#goalrecon

[juliedeardorff]

Found some old progress pictures hiding on my desktop. Now I know why they were hiding! Everyone starts somewhere.

I’m posting these pictures because the most amazing thing happened at the gym the other day. From across the room, I overheard a new client tell her trainer: “I want to look like her.”

She was looking at me.

It broke my heart in the best way, because I’ve been where she’s at. I feel like I’m still there most days—still not where I want to be, still not liking my size, still not as strong on the outside as I feel on the inside. But then I overhear this comment from a stranger just starting her fitness journey….and it moved me so much.

I want to encourage this person and tell her not to give up. I want to cheer her on, push her on days she wants to quit, witness her small victories, and watch her reach her potential. I want to teach her the habits that have worked for me, the mistakes I’ve made so she can avoid them, and be there for her when she needs support. This is why I created my business; I wanted to help people as frustrated with their goals as I was.

When a woman in Kroger once asked me after my first figure competition, “What do I have to do to look like you?” All the years of failed training programs, injuries, diet trial & error, and a prep attempt disaster ran through my head, and I wanted more than anything for her to understand that the journey is different for everyone.

I wanted to tell her to simply start, and to not give up. Keep going at all the points you want to stop at. Be too stubborn to quit; want something so bad you don’t give yourself the option to fail; believe in the perseverance of the human spirit.

When people tell me, “I could never do that; I’m not disciplined enough.”, they assume it came easily for me; that I’m just naturally good at it, and always have been. The truth is, I can do it now because I was once the worst one at it! I just never gave up trying.

Success is not a destination; it’s a path we choose to continue on. It goes in every direction, all levels of elevation, and sometimes full circle. It is reflected in every decision we make. Never judge someone based on the chapter of life they’re on; they have chapters you know nothing about.

Whatever goal you have; however big your dream is, give yourself permission to believe in it. Internalize it; manifest it; make it so real you can see it. What you think about, you bring about.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give others is the gift of Belief; the greatest gift we can give ourselves is permission to succeed.

- Julie

P.S.

Things Trainers Need to Say: Never give up. Never give up. Never give up. You got this.

#liferecon #gymrecon #seeit #wantit #workforit #achieveit #tandemllc #hobbitmode #rarr #slayin #hardtokill #barrierbreaker #goalkiller #nevergiveup

[juliedeardorff]

“You son of a bitch, you tried to kill me!” “Well that doesn’t mean I don’t like you.” - Broken Arrow

I’ve always related more to villains than heroes. I’m not sure what that says about me, but there it is.

I think I relate to them most because they are generally misunderstood. And they get to wear whatever they want.

My favorite class in college was Psychology of a Criminal Mind. It was interesting learning about what motivated people to act in certain ways. Another favorite was Social Deviance.

In hindsight I probably should have just majored in Equestrian Studies.

Anyway, one study we looked at stands out in my mind: The rate at which law abiding people resorted to certain behaviors under high stress conditions was shocking.

The point I got from it was this: you never know what you or your fellow man are capable of when put under certain sets of circumstances, so understand more and judge less.

We all have our demons. Most are easy to face, but difficult to overcome. Sometimes we don’t want to overcome them; we become attached to them out of spite. We prefer to let things smoulder just to feel them. They are familiar; they are habit; they are a space fillers. They reinforce who we think we are.

I have more faith in humans than to label it as simply “Lying to ourselves”. I don’t think anyone lies to themselves; I think we know full and well what we’re doing but are just too hard-headed to fix it. It means changing ourselves, and we tend to be pretty full of our own virtue.

So how do we overcome demons we’ve grown comfortable with? How do we change sabotaging mindsets and limiting personality barriers?

- We stop giving them power over our emotions. - We detach from them and learn to let things go. - We stop taking things personally. - We surrender our egos, and rise above petty immaturity to gain a bigger view of the world and the universe. - We humble ourselves. - We give up the need to be right for the desire to see unbiased truth. This takes practice, because the truth often hurts the image our egos have built up in our minds.

I think the most significant source of our demons is simply our culture. We grow up influenced by social conditioning and commercialism that delivers this message:

1. “You are not good enough as you are. You need more to rate; do more; have more; be more.”

2. “Compared to others that have x, y, and z, you are nothing. Keep up the cycle. Keep up the debt, the feelings of inadequacy, the comparisons, the body dysmorphia, the judging based on everything except what you are.”

3. “Everything you do and say is wrong or flawed if it doesn’t conform to the status quo or fit other peoples’ expectations.”

Number 3 resonates with me the most; it was the pattern of my life up until it dawned on me. After that, I tended to do the opposite out of principle. I realized that I resented other people telling me I wasn’t good enough, so I aimed to defy their expectations.

This is a personal demon of mine. It’s one I have to let go if I’m ever going to find inner peace and grow. I’m aware of it; I own it; I cope with the consequences.

I also know I’m not the only one with this particular demon, which is why I’m writing about it.

If we don’t force ourselves to grow beyond our own egos, we become the villain in our own story, sabotaging our own efforts and happiness. It’s a limiting existence, and a waste of potential.

Understanding is the first step to overcoming. Do yourself a favor and own up to the demons inside you so you can let them go, and move on to worthier challenges.

-Julie

#liferecon #behaviorchange #demons #villains #barrierbreaker #egokiller

[juliedeardorff]

“We do what we truly want to do. If you truly want to change certain areas of your life, you will make the necessary changes in your lifestyle.” -Sharon Ramsey

People often have the same goals for years: get in shape, weed out, get organized, have more time, save money, get out of debt, lose weight, fit into old clothes, have less stress, follow their passions, etc.

For years I reached out to anyone I interacted with to help achieve their goals; I naturally assumed their commitment level matched mine, invested my belief in their potential, and ultimately tried to change their habits and behavior based on my own experiences.

In doing so, I discovered this: Goal achievement doesn’t work that way.

You can’t make someone be motivated; you can’t make anyone do anything long-term they aren’t ready for. You can’t travel anyone else’s journey for them.

In all my efforts to help people with their goals, I made a fundamental mistake: I was trying to help those who weren’t truly ready for the help. I had initiated every conversation about their goals. I had supplied external motivation to kick them in gear and then expected them to succeed using my methods.

All the belief in the world won’t get someone to believe in themselves and inspire change. It has to start from within, and it has to be on their terms and in their own time frame.

It took me a long time to find the courage to turn my passion into a business. I asked myself, “How can I expect to help people with their goals if I myself struggle in certain areas? Don’t I have to conquer the world first to rate guiding others on their path to success?”

What has changed since I asked myself these questions?

1) My mindset on perfection.

2) My desire to empower others was bursting at the seams. You can only hold back something inside yourself for so long before the dam breaks.

I challenge you to question the reasons holding you back from succeeding in your goals. If you’ve had the same goal year after year, ask yourself why.

