#fighting Hikaru cause I love him more idc

[chronicoverthinker]

A character analysis of Yoshiki cause he’s very dear to me 😔

I genuinely hope that as the story progresses we’ll get to learn more about Yoshiki’s father and the dynamics in the Tsujinaka household. Even tho we still don’t know the details we can see how much his father’s abusive tendencies ended up affecting Yoshiki , and mokmoklen is truly able to bring it out in a subtle but magnificent way in the things Yoshiki says , both about himself or others , and also in his relationship with “Hikaru”.

So, I’m not a psychology major myself but from personal experience I believe that Yoshiki presents symptoms of the so called fawn response. Fawning is also known as the “please-appease” syndrome, being mainly associated with people pleasing and codependency (see where I’m already going with this?). Usually these people seek safety by pleasing others as a way of avoiding conflict.

A possible reason as to why people might develop this syndrome is because they grew up in an abusive environment when they were little , maybe seeing one of their caretakers have outbursts of anger (we know that Yoshiki’s parents used to argue to such a degree that neighborhoods could hear them + if I remember correctly it is stated in the light novel that his father always used to slam his hands on the table and such).

As a consequence of this , he learnt that being good and pleasing his father would be the only way to guarantee his own survival. We see this happen in one of the flashbacks where his father grabs him (rather forcefully may I add) by the arm and Yoshiki just let it happen , knowing it’s best not to say anything. Even tho we can see how uncomfortable he looks with his father around.

People suffering from fawn response also have a hard time saying no , feeling guilty about expressing their own needs and feelings. Since growing up in an environment where you have to constantly walk around eggshells with others and where communication has never really been a thing , the things left unsaid make these people start believing that THEY might be the problem.

We see this happen in ch. 7. Now , I know that people will probably have various interpretations of THAT specific sequence of scenes , but personally I interpreted it as a metaphor for attempted r*pe or violation of some sort , with “Hikaru” trying to claim Yoshiki in the only way he knows , because he aches for him so damn much but he realizes that stealing Hikaru’s identity doesn’t make Yoshiki his in any way. He’s different from Hikaru and he can’t and shouldn’t expect to occupy the same spot as Hikaru previously did.

And even tho what “Hikaru” did is horrible , Yoshiki is still the one feeling bad about RIGHTFULLY trying to set some kind of boundary with “Hikaru”. He feels like HE is the one that should be apologizing for being harsh with him.

This brings me onto the next point which is being self-sacrificing , with Yoshiki quite literally feeling guilty for all the deaths happening most probably because of “Hikaru” and even deciding to share the burden of his possible next killings with him. Plus I would also add in what he said in ch.21 , where he literally states that he would give “Hikaru” his whole EVERYTHING if it meant that he could live somewhere as he pleased. He’s always thinking about others’ needs before his owns , deciding to share burdens that don’t have anything to do with him and he shouldn’t be carrying.

Other obvious trait very common in people suffering from this condition is having codependent relationships , which perfectly describes what he has with “Hikaru”. Hikaru is no longer here , so I’d rather have a fake around than having to live without him. This is what he says more or less in ch.1 , and it’s actually so heartbreaking to hear because Hikaru was quite literally Yoshiki’s light and source of comfort. He was the one always protecting Yoshiki and taking care of him. So when “Hikaru” goes “I bet you were crying not wanting for me to leave you” it is actually true , Yoshiki is no good without Hikaru! (or at least that’s what he thinks , but I swear you are baby 😭)

And even tho in ch.21 we see his journey of processing his grief for Hikaru’s death finally ending, he’s now becoming even more attached to “Hikaru” and getting all worried when he started thinking that maybe going back to the mountain might be the best option. You can clearly see his distress as he says “Didn’t you finally find the place you belong? You can’t do that. Let’s find another solution together”

Another thing is obviously the fact that he hates being scolded , especially when he’s so well behaved all the time like mokmoklen said.

I would also like to add the fact that he thinks so lowly of himself when he’s actually such a caring and kindhearted person. He says that he’s not sweet , and that he’s as hard on others like he is on himself. But as soon as Asako feels insecure about her hair he goes “I can definitely ask my mom since she’s a hairdresser” , we can see his kindness in the way he cares for his sister etc …

Anyways this was just me rambling about him because mokmoklen is able to write such beautiful characters and Yoshiki is literally my son