#gonna go be a big blubby mess now

[infinitestarsintheskye]

One last game of Tag? Agents of Shield #PartingShot

I was tagged by amazing @besidemethewholedamntime, thank sooooo much lovely!

With this tag game, I want to know the answers to these five (5) questions and then tag 5 or more mutuals. Wasn’t tagged but want to join? Join in ! Everyone is an essential part of this fandom! Name from @ agent.of.shield_ on Instagram ( @agents-of-fangirling ) who had a great idea to post a picture of yourself with a drink (or just a drink) and tag it #partingshot as a finale goodbye to the show (which I also am going to post tomorrow on IG).

Where were you in life when you first started to watching AoS?

Thanks to some screenshots that have SOMEHOW survived through my icloud through my ipod touch and god knows how many other phones, I can give you the answer to the MINUTE which is actually really quite creepy. I started watching AoS at 8:05pm on the 27th of September 2013 about five minutes into the UK premiere of the pilot. That’s right boys I’ve been here since the VERY BEGINNING. I have my own personal love letter going up on Thursday where I go into it all a bit more, but I was 15 years old when I watched that and I don’t think it’s being overdramatic to say that it has changed my life. I was just about to sit my first round of high school exams (Nat 5′s if you’re nasty) and I just fell head over heels for these characters, completely and utterly. 7 years later and I still feel the same way about them. I was excitable and naive about life at 15 and I literally grew up with this show. 

Where are you now?

Now I am 22 years old, I just finished my degree (!!!!!) in English Literature this past May/June, and am in the process of applying for my masters. AoS is honestly a comfort blanket for me now, I know these characters so well, they’ve been with me through the most awful times, through experiences that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies, through my absolute rollercoaster of my mental health.

What character development arc (or storyline in general) did you love the most?

Fitz. From the second that boy opened his mouth and I heard the Scottish accent come out he was planted firmly and securely in my heart. His entire arc over this show is insane and incredible and truly a testament to IDC and his acting chops. If you look at Fitz now from where he started the change in him is incredible, but also the core, the goodness of him, is still there. I could go on for hours about how much I love him, honestly. Watching him die was honestly one of the worst things I have ever watched. I still cannot watch it, it hurts too much. I have been rooting for FitzSimmons practically since day one, and just I cannot even put into words how much I love them and how much I HOPE THEY FINALLY GET SOME BLOODY PEACE!!!! They are both so deserving of it. I’m so excited for their future and I’m sure I’ll edit this after the finale and put some edits in about the information gleamed from certain leaked promo photos, but all I’ll say is, those scenes will fully and utterly be the end of me. 

What will you miss the most?

Everything. I will miss every tiny aspect of this show. It has been a constant in my life for 7 years and I’m going to find it very hard to not have that constant presence, the constant cycle of new seasons and comic con and theories and spec fics and all that wonderful stuff around me anymore. I have loved participating more than I really ever have this last season and it makes me sad that I didn’t do it for all 7 (life happened). I will miss the sleepless nights before I can watch an ep, I will miss watching new eps, I will miss coming onto tumblr and just screaming into the abyss right as all of you lovely US viewers are either in your beds or are about to go to bed. I will miss being fuming EVERY SINGLE YEAR that I’m not at ComicCon, and just scrambling around for the absolute deluge of press that happens then. Just all of it. Everything that comes with witnessing the live release of this show. It’s honestly all a part of me now, of who I am as a person. 

Favourite quote?

Oh I’m gonna cheat and put two because I cannot chose. Simmons’s law of thermodynamics speech hit me RIGHT IN THE FEELIES, it still does. 

I like to think about the first law of thermodynamics, that no energy in the universe is created and... none is destroyed. That means that every bit of energy inside us, every particle will go on to be a part of something else. Maybe live as a dragonfish, a microbe, maybe burn in a supernova ten billion years from now. And every part of us now was once a part of some other thing - a moon, a storm cloud, a mammoth. A monkey. Thousands and thousands of other beautiful things that were just as terrified to die as we are. We gave them new life. Good one, I hope.

As someone who is scared of death (we’re getting real this evening) this speech is the MOST WONDERFUL BALM. It is just so unspeakably beautiful and comforting and oh my god what a wonderful thought to have right when you think you’re about to go. I will forever hold it very dear in my heart. Also,Fitz’s little addition of ‘a monkey’ makes me smile and cry in equal measures.

Secondly, it’s another Simmons quote:

The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction.

So, this quote came into my life right when I needed to hear it most. My mental health was not what I would call great, and it just helped. I sobbed when I heard it for the first time. Fully sobbed. How wonderful is that sentiment? It quickly became something I would just tell myself and it was my phone background for like 3 years. The comfort and solitude that quote has brought me is truly immeasurable.

Thank you so much for tagging me Rebecca, even though I am now an emotional wreck, but I kind of expected that haha.

I’m going to tag a couple of lovelies @rathxritter @valentinaonthemoon and @daisylincs