My favorite rationality was from someone I had given a personal training package to at Fitness Together: “I’m waiting to get in shape before I use it; it would be wasted on me right now.” The kicker was that I understood what she meant; ego barriers get in the way of success a lot.

Fear is another barrier. Fear of what others will think; fear of failure; fear of success.

I’m not going to delve into other types of barriers; I’ve hit them all and could write a book on the mistakes I’ve made; I’ll likely make a better mistake tomorrow. What I will do is end with a list of things I wish I had internalized sooner in hopes it will help someone struggling with their goals right now.

Feel free to add to this list in comments; it might be something someone else needs to hear.

1. Practice unconditional self-love, self-respect, and self-kindness. Take care of yourself and make your well-being a priority. Don’t put your needs and happiness on the back burner.

2. Simplify your life. Eliminate anything that does not help you succeed. This includes things like debt, negative relationships, clutter, and self-doubt.

3. See yourself the way you wish others would see you. If you don’t see yourself succeeding, you probably won’t. Have enough self-confidence and conviction in your vision to stay the course. What you think about you bring about.

4. Stop punishing yourself for your perceived shortcomings. Stop putting yourself down. No one is inspired by self-depreciating comments and excessive apologizing; it’s exhausting to be around. Pay attention to your inner monologue and what you tell yourself every day.

5. You are responsible for all of your life choices and circumstances. Stop blaming anything else; stop making yourself a victim to feel better about mediocrity and failure.

6. Life’s not fair. It’s going to suck, some things will always be easier for others than it will be for you, you’re going to hit rock bottom, you’re going to have some very dark days. We are all experts at suffering on the inside for our own reasons. Our biggest mistake is assuming we are alone in that skill.

7. Hitting rock bottom is often the catalyst for change. When everything is falling apart, it may actually be coming together for the better.

8. Quit whining about toxic relationships that are bringing you down. Either choose not to participate in the drama, or remove yourself from the environment. Unfollow. You don’t need that nonsense in your life. Don’t become the things you hate.

9. Know the difference between helping and enabling. You can’t save people from themselves; most want your sympathy, but they don’t want to change. It’s not up to you to fix their problems, so stop trying to.

10. Follow your passions. They’ll never lead you astray.

11. When climbing a mountain, don’t lose yourself on the way to the top. Remember who you are, remember your values, and most importantly, remember who believed in you before you succeeded. Stay classy when success hits.

12. What other people think of you is none of your business.

13. You will always be misunderstood until you succeed. Don’t let it get to you. Let success be the vindication you need.

14. Don’t get distracted by petty things that keep you from your goals. Ask yourself if the things you’re worring about now will matter in a year.

15. Nothing worth it ever comes easy. The more challenging the goal, the more focus and diligence it takes to achieve, and the more fullfillment it brings. What you become and who you impact in the process is more valuable than the goal itself.

16. Never give up. Never give up ‎ Never give up ‎You got this.

- Julie

P.S.

“We are only confined by the barriers we create for ourselves.”

“Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. Let go of negative people, for they are the greatest destroyers of self confidence and self esteem. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.” -Marc & Angel

#liferecon #tandemllc #goalz #hardtokill #nevergiveup #barrierbreaker #uncensored #behaviorchange #lifestyle #habitcreation #goalcoaching #accountability #achievement #worlddominationstrategies #seeit #wantit #workforit #achieveit #satoriseeker #humanspirit #tellmeicant #r8 #justbecause

[juliedeardorff]

“Wolves can be socialized, but not domesticated and never tamed.” -Darlene Lynndale, CEO of Colorado Wolf & Wildlife Center

I’m not sure at what point between college and the real world I lost my social graces; I only know that I did. I swear I had them at one point.

Maybe it was working with Type A personalities that mistake kindness for weakness; maybe years of people pleasing backfired, and this is what it looks like. Whatever the reason, my social grace filter is gone.

I have horrible phone etiquette. It’s pretty brief. I don’t see the purpose of taking 8 minutes to say something that could be said in 1 text, and I don’t understand why ending a conversation has to take 3 minutes to be considered proper manners.

I’m really bad at introducing people. The way I do it makes perfect sense to me: “Hey! Bob, Joe; Joe, Bob. You guys should be friends.” To me, this is enough information for them to do the rest without assistance.

There’s a thing called ‘tact’. I don’t have it. I’ll just say it, and it might be accepted or not. It usually comes out louder than I mean it to, and it usually doesn’t fall in line with most peoples’ views based on their reactions – but I can promise you this: It’ll be genuine. It’s always real. Give me sincerity over pretending any day.

Sometimes I’m too honest; too upfront. This comes in handy for dating, when mystery is preferred over directness, and going after what you want is considered chasing. Apparently, as a female, I’m supposed to wait for things to happen, and simply hope the guy I’m into wears the pants, or notices my striking beauty.

Haaa.

Small talk drives me insane. I can’t even. Ahh.

I don’t see the point in filling the silence with automated speech for the sake of politeness. I just don’t. I’m not saying I’m a silent jerk; I’m saying talking about nothing drives me up the wall and I’d rather go skydiving. Seriously, does anyone want to go skydiving.

I no longer have the tolerance for insincere people, forced social interactions, or wishy-washy intentions from people who have no idea what they want. The need to conform to these social standards is gone.

Does this make me antisocial? Maybe. Depends on what your definition of antisocial is.

If it means I hate conversing with people, then no. People in general crack me up. Everything is funny because I choose to see the humor. Given my impressive command presence, I use humor as a tool to put other people at ease. Because evidently hobbit-sized girls who lift are really intimidating.

People rarely remember what you say, but they always remember how you made them feel. If I can get you to laugh or smile, my mission is complete. Even if it’s at my own expense. If you can’t laugh at yourself, then you’re in trouble.

I might jump back to a subject we covered an hour ago, because reflection brings new outlook. I refer to this as random glory, and I have a lot of it.

I might reference a movie line, and you’ll look at me like I’m crazy. That’s okay. I’ll wonder why that movie is missing from your life, and try to enrich it by educating you.

Some days I feel like talking. Some days I don’t. It really isn’t more complicated than that.

1) It’s okay not to talk. 2) There’s a thing called body language. Like avoiding eye contact, or wearing headphones while gyming. Or making a face that my buddy Ben Gadd refers to as 'RBF’.

I wasn’t always this way. I used to be pretty insync with normal, expected behavior. I used to have incredibly appropriate social graces. What the hell happened?

Life happened. I let go of caring what people thought as much is all. It was exhausting. If you can’t be yourself 24/7 under all conditions, I don’t see the point of being around people that can’t handle your true nature.

When I finally let go, the most amazing thing happened: It attracted the people who were meant to be part of my life.

When we act the way we’re called to act instead of the way we’re conditioned to act, freedom happens.

When we post things we feel like posting, behave in ways that enhance our character, and live life uncensored, it brings kindred spirits to our attention. It seperates encouragers from the doubters, dreamers from defeatists, and distinguishes those who build us up from those who hold us back.

