#funnysmut
Note
Either it's just pure fluff where y/n makes fun of Theo for sounding like mario when he speaks Italian and it's this cute moment or y/n can make fun of Theo for sounding like mario when he speaks Italian and he fuck her brainless because of her "disrespect"
Oh my god this request made me laugh so much I had to do it. Mixture of smut and comedy. Which let’s be honest is my favorite thing to write.
Warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), degradation, rough sex, piv, comedy
“It’s a me! Marioooo!” You do your best impression of Mario with a thick Italian accent. Theo’s dark eyes glare at you as his mouth hangs open.
“What the fuck was that?” He asks impatiently and clearly not amused
“You know,” you say giggling nervously, “Mario brothers….Mario…plumber”
Theo’s face is rife with disgust and confusion. You try to explain but he holds his hand up silencing you as he left.
“She called me a plumber,” Theo said to Mattheo as they both smoked in the courtyard. Mattheo took a drag and tilted his head.
“Are you sure man? A plumber?” Mattheo asked shifting in the cold biting air.
“Some Mario plumber,” Theo said angrily.
Mattheo nearly doubled over laughing. He dropped his cigarette and had his hands on his knees as Theo watched offended.
“You know this plumber too!?!” Theo asked in outrage. He held up his hands as if cursing the entire world for his own confusion.
Mattheo wipes tears off his cheeks as he pulls out his phone to show Theo. Theo watches a video of the game and a clip of Mario talking.
“Ah man, your girlfriend is hilarious” he said grinning but Theo is already pitching his cigarette onto the ground. He storms off to go find you as Mattheo pulls out his phone to text.
Theo stumbles into the common room. Pansy and Enzo are sitting, laughing at something Enzo is reading on his phone
“Have you seen Y/N!?” Theo asked in an exasperated tone.
“Maybe your princess is in another castle,” Enzo said as he and Pansy burst out into hysterical laughter.
Theo’s jaw is nearly wired shut in anger as he stomps towards your dorm.
“Why did you compare me to some stupid cartoon man?!?” Theo burst into your room as your mouth hung open.
“Baby it was just…” you wanted to say ‘a joke’ but he cut you off. His mouth pushes against yours in a punishing kiss. You moaned in surprise as he knocked you over onto the bed.
His hands were eager, pushing up your skirt. Pulling down your panties, ripping off your bra as if he had something to prove. It wasn’t until he plunged his fingers deep inside you that he finally spoke.
“So disrespectful,” he muttered in your ear as his thumb swirled around against your clit making you gasp. Roughly, he curled his fingers rocking his entire arm making your mouth drop open. The two fingers punched at that spongy spot over and over until your back arched. Soft gasps turning into breathy moans and you felt a flood of pleasure snap in you. Before your body can stop reeling, you hear the zip of his pants eagerly being shed. Your eyes are still screwed shut, his hands wrap around your ankles dragging you to him across the bed as you pant.
“Baby…,”you mutter breathlessly, but his fingers plunge into your mouth. You gag softly as your eyes widen in surprise.
“So fucking disrespectful bella” he says as he pushes his index finger down on your tongue. You feel thick saliva choking you, you swallow and whine, “I have a better use for that mouth” he mutters in a low voice.
Even as he wraps his hand around your throat to guide it to his cock you can’t help but feel a buzz of excitement. The heat between your thighs is undeniable even as he thrusts into your mouth making you blink back tears. He notices the arch in your back as he fucks your pretty lips.
“That’s better,” he mutters as he leans over to grab a handful of your ass greedily. Feeling the vibration of your whimpers and moans on his cock leaves him feral. His finger grip your jaw as he shoves himself in one last time before shoving you back onto the bed.
His eyes are darkened but a cocky smirk remains. The half lidded daze he’s left you in spurs him on as he crawls over to you. Pressing his hands into the back of your thighs he hovers overs your pussy sliding his cock over your slick.
Achingly slow he pumps in making your eyes roll back, groaning at the sight of your mouth slack and panting. His pace quickens and you cry out his name as he mutters curses
“So fucking tight for me, I’m going to stretch you out so good,” his voice is laced with frustration and pleasure, “bad fucking girl”. As you throw back your head and moan loudly, it dawns on you that you should piss him off more often. Your hips tremble as your body tenses, the ragged breath escaping your mouth cuts through your symphony of whines.
He fucks you through your orgasm with a vengeance. You’re in heaven when his hands lace through your hair and tug your head to look at him.
“Still think I’m some stupid Mario plumber?” He asks with a sneer that somehow only makes you want him more.
Between breathy sighs you grin at him.
“No. You’re much too tall,” you say mockingly, “you’re more like Luigi”.
His mouth drops into an offended scoff but he only rolls you over so you can get on your knees.
It’s going to be a long night for you now.
#slytherin boys#hp fanfic#theo nott x reader#theo nott#theo nott imagine#theodore nott smut#theodore nott#theo nott smut#theo nott x y/n#smut#hp smut#slytherin#fanfic smut#funnysmut
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