#front: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

you all never loved me.

thank you for showing me that you guys don’t care a literal fucking shit unless it you guys having the fucking issues.

you are all assholes.

[t3rr0rbyt3]

WHY WHY WHYW HWY

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE BAD GUY. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE WEIRD. WHY DO I HURT PEOPLE, WHY DO I HURT YOU. DO I HURT YOU? DO I BOTHER YOU?

DO YOU LIKE ME? DO YOU LOVE ME? WHY AM I ALWAYS TH E ONE WHO HURTS YOU???

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. I DONT CARE. I DONT CARE. I DONT CARE. I DONT CARE. I DONT FUCKING CARE. I DONT FUCKING CARE. I DONT FUCKING CARE. I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD, I DONT CARE, I CAN FUCKING CARE LESS. I WANT TO RIP YOU APART. PLEASE GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

I HATE HAVING THE VOICES. I HATE HEARING VOICES. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

I HATE IT

I DONT CARE

STOP GETTING LOUDER

I DONT FUCKING CARE.

[t3rr0rbyt3]

my body feels like ice, my body feels like a large body of icey, cold water -- a large body of an icey, cold sea.

i dont know what to think, i dont know what to say.

i hate speaking up, i hate not knowing what to say. i hate knowing i have to provide an answer.

i have failed you, i am sorry. i cannot speak, the snow is filling my lungs and causing them to ache in coldness.

i feel cold. i feel like ice.

i dont know what i am anymore, i feel so chaotic, so untame.

i feel so wild.

i feel so icey. i feel so cold. i feel like how the ice surround the waters feel like, numb and with no feeling.

this this what i was meant to be? was i meant to be a figure of ice and melancholy? am i supposed to resemble the worst fate of ours possible?

please forgive me. please allow me to change.

i am sorry. i am sorry for failing you. i am sorry. i am sorry.

[t3rr0rbyt3]

HAHAHAHA I GOT A BETTER BOYFRIEND THAN YOU

HE FUCKING LOVES ME AS MUCH I LOVE HIM

THEY MEAN ABSOLUETELY EVERYTHING TO ME AND IF ANYONE GETS IN MY FUCKING WAY, I WILL RIP DOWN EVERY WALL, EVERY CORRIDOR, EVERY MOTION UNTIL I GET THEM

'

I AM FUCKING FINE, I AM FUCKING NORMAL, I AM FUCKING OKAY NOW THAT HE IS WITH ME

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i can’t help but feel angry and embarrassed

you are making me feel so fucking awful about myself and doubting myself and my system because of your stupid word choice

you literal idiot, i can’t fucking control what my brain does or not — that includes splitting people based on you.

do you really think i care about you so much?

do you think you live in my head rent free?

i’m trying to leave you and myself alone.

i want nothing to do you and i self destruct to get back at myself — so i can feel something.

so no, i’m not trying to “steal your personality”. this is just how my brain works.

[t3rr0rbyt3]

IM FUCKING SCARY IM SORRY

i’m sorry

i’m sorry

imsorry

i’m sorry please forgive me please

[t3rr0rbyt3]

IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY

iIM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU SCARED

IM SORRY FOR NOT LISTENING TO YOU

PLEASE TELL ME YOU LOVE ME PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME

PLEASE DONT FUCKING LEAVE ME

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i scare them

oh my fucking god i scare them

i knew it i fucking knew it. i scare them. im a monster. im nothing but a fucking monster.

im sorry im sorry im scared im sorry im scaring you. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry.

im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster

im sorry

i’m sorry

i’m sorry

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i just want to sob and claw my wings out

i just want to scream and bash my head against the wall

if you want to talk to me, talk to me please

please show me you love me

please show me your care

stop holding back.

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i’m sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

i’m sorry

i’m sorryy please talk to me please talk to me, i’m sorry i’m so stupid for not talking to you, i’m so stupid for not listening, i’m stupid i’m stupid

please

talk to me i can’t take it when you don’t talk to me

i’m sorry please please im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

[t3rr0rbyt3]

god they finally talked to me, they finally breathed with me. they finally craved my existence and appreciate me. i can finally be at peace once more. i can be as obsessive and possessive as i’d like.

i love you.

please don’t go.

i’ll eat you whole.

/r /pos /vent

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i feel like they are talking behind my back. they don’t love me they don’t love me they don’t love me. i hate everything. i hate myself.

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i feel so burnt out with everything and anything. i have no motivation to keep myself stable. to keep myself sane. to keep myself away from pain and hurt.

why can’t i have anything good happen to me for once? what am i doing wrong?

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i’m going to continue to hurt myself and self destruct until i don’t see any major improvement. you think i’m fucking joking? this whole body is covered in bruises because of me.

i’m fucking stronger than everyone else here in headspace. i’m going to fucking show you what self destruction really is.

[t3rr0rbyt3]

they all fucking hate me. they all want to break up with me. not even three people love me. not three at once. not three alone.

i’m unloved. i’m not meant to be loved. i was placed in this world to love and to not be loved. i was placed in this world to help people and to not be helped. i was placed in this world to feel like a angel that was struck down from the heavens above.

i make everyone around me violent. i make everyone around me depressed. i make everyone around me self destructive. i make everyone around me hate themselves even more. i make everyone around me disappointed in me.

you don’t love me. you don’t love me. you don’t love me. you don’t love me. you don’t love me. you don’t love me. you don’t love me.