I don’t want my social grace filter back. Instead of looking for it or buying a new one in silver, I choose to go on living without it. It’s not a bad thing; it’s a me thing. You can decide for yourself.

So here’s the take away, since my selective writing habits dictate that I wrap things up in a neat little package:

1. Be genuine. Be authentic. When society pushes you to act like everyone else, push back. Stand your ground. Resisting the status quo isn’t futile; it’s the point.

2. Decide for yourself if that was a Star Trek reference.

3. We’re all basically walking quirks, so own it. Don’t censor yourself. Attract people that can handle your truth, with the same mission as you. Be fearless in your search, and bold in your intentions. Those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.

4. Don’t be afraid to run anchor for your pack. You are always someone else’s pillar of strength whether you know it or not. Stay strong and run your own race.

-Julie. Jewels. Julz. DD. Buff. Beefcake. Biscuit. Sunshine. Smilie. Fun-size No-Weight Anomaly. Devildorff. Farm Pup. Me.

#liferecon #socialgraces #LiveLifeUncensored #tandemllc #slayin #lifecoaching #behaviorchange #mypack #hardtokill #worlddomination #WhereWereGoing #WeDontNeedRoads #rightbrooke? #R8

[juliedeardorff]

“It’s easy to win the fights that go your way right from the opening bell; it takes true courage & confidence to realize that things aren’t going your way, and to not give in to the critic inside us all.” -Eric Turner, owner of Knoxville Martial Arts Academy

I saw my first live MMA fight January 31, 2015 in Pigeon Forge. It blew my mind.

Isaac Fine had an 8 second knockout; Jason King had a 10 second knockout. Amy Coleman was just a badass.

I was impressed by the class shown by Isaac in the moments after his fight. I was an instant fan of Jason’s as he entertained the crowd with his personality and entrance music. Amy & her coach’s post-fight celebration showed me what a client/coach relationship ought to be–complete belief and trust in each other until perseverance finally wins.

I was all around just addicted to this sport.

Being apt to like violent sports in general, what was it about this one that lit me up inside?

1. MMA is the perfect contrast in a culture of sissys that incarcerates people for throwing a punch. And let’s face it: some people today just need their asses kicked.

2. It takes a unique combination of character traits to have the guts to step in the ring and put your ego on the line.

3. It taps into a side of ourselves that has been deemed obsolete by today’s standards of society.

I would say a primal side, but it in fact is not entirely; as Amy’s brother explained to me: if you fight with instinct & emotion only, you won’t be fighting for very long. You need a game plan; you need adaptable strategy; you need a shit ton of practice. You need people who support you.

4. I didn’t know how, but I knew I wanted to be a part of it.

Three separate people invited me to visit their MMA gym that day; all 3 were from KMAA–Knoxville Martial Arts Academy.

Here I discovered a kind of comeraderie I hadn’t found anywhere else before; not in other sports; not in law enforcement; not even in the Marines. And I didn’t even fight! They welcomed me anyway.

Their mantra: 10,000 hearts; 1 heartbeat.

I went to an Eddie Bravo seminar they hosted to learn more about my new passion, and also took a few lessons from BJJ ninja and fighter Chad Clark. As it turns out, I can’t sing, dance, or fight either, so instead I promoted events and cheered on amateur fighters as I watched their careers unfold.

Weigh-in’s were my favorite though, because people kept asking if I was a fighter. 🤗🤗

I had issues with the ring girls at first, until 3 of them befriended me and asked when my fight was. 🤗🤗

(Being made fun of for being small my entire life, I’m now happily susceptible to flattery of this nature.)

On January 21 of this year, I stepped into the cage for the first time. I was shadowing Mark Laws, the best Cutman in the sport.

What makes Mark the best?

With 14.5 years of experience in cardiac surgery and 3 years in orthopedic surgery, there isn’t much he can’t handle under pressure. Of over 300 people interviewed and stories submitted, Mark was 1 of 3 Cutmen chosen to be featured in the book “From the Fields to the Garden” by Jacob “Stitch” Duran. He is also the first American aside from Stitch asked to join the International Cutman Association.

If you ever watch Mark at an event, he will be doing physicals before fights, wrapping hands in between fights, stopping blood during fights, and resetting noses and doing actual stitching after fights.

It was impressive. I was hooked.

I was also honored that he was willing to share his extensive knowledge and skills of this craft with me. Not only is he fully devoted to his cause and to the well-being of every fighter, he has what Dave Ramsey refers to as the heart of a teacher.

Why does this job appeal to me?

- You’re part of the action, but the spotlight isn’t on you; it’s on the fighters, as it should be.

- You get to rub elbows with champions and interact with some of the most exceptional athletes and human beings you’ll ever meet.

- I’ve been conditioned from childhood to cheer about things like “First blood!!” and “Authentic battle damage!”. I blame my 2 older brothers. And violent sports. And maybe Mortal Combat.

-I have a natural tendency to want to fix other peoples’ problems; here I get to fix fighters so they can continue focusing on the most important fight of their life– the current one.

- Cageside seats!!

Moral of the story: Follow your passions. If something resonates with you, it does so for a reason. It means it’s somehow struck a core value that’s very important to you, and it connects on a deep level of your being. Pursuing it puts you on track to living a fuller & more fullfilling life.

Moral #2: When life presents you with a golden opportunity, take it. Some doors take a breaching kit to tear down; others open simply because it’s time for a new adventure.

#liferecon #cutmanchronicles #episode1#barrierbreaker #satoriseeker #slayin #goals #seeit #wantit #workforit #achieveit #Nevergiveup #datingstillsucks

P.S.

“Don’t push your punches.”-KMAA. Wise advice for both fighting and life.

“If I had to make a list of top three people I’d never want to be hit by, Isaac Fine is def in that top three.” -Mark Laws

“The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” -Bruce Lee

“For those who fight, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.” -Suckerpunch

“Son of a bitch! You tried to kill me!” “Well that doesn’t mean I don’t like you.” -Broken Arrow

“As soon as the fight is over…we can recite to you a complete poem on why we do this. It’s beauty. It’s just a different type of art. There’s something about this sport that takes a particular kind of individual and brings something out in them we didn’t know was there….this will change your life. This is why we do it. That one feeling. That one rush.” -Pat Barry

“When you are presented with an opportunity, don’t be afraid to take the risk and go for it. Even if it may seem improbable, or even crazy, believe in yourself. And if you decide to try to achieve something great, understand that it’s a process. It might not be easy. As a matter of fact, sometimes it might seem unreachable. Keep going! You never know where you’ll end up.” -Jacob “Stitch” Duran, 'From the Fields to the Garden II’

Dear Lord, let me do your will today. If that includes punching a ring girl cool; if not, please forgive me. @devildorff, a past tweet. Leah Scroggins, you know I heart you ❤️ 😂

[juliedeardorff]

“Preparing the right conditions in your mind will empower your efforts toward any important goal in your life.” -Mark Divine 

In the book Turning Pro, Steven Pressfield devises a list of habits and mindsets of Professionals vs Amateurs.

