#fic:through shadows

[little-paperboat]

What We Owe To Each Other (1)

Calling all the Empire! I'm super happy to share that I've finally published third part of the "Forbidden Fire" series (with a heavy delay, but it's here) 💜

6,738 words later (!) I'm finally satisfied with this first chapter 🤓 And the lesson learned is? I really do have to write every day, even if it's just editing a paragraph or 50 words, because otherwise I find it super difficult to get back into it in a way that feels natural and doesn't require an entire re-write and an extra week of work 🥲

For this next part, Tav and her crew arrive in Baldur's Gate with a lot of hopes; unfortunately, reality is much bleaker than anticipated...

They have finally reached Baldur’s Gate, but the trials that wait for them are far from over. Tav and Rolan meet again; under unexpected circumstances, they both yearn for what they cannot have. (or, at the end of the world, there is hope yet.)

I'm REALLY excited for the Sorcerous Sundries arc of the fic because I've been thinking about it for suchhhh a long time ; there are a few scenes in particular that I was dying to put on paper and now it's happening :D Can't wait to see what you think! x

You can follow the tag "series:forbidden fire" here on tumblr to not miss the next updates 🌸 And as usual, abstract under the cut!

Read on AO3 (1/2)

Read Part 1: Wild Winds Are Death To The Candle (2/2)

Read Part 2: Through Shadows To The Edge Of Night (3/3)

They had reached Baldur’s Gate at last. 

Upon seeing the city lights beyond the walls, Tav had almost cried, overwhelmed by the sweet relief of survival, yearning for what lay below her, for the life that was just at her fingertips; yet unable to find herself at peace. The triumph of the journey left a bitter taste in her mouth, one of ashes and blood. So much had changed since she had left the Gate, her life torn to shreds and pieced back together hastily. It had little to do with the beautiful tapestry that had been woven for her even before her birth, made of threads of gold and silver softly shimmering under the chandelier. Instead, it was now rough and uneven to the touch, dried blood staining the fabric that displayed burns and torn holes in several places.

Going through the Shadow-Cursed Lands had marred her mind, body and soul beyond recognition; the gnarled trees and horrors from the void forcefully stealing parts of her that she knew she would never get back. 

She hadn’t slept once through the night since their encounter with Ketheric Thorm. In the pitch black dark of her tent, she still heard the clattering of bones. Whenever she closed her eyes, a sea of putrid blood and the malevolent aura of the Lord of Bones manifested before her, his giant scythe slashing through her body.

She had almost died then; the cold grip of death tightening around her and choking her, ferocious and famished. She had only survived thanks to her companions’ bravery and tenacity - but the price had been paid. Things could never go back to what they were before; yet she hoped, she prayed, foolishly maybe, that walking in the city would allow her to find her missing parts, to piece herself back together. She longed to see the elegant buildings of the Upper City again, to enjoy the familiar and rich fragrance of the rich ladies’ perfumes, to finally sleep in silk sheets and comfortable beds. Maybe her family would have them all, the estate big enough to accommodate the whole gang plus the two druids, the owlbear cub and Scratch.

If her family was still alive, of course.  

And maybe… maybe she’d even see Rolan again. 

She would never admit it, especially not to herself, but his memory was what she clung to in the darkest hour of the night, his flaming eyes burning brighter than her fears. To fend off the nightmares she’d evoke the softness of his voice, the smile he had given her at Last Light Inn. Deep down, she felt guilty: his disinterest was painfully obvious, and she was pretty sure it was morally wrong to lust after a guy who wasn’t interested. 

But she couldn’t help it. 

She couldn’t forget him.

Maybe if she saw him again in the city, it could bring her closure. By now he surely had his apprenticeship, and who knows, maybe he found himself an attractive partner to go with it. She only needed to ask to be sure - to hear the final word that he was not into her; and then it would be over. Then she’d force her mind to move on and find someone else to fixate on. 

All she had to do was to reach the Upper City. 

Anything after that would be so easy, and soon, it would all be over - with or without the tiefling wizard. 

