#fellas I’m so sorry to say this but I’m gonna get briefly obsessed

[higgs-the-god]

Mgs warriors au……. Could I ,.. give the cobra unit [emotions][same word] or would that be lazy…

[fuckedurbias]

boyfriend!johnny seo

this kinda turned into a little scenario oops,, but still top tier soft content my heart is aching :(

i’m gonna vomit from all the cheese that’s already all over the place from even the mere thought of this

the cheesiest, sweetest, purest, most loving & caring boy in the entire universe

he would give you his all 24/7, nothing less than that

THE NICEST KISSES EVER AAAAA

so soft

yet so passionate and deep

see everyone says big spoon but i think he’d love to b the little spoon, at least sometimes

eeeee when you play w his hair he m e l t s

ALSO BEST CUDDLES he’s literally a big snuggly bear

that eye smile,,,,, just for you

you know that scene in tangled when they’re on the boat surrounded by lanterns and eugene’s looking at rapunzel but she doesn’t realise? thats johnny @ you (fuck i just killed myself)

he would’ve had feelings for you long before you had any for him

you knew of each other because you were friends of each others friends

you also had a few classes together

every time you had class with Johnny he would sneak glances at you

sometimes even stare at you dreamingly

only if he was sitting behind you ofc for that last one bc hes not a complete creep

so yeah he definitely had a big ol crush on you before you were even close to him

you’d spoken to him a few times before briefly for the sake of class related things

and at parties or outings where your friends had invited you both

obviously when you did see him or talk to him you thought he was fine as hell because while you weren’t exactly friends with him, you’re not blind or a complete dumbass

now to how he snatched your heart

one time in class your professor said that in the next class he would be going over with you all the next big assignment that you would be starting

all he said about it was that it was going to be done in pairs

so of course, johnny, being the sneaky sneak he is, devised a plan

it really wasn’t elaborate at all but ofc he felt so sneaky and cool coming up with any kind of plan at all

anyways, he was just going to sit next to you in the next class

so before you could choose any of your friends to do the assignment with, he would swoop in

unless you rejected him anyways and still did it with one of your friends

or if the teacher just made you guys do it with the person sitting next to you (if it was the person sitting on the other side of you that wasn’t him, he would clothesline the professor)

s O ANYWAYS

the day came

he came early to class so that he wouldn’t miss the chance of getting the seat next to you

he was nervous as hell

he’d had two cups of coffee already and was ready….. kind of??… not really - to do this!

fake it till u make it fellas

the professor comes to the door of the classroom and opens it, as the few other students already there slowly walk in

oh shit, this is awkward

you’re not here yet

so what the heck is he meant to do??? just stand there awkwardly and wait for you so he can sit next to you

it’d be so obvious if he just went into the classroom as soon as you rocked up

so what does he do?? the first thing that comes to his mind

“oops, sorry prof gotta take this call it’s my mom” (im australian, it kills me to write it that way)

he quickly turns around the corner, faking a convo with his mum waiting for you to walk past

after what feels like forever you finally do

so he waits another couple of minutes before he ‘hangs up’ and walks into the classroom

and there you are, right up the back at the top like the angel you are

with a free seat next to you

you give him a concerned, lowkey annoyed look

out of all the free seats with nobody next to them he chooses to sit next to you? creep

anyways speed forward a couple of hours and, he did it

he asks the question, after bursting it out like he’d been holding it in for the millisecond the professor asked everyone to choose their partners

…. which he was

but somehow?? you don’t know why or how but you agreed

probs bc you knew he was smart and if he was so eager to do it with you then why not?

if he is secretly a murderer/stalker/overall weirdo that is obsessed with you then at least you won’t have to worry about crippling debt anymore if he kidnaps and or murders you

and that moment is where it all began

he got your number

messaged you about meeting up for the assignment

and that day you didn’t really do anything to do with the assignment

because once you two started talking and joking around

you couldn’t stop

you just felt so comfortable around him

he was so funny?? like not funny at all but thats why he was funny??

you fell so fast

and so hard

which is rare for you to open up to anyone that fast

but he made it so easy

you were lowkey scared about how easy you fell for him

you thought it was a trap and that you’d just get hurt

but johnny reassured you everytime that it wasn’t, that he genuinely liked you a lot

he waited for you, took it as slow as you wanted until you felt safe enough to commit

and when you did, you didn’t regret a thing

all your worries and fears went away

ofc you still had your moments but as i said, johnny would reassure you and validate you everytime

HE’D JUST BE SO SWEET AND REASSURING AND WOULD JUST DO A N Y T H I N G to make you feel 100% safe and comfortable

i’m crying now bye bye i can’t admit my feelings for johnny, not now, not anytime soon

[piracytheorist]

My Notes on Rewatching “Call Girl”

I amuse myself by thinking that watching this film is an important rite of passage for anyone who’s an all-in Colin fan, as in, one who’ll watch anything and everything he’s in, no matter the content, theme or quality.