The Pro:

Shows up every day. Is committed to the long haul Is patient Seeks order/structure/discipline Demystifies/clarifies The stakes are high and real Accepts no excuses Acts in the face of fear/discomfort Is prepared Dedicates themselves to mastering techniques Does not hesitate to ask for help Does not take success or failure personally. Endures adversity Self validates.      Reinvents themselves Is recognized by other professionals Displays courage Is ruthless with themselves Has compassion for themselves Lives in the present Defers gratification Creates their own inspiration/motivation Does not make others an icon/does not idolize others Is happy to teach others; generous with knowledge Plays hurt/works when uninspired/ Doesn’t panic; adjusts. Acts from their own center instead of someone else’s Creates their own story The Amateur:

Lives by the opinions of others Lives by others’ expectations Craves third party evaluation Identity is tied to ego/self-inflates Is imprisoned by what he believes he ought to think, how he ought to look, what he ought to do, and who he ought to be. Is inauthentic  Easily distracted Fears solitude and silence Addicted and obsessed by what they want now/instant gratification Prizes shallowness; shuns depth Is jealous of others Masks self hate with narcissism Seeks permission Uses excuses/procrastinates Focuses exclusively on the payoff for themselves Buys into propaganda; follows hype Focuses on past and future to avoid having to do work in the present Gives their power away by idolizing others Compares their story to others

Are you a Professional, or are you an Amateur?  You might be some of both, but whichever side best describes you is the side that also defines your habits.  Decide how the person you want to be would act, then act that way. 

Mindset is everything. The rest is simply perseverance.  -Julie, goalrecon.com

[juliedeardorff]

“Innovation beats the status quo every time.” - Mark Hurd, CEO of Oracle

My newsfeed is being filled with attention seekers lately.

Not a complaint. Just an observation.

I asked my Saving Grace friend why certain people regularly make a circus of themselves on social media. “Validation.” She told me.

Validation- compliance in a social activity to fit in and be part of the majority; conforming to the actions of others within a group.

Sounds awful to me.

It begs the question: if there wasn’t a ‘Like’ option on Facebook, would these people still post the same content for the same reasons? 🤔

Someone told me recently that they were abstaining from all social media to “avoid negativity and drama”. I told them to go for it; it’s good to unplug every now and then. But here’s what I told them I didn’t get about their decision:

You choose what content you want to see; you choose who’s status updates are worth knowing; you decide whose opinions you want in your life, and whose pictures and life’s highlights bring you joy and positive energy.

If you see negative content, you probably have negative friends.

Unfollow.

If you immerse yourself in drama, you’re going to manifest a dramatic life.

If you fill your head with inconsequential propaganda, you’re likely going to exhibit inconsequential behavior. Harsh reality, or common sense truth?

Why fill your mind with things and people that distract you and take your focus away from your goals?

If you see someone’s post and feel anything other than uplifted, informed, or encouraged, ask yourself why you’re still choosing to see it.

It’s been implied that you have to play the game of this culture if you want to win in it; that you have to follow the hype. I call shenanigans. You shouldn’t have to follow the hype; make it so the hype follows you or they’ll be out of the game. Define your own standards of winning and stop being concerned about what other people are doing. Water your own grass.

I’m not saying burn bridges; I’m saying you shouldn’t need to use anyone else’s bridge in the first place. Who you know is important, but not as important as who you are. Be an influence, not influenced.

The result of your life reflects the standards you set; periodically check those standards in every area—including social media.

If you’re scrolling more than you’re posting, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re posting more than you’re living, you’re missing the point completely.

- Julie

#tandemll #goalrecon #liferecon #innovate #goalcoaching #accountability #behaviorchange #habitcreation #consistency #goals #hardtokill #seeit #wantit #workforit #achieveit #barrierbreaker #episode37 #satoriseeker #slayin #worlddominationstrategies #uncensored #humanspirit #R8 #justbecause

[juliedeardorff]

Grit- passion and perseverance for very long-term goals.

I had a disagreement with a brand development company over my slogan once: ‘Believing in people before they succeed’. In an Email exchange, I told them, “Well, you asked me to sum up my business in a single phrase; whether it’s marketable or not, that’s the heart of what I do.” They dropped the project after that, and I was redirected to another company.

Before that it was, “Believing in the perseverance of the human spirit.” I’m still kind of partial to that one.

The human spirit. What can I say, I’m a fan. I like to see what it can endure and overcome. I like to see it win despite unfair odds and legitimate disadvantages.

When a potential client asked me, “When did all this start for you? How did you get your start?” I didn’t really know how to tell him it was a process of failure over many years. Necessity begets ingenuity.

He had seen my profile picture (my first figure competition), and flattered me by inquiring about the kind of mindset needed to get back into working out again.

What he didn’t see was the story behind the picture; the other goals I had struggled with for years prior; the setbacks, the failed attempts; the conflicts; the uncensored side of goals no one sees on social media.

The human spirit is not programmed to quit; it is hardwired for survival. Goals that align with our passions and values are hard to kill.

My slogan isn’t ‘Failing is awesome’, but I do believe it’s the best way to sponsor yourself. It doesn’t win the battles you want, but it’s what you need to win the war. Anything that forces you to adapt to limitations is a good thing, as painful as it is. It just usually takes hindsight to realize.

Business Coach Christy Wright tells about her journey in a way that left an impression on me: “Whenever I tell this story, I get words of sympathy or concern, but you know what? IT. MADE. ME.”

Failure shouldn’t break us; we are resilient little creatures. It’s why I don’t have much sympathy for pity party mindsets and excuses to remain in a state of mediocrity—we aren’t designed for either. It’s also why stubbornness is my favorite quality; it allows us to persevere until we succeed.

If you want to rise above average, change your outlook on failure. Each time we persevere we grow stronger; more determined; each time we have a story to connect with others, and the power to impact the world.

Whatever your goal is, whatever challenges you struggle with, don’t give up on it. Don’t underestimate the power of perseverance. You were not made to quit; you were made to adapt and overcome. Recognize this law of nature and let it work in your favor. Never let short-term defeat affect long-term success.

- Julie

#liferecon #goals #hardtokill #behaviorchange #mindset #barrierbreaker #slayin #accountability #consistency #humanspirit #perseverance #goalcoaching #nevergiveup

Text ‘liferecon’ to 31996 to subscribe to updates and/or occasional inspiration 🙃

P.S.

“For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.” -Mary Kay Ash

“An expert has failed more times than a beginner has even tried.”

“Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly, but it doesn’t know that, so it goes on flying anyway.” Mary Kay Ash

The only thing worse than being underestimated is underestimating yourself.

