#gduque

[tumblasha]

my skydiving will

a joke post bc i like being dramatic over nothing

anamp: all of my mob psycho / anime things, my spotify account asantoss: polaroid camera (instax mini 11), blasha (blahaj) gduque: my lil nas x concert program, first pick of my earrings lucykim: gray digital camera (kodak easyshare z760), my timberland sandals micosu: the job of giving the Letters to everyone, my tamagotchi, my pabllo vittar tickets moladipo: my rainbow-y kaleidoscope sunglasses, first pick of my books renge: pink digital camera (nikon coolpix s01), both of my doc martens

[tumblasha]

What was your favorite age growing up?

oo, a hard question. had to decide between 7, 16, and 20 -> after rambling for a bajillion words, 16 was the age that really stuck w me. below is a semi-edited ramble

(16)

disclaimer that my memory before age 16 is v blurry so. i might have some bias for it since it's the first one i can remember fully-ish.

i was a senior in hs! i was in love (sorta) [1]. i didn't know where i was going to college yet (was considering ou or tulane i think?). i was in choir (mezzo soprano, alto, tenor) and orchestra (viola, cello). i had rituals with my friends where we'd basically see each other everyday until 5:30pm

i was scared and sad for my future (i knew i was going to move to texas after hs graduation at this point), and i'd cry whenever i was alone w my (now ex-)bf because i loved everyone so much

at the end of junior year of hs, i went to my first big bonfire and burned my silly math hw. i vaped [2] and got drunk with my friends for the first time. i learned that Gay People Exist (outside of the internet) [3]. i felt so free to say "i love you" to individual people all the time (not sure what changed)

i was growing up and it felt like the feeling of growing up was going to end (wrong). looking back i was so severely sad everyday, but i remember Being so happy at the time (or at least telling myself i was?). i'm so inspired by young dasha being Stuck in this place and then leaving, going so far away, by the end of the next year (i haven't been back since)

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[1] in the five (5) years i was with this Guy i don't remember much of it, and now i don't feel comfortable being with men (non-platonically) except when making out with one at a club / party so uh. maybe a coming out post will be included in my future blogposts.

[2] vaped essential oils! lavender specifically!!! my conservative catholic high school "randomly" drug tested me three times my junior fall so i was kinda scared of weed :skull:

[3] saying this bc gay ppl were kinda illegal at school then lol. literally if u wanted to buy a "couple's" ticket to the prom, you weren't allowed to put names of the same gender on one ticket. forgive me if seeing insta posts of the current queer couples in my hs makes me shed a tear

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so uhh, thanks gduque for the ask. i hope i answered it okay!