#glad if you guys didn't take psychological damage from reading that book but it still haunts my every waking hour

[quatregats]

Beloved mutual experiencing the pain of CS Forester writing things about Spain and I am relieving every single moment of reading Ship of the Line in vivid detail

[thelittlepalmtree]

I reread the chronicles of narnia over break and...wow is it christian. I do actually like the style which I have seen in other books like Coraline and The Tale of Desperaux. It also has that charm that I think we associate with modern fairytales. It seems perfect for your mother to read to you before bed which is exactly how I first experienced the series.

But now, as an adult, it feels so...simple. The sexism is insane. Not only in little jibes about girls not fighting, but also the strong stance against co-ed schools. And of course what happens to Susan is criminal she loses all of her family in one train crash and they literally laugh at her in heaven and basically imply she deserved it for wearing lipstick. Beyond the sexism, there's a strong stance for corporal punishment and having bibles at school. Of course there's the Calormen which on the audiobook all the readers tried very hard to avoid calling "color men" as that is essentially their prime feature. The implication being that these men are not human because if they were, they'd have every right to rule Narnia as much as the other characters, right? Although I suppose you could say the same for Archenland which is essentially the canada of Narnia world.

And let us not gloss over the strange relationship to imperialism. Narnia is not a land of men but it is a land for a man to rule? But of course, only if he is white and a follower of "Aslan" right? And of course, only outsiders are allowed any real part in the story. The only time the actual inhabitants of Narnia try to break away from their lion bases foreign theocracy, they are treated as dumb and stupid.

It's disheartening really that a series I loved so much as a child is one I would be uncomfortable reading to a child today. I don't even dislike the children so much it feel more like they've been taken in by a cult. Which, honestly, they have.

I still like a lot of elements of the series, but I wonder if it didn't actually damage my faith in some way. I have always been a faithless person. I never really believed in Santa Claus or God and so when I realized I didn't have to pretend to believe in them, I felt relieved. Even now, I practice wicca but I see it more as a therapeutic practice than a religious one. And the core tenant of wicca is "take what resonates and leave the rest", meaning I don't have to agree to something I don’t believe. I wonder if living in a home where there was no forgiveness for confessions of petty crimes and no warmth and a real fear of violence whether physical or psychological was so different from the world of Narnia that everything seemed like a fantasy. And the evil witches seemed more sensible. I wonder if CS Lewis could have understood a child like me, who wanted desperately to be like Lucy Pevensie but who grew into someone a bit more like Susan and even a little like Jadis. I just can't forsake my life on earth to care for a fantasy I have no promise of reaching. And was it Aslan that made the children good and kind and honest, or would it be better for them to have always been those things, for no other reason than that all children have that possibility? I wish the story had not gotten so pedantic, that the bad guys were not all invading brown men and powerful women, and non-believers. I wish that the people of the story were actually allowed to grow into people, and that a happy ending for them did not leave a person behind because she refused to be a child forever.

I don't know, obviously I have a lot of thoughts on the series. I think if I met Lewis, he wouldn't have liked me much, sadly. I am glad I reread the series, and it wasn't unenjoyable, it was just a little disappointing.