[juliedeardorff]

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

My best friend tried to surprise me with skydiving for my 23rd birthday one year. I declined. I’d always wanted to skydive, but I felt it was a goal that was worthy of a preparation stage longer than the impulse of a moment.

That’s a classy way of saying I wasn’t ready.

Which is an ego-saving way of saying I chickened out.

Why do I want to go skydiving? Because it terrifies me. Why do I want to go with someone? Because doing something that terrifies you with someone who is also terrified forges a connection that only comes from sharing such an experience.

Skydiving strikes me as the most efficient way to truly get to know someone. It uncovers a side of a person that is rarely seen during normal conditions. That and moving furniture.

I do more than people watch; I look for dimensions in personality. I like the complexities. I like the variables. I like figuring out reasons behind certain traits, and understanding something I didn’t before.

We are not one-dimensional beings; we are multi-dimensional prisms that change day to day, moment to moment, in different environments and scenarios.

It’s why I think first impressions are bullshit, why assumptions are usually wrong, and why you should never underestimate anyone.

Human beings are silly creatures; Simple wants Simple needs Complicated reasons.

I love the adaptability of the human spirit. It keeps you on your toes.

It’s why I don’t like being rushed when it comes to dating. Aside from being a turnoff, rushing does a disservice to what someone has to offer; it defeats the whole purpose of getting to know someone. What people choose to show on the surface is only one layer; usually a hardened shell. Or a battle shield of cynicism.

We are cheating ourselves by not seeing other layers. We are cheating others by not showing our own.

We are so much more than the traits we choose to show each other. There are so many more layers than that. The fun part is discovering them in ourselves and others.

Feel complimented when someone takes the time to know your layers and recognize dimensions. It means they want to know more than what you’re choosing to show.

Being the sensitive, reflective type of person I am, here’s a list I’ve devised on how to dimension watch without skydiving:

1. Listen more than you talk. 2. Ask questions you would like someone to ask you. 3. Play devils advocate to see how someone responds. 4. ‎Observe people both in and out of their natural element. 5. Be perceptive. 6. Seek connection rather than agreement. 7. Be intrigued by evaded answers. 8. Notice things. Like evaded answers. 9. Appreciate strengths and weaknesses. 10. Practice empathy. 11. Meditate; create space to see with more clarity. 12. Understand more, judge less. 13. ‎Never interrupt or ignore. 14. Adopt a Socratic philosophy toward life: know that you don’t know. 15. ‎Let people be themselves without fear of judgement or criticism.

How to show your own dimensions:

a. Be yourself under all conditions. b. ‎Give mindful answers to personal questions. c. ‎Practice thoughtful detachment rather than numbing or being defensive. d. ‎Present yourself with defenses down, heart open, and a curious demeanor. e. ‎Be strong enough to be vulnerable; let people in. f. Vie for respect rather than approval. g. Always give people more than they expect. h. ‎Never defer expression or caring. i. ‎Don’t censor yourself. j. Be open and honest about your values, beliefs, and what you want in life. k. ‎Follow through on intentions. l. Act the way you want to feel; be the person you want to be. m. Live by example; model the behavior you want to see. n. Say what you want to say.

What I really want to say is this: It’s easy to make assumptions about people. It’s easy to form biased premises based on limiting beliefs. But it only limits yourself.

Life doesn’t always give you the people you want or wish for, but it gives you the people essential to grow in ways you aren’t aware of. Don’t miss opportunities to be impacted and influenced by someone’s dimensions. It’s not about finding someone new; it’s about seeing the same person in a new light.

Connection and influence is how we change the world. You can’t impact the world by holding yourself back. Never underestimate the power of the human spirit to surprise you. Do yourself the courtesy of giving it a chance.

- Julie

P.S.

"We are rare, not perfect.” -Mark Nepo

“Who you are is a gift to the world. Do not numb it, dumb it down, alter it, judge it, or destroy it.” - Allison Fallon

“None of us are easy to deal with 24/7. We have our flaws & odd ways of doing things that make us who we are. And that’s why people love us.” -Marc & Angel

“Everyone has flaws.” - Leah Rene Scroggins

“It’s during the toughest times of your life that you’ll get to see the true colors of the people who say they care about you. Notice who sticks around and who doesn’t, and be grateful to those who leave you, for they have given you the room to grow in the space they abandoned, and the awareness to appreciate the people who loved you when you didn’t feel lovable.” - Marc & Angel

If you’re going to do something, hold nothing back. In life, in love, or anything at all.

#Liferecon #goalcoaching #behaviorchange #dimensions #hardtokill #skydiving #goalz #tandemllc #worlddominationstrategies

[juliedeardorff]

Sometimes it takes dark times to see the light in your life. When the world is at its darkest, you see the things you can always count on very clearly; they shine like stars.

As my old posts come up in “One year ago…” Facebook feature, I’m reminded of things I once felt the need to express in writing. Gratitude is a recurring theme, so it prompts me to continue writing about it. Why? Because my degree of gratitude toward life continues to grow. I appreciate so many things I wish I could share with the world, and anyone who needs it. The most significant thing I’ve realized is this: It’s the little joys that add up to happiness.

It’s the yellow flowers that appear in my backyard in the morning, then close up when it gets too hot out. I stopped having my backyard mowed because I like them so much.

It’s talking to my Dad about things he cares about at this point of his life, and understanding that the things I worry about now will ultimately not matter in the slightest down the road.

It’s loving people unconditionally, no matter who they are, what group they run with, or how they treat you. It’s the peace you feel knowing the behavior of others won’t destroy your mindset; it’s staying true to your nature despite the nature of others. It’s not letting life change your heart when things get bad; instead, redirecting the energy to be the light in someone else’s darkness.

It’s a phone call or message from the guys at work checking up on me–a different world now since I quit that job a few months ago– and the feelings it brings to hear from them. It makes vision blurry as I pretend to hide it; talking to them strangely feels like home.

It’s watching what brings other people joy, and letting their joy influence my own.

It’s finally understanding the meaning of things; why certain things have been so difficult; why certain challenges exist; why you’ve been repeatedly tested and tested again. If your path is more difficult, your calling is higher; if you’ve been through a mess, you qualify to be the messenger.

I don’t have a “call to action” to end with. I just wish everyone would take a break from politics and petty issues to instead recognize the things in life that bring them joy, in light and dark times.

❤️ -J

[juliedeardorff]

There are 3 basic questions I ask people to get to know them better:

1. What’s your dream car? 2. On a scale of 1-10, how stubborn are you? 3. What kind of music do you listen to?

These aren’t Life Coachey questions; they are my questions. The answers themselves don’t interest me; the way they are answered does.

The music answer used to drive me nuts, until I was asked the same question once and gave the same cop out answer: A little bit of everything; it depends. Mostly on if I’m driving or not.

I’m about as musically gifted as I am at cooking, math, and land navigation. I can’t sing; I can’t dance; but I do anyway.

Music can change your entire frequency. Buying a whole album to get one song was always worth it to me. Anything that inspires you is worth investing in.

