#fathernier

[sakuraharunogirl]

"We Made It This Far Because You Were With Us!” -Emil Happy Friday! Here’s the Nier group for y’all ❤️ 📸 @mhcosphoto ⚔️ Papa Nier- @jhazecosplays 🌼Kainé- @sakuraharunogirl 🌚Emil- @distractedcosplay #anime #manga #cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram #nierreplicant #nierreplicantver122474487139 #nierreplicantcosplay #kaine #kainé #kainecosplay #fathernier #fatherniercosplay #emil #emilcosplay #cce #colossalconeast #photoshoot #videogames #squareenix #nier #niercosplay #kainécosplay https://www.instagram.com/p/CkjWd-Jpywc/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[kentaropjj]

#inktober day 3! I finally played Nier for the first time! #inktober2017 • • • • • #inktoberday3 #nier #niergestalt #fathernier #kaine #kainenier #nierkaine #emil #nieremil #emilnier #weiss #nierweiss #grimoireweiss #yokotaro #blackscrawl #art #sketch #illustration #drawing #fanart #digitalart #kentaropjj #crewham

[ofthedeaddesigns]

I am tired.

My anxiety and paranoia have reached a new high lately and its been terrible dealing with it. I am sleeping more and more but i never feel rested. My body aches and i find myself more blank in thought or having some sort of mental crisis.

My workload has doubled in the last few months. Large amounts of success and recognition from new clients. Huge clients and i am happy about it but i feel i should be ecstatic in it. But i still dont feel amazing about it. Theres still a void there. Endless hobbies don’t fill it up anymore. Ive been feeling just like shit lately

Im tired. Overworked. Underpaid. I am dealing with large responsibly at work with a whole new work crew where i feel completely alienated. I am terrified of what they think of me. If im to weird. Too quiet. Too talkative…to anxious. I dont relate to them. I didn’t with the others but i still felt close. We all trusted eachother. Would hang out in my office and talk about work.

At home I’m constantly working on my own drawings to be able to provide a good life for my girlfriend and i but feel i devote too much time to it and it makes me sad. All ibwant is to spend the night hanging with my love. Our work schedules clash a lot so we only see eachother for a few hours before she has to sleep and 99% of the time I am on the computer while shes on the couch and its not fair. I feel so guilty all the time. Our love is as strong as ever but i feel i neglect to much. I can count how many nights ive been able to actually lay in bed at the same time as her to sleep. Usually im up til 1 or 2 in the morning working. Always working. I want to providebher with with all i can but what i want the most is time. Time that has ben bought and sold to clients from all over the world. So i have to work.

With my family

I am the only member that speaks to everyone in it. My brother doesn’t speak with my mom or grandma. My sister clashes with my mom. My mom and grandma are constantly at odds.my father isolates himself from us all. And theres me in the middle. Like always. Tearing myself apart to keep everyone whole. Being insulted with accusations that i only took sides for a place to stay or because i never see My parents the way my siblings do or just for my own gain. And really..its because i just want to feel like i have an actual family. I cant remember the past time we were all together in the same room. Laughing and enjoying eachothers company. Now its just my gma and mom sadlynasking if ive heard from my family or my father calling me because hes looking for my siblings. Even though i always answer always look out for him he still looks for them. My fathernis a stranger to me. Just someone whos there who i get to awkwardly talk to for 2 minutes every 2 weeks when hes either depressed or drunk. He might be moving in with me and my gf. Even though my dad and i don’t get along i still offer my home to him because he just recently got injured again at work

He’s only 59 but has had more health scares than i can count. Idk how many times ive seen him in a hospital bed. Soemtimes Hell call me just to say hes out of the hospital when he never told anyone he as actually in there.

But now he may be kicked out of his apartment of 9 years because the rent rises but his ssi checks stay the same. And if i dont step in i know he’ll just live in his van somewhere. I cant have that. Stranger or not hes my dad. I have to.

My mom just got diagnosed with r.a.

And shes terrified. She turned 60 this year and it terrified me. She’s hurting and scared and none of My family is there to help. Its on me.like always. Im the youngest of 3 and i have then most responsibilities of them. I have to be the emotional anchor for them both.im then only one there. Then only one answering.

My siblings dont say a word. Dont ask how shes feeling. What medication shes taking.what doctors are saying. Or just plain support. Nothing. Just me

I get tear filled calls from her that i am powerless to help with. Im barley holding together myself ;

She lost her best friend last year.was diagnosed this year. Had to leave her work that shes loved doing for 30 years. Being a nurse and helping sick kids feel normal. Now sje cant carry them or help them.she hurts to much. She hurts. And it hurts me.

My gma turned 80.

Shes broken both wrists. Was injured at work which lead to a broken hip and wrist. She had to retire due to the pain

Sufferers from some sort of ptsd from the accident. It still hurts her when she thinks about it. She feela the pain of the plates in every step. The surgeries dont help. She lost her sister and brother in the last few years. Shes my hero but shes slowly becoming mortal and it frightens me.

I’m scared of death

Im scared of growing old.

Im scared of dying

Ive been afraid since i was 6

And every day it gets worse.

Its whats always on my mind.

Always. The reason im up at 3am .

The reason i don’t sleep. Why i always work

Why i drown myself in hobbies. The void i cant fill. Cant patch.

Its not a fear i can get over. Not one i can face

Not one i can say “nope wont happen to me”

Im 27 and spent the whole year fearing being 28 that i forgot to enjoy being 27.

In my mind i Still feel 18.

But im not.

Im older

Always older.