— Read the rest on AO3 :)

(c) divider by saradika

[little-paperboat]

Through Shadows To The Edge Of Night (3)

Here we goooo! Final chapter of "Through Shadows" is out, one day earlier than planned! 🧡 I'm super excited, it was so much fun to write! It's over 6,600 words too!! Twice as long as my usual chapters, which I didn't expect initially, but during the editing process I chose to merge the ending dialogue with another one that I had written for a later chapter, as I found it made more sense.

I'm glad that Tav and Rolan are finally having more interaction... and a little misunderstanding I was craving to write since the beginning, including that *one* scene that I imagined all those months ago and made me want to write this fic 😏

I hope you'll like it! The next part of the series will finally bring us to Baldur's Gate and to Sorcerous Sundries, and well, who knows what will happen then 👀 I'm planning to release it on next Saturday. You can follow the tag "series:forbidden fire" here on tumblr to not miss it when it comes out 🌸

And of course, I'm so grateful for all the comments, kudos and support! The Holy Rolan Empire is truly a gem, you guys are wonderful and it's super heartwarming to be part of such a kind community with so many talented artists and writers 🥹 ❤️

Read on AO3 (3/3)

Read Part 1: Wild Winds Are Death To The Candle (2/2)

She took a step towards him.

“Rolan?”

This broke him out of his stupor, his eyebrows perking up, frowning, and finally coming closer. Had he always been this tall?  

“Tav,” he replied sternly. 

Her name rolled off his tongue with ease, and something surged within her; wishing that he’d say it more often, whisper it against her skin, his lips caressing the shell of her ears— Wait, what? No! She had done so much for him, against her better judgement even, and he had been nothing but rude and a pain in the ass. No: she wouldn’t be so easily swayed. The ball was in his court, and her expectations were high. She wouldn’t be distracted by nonsense. 

She crossed her arms, unimpressed, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.

“You brought them back,” he said finally, his eyes finding hers, a hint of hesitation colouring his deep voice. Once again, she found herself hypnotised by the golden flames dancing against the moonless sky of his eyes. “I thought my entire family was dead, and you… you brought us back together.” His voice was soft, almost emotional. She didn’t even know he could speak like this.

“Don’t mention it,” she croaked out. What was wrong with her? Gods, she needed to get a grip, now.  

“You have no cause to be humble. You did the impossible and you went out of your way to help us when most people would’ve left us to die - or worse.” 

Maybe she liked it better when he yelled at her, after all. At least it didn’t make her heart beat so fast. 

There was a pause, but before she could speak, he continued.

“I’ve lashed out at you, drunkenly and otherwise, and you helped anyway.” She fought back a smile, biting the inside of her cheeks to physically stop her lips from stretching. “You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry. And, thank you.”

Was this real? Was this really happening? She tilted her head up at him and wished that she didn’t imagine his own gaze flickering to her lips. 

“Why are you being nice?” she asked in a hushed voice. 

“Because you were. I still don’t quite understand why you decided to help us - to help me, but you did.” He seemed to remember something, and handed her a small purse. “It’s only right that you get something in return.” 

A bag of gold sat in the palm of his hand, heavy and full. She paled, suddenly ill at ease. Was he giving her his savings? 

“Rolan, no. I can’t accept it.” It was absurd. Actually, it was offensive.  

His eyes darkened. 

“No? Is that not good enough for you?”

“On the contrary, it’s way too much. Really, I… I don’t need gold. I don’t, I swear.” 

She didn’t know how to explain to him that the sum he was handing her was probably less than her weekly allowance as a teen. 

Not that she was the kind of selfless person who refused to be paid for her services. Quite the opposite, actually: half her life so far had been dedicated to finding ways of getting and spending money, without any concern in the world for those who didn’t have any.  

But, well. Being catapulted in the middle of a refugee camp without any gold piece to spare had somewhat altered her perspective, and now she did feel bad about taking money from people in need when she knew her own coffers were still overflowing at home.

“I don’t need a reward,” she continued. “You keep it, for you, and Lia and Cal, for when—” 

“Take it, Tav.” He cut her, annoyance sharp in his voice. Clearly, he would obviously feel beyond insulted if she refused it, but at the same time, she really didn’t need it. Although, it could benefit the group, if only temporarily…

She chewed on her bottom lip, indecisive, before reluctantly taking the coin purse from him, swearing to herself that she’d find a way to give it back somehow. Her obedience seemed to please him, and he gave her a satisfied smirk that ignited a fire in her belly, a violent desire coursing through her veins. 