If a bad song comes on at the gym, I’ve paid trainers to change it before. If a good song comes on, that’s my cue to do the Snoopy Happy Dance. Even if I’m on the stairclimber. Or if there’s a surveillance camera present.

Some songs are Memory songs that remind us who we are and the moments that made us.

There are songs my brother played as he drove me to middle school every morning. He’d say “Jam with me, Jewels!” and I ruled the world the rest of the day.

There are songs I listened to with Susan Lunde on the way to soccer practice, and a song me and Kathryn Bray sang at a track meet once.

There’s a song my Dad serenaded me with on his guitar at a rehearsal dinner once, and the hilarious songs he occasionally writes, such as “Why All My Friends are Democrats”, and others that I’ve requested a CD of.

I like Sting’s older stuff, and I don’t care who knows it.

Boxer Rebellion because my oldest brother gave me the CD.

Jewel, Pieces of You because my other brother got me that one.

Smashing Pumpkins because I don’t need a reason.

Van Halen for so many reasons.

Lindsey Stirling, because she made her own genre with an electric violin that impressed the hell out of me. Someone posed to ‘Crystalize’ at the Knox Classic, and I about lost it.

Still waiting for love songs to make sense to me, so change it or I’ll throw a shoe at you.

Honestly.

There are songs I secretly want to slow dance to, but I’ll never admit it. Especially on Facebook.

There are songs that remind me of nothing and no one. They are all my favorite song.

Songs for those rain falling on Rain X moods where you’re not sure what to feel, but you feel it anyway.

Singing hymns in Church is always interesting since I never bothered to learn how to read music. It’s probably best that I praise God by not singing. Or talking, for that matter. Talk is cheap anyway. Act your faith.

Eye of the Tiger came on just as Isaac Ortiz was starting my second tattoo the other day. We both cracked up 😂

What’s your theme song? What’s your montage music for world domination?

What’s the Soundtrack to your life so far? Is it from the movie 'Twister’? It could be. You are one decision away from having a completely different life. What do you want your life to sound like? You can pick a new song, or put the last one on repeat.

What would your walk out song be for an MMA fight? I advocate entrance music for refs, judges, Cutmen, and announcers.

Actually I advocate theme songs and entrance music for everyone. And entourages. Who would be in your entourage? There’s a fun exercise.

I don’t write song lyrics; I write poetry. Song lyrics are poetry put to music.

I can’t sing. I can’t dance. But I do anyway. 🙃

#liferecon #goalcoaching #hobbitplaylist #rarr #CanYouHearMeNow #R8 #justbecause

[juliedeardorff]

A letter from my Dad:

“Birthday greetings from the high country [Colorado]! Wish we could be there to help you celebrate. Hope you have scheduled something fun for the day far from your regular "Spartan” routine.

…Enclosed is a birthday gift I hope you will like. It struck me as being very timely and meaningful to you as you launch your new venture. This pendant seems to be more symbolic of attempting to achieve great things–maybe even beyond your dreams. I thought you might be able to use this pendant as an icon (for you and your clients) in your trade.

Dreams should never be viewed as something surreal or something otherwise unattainable. Dreams are simply somewhere you would like to be. As children, we had no limits on our dreams. That’s one thing that made being a child so wonderful. No one nor anything was in our heads that could get in the way of our dreams. It was as adults that we were taught that once we had limitations and “insurmountable” obstacles to our dreams and, in the rush for simply keeping up with the values of our culture and cohorts, we lost our dreams, forgot about them, or gave up on them. With our own self-doubt and the help of others, the limitations to which we succumbed were invented and even fabricated by us.

So this “dream catcher” has more meaning as a reminder of our childhood when dreams were indeed quite achievable and unencumbered with the crap and trappings we convince ourselves were in our way– that we believed we simply could not overcome. Those who fail are merely those who have self-rationalized that failure is justified (ie, I lost, but that’s OK because things got too tough) rather than that the success achieved is to be glorified (ie, I won, because I prevailed in spite of the odds).

The dream catcher reminds us that for every problem or obstacle there is a positive “response” to be made rather than a negative “reaction”. The response is that of a child that has no limits and not the accepting, self-defeating adult.

Winning, if not the simple act of trying to win, is a potent example statement of self-worth. Think about that. That’s why there are gloriously huge upsets in college football, or any sport. Don’t dwell on the victorious upset. Think about the “why”.

It comes with the hope it continues to inspire you on your journey and the journey of others you will lead. Dreams were meant to be caught.

Happy Birthday, and with lots of Love,

Dadoo"

[juliedeardorff]

“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you down with difficulties, it means it’s about to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.”

People assume I like guns because of my background. I don’t dislike them, but try hauling them around a few years; they become annoying loud hunks of metal. Call me a typical female I guess.

Like any normal girl, I prefer archery and knife throwing.

I’ve been interested in archery ever since my parents asked my 9 year old self:

“What do you want for your birthday?” “A bow and arrow.” “Just one arrow?” “I only need one!”

Over the years the interest kept coming back, each time stronger than before. In April of last year, for no particular reason, a thought suddenly occurred to me: Why didn’t I just go try archery? What was I waiting for?

I immediately Googled ‘Archery Lessons Knoxville’, and clicked on the first thing that came up– Archery Instructor course, Levels 1 & 2. I figure if you’re going to do something, why not do it all the way?

The course was held at Gander Mountain, taught by Olympic Gold Medalist Elzbieta Tworek, owner of Arrow Archery Club. She had the most marvelous Polish accent: “If you take bad shot– let it go. It is gone. Shoot another arrow.”

Here was an element of Zen I hadn’t expected to find…the past is past, the future hasn’t happened yet– now is all we have. Shoot another arrow.

I stood in front of the class, and took the renowned “first shot”.

And I braced myself for the inevitable.

Nothing happened.

No one was yelling at me for doing something wrong. There was no CTF instructor critiquing one of 8 different ways to do the same thing. There was no drill instructor berading me. There were no time limits, simulated stress, pressure to keep my job, no one was scoring me, evaluating me, changing my preference of stock length, adjusting my choice of sling position, or correcting a shooting technique different than what someone else corrected last time. So basically the opposite of what I’ve become accustomed to over the past 12 years.

And upon releasing the arrow, none of these things happened.

It was relaxing. It was peaceful. It was stress-free.

I was addicted.

The course was a blast, I met some really cool people, and discovered a new kind of joy.

Why do I enjoy recreational archery so much?

It looks cool. It takes skill and focus. I get to use gear that fits. I get to wear clothes I want to wear. It’s not wasteful; reusable ammo. It’s quiet. I cherish stress-free environments.

Naturally the first thing I wanted to do with my newfound passion was shoot arrows at the blue falcon’s car at work. Instead, I found a dream house that had the potential for a perfect archery range out back, and continued designing the life I envisioned.

