#fire emblem stop making only the villains ugly challenge

[ro-botany]

Since I don't want it to be stuck in Debate Hour Jail forever, today I bring you a Hot Take(tm):

Validar would be a good-looking guy if IntSys stopped making him gray.

My evidence?

I UN-GRAYED HIM MY DAMN SELF, SINCE THEY WON'T.

In both Original Sinister Eyeshadow flavour and the ALL NEW Slightly More Chill Eyeliner flavour.

...Okay, okay, so I changed a few things aside from just the skin tone, but it genuinely does not take much to make him good looking. Here, Ana even made a side-by-side comparison! Do you see how little changed!!! And yet how much better he looks!!!

The philosophy with Validar's design, as far as I can tell, is to make him look genuinely inhuman to sell you on how irredeemably evil he is. To make him look dead, keeping in theme with his role as leader of the apocalypse cult and known controller of zombies.

That's where you get the gray skin tone. The lightless eyes, the vertical slit pupils. The lack of eyebrows that makes his expression harder to read. The way the sinister eyeshadow shapes his face. The weird ass impossible wrinkle on his forehead. It's to make him inhuman and hard to read. And beyond that; his long face and willowy proportions are a pretty far cry from most of the other characters in the game, the ones intended to be attractive.

HOWEVER. IF YOU JUST... MAKE HIM LOOK HUMAN, AND CHANGE NOTHING ELSE.

THIS IS WHAT YOU GET.

Literally all you have to do is:

Give him an actual human skin tone

Give him back his eyebrows

Tell him to stop squinting 24/7

Make the wrinkle on his forehead plausible instead of whatever the fuck it does in canon

Round out his pupils and put a little shine in his eyes

And very suddenly the man is, dare I say, handsome.

Willowy proportions, slim face, and high cheekbones are not inherently bad-looking traits. It's genuinely JUST the eyes and the skin tone that ruin his looks. Hell, even the eyeshadow can stay once you fix those things. Look at him. Look me in the eyes and tell me Edited Validar wouldn't be a niche but beloved tumblr sexyman if he were canon.

He's so close to being pretty. His personality and moral values are absolutely rancid. But his face ain't.

ALSO CAN YOU IMAGINE if the default Robins looked a little more like him? They would look GOOD. WE WERE DOUBLY ROBBED I TELL YOU.

[lord-dusk]

Jurassic Emblem-Chapter 16

“Oh yeah! Let’s see how long that Ylissean spunk-bucket will las-AAGGGRH!! YA BASTID--!!”  - Dmortri, 3 milliseconds before Chrom snapped his neck.

“Wind or rain, life or death, I will fight my lady Yuwi’s enemies until the end-oh. Shit.”- Edelgore, her first and last line when Chrom sliced her with his move Emmeryn’s Evisceration.

                        ��              ~~~~~~~~~

 “Chrom-san of ex-Ylisse. What are you doing? While condemning our troops in a blood gore-nado is a very effective method for acquiring experience points, it will make the war more difficult for each soldier that falls into hell.” Teba said, mounted on top of Amirg, poised for battle.

“What right do you have to talk to me, Whore-shidan,” Chrom growled, his psychological limiter gone down the drain hours ago. “even if Lucina is dead, I’m going to sell your eyeballs and hearts to Anna!”

 “Ysae, ysae, won yeh,” Amirg the Indominpteryx teased the fuming blue-haired man. “won rof...evila si lirg ybab dellik-ton ruoy.”

“Dda thigm I fi, ssenisub evitarcul eht etuiq si noitatiolpxe dlihc hguoht,” the backwards-speaking dragon chuckled.

“Shut up, you heinous hybrids! Hand over Lucina if you want to see another day ever again!” Blue demanded, perched on top of Rexy’s ginormous head.

  When Basilice had flown over to the raptors in ex-Ylisse that Amirg had rescued Warbler and Teba earlier, they can only imagine the immense rage Chrom felt when they told him the unfortunate news that occurred after the boss fight with Sobek and Gorgonorhea.

 Almost any parent is willing to murder others if it meant protecting their progeny, Blue thought, but the way Chrom displayed his resentment for the forces that kidnapped his daughter....it was simply terrifying. It was as though no sentient organism mattered to the man other than his daughter, and when Sharena attempted to calm him, Chrom grasped the poor girl’s face and crushed it with his angry fist until pieces of skull and brain dripped unto the floor. All the other Heroes kept their distance and even Zero for all her penchant for killing admitted she found Chrom’s behavior very disturbing.