She wanted to know how his lips would feel against hers, how his body would react to her touch; to see pleasure etched over his handsome features and to hear him say all those nice things again, and then some. To see him happy, pleased; to make him lose his composure and show him how good it would feel to not be a stuck-up prick.  

She wanted to kiss him - she really did. 

And she wanted it now, even if he hated her. 

She had dealt with worse than that. 

“I didn’t tell Cal and Lia about what happened,” she said instead, inching just a bit closer, batting her eyelashes just so - giving him that one sultry look that always got her tangled in bedsheets under an hour. 

“I know,” he said with a strained smile. 

“You’re welcome,” she teased.   

He let out a breathy laugh.

“I thanked you once already. Don’t be greedy.” 

A glint of mischief burned in his eyes and she felt herself smirk, the flames of desire burning brighter. Oh, she was greedy alright - all she needed was a sign that he wasn’t just being polite, something, anything to let her know that he was also curious about her, and she would show him exactly just how greedy she could be.

— Read the rest on AO3 :)

(c) divider by saradika

[little-paperboat]

I'm in the process of editing the last chapter of "Through Shadows" and it's about 4500 words, the longest so far 👀

I'm not totally satisfied with it yet, especially since it contains some pivotal scenes and elements for the main story later so I really want to get it right, but I'm working on it and it's promising!

I'm suuuper excited for it though, it might be my favourite chapter so far. We're getting more Tav and Rolan AND they are doing something else than argue for once (they're not getting any smarter, though). But there is *progress* somehow heheh

Here's a little overview of the chapter, since I probably won't post until later this week 😇

She wanted to know how his lips would feel against hers, how his body would react to her touch; to see pleasure etched over his handsome features and to hear him say all those nice things again, and then some.  She wanted to kiss him - she really did.  And she wanted it now.  Even if he hated her.  She had dealt with worse than that.   “I didn’t tell Cal and Lia about what happened,” she said instead, inching just a bit closer, batting her eyelashes just so - giving him that one sultry look that always got her tangled in bedsheets under an hour.  “I know.” He gave her a strained smile.  “You’re welcome,” she teased.    He let out a breathy laugh. “I thanked you once already. Don’t be greedy.” A glint of mischief burned in his eyes and she felt herself smirk. Oh, she was greedy alright - all she needed was a sign that he wasn’t just being polite, something, anything to let her know that he was curious about her, and she would show him exactly just how greedy she could be.

That's it for nowww 🤠

[little-paperboat]

forbidden fire • update/delay

Hi! I apologize for the long delay but the next part of "forbidden fire" won't be published before next week-end (15/06) 😔

I was away last week and didn't write at all, which changed my rhythm and mood and now I'm struggling to get back into it, and to like what I had written for this part 😬 (also allergies are taking me doooown, the brain fog/tiredness is really intense and not helping at all lol)

But hopefully in a week I'll have this all sorted out! 🌸

As a little treat tho I can tell you that the title of the next part will be called "What We Owe To Each Other" and it'll be in two chapters ❤️

Stay tuned and long live the Rolan Empire x

[little-paperboat]

Through Shadows To The Edge Of Night

Part 2 of my Rolan x Tav slow-burn series is hereeee! Through Shadows To The Edge of Night takes us to the Last Light Inn, where Tav meets Rolan again and... well, things are not exactly playing out the way she thought it would.

I also wanted to say that I was blown away by all the positive feedback I received on the "Wild Winds" chapters, the kudos and the comments! It was very encouraging, the Holy Rolan Empire really is the best <3

I hope that you will like what's coming as well 🧡 As usual, little sneak peek under the cut. The next chapter will be uploaded next Monday most likely!

Read on AO3

Read Part 1: Wild Winds Are Death To The Candle (2/2)

Tav and her companions have finally reached Last Light Inn hoping for safe haven, but all she finds there are a grieving drunk Tiefling and the overwhelming urge to make things right. (or, Tav understands that her actions have consequences and Rolan finds that truly hating someone is not as simple as it sounds.)

“Rolan?” 

He turned around in one swift movement, and she was taken aback by the look in his flaming eyes. Vicious.  

