, ok i'll try again, it slipped. [does it again, slips again] DAMN IT! MY STUPID HAND'S ALL MOIST FROM THE GAS!

intp: ew.

entp: [wipes hand on pants like a crazy person] ok i dried it. i hope. ok let's get it! [does it again, finally gets it started] YES! LETS SAVE CHRISTMAS!!

intp: [pulging ears] AHHH ITS SO COOL! BUT ALSO SO LOUD!! LIKE REALLY LOUD!

[entp starts in on the base of the trunk, yelling like a mad person as sawdust starts to fly]

[several hours later, now dark out just after the sunset🌅🌃]

intp: [using chainsaw on tree which is still completely upright] ahh! cramp!! cramp!! cramp in arm!!

entp: [holding iphone light on tree] WHAT?! YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS!

intp: ITS BEEN LIKE AN HOUR!!

[neither were correct as it had only been twenty minutes]

intp: ahhh! just take your turn!! my hand is now cramping!

entp: ugh!! fine you big baby, give it to me! just hold the light. [trades intp and starts for actually two seconds and stops, and screams to the heavens] ugh! this is so exhausting! i hate chainsaws! i hate myself! and i hate christmas AND CHRIS ANGEL YOU SWINDLING SON OF BITCH AND YOUR DEFECTIVE MAGIC KITS!!

intp: i wanna go hommmme. chainsaws are not as much fun as i thought, they're loud and heavy and difficult to wield and fuel, also it's dark, i'm cold and i want snack. and nature is gross i mean we should obviously save it and recycle but I HATE BUGS and i just saw a centipede ewww.

entp: I KNOW THAT INTP! but i think the tree is about ready to come down! [counties to chainsaw tree trunk]

intp: [leans against different tree, holding phone light in limp hand. sees something out of the corner of their eye] 😳 um entp...

entp: [can't hear because they're chainsawing and yell ranting] ugh! i will get infp a new tree if it kills me!! ahhh!!

intp: [seeing red and blue flashing lights through trees, coming up path] ummmmm, entp!!

entp: i almost got ittttt!! [chainsaw stutters and stops] NOOOOOO! ITS OUT FUCKING FUEL OHHHH MYYYY GODDDD! CAN THIS CHRISTMAS GET ANY WORSE!!

intp: ENTP!

entp: WHAT?!

[turns to see what intp is looking at, sees cop car pulling up and hears a quick whoop whoop 🚔🚨]

entp: son of bitch.

[cop gets out of car]

cop: you two wouldn't be trying to cut down a tree out here would ya?

entp: [throws chainsaw to their left]

intp: *nervous laugh* ahaha nooo officer, definitely not because- because that would be um- illegal. and- and- and we're good law abiding tax paying... um Seahawks fans. go boys in blue huh..?

entp: 😬

cop: 😐 mmmhmm. because it looks like it's got some chainsaw gashes, also i saw your friend there throw a chainsaw over there... also i can see the chainsaw... they're not very good at throwing huh?

entp: ok, you try and throw that thing it's really heavy.

cop: right well since the tree is still up i'm gonna let you two off with a hefty fine... each. [starts to write on pad]

intp: wooo ok, thank you officer.🙏

entp: [whispers to intp] phew, good thing the chainsaw ran out gas, i was just about to timber that mother fucker, *snicker*

intp: [whispers back] aha, ugh i know right, [weird voice] that coulda been badddd *snickers*

[hear wood creaking. tree timber's behind them]

cop: [looks up slowly] 🤨

entp: 😐

intp: is there... any chance you... didn't see that? 🤔

cop: 😠

intp: 🤓

entp: fuck. me.

to be continued...

[everyone-has-their-story]

instagram commentary with my sister: Sander

his is very aesthetically pleasing but also a dedication to his relationship with Robbe and I respect that

(I’m so glad that I was still recording when she went through their IG)

I feel like I’ve just started dating someone and I have to go all the way back in their instagram to make sure there are no major red flags

Shoutout to my love Sander for having his captions in english because instagrams translations are not reliable

I’ll break however many records I want! So far...none

Oh he broke one record...he’s beating me

Sander in a white hoodie? I’m a fan

Stairway to heaven? I mean you are heavenly…

Oh shit that’s a cool picture

He looks great here, like really great...10/10 (black and white picture looking out the window)

Graffiti time!

Those are some big ass scissors...also, Sander you look 12 in this picture

Ooooooh paintball time! Remember that time you shot Britt like 10 times? LOLz

You will be king and I will be the peasant 

Ahhhhh what the fuck is that!!! Nooooooo! I hate halloween

Oh look, a hand! *shows it to me* It’s coming up from the depths of hell to bring you back! (She is talking about me not Sander 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Oh shit that’s a cool picture. Sander looks great in blue lighting...well any lighting, but this one in particular

A picture of Sander looking at a picture on his camera? Inception! 

Ahhhhhh the first Robbe picture!

They really like taking selfies in bed, huh?

And yes, you are in fact lovers. Good job, Sander!

Ohhhh the cuddle thing from the party!! Look at the look of love on Robbe’s face! So cute

The lock!! Ofc they mention universes! If Robbe doesn’t want to meet you in this dream then I will happily volunteer

Ooo look at you being all mysterious with your smoke and sultry looks

“Is this real life?” I ask myself that every damn day

More drawings! I mean I can draw a stick figure pretty well...thinking of posting it on my own IG

Ahhhh another drawing of them! Of course he did it for valentine’s day…

Oh hey that’s where I thought Robbe actually broke shit...I’m still fucking dumb

Sander is smiling in a picture!! That is probs my favorite picture of them so far. Both are so happy and smiley!

More drawings! More horny captions!

Oh shit you got a ring light? Idk what Robbe said in his comment but I agree (i tell her what it means) Oh yes, I definitely agree!

Hey cool graffiti lady! You look great!

A rainbow!! And of course he tags Robbe. Love that for them.

Ahhhhhh another anniversary post! Both of you taught us ALL what love is and I thank you for that. I love you too!! These pictures he chose are now my favorite...I’m aware I said that a bunch already I think. Sue me. 

Istg if [my boyfriend] ever posted this sappy shit I’d delete his instagram, but for Robbe and Sander I absolutely love it and they should continue to do so.

Next time y’all go shopping, hit me up!

***she didn’t see his brown haired post until after this was recorded, but I did post her reaction to it when I posted her episode 6 commentary