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#for those who dont know i'm retaking med exams
indestinatus
·
5 months
Text
why is life so hard
#for those who dont know i'm retaking med exams
#because i didnt pass them last year
#and im just so... sad
#because it's never easy
#why do all my friends get the life i dreamed of? and i stay here
#1) i dont have a job 2) i live with my parents
#3) my twin sister has a fianceé and lives in another country for gods sake
#can you name a bigger disappointment? my TWIN sister
#rock bottom. again.
#i promised i wasnt going to let my emotions play such a big part again but
#i just cant
#it's inhumane
#i do everything i can and i'm still dumb and i can't fix this
#and it's not even that hard i'm just not good enough for this
#sorry i needed to vent urgently
#yes it's all i've wanted and all i've dreamed of
#so i'll keep trying but wow. it breaks my heart
#i studied so hard. for so long. i did everything i could. it's such a hard lesson
#sometimes it's not enough
#sometimes it doesn't happen because I physically can't push past my intelligence
#i'm simply not intelligent for this
#i know i'm victimizing myself but wow i wanted it so bad
#i spent days dreaming about it and nights studying
#and to see friends get positions i wanted just breaks my heart
#always watching never participating
#yes i've learned when I was 13 i was way less intelligent than my sister but still
#this was such a different path from hers and i still couldnt do it
#now i have no idea what to do because it's a fortune every year to pay for these exams
#and i dont know if theres anything else i could do
#sofia rambles
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