“Oh, it’s you,” he snarled. “I’d recognise that self-righteous tone anywhere.” She recoiled as if he had hit her but he ignored her, instead going back to his drink, shoulders slumped and words slurred. “If you’re here to save the day again, you’re a little late this time.” 

The knots in her stomach twisted into something uglier, hurtful, and she felt an overwhelming wave of panic wash over her. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

“Rolan what’s wrong? Can I help?” 

If looks could kill, she would’ve been dead on the spot. Rage flamed in his eyes and she took a step back as he addressed her, his voice dripping with anger, his words too loud in the silence of the inn - I’m only here because you “helped” me and my family. Her head was pounding, her heart racing, but he would not relent. His blame felt like an acidic burn, corroding her skin, rotting her bones. You had other ideas. Cal and Lia were taken in by your crap. Her fault - a ruthless accusation, again and again. He leaned closer to her. The alcohol on his breath was strong, and worrying dark circles were blooming under his eyes. 

"You convinced them to play hero and now they’re gone! If you hadn’t filled their head with all that self-righteous crap at the Grove, none of this would have happened!” His voice cracked under the weight of his grief and she brought a trembling hand to her mouth, fighting the nausea. Shit. Shit. She hadn’t meant to- she never wanted…  All words and excuses flashed through her head, but he didn’t stop, and she didn’t speak.

“You know what the worst part is? They liked you. They looked up to you. And look at where it got them! They’re dead for all I know, they’re dead and I… and you…” She clumsily attempted to put her hand on his shoulder, but he slapped her away ferociously, sharp teeth bared like an animal cornered. “Don’t,” he growled. 

She hadn’t cried since the day of the nautiloid crash, a million years ago, but she very well felt like the tears would just burst out of her now, filling her lungs, drowning her to death. She could barely breathe - yet she forced the words out, to say something, anything, because she couldn’t bear the way he was looking at her. 

“Rolan I’m so sorry, I didn’t know - I’ll get them back, I prom…” 

“No! They are my responsibility!” he roared, the grip on his tankard tightening so much he spilled his wine on his pristine robes. “Enough of your excuses and brilliant plans. You go save the world, or your own arse, or whatever it is you do - just get out of my sight. I’ll fix this.” 

He turned around, his back resolutely facing her while she stood there, helpless, on the verge of throwing up or crying - or both. Fuck. Her head spun and she started walking aimlessly until her legs gave out, finally crumbling on the floor outside the Inn. Luckily there was no one around, and she crawled into a corner, limbs trembling while the tides of panic washed over her senses.

Rolan was right. 

She hadn’t meant to create this mess. None of this was supposed to happen. No one was supposed to have been inspired by her - not for this, at least. 

In her head, she pictured Cal and Lia’s lifeless bodies, half buried in the ground like the other tieflings, mangled, mutilated, their last dying thought being that they could be brave like her, not knowing that it was all an act, of which she just claimed the credit. 

(...)

— Read the rest on AO3 :)

(c) divider by saradika

[little-paperboat]

Hi there! 🌸

It's time for a pinned post! I'm Paper Boat (she/her, late 20s) and you may call me however you want 😌 This blog is the recipient of all my current hyperfixations. I'm trying to get back to writing regularly, and I've listed my current fics and OCs below.

Feel free to interact or tag me in games etc, I really don't mind! 🤍 At the moment I have a massive BG3 obsession (still going strong) with a big case of the Rolan brainrot 🧡 I absolutely adore the rest of the main characters and ship them with Tav/Durge & together too. I'm also an occasional Zevlor/Raphael/Gortash enjoyer hihi On another note, my top three otps of all time are Brienne and Jaime (GoT), Rose x the Doctor (Doctor Who) & Zutara (A:TLA), I'll always be *thrilled* to discuss them too! You can find me here on AO3: paper_boat

— Baldur's Gate 3

My fics:

• I Burned My Fingers On This Forbidden Fire, Rolan x Tav (series, ongoing)

— Part 1: Wild Winds Are Death To The Candle (2/2) — Part 2: Through Shadows To The Edge of Night (3/3) — Part 3: What We Owe To Each Other (1/2) — Part 4: TBA

My Tavs:

• Ariel Mithcallor | high elf, ranger | romancing astarion  [☆] presentation & moodboard [☆] [☆] pictures

