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boxwinebaddie · 4 months

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raven for sure owns chunky af slippers that are like dinosaur or bear feet (he definitely has bunny slippers that's out of question) I KNOW HE WOULD WEAR THAT OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE, like roaming the streets of NY in his giant dinosaur feet shaped slippers.

okay, so listen: i just saved a pin to the stan board that really just encapsulates the energy of this ask perfectly. omg. cozy king tbh.

…but this is The Ask Ever.

This is the REALEST ask.

oh my God, this is my fAVORITE ask — tbh any ask about offstage boyfail cryptid celebrity ravenstan when he’s not in the deceptively hot sexy rockstar getup and is just in his civilian clothes and by that i mean the most obscenely embarrassing crusty musty dusty oversized, hole-filled, stain covered ratty ass stan marsh pijamas ever at all waking ( half asleep ) hours is my favorite ask bc i love my beautiful disgusting son — but ur so right about him fkn terrorizing the mean nyc streets in his crazy, chunky animal slippers like that is such a messy, unhinged offduty celebeauty king RavenStan Concept.

( which is honestly just a #stancore concept because horrifically dying of sudden sbf lovesickness chapter 9 pep!stan hobbled miserably to wendys house in his gigantic cringey novelty terrance & phillip house slippers so raven could run amock in his big fluffy a-list bender boy flipper slippers from faux bad boy hangover hell )

which, okay, i will say he probably does have a couple pairs ( he always has to have alternates at the ready bc he is my adhd angel baby and loses everything he owns bc he never puts his stuff back where it goes — shoes specifically, he litrally flings those fuckers off into the abyss ) and totally has the massive bear/dino feet…BUT!

all my stans are mermen and enjoy large bodies of water, specifically the ocean ( yes this is funny to me bc kyle hates/fears the ocean ). and i feel like he really likes…Sharks, for some reason? because they are cool and very misunderstood!!

( all leopard sharks do remind him of jersey btw <3 )

but with that said, i think the most iconic and signature ravenstan walk of shame slippers are these very cheap, cute but comically large cartoon memory foam shark slides that he ordered off the internet w the platinum company card when no1 was looking smh and also bought this gigantic matching shark hoodie…AKA...

The Shoodie and…

…smh….

The SharChanclas.

( yes, i’m crying. )

wHICH HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO WEAR IN PUBLIC BTW!!! management literally shits a brick anytime stan goes anywhere unsupervised bc he’s such a PR nightmare…i just know they’re shaking their heads bc how does the most drop dead gorgeous man ever with one of the most hauntingly beautiful voices of our generation go from looking like he sells out stadiums all over the world to sELLING CrAcK??? LIKE SHSJSK?!??

but u know what!!! everyones a hater tbh i am a lover of weird boy stan!!! if exhausted raccoon eyed dramatic crybaby anime eboy sharchancla stan has one fan ITS ME!!!! HES PRETTY TO ME! pretty fucking lame but I DIGRESS!!! HES CUTE!!!

like his big slouchy sleepy boy hoodies!! the metal teeshirts!! the little half up half down hot boy hair style!! ( i am Obsessed w it like when his hair is not all in his eyes and u can see them and his bone structure and his eye freckle and his dimples & stuff…truly…immaculate ) NOT TO MENTION THE BIG PANTS LIKE!!! ALL STAN WANTS TO DO IS WEAR THE GIGANTIC PANTS AND NO ONE WILL LET HIM!!! >:((( </3

sweet, swagless, baggy sweatpants stan being comfortable at home as himself and not oversexualized on stage as raunchy rockstar boy raven of cd means so much to me…I LOVE U BB.

my man did not die for you all to not let him LIVE!!!!! free ravenstan

BUT ANYWAYS!!! back to the sharchanclas which istg, stan just be rolling up to the studio at 6am like an hour late on Crim in the standana w the cat boy headphones around his neck, wearing the shark hoodie, the slip knot pijama pants and the fucking sharchanclas like sorry im late i didn’t want to fucking Come!

and management is like raven…what the FUCK are u wearing and he’s like ??? hello what do u mean?? the shoodie and the sharchanclas Obviously and they’re like tHE WHAT??-?/?/??/

HEEEEEELPSHAKSK THEYRE SO MAD AT HIM

they’re like raven u can’t wear stuff like that Outside you have to look Hot and he’s just PERO LIKE ITS SO COLD AND IM COMFY???

they’re like please tell me no one saw u in that!!!!!!! and he’s like dude *calls all of management d00d* no ofc not! i drove right here!!

