#flash forward to several years later when they get married and Penny totally makes a speech about their first meeting

[silverstarfics]

Here’s my fic for @thunder-pride​ lesbian day in which Kayo and Gordon are disasters and Penelope is just very confused.

AO3 link

The first twelve years of Kayo’s life passed blissfully unaware of all the complicated aspects of identity. She had a vague idea of romantic love and had already decided that she wanted nothing to do with the notion for a number of reasons but mostly because the idea of kissing a guy was gross.

Besides, she had to put up with enough boys at home where her brothers were loud and annoying and did disgusting things like dare each other to eat bugs or (even worse) Grandma’s cookies. The boys at school were even worse - at least her brothers could be nice. So, no, she was quite happy by herself thank you very much.

And then Gordon chose to watch Pirates of the Caribbean for movie night and she was introduced to Elizabeth Swann.

Kayo wasn’t sure if she wanted to be with her or be her. She was everything; beautiful, clever, feisty, could handle herself and okay, so maybe the idea of kissing Elizabeth Swann sounded quite nice actually. This posed an issue because girls weren’t supposed to want to kiss other girls… were they?

She stuffed her mouth with popcorn to give herself an excuse not to talk and proceeded to ignore those feelings, which worked brilliantly until several years later when a certain Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward smiled at her for the first time and a swarm of butterflies immediately materialised in her stomach.

Oh no.

In her defence, she wasn’t entirely oblivious. She had come to accept the fact that she was attracted to women even if the idea still scared her. She was different enough already, what if this was the final straw? Sorry, you’re too much. God, no. There was a reason why she’d tried to repress her feelings for so many years with the exception of one high school party featuring underage drinking and fumbled hands in a dark room with one another sworn to secrecy.

Unfortunately, her sexuality was the one thing she couldn’t run from, as was fast becoming clear as her vocal chords spontaneously decided to strangle themselves. She opened her mouth and let out a curious squeak.

There was a flash of something in Penelope’s eyes. “Are you quite alright?”

“I…”

John had once rambled about event horizons. It was the boundary around a black hole beyond which no radiation or light could escape; a point which no longer affected the observer. Kayo absently wondered whether she could fall into her own event horizon if she internally cringed any harder.

Um, hello? Voice? Brain? Form words, please.

“You’re nice. I mean, it’s nice. To meet you.”

Oh my god. Kill me now.

Penelope frowned.

“I don’t mean that you’re not nice,” Kayo hastily amended. “I’m sure you’re very nice. Not that I’m assuming. We don’t know each other yet. But I’d like to get to know you.”

Stop talking, Tanusha, oh my god.

“As friends. Not in a weird way.”

Oh yeah, totally saved it.

Penelope’s expression twitched as she attempted to refrain from laughing. “I look forward to getting to know you too. Something tells me that we’re going to make an excellent team.”

Kayo bit back her immediate question of what exactly do you mean by that? She imagined physically clawing back the words, locking them away in her chest where they couldn’t embarrass her. God knew she could already feel heat prickling across her neck which couldn’t be blamed on sunburn.

She wiped her hands against her jeans – oh my god, did my handshake seem weirdly sweaty? – and fixed a neutral expression on her face. Penelope’s gaze remained fixed on her and for a brief moment her world consisted entirely of impossibly blue irises until her heart sort of hiccupped and she was jolted back into the present. Oh god, why couldn’t she stop staring? She tore her gaze away and spied a distraction… or, you know, a victim. She had never been so glad to see Gordon in her life.

“Have you met Lady Penelope?”

It was miracle that her voice managed to remain steady. An even greater miracle was the way Gordon also forgot how to speak and promptly resembled a ripe tomato. Somehow, he made an even greater fool of himself than she had. At least she’d managed to stay on her feet. Really, it was Gordon’s own fault for wearing those stupid sandals everywhere; he’d worn down the soles so much that they caught on the slightest rough surface and sent him head-over-heels, such as right now.

“Careful!” Penelope caught him before he could faceplant. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, hey.” Gordon grinned wolfishly at her. “Looks like I fell for you.”

Yes, Kayo silently cheered. This is great! Keep embarrassing yourself! Make me seem like I’ve got my life together in comparison.

There was a brief silence in which Gordon slowly registered what he’d just said. That stern warning from Grandma that his mouth running faster than his brain would eventually get him into trouble suddenly seemed very real. He jolted backwards with a strangled yelp.

“I mean, uh, I- Thanks. I… have to go.”

“What a coincidence,” Kayo said sunnily, grabbing his arm before he could bolt. “So do I. We have… that thing.”

“Right!” Gordon nodded frantically. “That super important thing which we should definitely go and do. Like, right this second.”

Penelope stared after them, utterly bemused. “It was lovely meeting you!”

“Likewise,” Kayo called over her shoulder as Gordon dragged her out of the room.

Nothing was said until they had fled to his bedroom and closed the door behind them. Gordon flopped facedown on the floor and spread his arms like a grieving octopus, complete with a desolate wail. Kayo dropped onto the bed and drew her feet up to sit cross-legged. Maybe the sheer act of sitting in the lotus position would have calming properties even if she didn’t meditate.

“So,” she ventured after a few seconds of silence. “That could have gone better.”

Gordon made a vague, pitiful sound not unlike a dog when someone trod on its tail. Kayo was torn between laughing and screaming. She tipped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling with a heavy sigh.

“I’m a useless lesbian,” she declared.

“I’m just useless,” Gordon mumbled into the carpet.

She rolled onto her front and propped her chin in her hands. Gordon made no attempt to move from the floor which was a bold decision give his room could be considered a certified biohazard. Kayo could spy at least five wrappers and a mouldy plate from here alone.

“It’s fine,” she decided aloud. “She probably meets lots of people every day. I doubt she’ll even remember us by this time next week.”

“Really?”

“Nope. We suck.” Kayo buried her head in her hands with a slowly dawning sense of utter humiliation. “People make first impressions within seven seconds or less of meeting someone. She’s never going to forget us and not in a good way.”

There was another pause.

Gordon let out an exaggerated groan. “You know what I love about you, Kay? Your eternal optimism.”