I actually used to think that this was a pretty bad movie... but, as you might have seen from my last few posts, I recently realized this isn’t the case. Sure, it is not your average short film, but breaking it down you realize it’s doing most things right from a filmmaking point. I mean, you don’t have to love it, but it does a great job overall.

And I mean, it’s got Colin in it. How bad can it be? ;)

Beware of spoilers, if you haven’t seen the film. And if you do wanna see it, here it is :D

~

I'm still surprised that... this is it. That's Colin freaking O'Donoghue right there. The pirate. The cowboy. The astronaut. The man the myth the legend.

Ah, early 00's.

Wait. Ok let's make a breakdown of the decoration here. There's: 1) a heart anatomy poster 2) a frame with an undiscernible picture 3) IS THAT AN ASTRONAUT FIGURE? dun_dun_dun.mp3 4) a small penguin (?) plushie with a nautical (?) hat on it 5) are those... mantis figurines stuck on the sides of the screen????

Oooooh boy you sure have some very specific decorations on your desk.

The music stops abruptly when Brendan's mother calls out to him to not close the door because she wants to see him studying. That's interesting. Also how old is Brennan supposed to be? Is he supposed to be in high school, or an adult in college? What was the age of consent in Ireland in 2003?

This vibe, though. White perfect shirt and dark vest...

The look of "I'm gonna look at hot girls with my bedroom's door open while my parents argue across the hall" ALSO YES THAT'S A MANTIS

This just makes me laugh so much. Can you imagine sweet innocent (mostly) virgin Brendan typing it and his heartbeat skyrocketing?

Seriously though, that "Welcome back Brendan" thing. With one small addition you add a whole point in his backstory about him trying to deal with his urges.

Jesus I have forgotten so much. As soon as Brendan hears his mother coming, he immediately clicks "Dump her" on the "Virtual Babe" and it just... explodes. 

With a full low-quality boom sound effect to boot. Like seriously if you were trying to hide why the f have your speakers on. You had one job, Brendan.

A rare glimpse into Brendan's room, and I'm trying to understand what the pattern on his sheets are. Maybe I'm just confused by the astronaut figurine, but it looks... vaguely... about space? Like, if you squint, the circular thing on the top left looks like Saturn's rings. No?

Also, Brendan's mom being obsessed with disinfection. That was 2003.

"I don't want filth getting into my house while I'm gone." And two hours later, her son has sex on her bed.

Oh wait, his father says "The only contact [Brendan] has with the outside world is through that bloody computer of his," in a... weird, tone? Like he's trying to placate the mother's fears of any rave party suddenly taking place in the house, but also with his tone (and maybe by using the word "bloody"? idk I'm no native speaker but it piques my interest) it doesn't seem like he's very... understanding and/or supportive of his probably very shy and/or socially awkward son.

Mom: That reminds me, block off the internet, will you? Dad: *scoffs* Why not lock him in a tower while you're at it?

He is sassy though!

Lookit him though! So sad he won't be able to create and look at Virtual BabesTM while his parents are gone.

The parent's accents strike me more towards a British one and I got confused for a bit, but then I remembered that we see Brendan use euros later, lol.

*hatching the plan to search in his father's briefcase for any cards for escort services*

This is where I started feeling that this movie is better than I’d remembered. Like, it does the job of delivering Brendan's guilt over "tresspassing" into his parents room and disobeying his mother, as well as his fear of being discovered, even though he watched his parents drive away, so he'd hear the car if they came back, in a pretty well-done and clear way.

I love how he immediately knows exactly where to look. His father's such an organized fella. Also those pills that he seems to not need immediately (thus leaving them behind for the weekend) are... something. They're put there for a reason and I wonder what that could have been.

There's not even a moment of hesitation, once he opens the briefcase. He doesn't put the card back in, he only looks briefly at his parents' photo but then he's like "Yeah. I'm doing it."

That smile as he sees the card though, lol. 

Casual reminder to have safe sex, lads.

And then the phone operator is like, full business mode. Brendan stutters for one (1) second and she's immediately like, "You want a girl?" She's like, I've had tons of people like you, lad, can't waste my time waiting until you find the courage to ask. You wanna hire or not?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED The operator asks for the address, Brendan gives it, then asks how much does it cost. Then the operator says "Same as usual." BRUH she knew the address from how often his father used the service!

And then poor Brendan checks his savings and his "Uh..." says it all about how he wishes he could hire someone for longer than an hour. Bro, calm down. It's your first time.

And then he's like, waiting all anxiously by the door. I've never hired an escort service but I feel ya dude.

And of course Barbara the nosy neighbor, here to bring us to the edge of our seats, lol.

Look at how organized their fridge is. Why is that chick suddenly so eager to cook something for him? There looks to be so much food already prepared in there.

And dude. This movie has set-ups. Barbara tries to open a cupboard to like pick up ingredients to cook something, and Brendan, with a sudden "No!" rushes in and closes it. It only makes sense later, when we see that that's where he hid the money for the call girl.