*sweats* he’s such a bad liar sober im literally so

bECAUSE UPON CLOSER INSPECTION MANAGEMENT IS LIKE RAVEN IS THAT DIABLO SAUCE IN UR HAIR???????? OMG DID U STOP FOR TACO BELL??? AGAIN??? RAVENSTAN WE ONLY HAVE ONE HOUR IN THE RECORDING STUDIO U WERE 45 MINUTES LATE WE HAVE 15 MINUTES TO RECORD UR VOCALS WHICH IS BAD ENOUGH BUT ALSO U LOOK INSANE AND WHY IS THERE A TIKTOK OF YOU DOING DOUGHNUTS A RANDOM WYOMING TACO BELL DRIVE THRU !!! IN !!! THE SHAR—WHATEVERS!!!

and he’s like the sharChanclas!!!! >:(( and being a celebrity is so DUMB like it’s always noooo raven u can’t wear ur sick ass pajamas to the recording studio even tho ur super tired bc it’s unprofessional !! and nooo raven u know ur not supposed to stop for taco bell even tho it’s six am and ur starving like??? this sucks ASS bro fml ://///

( free raven…my man has millions of $ n literally just wants fast food and his weird silly temu purchases for five dollars and to SLEEP :( )

which he did…eventually go back to sleep right after he crushed that 15 minute recording session btw like he was sooo grouchy and sleep deprived still dropped fire in that studio i am obsessed with him he really did the bare minimum, produced a banger and was like LMAOOO OK CAN I GO NOW ZZZZ hsjskss

he’s such an icon…also i just know kyle is so fucking confused bc all the major google searches involving raven are like majorly edgy things like the Coke Scandal he backed kenny for so kyles like yeah whatever that tracks 4 him but then all these smaller articles just have him like w his acoustic guitar at the children’s hospital in silly scrubs taking requests from kids w cancer/making them laugh...

him carrying an old ladies groceries to her car and tying her shoes for her in the pajama jeans and the big sunglasses and getting kissed on the cheek, him dying his hair purple for domestic violence awareness month and reading that all of his slutty boy halloween shenanigans at last years shows were not just a sick cash grab but were all going towards women’s shelters and dv charities 4 his bday ;-;;;

and jerseykyle is like??? HUH????

is this photoshopped what the fuck is he Wearing but why does it actually not matter bc he’s smiling he looks happy he’s kind of glowing? Wow? and that’s so Nice??? and EWEWEWEHEJSK eW

my man is fighting demons and the demons are having a crush on a mainstream celebrity ALSO THE LOST LOVE OF UR LIFE HELLO???

whose clothes kyle Does steal when they’re Hating like 25/8, tyvm!!! like ok he cannot wear the sharchanclas but istg that man is guilty of coming out of his room in the blondies haus wearing the big orange stanime shirt and the shoodie and stans pj pants n his headphones humming cd under his breath, going to water suzie in the morning, responding to stans cute boy buenos dias mi amor~ <3 voice message and sending back the sleepy good morning zeeskiet :* how are u i stole the shoodie voice message AW cute...cringe...my boys

( i do think they send a lot of voice messages — stan cannot spell and kyle types like a crazy robot so it just works better but also it’s nice to hear eachothers voices esp when stan is on tour and uh there are definetely…various…kinds of voice messages some more incriminating than others…more on that later tho… )

AND EVERYONE IS IN THE LIVING ROOM FUCKING CRACKING UP DYING LIKE LOSING THEIR MIIINDS LIKE WOOOOW U JUST GOT CAUGHT SIMPING IN 4K IN THE sHOooDie BITCH!!! KYLE BROFLOVSKI DAWN SPAWN BREAKING NEWS SOUND THE ALARMS DID SOME1 HEAR A WHIP CRACK OR IS THAT JUST KYLE

& he Did threaten to violently kill everyone after that don’t worry…but what matters is that he did it powered by pure hatred and of course...

In the Shoodie <3

true love, true hate, same difference, right?

-uncle nina, captain of the weird stan ship and sharchancla nation

#im sorry this ask is really unhinged but for some reason #this just feels right to me #also sorry i do love making the pinterest collages like someones 45 year old aunt smh they are fun #also i love u weird boy stan w the pinned back hair and the big baggy clothes obscured from societys harsh glare #u are so beautiful for me u are so fucking strange and odd and i love you good for you baby #also hes so funny hes so bad at being a celebrity hes like dawg this is so whack i just want tAcO BeLl ://////////#anyways i hope u laughed #i am of sharchancla nation #i love stan #also i love cute domestic jersey kyle he is super evil on the outside bc hes actually so sweet and warm on the inside my bb #also yeah they do send a lot of interesting voice messages #no one hack into ravens icloud i beg omg #but listen something abt stan being like the most beautiful person on planet earth and also so fkn gross is so funny to me #like management was like wow he is so pretty and he can sing this is perfect and now theyre like HOLD UP WAIT ACTUALLY TAKE HIM BACK PLEASE

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