#features make author trop happy

[tropinano]

YOYOYO!!! check the front page!!! isnt this awesome? clown park gets a feature!!!

[amoralto]

— The Beatles (May, 1965), c/o Rolling Stone (France): Les Beatles répondent à Proust. (December, 2017) (Note: The Beatles answer the Proust Questionnaire. Read below the cut for a full transcription!)

“Je venais de voir A Hard Day's Night. Les Beatles débarquèrent à paris en mai 1965... je les ai recontrés avant leur concert nocturne au palais des sports. Paul McCartney et les autres se promenaient et posaient au bois de Boulogne pour Jean-Marie Périer, escortés par une meute de gamines éblouies.

J’aborde Paul: — J’aimerais faire un reportage sur votre groupe. — Impossible! Nous n’avons pas le temps. Nous parton demain matin pour Lyon, avec une Caravelle, vers 8 h, as far as I know...” Je réserve aussitôt ma place par téléphone dans le restaurant La Grande Cascade, où ils se désaltèrent. Pas de portable à l’épogue!

Des centaines de fans sur les terrasses d'Orly. Foule de journalistes dans l’avion. Dans la nuit, j’ai eu l’idée de leur faire répondre au questionnaire trop irrévérencieuses, un tantinent sacrilèges. Deux ans plus tard, dans un autre avion, entre Londres et Munich, j’obtiens enfin ses réponses, approuvées par Brian Epstein. Pour les Beatles, je suis désormais devenu Henry Proust!”

 — Paul Wade

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John Lennon:

1. What is for you the height of misery? Hot feet.

2. Where would you like to live? Here.

3. What is for you the ideal of earthly happiness? Now + then.

4. Which mistakes have you the most indulgence for? Mine.

5. Who are the heroes of novels you prefer? Me.

6. Who is your favourite historical personality? Me.

7. Who are your favourite heroines in real life? Me.

8. Who are your favourite heroines in fiction? Me.

9. Who is your favourite painter? Me.

10. Who is your favourite musician? Me.

11. What quality do you prefer in a woman? Tits.

12. What quality do you prefer in a man? No tits.

13. What is your favourite virtue? None.

14. What is your favourite occupation? Floating.

15. Who would you have liked to be? Pope anything.

16. What is the chief feature of your character? An unearthly.

17. What do you appreciate most in your friends? Admiration.

18. What is your main default? Hate.

19. What is your dream of happiness? Black knickers.

20. What would be your greatest misfortune? Lose my virginity.

21. What would you like to be? Happy.

22. What is your favourite colour? Rainbow.

23. What is your favourite flower? Forgotten.

24. What is your favourite bird? Heckle.

25. What is your favourite author in prose? Who.

26. Who are your favourite heroes in real life? Adolf Churchill.

27. Who are your favourite poets? Me.

28. Who are your heroines in history? Tennessee/Ernie.

29. What are your favourite names? God, Jesus.

30. What do you abhor most? God, Jesus.

31.  Which historical character do you despise most? All of them.

32. What military event do you admire most? None at all I’m afraid.

33. What reform do you admire most? They have not passed it.

34. What natural gift would you would like to have? Flying.

35. How would you like to die? Insane but quiet.

36. What is the present state of your mind? Light to variable.

37. What is your motto? Me.

Paul McCartney:

1. What is, for you, the height of misery? Being woken up after 2 hrs sleep.

2. Where would you like to live? England.

3. What is your ideal of earthly happiness? Riding on my bike, through the countryside, and feeling the sun on my face, the birds in the trees. Then falling off and grazing my knee.