Yikes she booped his nose as she left... what is he, ten? I mean even if he's supposed to be a teen here it's still... like... he's not a little boy to fucking boop his nose. No wonder her mother seems to trust her with taking care of him, with how both treat him like he's a child.

Hi there! You're gonna die :D

Shit I just noticed the portrait on the wall. Is that a... is that a fucking ruff collar his mother is wearing???? (btw I had to search to find that term with "shakespeare collar" XD)

I mean... you can't help falling for it. At first you're like, she seems too... simple for a call girl. But then you're like, who else could it be who also knows his name?

I wonder what would've happened if she hadn't asked to use the bathroom, which prompted her to look at his parents' bedroom and him to... initiate contact. Would he have mustered the courage to actually ask her about it or would he have been so flustered until she'd say something? What would she say? "You know, your mother said you would [something]" and he would FREAK THE FUCK OUT because how does his mother know? Would they have stayed there in awkward silence long enough for his mother to call, him to pick up and find out what she was really there for?

I mean, look at that! I'm speculacting the "what-ifs"! Good fucking movie!

That look, though. You suddenly go from "Aw you cute" to "WTF I know you're thirsty for it but that's... creepy"

Look at that smile, though! She is pretty nosy!

I just... I love everything about this. The way she's smiling at nosing in in her boss' bedroom. Him creeping behind her like the future killer that he is, actually scaring her. The way he says "This is my mother's room," so shy and collected. The fucking music, too. How it slowly builds up from the moment she spots the bedroom and it starts developing when Brendan kisses her.

And that kiss. So chaste and shy and yet she's like, wow yeah let's have sex now.

"You're not as shy as you look." LOL

For the pre-sex scene I just wanna link y'all to @killian-whump 's post about it, since it says it all.

Also dude the voicemail is set up from that moment too, but we've yet to hear what it includes, aside from his mother being bossy about the smallest things. "I hope you haven't gone back to bed." IF ONLY YOU KNEW. Not only what bed he's gone to, but also what he's doing on said bed.

"You don't waste much time, do you?" Lol if only you knew. And again his first response is to apologize if he did anything wrong.

And you know what? Plot twists are a hell of a lot of fun and well made when they make you go back and see things with the new perspective. Like, how chill and simple she was, why she said the last line I mentioned, the newly-known reasons why she said it was kinky to have sex in his mother's bedroom... *slams hand on table* That's a great way to do a plot twist! A fucking plus!

Like seriously, this convo: B: Have you met my father? M: No, but a lot of the other girls have though.

Pre-plot twist viewer: Wow whAT how do you say it like that Post-plot twist viewer: Yeah makes sense

M: I think he gets sympathy from them, like, you know, cause his wife's such an old witch... *realizes* Oh, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that! *more failed excuses and then THAT face*

And like, that's a bit inappropriate in any case but pre-plot twist you're like WTAF. And then you're like eh makes sense for frustrated employees to pity their bitchy boss' seemingly calm husband...

And there's that set-up from before. Job well done, film.

And then their argument about the money. Brendan being confused about the amount, Mandy saying she'll come back and speak to his mother about it...

Seriously though what if he'd found out the voicemail after he'd had sex and before the "confrontation"? Would he like, have sent her on her merry way with all the money and then had more sex with the actual call girl?

And then his instinct, to try and make sure his mother won't find out, is to fucking threaten the woman with a knife. Wow, a little too much, Brendan. And then his first instinct, when they're fighting, is to search and grab the knife and fucking stab her. Lbr though that's just baby Colin finding his call for playing messed-up characters.

Also how did she die so quickly. Guess I found one weakness in the plot XD

And now you're like Jesus he just murdered her but when Barbara comes a-knocking and he looks at her and exasperatedly calls her name, you're like... same, bro.

And the stupid bastard didn't even wash the blood off his arm. Like seriously, Brendan, either do a murder correctly or don't do it at all. At least you can't say he wasn't dedicated, bro sliced his own arm open. *pats head* you'll learn, my little murderous bean, you'll learn.

Brendan: I was doing the dishes. Barbara: Did your parents leave them for you to do? They must have left in a rush this morning.

Yes, Barbara, he can do the dishes, he's in an undetermined age between late teens and-

Barbara: They didn't even make their bed.

Wtf you nosy bitch.

See what I'm saying? Full character development for a character with like, two minutes of screentime.

And then the voicemail drops like an anvil. My first thought when his mother said that Mandy is nothing but trouble I was like "Yo look who's talking" but then I thought that... yeah she did creep in her boss' bedroom, actually had sex with her son in it, then pretty much talked dirt to him about her... I mean she definitely didn't deserve to die, but maybe his mother was a good judge of character for one (1) moment.

And then Lorraine appears.

And Brendan's like "Now I have money for like, three hours with her. Maybe I'll even convince her to help me hide the body too."

“OR MAYBE I’LL JUST KILL HER TOO.”

In conlusion, yup, I’m pretty glad I spent a good hour and a bit watching, analyzing, writing this review and screencapping this film. 10/10 would rewatch and review again.