#god dammit. all i wanna do is listen to garbage and draw and draw and draw my shitty little scribbles
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#theres gotta be. like there has to be something wrong with my head#ugh. not wrong. wrong is a bad word. just. i should not b this hard to get my brain to focus on literally anything that matters#its just so frustrating. im doing the best i ever have. and yet i still cant focus. wtf else can i do?#god dammit. all i wanna do is listen to garbage and draw and draw and draw my shitty little scribbles#maybe my head jsut wasnt built for what im trying to do with it#so idk how tf im supposed to get thru the next 4 years of my phd. or wtf im gonna do after#maybe i should just have just started working at a lab when i graduated. just be a lab manager for thr rest of my life#i dunno. i dunno what to do. how to make my head work. it shouldnt be this hard. my dad can just do things he doesnt want to and im like#HOW??? Im too much like my mom. especially now that im way less anxious. she was a procrastinater and a messy disaster#ay. im just frustrated and feeling guilty abt the lack ot work getting done. i just wanna get back into thr lab#unrelated
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