I was eventually led to Bowhunters Pro Archery Shop in Maryville, hands down the best archery shop in East Tennessee. With a full bow repair shop, 3d target range, and over 18 acres of wooded land to set up courses on, I was blown away that such a place existed. In Maryville! My hometown. Go Rebels.

Owner Jeff Ledbetter was happy to offer guidance to a newcomer, and invited me to shoot with a group that meets there every Thursday; a group I later learned includes some of the best tournament shooters in the country. They welcomed me much like KMAA and Frankie’s Body Shop did.

The more I learn about the sport of archery, the more possibilities I see to share it with others. Are you aware that there are thousands of dollars of unclaimed scholarships each year for archery? All they need is someone to coordinate the effort to form teams… ; )

Moral of the story: try new things.

Moral #2: When you find something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy, make time for it in your life. Period. You never know what possibilities you will find, who you will meet, and what opportunities you will have to make an impact.

Sometimes there are no more someday’s. Sometimes there are only now or nevers.

-Julie

#liferecon #tandemllc #archeryrecon #nomockingjay #roadrunnermaybe #hardtokill #nomoretrainingscars #callmespitfire #nocreepersplease #really #datingstillsucks

P.S.

‘Someday’ is not on the calendar.

Text “Bowhunter” to 89800 become a VIP client of Jeff’s shop.

Stay tuned for updates and news concerning lessons. War paint, Indian attire, or wearing your hair like an Amazon during sessions is encouraged. And yes I teach knife throwing as well, Michelle Harbaugh.

[juliedeardorff]

“You’re trying to do too much.” “You can’t reach that broad a client base.” “You’re going to have a hard time promoting this.”

Watch me.

Soooo… my search for a website design company continues.

I could rant about it, vent about it, describe how having my ideas hitting a brick wall feels, talk about how the last attempt could have picked something less insulting in their rejection Email than, “We suggest you try Facebook or Wix for your needs.” [!!! %~`^@&/]

…..I could analyze the way I explain my ideas; focus more on the ‘What’ instead of the ‘Why’ next time so it’s not another session of me justifying my mission and motives, give more examples of where I’ve seen certain features to show that something is in fact possible, and that yes I’m willing to pay for it, thank you.

Or I can kind of do all of these things, risk putting myself out there so others can relate, let everyone know I’m still alive, just busy as ever, become more determined, reimmerse myself in work that moves me, and try again with other options tomorrow.

Don’t tell me what you can’t do; tell me what you can, and we’ll go from there.

Rejection doesn’t mean your ideas have failed; it means you have more time to improve upon them, clarify your vision, and trust that something better is on its way. Adapt, overcome, and keep moving forward. Goal pursuit 101.

102. Ignore those who are determined to misunderstand you. This includes people you thought knew you a little better than the comments they make when you finally begin to pursue your passion. Don’t let it get under your skin. Keep doing you, and let success be the vindication you need. Other peoples’ assumptions are not your problem.

103. Embrace the fear and excitement of uncertainty. Embrace challenge. Everything happens for a reason, including failed attempts. Keep your eyes on the possibilities. If it were easy, erryone would do it. Yes I said erryone.

104. The people you need for your goals will enter your life at the time they need to. They might be planning a grand entrance, or you have other lessons to learn before they do. You will attract them when you’re ready, or naturally be led to finding them. Be patient, be peaceful, and trust the journey. And drink coffee. And read client reviews.

Seriously- read client reviews.

#liferecon #tandemllc #goalcoaching #lifecoaching #barrierbreaker #livelifeuncensored #hardtokill #nevergiveup #challenge #cyberhobbit #watchme #nocreepersplease

P.S.

“Don’t worry… don’t worry…I’m not gonna do what you all think I’m gonna do, which is just flip out!!” -Jerry Maguire

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do; I only know what I can do.” - Capt Kirk, Star Trek.

You can’t change the world by being just like it.

Necessity begets ingenuity.

Indecision is a decision.

[juliedeardorff]

“Livin the Dream, cupcake!”

Dear Everyone,

We each have our own idea of the American Dream. Mine was to be debt-free, have a career I was proud of, and to have the freedom to pursue many interests. Also to get an Audi R8, but that one seemed kind of petty to add to the list.

My choice of career (Security Police) puzzled a few who know my fun-loving — at times overly trusting–nature, because it means dealing with people when situations are less than ideal. Though not the profession of my inclination, it was an experience I needed to have to bring me to this point, exactly as I am.

I’m writing to share a few things I’ve learned at this particular job, and to give some exciting news: I resigned on Saturday!

It was bittersweet leaving everyone after 7 years; I hadn’t realized the extent of attachment to my co-workers until driving home from my last midnight shift, but I know it was the right decision because I have no regrets. I’m looking forward to the next chapter of my American Dream journey wherever the path may lead. Or wherever I trek to make a new one.

I worked 12 hour days on a swing shift schedule at Y12 National Security Complex and X10 (Oak Ridge National Laboratory). I maintain that guns don’t kill people; midnight shift kills people.

Aside from the look of disbelief I received when telling people what I did for a living, the question I was most often asked was, “What’s it like working with all those men?”

I’ll be honest: it was interesting! Most of the time it was hilarious. My favorite part was getting to know many well-established personalities, and having the chance to hear about life from a guy’s perspective; what men go through in their roles as father, husband, boyfriend, and brother. It’s a perspective that society and the media rarely shed light on or sympathize with, so I’m glad I got to witness it. All I can say is that I hope I find someone who treats me half as well as some of the guys I worked with treat the women in their lives.

Several people questioned my choice of priorities; some disagreed with or felt threatened by my goals for whatever reason. This apparently happens wherever you go, no matter where you work or how your life circumstances change.

A few other things I’ve learned working at a job that doesn’t issue hobbit-sized weapons or gear:

1. Everyone you meet has something to teach you if you’re willing to listen and ask the right questions.

2. You might hate something a person does; it does not mean you have to hate the person.

3. Life is short; grow a sense of humor. That said, don’t make jokes in the gun room during audits. Apparently supervisors frown on that.

4. Don’t wear sports bras in the indoor range while burning hot brass is flying everywhere. This may or may not apply to you.

5. The Golden Rule/Luke 6:31 applies regardless of conditions. Being courteous to rude people takes conviction of character; at times it takes a miracle. Don’t let someone else’s inner suffering change the person you are.

6. No matter how busy you get, don’t do online dating.

7. Being too nice: a blessing and a curse.

8. Don’t let small-minded people put limits on your life. Define your own boundaries, set your own standards, make your own rules.

9. If you have the predisposition to break silly rules and not conform to the status quo, seriously consider becoming an entrepreneur.

10. Don’t confuse success with happiness. This is the only life you have, so do what makes you happy, and be with the people that make you smile. Life is simple; we complicate it.

11. Toxic whiners who never grew up are in every profession. Don’t be one of them.

12. Some people genuinely care about you; others just want something to talk about. People will always show their true colors eventually.