— Hogwarts Legacy

My fic:

take my hand, wreck my plans, Seb x MC x Ominis (on hiatus)

My MCs:

Effie Williams | ravenclaw, paired with Seb and Ominis

(c) divider by saradika

[little-paperboat]

Through Shadows To The Edge Of Night (2)

Chapter 2 of Through Shadows to the Edge of Night is finally here! I'm so sorry for the wait - I fell sick and felt too tired to write or edit, and on top of that I found that chapter particularly difficult to write (when it sounded so easy in my head!). I struggled a bit with the english, with the action scene, and with making the different bits fit together. But I hope that you will like it nonetheless! At least we're seeing a bit more of Gale and Wyll this time.

I'm hoping to publish the next and final chapter next Saturday, with the conclusion of the Shadow-Cursed Lands and the much awaited (on my side at least hehe) reunion between Rolan and Tav post-rescue. Let's see how it goes!

Sneak peak of the current chapter under the cut, as usual :)

And thanks again for all the kudos and the positive comments, it's been really heartwarming and a fantastic motivation to keep writing x

Read on AO3 (2/3)

Read Part 1: Wild Winds Are Death To The Candle (2/2)

Going back into the wild was as nightmarish as she had imagined. They had agreed to go out without waking up the others - recovering Rolan first was a priority. Neither Gale nor Wyll had asked any questions, but she had nonetheless come up with a flimsy reasoning of him being powerful enough to help the Inn stand in case it was attacked. It was not untrue either: she heard someone mentioning that he saved the kids’ lives during the ambush. Still, every minute of him out there drunk and alone increased his likelihood of dying, and she didn’t want his death on her conscience. In the grand scheme of things, she could deal with being the indirect cause for the other tieflings’ misfortune, but if Rolan of all people died because he felt she had provoked him into fixing “her” mess, she’d never hear the end of it, from his ghost or her own inner voice. 

Gale and Wyll were walking next to her, holding flaming torches, looking for any sign of life. Wyll was not a ranger, yet his adventuring had granted him some tracking skills that were now proving invaluable. He had elbowed her pretty hard in the ribs when she started yelling Rolan’s name in the dark, shushing her that this was not how one was going to find a missing person in a hostile territory. Tav still thought that it would’ve been faster than crouching to follow faint footsteps on the ground, but she was too tired to argue. She sorely missed the warmth of the bed and the embrace of the crude blankets: instead it was the silence that weighed on her, suffocating, overwhelming - every shadow a foe, every movement a threat. In the dead of the night, she was wondering if they’d ever find him. How long had it been? How far could he have gone? And what if they were already too late?  

“Detono! ” 

Suddenly, a shout in the night, then a burst of light - they rushed towards the sound to find Rolan circled by shadows, their necrotic energy weakening him with each passing moment. Before the logical part of her could strategize, the careless side of her took over and ran towards Rolan and his attackers, sword and light swinging in both hands. 

“Get back!” Wyll was close behind, Eldritch Blasts firing from his fingers; in the distance she heard Gale’s voice invoke a flurry of fireballs.

“Duck!” Someone grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, pushing her - she felt a bolt of heat pass her by, and her teeth punctured her inner cheek as her head collided on the ground. She barely registered that the blood she was tasting was her own before something yanked her backwards, a death chill gripping in her bones. A faceless monster was dragging her towards the trees - reflexively, she thrusted her blade in the thing’s head - it shrieked and recoiled and she got back up, focusing on her breathing like Gale had taught her.

“Ignis!” The flaming figure turned to ash, and she ran back to her companions to find the three men caught between two large shadow creatures. She could see Gale struggling to focus, his grip on his spell less assured than usual, and Wyll’s blade not quite as deadly as it ought to be. Shit. She had foolishly assumed that she would’ve been the weaker link, but if neither of her friends had slept or rested last night, they were also bound to make mistakes.

And mistakes would prove deadly.

If only Shadowheart had been with them! She knew how to repel the darkness, she could’ve engulfed them in her radiance, she— wait! Her radiance! Frantically searching in the bag tied to her belt, her fingers closed around a bottle - light, fragile, and perfect to throw: Holy Water. She took one step back and threw the vial, which described a perfect arc in the air before exploding at the feet of Rolan, all shards of glass and radiant water. Enough to momentarily stun the monsters, enough for her to come rushing with her sword and her flaming torch; enough finally add one decisive number to their forces.

