#girls go thru 1 heartbreak and start writing mini essays on the complexities of their relationship to feminism

[arkangles]

having recently turned 21 and also navigating a lot of rly difficult personal stuff i’ve been thinking a lot about how i’ve changed in the last few years and one of the things that has hit me the hardest is the natural fatigue that comes with being a feminist and the envy i have often started to feel towards women who feel indifferent towards the concept of feminism because there is something so inherently exhausting about being constantly aware of the systems in place against you and the fact there is so very little you can do about it. this also links to something i’ve been feeling very aware of recently but have struggled putting into words which is this feeling like my feminism will actually never grant me the empowerment it promised me as a young teenage girl. i had this feeling throughout most of my teenage years that when i hit eighteen i would be overcome with a complex understanding of what it means to be a woman and how to deal with it all when in actuality getting older just makes you more aware of how inescapable and crushing it will always be. i feel like i become a worse feminist every day. when i was fourteen i used to spend hours arguing with boys at parties at whatever asinine misogynist comment they had made and now i’m too exhausted and aware of how little power i have to change anyones mind that i dont even bother. i miss my teenage self and how angry she was. i want to feel that anger again instead of just being tired.