13. Always take the high road. Always. Your true colors should be proud to display.

14. Those who have chosen to settle in life will always have words of doubt or caution disguised as caring. Don’t let their limitations influence your choices and decisions.

15. Life is tough, but you are tougher. Sometimes doors close because it’s time to move forward. New doors will open in ways you never expected.

16. When it comes to leadership and management, I learned this: Authority makes some people grow; others just swell.

I’m proud of the time I spent as a SPO, and I’m thankful for the friendships I’ve forged there. I hope I left good memories in the minds of those I interacted with. Even my poor shift Captain.

So what’s next for me, aside from world domination? Let’s just say I’m looking forward to helping people instead of training to shoot them. I also can’t wait to wear clothes that fit, average more than 5 hours of sleep, and to surround myself with positive people in a stress-free environment. Will keep you all posted!

Love to everyone, be nice to security, and as always, never give up on your dreams!!

-Julie

P.S.

Things I look forward to & will never take for granted:

- sunrises - eating off actual dishes and not tupperware containers from a bag - being home from the gym before 915pm - dressing up in nice clothes - not being mandatoried to work on off days - wearing my hair down - having actual lunch breaks - having actual breaks - having energy for workouts - not losing anymore hearing - sleep - having holidays off - being able to take care of a pet - or a plant - traveling abroad - being able to make plans & attend events - being able to go to church on Sundays - having more time for friends and family.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” -Emerson

“God has a way of closing one door and opening another.” -My Mom told me this 24 hours before I got an interview at Y-12. ❤️

[juliedeardorff]

“Sometimes life is about risking everything for a dream no one can see but you.” A few years ago, I made a decision inspired by circumstances at the time: Anything that causes stress, drama, or rushing does not belong in my life. Since then, I’ve strategically been working to design a life that fits that decision. I keep a notebook to organize my efforts; I write this at the top of the first page of every new notebook I get: “Purge your life of anything that does not help you succeed. - Debt
- Negative Relationships
- Unhealthy Lifestyle
- Clutter
- Self-Doubt Simplify your life.
Immerse yourself in what inspires you.
Stay focused on what you want in life.
Find your passion.
Define your own standards.
Create your own sanctuary.
Never defer expression or caring.
Be patient; be peaceful.” Seeing this page keeps me centered, and it reminds me of the things I need for it to. I share this now because I’ve been feeling pressure from a few directions lately; enough to drive the need for expression. People who care about us often see a very different picture of your life than you do. They see a very small window, while you see a much bigger picture. People see me working and gyming a lot. They see me tired, busy, and unavailable. They see me neglecting certain areas of life, and focusing too much on what they perceive as “the wrong things”. I see myself going after what I want in life. I see means to a greater end, and a light at the end of a tunnel that makes me want to run faster. They see me missing out on certain things, abstaining from leisure; I see my ideas being realized. I see stars aligning in unexpected ways, and doors opening with each step I take. Not everyone has the same priorities and goals, nor the same definition of happiness. It’s a truth that can sometimes cause friction with loved ones who only want the best for us. The overall point I want to make to counter the pressure I feel is best summed up by this quote: “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” -Bruce Lee There is one reality: the one we create for ourselves. We each decide for ourselves what adds value and fulfillment to our lives. To do otherwise means living according to the expectations of others. And that leads to regret and/or resentment. Which leads to the dark side. Brittney Maynard, a woman diagnosed with terminal cancer, said something in her final interview that struck me to my core: “Seize the day. What’s important to you, what do you care about, what matters. Pursue that. Forget the rest.” So for clarification sake, what things are important to me? What do I care about? What matters? Conquering barriers that once limited me does. Deadlifting a weight that used to be impossible does. Reaching an all-out sprint on a run, practicing yoga, doing handstands, blazing trails, being energy in motion with the freedom to move the way my spirit wants me to move, and harboring gratitude for the ability to do so. Athletic self-expression matters to me. Surrounding myself with people who fill my heart with joy, give me energy, and care about me enough to push me toward what I’m capable of. These people, their goals, and their well-being matter to me. Not owing a soul in the world; having the freedom and means to impact lives, sponsor people and causes I believe in, and spoiling the crap out of people I feel like spoiling. Financial peace matters to me. Having a sanctuary to call home, a place for friends & family to crash if they need it, and always have a roof over their heads. That’s important to me. I want these things in life. But if you want something, you must also want the cost it takes to get it. The cost is often the only thing people see and remind you of until you succeed. Only when you win are you asked how you did it, and to teach them how to do the same. Until then, I’ll likely keep hearing the same things: slow down, pace yourself, don’t burn out, take it easy, live a little. I’m living a lot, actually; I just see a bigger picture, and it’s like watching a sunrise. Some days, fireworks. I hear this one a lot: “You need to find balance.” I found balance. The scale just doesn’t tip the way you think it should right now based on your expectations. It balances exactly as I’ve chosen it to, in line with my priorities at this phase of my life. Pressuring or guilt tripping me about it won’t cause me to change it; in fact it will likely have the opposite effect. If there’s pressure to conform, you’ll probably see me trying to defy it. Which comes in real handy at work, but I digress. Life should be enjoyed, not endured; I get that. But there are things that go beyond simple enjoyment that are worth striving for. For high achievers, happiness is the joy we feel when we are moving toward our potential. Some of our most defining moments are when we’ve reached our limits or max capacity, but triumph in the knowledge that we can keep going; we can take it. It’s empowering. So that said, I’ll go on vacation when I feel like it. I’ll “chill out more” when relaxing becomes more important than my goals. I’ll travel when I have someone to share the journey with, and we’ll go at our own leisure; no stress, no rushing, no pressure to be someplace. Or I can leave tomorrow, and owe an explanation to no one. Live life on your terms, not by the expectations of others. Live with purpose. Live with intention. Live with passion. Don’t let anyone change the way you exist in the world. Make no apologies. You’re exactly who you’re supposed to be. You are the joy you seek, the happiness you create, the inner peace you long for. You already are everything you want to be to live the life you imagine. Have enough conviction in your vision to stay the course. Transcend expectations. Never give up on your dreams. Keep fighting. Stay strong. You got this. - J P.S. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. - T. S. Eliot “The results of your life reflect the standards you’ve set.” -Robin Sharma “To push the boundaries, you need to know where the edges are.” -Mark Boulton “Live like no one else so that later you can live & give like no one else.” -Dave Ramsey “By persisting in your path, though you forfeit the little, you gain the great.” -Emerson “Success in life is for those who are excited about where they are going. It’s about walking comfortably in your own shoes, in the direction of your dreams. You cannot base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s opinions and expectations.” -Marc & Angel, my favorite life coaches Life recon exercise: What guidelines, mantras, or quotes help you stay centered? Write in comments, Goal Recon Facebook page, tweet to or send me a message. #liferecon #episode18 #livelifeuncensored #behardtokill #coffeehelps #datingstillsucks