In an instant it was over. After all the yelling and clawing, a strange stillness fell over them again. 

“Rolan!” She turned towards him, her heart racing. He looked unhurt, at least, he looked-

“Gods damn it! I can do nothing right! Not a damn thing!” His voice broke and Tav stayed back, panting. Her ankle hurt - everything hurt - and she could feel the blood pooling in her mouth. For some reason, that was enough to make her snap, her concerns for his state abruptly overrun. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“I was looking for Cal and Lia, what else?” He spat, furious. “Instead I found myself cornered by shadow-fiends and in need of rescue, from you of all bloody people!” 

She let out a grunt - what was his fucking problem? Why couldn’t he act like a normal person? 

“Oh yeah? Well, sorry that I didn’t leave you to fucking die like an idiot!” She yelled the last word with more venom than intended, but she couldn’t help it. She was so done with his bullshit, with his attitude, with his fucking stubbornness that almost killed them all. “Sorry my friends here risked their lives to save your ass!” She took one step towards him, but felt two warm hands pat her shoulders, gently holding her back.

“What Tav means is that we’re glad you’re safe”, said Wyll, ever gentlemanly.

“And that it’s admirable that you were trying to save your family”, added Gale, very politely.

“He knows what I mean” Tav hissed back, crossing her arms and challenging the tiefling to escalate the argument further. To her surprise he deflated, his arrogance melting like snow in the sun. Laying down his armour, giving up; all things she did not expect him to do.

She tried to repress the involuntary pang of guilt that bloomed in her chest. Fucking wizard. 

“I failed them again.” His flaming gaze met her and she was taken aback at the distress that shone in his pretty eyes; at his heartbreak, his mistake. Something equally agonising stirred inside her in response, yearning to sympathise— no. She pushed back all unwanted thoughts, focusing on her frustration instead - the only thing that mattered right now, though it was becoming harder by the minute to stay mad at him. 

“What good am I if I can’t do this… this one thing?” Fuck. He looked so utterly sad it made her sick. “I’ll return to Last Light… I know when I’m outmatched.” 

“Wait. Gale will accompany you,” she blurted out. 

“I don’t need an escort, I think I can at least walk back on my own.” 

She huffed at his nerve to look outraged at the suggestion. Of course he would. Of - fucking - course. She pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling slowly. 

“If I save Cal and Lia and you’re dead outside the Inn because something attacked you…” Her sentence faded in silence, leaving it up to his imagination to fill in the blanks of her threat. She half expected him to agree with her, but he gave a dark chuckle instead.  

“You still don’t get it, do you? Their safety is all that matters.” 

For a moment they glared at each other - bloodied, bruised, pained ; a quiet assessment of their remaining strength; a test, a dare. And there she saw it - under the moonless sky, lost in a horrific wasteland: the look on his handsome face that told her all she needed to know. All the unspoken words that echoed louder in the silence: I don’t care if I die, but they must survive.

She could have slapped him. She could have kissed him. 

Or maybe it was just her own bitterness wishing it had been about her instead.

“Fine. As you wish,” she relented, too tired to fight him. She did get it, though - she got it so much it tore holes in her heart. The only way to move on was to not dwell on it: not now, and hopefully not even later; not even if it made her mean, not even if that quiet resentment gripped her bones and poisoned her mind. “At least take this.” She handed him her torch, somehow intact despite the fight, and a healing potion. He stared at her blankly, a rejection already forming behind his dark eyes. 

“Take it Rolan,” she ordered before he could speak, her tone cold and commanding. Her patience with him was running thin: she would suffer no refusal.

Hesitantly, he grabbed the potion and the torch; his fingers grazed hers, and in his ghost touch she felt his warmth. He nodded curtly then, and without uttering another word, started walking away. 

No one spoke until he was out of sight, until she was sure she didn’t hear any sounds of combat.

“What now?”

“Well,” she said. She could discern the ominous towers of the fortress in the distance, their malicious aura pulling at her curiosity. “Since we’re here, we might as well take a look.” 

— Read the rest on AO3 :)

(c) divider by saradika