#feels not quite right to me n even downright commodifying in some ways
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rereading a fic (bc i'm trying to typeset it so i can print it before my parents come back from their trip) and UGH it's so good
#IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE EXPERIENCED WRITER'S ENVY BUT HOLY FUCKING GOD I AM EXPERIENCING WRITER'S ENVY (GOOD)#only tangentially related but i don't really get fic writers who like. do preorders n stuff to get their fics professionally printed#like i know that not everyone is physically able to do what i do (typeset fics then print them n then bind them by hand)#but the idea of going to like. idk what people use tbh but something not fan-owned (i.e. mlp is an exception to this)#to print their fics feels... not quite right to me in the same way that the proliferation of hyper-professional zines in fandom#feels not quite right to me n even downright commodifying in some ways#the other day i was in a call w/a kouhai from high school n i mentioned i mailed out some calligraphy i did for a fic the other day#n she was like 'did you at least get paid for it?' n i gave her a five-minute lecture on the gift economy of fandom#n how as part of trying to uphold that ideal i do not take money for fandom projects whatsoever#ANYWAY i forgot how good of fics i've read for xv before... or well i knew they were good but i forgot abt the writer's envy lol#i kind of wanna experience this more bc AAAA I WANNA WRITE THAT BEAUTIFULLY#花話
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