#genuinely the fact that i can somehow have a crush on someoneninwas once ib love w is
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#my ego fighting tbis mindset change is so funny like .#why do u wanna suffer . why cant u accept the alternative.#i can putnitndown to like 3 reasons but srill . dont be mean ?#and the more inlike . can Feel the shifr happening the more i do wanna fight it bc#ive now grown accustomed to wtv life im living i sont wanna shake that . but Also#idk i feel insane n all of this is wild n injust . feel like a 16yr old girl again#but not negatively .#genuinely the fact that i can somehow have a crush on someoneninwas once ib love w is#yea Alright. n its based on Physical bullshit bc ive said 10words to him. but iv elistened to some conversatuons hes had .#n paid way too much attention to his pool games 4 it to b healthy .#im not mad sbt this predicamwnt bc i do also habe a weird feeling for my cowofker#who is also Very Unnattaonable too. but its chill im okay w this AFIDJDK#bc like . i do like wbat im doing w my life i do like . being single n having infatuations w ppl#its weird ones my ex n the others my cowkrker like thats a Little Fucked Up.#but . im not gonna . overthinl it . or like stress myself outnover it i literally CANT#i wanna smash my head intona wall . i cant even vlame this on bding isolated bc im taljing to a LOT of ppl#like im Out n About All The Fucking Time i am nrver Not socialising atp. but my God i am Insane .#theres also this constant wave of fucking giddyness wasging over me every so often like . Chill.#what do i Subconsciously know rhat my . comscious Doesnt.#n right as i start thinling abt that the All Too Familar stomach tug n throat close happen oh my god what is going ONNNN#anywat its fine its fine .
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