4. For which mistakes have you the most indulged? Mine.

5. Who are the heroes of novels you prefer? Juan of the Wayward Bus. Harris Tweed of the Eagle.

6. Who is your favourite historical personality? Julius Caesar.

7. Your favourite heroines in real life? Bernette Chosavitch. Marcel Proust.

8. Your heroines in fiction? Louis Lane. Marcel Proust.

9. Your favourite painter? Secret.

10. Your favourite musician? Alan-a-Dale.

11. What quality do you prefer in a man? Speed and mercy.

12. What quality do you prefer in a girl? At a healthy mind.

13. What is your favourite virtue? Goodness.

14. What is your favourite occupation? Mine.

15. Who would you have liked to be? Cliff Edge. (Our history master.)

16. The chief feature of your character? Speed and mercy.

17. What do you appreciate most in your friends? Togetherness.

18. Your main default? Pigeon chest.

19. Your dream of happiness? Me stretch out in a field in a world with no threat of war… and graze my knee.

20. What would be your greatest misfortune? To live my life again another way.

21. What would you like to be? A church.

22. What is your favourite colour? Black.

23. What is your favourite flower? Snapdragon.

24. What is your favourite bird? Chicken Southern-fried.

25. What is your favourite author in prose? Andy Gray.

26. Your heroes in real life? Ray Coleman, Judith Simons.

27. Your favourite poets? Adrian Mitchell, Bob Danvers Walker.

28. Your heroines in history? Elizabeth I, Marcel Proust.

29. Your favourite names? Nathaniel, Anna, Relf, Gobbo, Belt, Coursette.

30. What do you abhor most? Southern-fried chicken.

31.  Historical character you despise most? Marcel Proust.

32. What military event do you admire most? Labour winning the election.

33. The reform you admire most? Cat ‘o’ nine tails.

34. The natural gift you would like to have? A watch.

35. How would you like to die? Gracefully. (With speed.)

36. Present state of your mind? Puzzled.

37. Your motto? Have faith in God and you will see His light make bright your day.

George Harrison:

1. What is for you the height of misery? Having no sugar in my tea.

2. Where would you like to live? England.

3. What is your ideal of earthly happiness? Jesus.

4. Which mistakes have you the most indulgence for? I forget just now, Sir!

5. Who are the heroes of novels you prefer? Jimmy Olson (Superman’s pal.)

6. Who is your favourite historical personality? Attila the Hun.

7. Who are your favourite heroines in real life? Sophie Tucker and Ella Phant.

8. Who are your heroines in fiction? Mrs. Biggles. (She was just great.)

9. Who is your favourite painter? Hitler.

10. Who is your favourite musician? Bert Kaempfert.

11. What quality do you prefer in a man? Kindness, courtesy and consideration for others.

12. What quality do you prefer in a girl? Loose morals.

13. Your favourite virtue? The 3 Stooges.

14. Your favourite occupation? Growing tall.

15. Who would you have liked to be? Mike Nelson.

16. The chief feature of your character? Jolly.

17. What do you appreciate most in your friends? Their lungs.

18.  Your main default? Brake linings and gear box.

19. Your dream of happiness? Do good to others all the time.

20. What would be your greatest misfortune? Having no limbs.

21.  What would you like to be? A cornflake.

22.  What is your favourite colour? Rellow.

23. What is your favourite flower? M. Diougals. (Don’t climb – try it!)

24. What is your favourite bird? Bird?

25. Who is your favourite author in prose? Ted Heath.

26. Your heroes in real life? Gaye Byrne.

27. Your favourite poets? Doby and Gray Limited.

28. Your heroines in history? Jeff of Arc.

29. Your favourite names? Tom, Albert and Sidney.

30. What do you abhor most? Most things.

31. Historical character you despise most? Houdini.

32. What military event do you admire most? The battle of 1163.

33. The reform you admire most? Upper 5E.

34. The natural gift you would like to have? Speech.

35. How would you like to die? Asleep please.

36. Present state of your mind? 10% alcohol.

37. Your motto? Non nobis solum sed toti mundo nati.

Ringo Starr:

1. What is, for you, the height of misery? Nowhere to sleep.

2. Where would you like to live? England.

3. What is your ideal of earthly happiness? Sleeping all day.

4. For which mistakes have you the most indulged? Good ones.

5. Which are the heroes of novels you prefer? Don’t no.

6. Which is your favourite historical personality? Judus.

7. Your favourite heroines in real life? Billy the Kid.

8. Your heroines in fiction? Pansy Potter.

9. Your favourite painter? John Lennon.

10. Your favourite musician? Usef Latief.

11. What quality do you prefer in a woman? Understanding.

12. What quality do you prefer in a man? A lot of things.

13. What is your favourite virtue? The duck-billed virtue.

14. What is your favourite occupation? Sleeping.

15. Who would you have liked to be? Al Capone.

16. The chief feature of your character? Kindness.

17. What do you appreciate most in your friends? 5’ 11”.

18.  Your main default? 5’ 8’’.

19. Your dream of happiness? 6’ 1’’.

20. What would be your greatest misfortune? 2’ 9’’.

21.  What would you like to be? 6’ 1’’.

22.  What is your favourite colour? Black.

23. What is your favourite flower? Poppy.

24. What is your favourite bird? Do Do.

25. Who is your favourite author in prose? Sturgen.

26. Your heroes in real life? John, George and Paul.

27. Your favourite poets? Bob Dylan.

28. Your heroines in history? Lady Godiver.

29. Your favourite names? Roach joint.

30. What do you abhor most? V. D.

31. Historical character you despise most? Carrol Levis.

32. What military event do you admire most? None.

33. The reform you admire most? Slave bill.

34. The natural gift you would like to have? 6’ 1’’.

35. How would you like to die? Quick.

36. Present state of your mind? Fuzzy.

37. Your motto? Be kind to your dog and you will always have a friend.