 He had ordered everyone to rout the enemy at all costs. Chrom insisted that Rexy, that giant brown lizard, be able to fly one way or another. And as everyone knows, the tyrannosaurus rex may be closely related to birds, but it’s not exactly a grackle hopping on a telephone line.

So Delta, the bespectacled raptor, immediately got to work on making the King of Nublar fly. She thought of everything she could. Basilice wrapping around Rex? It was like lugging around 40 pounds of rock on your back. Having him sniff pollen from the Flower of Mila, a plant reported to evolve a creature into a higher form? Even villains barely knew where it grew.

So that left Delta with building a jet-pack. A jet-pack that had to meet the following criteria. It had to be able to support an 8-ton dinosaur, be relatively easy to use(what with Rexy’s vestigial arms and all), and be fueled by some sort of energy.

With only 66 hours to prepare, Delta drank lagoons of coffee, created canyons of balled up sketches, and was just about to check out when she spotted her frisky sister Charlie playing Hangry Human on her Nintendo Switch.

 That gave her the brilliant idea of designing a jet-pack that not only had controls Rexy could use, it was powered by the souls of whatever Rexy ate.

 Sourcing the necessary materials wasn’t hard; around the outskirts of Askr’s forests were caves lined with iron. Rexy, Sobek, and Grandpa Havoc were all too happy to help carry some of the raw materials back. And Gorgonorhea helped to melt the iron into shape with her pyrokinesis. Not to mention the fact that said iron-caves were filled with dark-purple amethyst jewels that dark mages use to infuse with the souls of victims and though Blue and Echo didn’t really felt like collecting some, gasoline and solar power wasn’t exactly used in 1648 A.D.

Eventually, Rexy had tried on the prototype jet-back, buckled on the straps, and pressed the buttons on the control sticks to fly. And surprisingly, it worked. A few lifts and falls here and there, but by the third attempt, Rexy could soar the skies above like the doves that his coelurosaur relatives had evolved into.  When everything was literally up and ready, Delta had picked up a spell-book from the room that used to belong to a long-deceased tactician and found it not too tedious to learn a couple of offensive spells, including rapid-fire bolts. She had hopped unto Rex’s back, Blue climbing onto the tyrannosaur’s head, and Chrom hanging on the Rexy’s feet. As the four of them rose off, Chrom had commanded the rest of the Heroes to pulverize Yuwi’s forces on the ground and spare no survivors.

                                            ~~~~~~~~~

Undoubtedly, the dinosaurs and the ex-prince were only 20,000 meters into the air and already they were goons to destroy: pteranodons, dimormetrids, and witches. Not the witches with the trademark pointed hat or the flying broomsticks, but mind-broken girls wearing a masquerade mask. Delta launched her rapid-firebolt attacks at the goons, and as if to return the favor, the witches fired back.

 Those bird-bats were quite easy to murder. They were either blown apart from Delta’s firebolt attacks or Rexy got close to them and cleaved them up in his jaws. As the pterosaurs’ blood dripped down Rexy’s chin, his jet-pack glowed brightly in the sooty-grey clouds, the souls being burned for fuel consumption.

The witches were a bit more challenging to kill, but ultimately no different than the pterosaurs. Delta realized at the witches were at their most vulnerable when they just fired their attacks, and consequently, rat-tat-tat-tat-tat. Broiled intestines, arms, and heads of the witches were flying past Rexy as they spotted Grima the Fell Dragon-or at least, a gargantuan airship modeled after her.

They landed with a loud thump and Rexy, Delta, Blue, and Chrom were given the most amiable, most warmest, hospitable welcome from raging genetically-modified soldiers and hybrids alike.

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~

 “Noitidnoc eno no-ssap uoy tel ll’I kniht I, Morhc tub, stna dna sehcaorkcoc sa emas eht era snamuh yas yeht.” Amrig said.

Chrom smiled, albeit a wicked one. “Do you think I need your permission, you ugly-ass, backwards-speaking, inbred reincarnation of my ex-wife? Sweet Naga, you look even hotter than the last time we met.”

The stegocephalian samurai spoke up. “My affliate here is trying to say that if you can prove yourself worthy of defeating the heads of this fortress, you may be able to see your child again, though to be fair, unless she receives the proper medical attention, she will most likely perish within 24 hours. I’ve done all I could to stop bodily atrophy, but, you know villain hide-outs. Cheerio.” Teba, on top of Amirg, flew off.

Blue leapted off Rexy before the tyrannosaur followed suit of the flying white dragon. “You know, I’ve always wanted to fight alongside this world’s version of Owen Grady, my papa.”