#fingers crossed im one of those people who mysteriously don’t get covid even with close contacts but ive done that more than once already
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i miss hanging out w puppies
#we were potentially gonna foster some but shit came up#they were cute too. little German shepherd puppies#im gonna be quarantined in the basement for break now so my brain is just kinda. focusing on the puppy pictures in my camera role ig#the trauma is coming back to bite me babes#when u don’t see anyone for over a month and finally pull ur finger out bc it’s not healthy to be isolated n instead the responses to trauma#which uve been beating back with a stick so you don’t#become agoraphobic but instead shit happens and the trauma responses get More Intense#fingers crossed im one of those people who mysteriously don’t get covid even with close contacts but ive done that more than once already#and i don’t think ill be that lucky again. i hope so and i pray so but im being logical about this#also though a bunch of stuff i need for college is gonna be pushed back too which. not sure what im gonna do about that#im most upset though because i won’t be able to celebrate Chanukah with my family. or alone really. i kinda struggle to touch or interact#with certain things because i feel dirty and don’t want to touch them if i could be sick bc covid already took enough from me and affected#enough in my life so it’s not right for important objects or my religious practices to have to potentially come in contact with it#yes i understand that’s deeply illogical and also a relatively unhealthy mindset but i already had one of my favourite holidays taken from#me so let me have my trauma and unhealthy mindsets at least#i get to watch a lot of hockey and if i feel ok im gonna study but at least ive kept up with a lot of the covid studies and news so i know#that i have to take it obnoxiously easy to reduce my risk of long covid#especially because i love what i do but im able to do that only because i know how to work with my body properly in order to succeed#while still being disabled even in more physical situations#im also more at risk for long covid because i already have issues. gdwilling if i get it i’ll be fine after but if im not then it could#literally fuck up my entire life plan and life course el oh el#so anyway.#vent tw#covid tw#when ur staying in the basement where you stayed when ur dad first got sick so almost every memory of ur dad having covid and continuing to#get worse is tied to where u have to stay for all of break. im totally normal and definitely not reliving the worst two months of my life
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