Ive been smoking a lot more. It helps keep the fear at bay. The anxiety at bay. But sometimes the cracka are to great and the fear grows into. Pure terror. I cant smoke alone. I alwaus meed my gf around to keep me calm.

I always need her to keep me calm. Shes the anchor that keeps me grounded

Shes what holda the string so i dont float away. Shes my rock. Im crazy about her

She keeps the far at bay. I love her more than i can explain. More than she can know.

Im crazy about her. She keeps me safe. Shes so short but her attitude has her tower over me. Ive felt 3 feet tall lately. Shes my hero.

I am strong because she shows me how ti be strong. If stumbles she picks herself up and keepa going. I feel stuck in the mud.

I am tired.

How couldn’t i be

This is day in and day out

A hamster in a wheel

Always running

Getting nowhere

I am tired.

[ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim]

He has burned down this family's house in the middle of the forest: They have been rescued but the damage was already done by the time we came along. This isn't the first occurrence from what has been told and he was ready to escape to elsewhere. *Her hold on his icy prison is still strong* Is there anything else that could be done to ensure their safety? _Storm

Charms for protection? I mean, ozher zhan a dragon ad half demon alvays around to protect zhem, I don't see any ozher vay... *kurt frowned* unless... ElizabethMay is keeping secrets again...

*lizzy frowned, lowering her head. She felt so bad for lying, but really didn't like the truth*

*the children pop their heads out from under Ana's wing and the girl pipes up*

We could ask uncle Loki for help!

*the boy nods in agreement* or we could move to mama's home and declare war! Mama's a princess after all!

*the youngest adds* uh huh, princess of Jotun... jotun... icy place! *the little one can't say Jotunhiemn*

*lizzy sighs deeply as the kids completely blow her cover* yep... and your fathernis a royal prick from Muspelhiemn, but mommy doesn't like to talk about her home, kids...

[sakuraharunogirl]

Time to go save Yonah ! I am on a kick of collecting Vinyl’s of anime or video game soundtracks I just got my Nier replicant vinyl today and can’t wait to play it! 📸 @mhcosphoto ⚔️ Papa Nier- @jhazecosplays 🌼Kainé- @sakuraharunogirl #anime #manga #cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram #nierreplicant #nierreplicantver122474487139 #nierreplicantcosplay #kaine #kainé #kainecosplay #fathernier #fatherniercosplay #emil #emilcosplay #cce #colossalconeast #photoshoot #videogames #squareenix #nier #niercosplay #kainécosplay https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjqt26NJqTY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sakuraharunogirl]

The Duo is coming back to @animeboston Catch Joe and I in our Nier Replicant cosplays on Saturday afternoon! 📸 @mhcosphoto ⚔️ Papa Nier- @jhazecosplays 🌼Kainé- @sakuraharunogirl #anime #manga #cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram #nierreplicant #nierreplicantver122474487139 #nierreplicantcosplay #kaine #kainé #kainecosplay #fathernier #fatherniercosplay #emil #emilcosplay #cce #colossalconeast #photoshoot #videogames #squareenix #nier #niercosplay #kainécosplay #animeboston2023 https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp8YgvBrKtv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sakuraharunogirl]

"I Already Made Up My Mind! Nobody Tells Me What To Do! I Swore I Would Be A Sword! I Swore That I Would Be Your Sword!” - Kainé 📸 @mhcosphoto. Happy throwback Thursday! Here’s some Kainé. #anime #manga #cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram #nierreplicant #nierreplicantver122474487139 #nierreplicantcosplay #kaine #kainé #kainecosplay #fathernier #fatherniercosplay #emil #emilcosplay #cce #colossalconeast #photoshoot #videogames #squareenix #nier #niercosplay #kainécosplay https://www.instagram.com/p/CnVMXzlLC6e/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sakuraharunogirl]

HAPPY MONDAY! ALSO LOOK HOW FREEKING COOL WE LOOK OMG! Thank you 📸 @mhcosphoto for always capturing amazing photos. And thank you @jhazecosplays and @distractedcosplay for being apart of this super fun group! Now off to go save Yonah ❤️💪. Father Nier💪- @jhazecosplays Kainé 🌺- @sakuraharunogirl Emil ✨- @distractedcosplay #anime #manga #cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram #nierreplicant #nierreplicantver122474487139 #nierreplicantcosplay #kaine #kainé #kainecosplay #fathernier #fatherniercosplay #emil #emilcosplay #cce #colossalconeast #photoshoot #videogames #squareenix #nier #niercosplay https://www.instagram.com/p/CitAEarpOk4/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sakuraharunogirl]

Happy Hump Day 😛 the weekend is almost here! here’s some beautiful Kainé for today. 📸 @mhcosphoto ⚔️ 🌼Kainé- @sakuraharunogirl #anime #manga #cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram #nierreplicant #nierreplicantver122474487139 #nierreplicantcosplay #kaine #kainé #kainecosplay #fathernier #fatherniercosplay #emil #emilcosplay #cce #colossalconeast #photoshoot #videogames #squareenix #nier #niercosplay #kainécosplay https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj6XA6oryHu/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sakuraharunogirl]

Happy Monday. Only a few more days till it’s my birthday!! I’ll be posting my wish list in my bio if you wanted to grab something. But you totally don’t need to ❤️. Anyway here’s a beautiful photo of Kainé taken by 📸 @mhcosphoto #anime #manga #cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram #nierreplicant #nierreplicantver122474487139 #nierreplicantcosplay #kaine #kainé #kainecosplay #fathernier #fatherniercosplay #emil #emilcosplay #cce #colossalconeast #photoshoot #videogames #squareenix #nier #niercosplay #kainécosplay https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci_F9xar90Z/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=