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quicksilversquared · 6 years

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Pictures on the Wall

It started as a tickle of a thought in Alix Kubdel's mind- wouldn't it be funny to plaster Marinette's room in pictures of her crush?

She didn't expect a TV crew to show Marinette's room on TV before her friend could fully finish cleaning the room up.

(Troublemaker fix-it/AKA why Marinette has So. Many. Pictures. on the wall)

(FF.net) (AO3)

It started out as a tickle of a thought in the back of Alix Kubdel's mind. She snickered briefly at it and then refocused on her homework, re-reading a passage for French Lit.

But the idea was not forgotten. Not fully, at least.

"I don't think he's capable of taking a bad photo," Marinette said dreamily the next day as their little group of girls sat together during a break between classes. She was staring at a page in a fashion magazine. Alix didn't have to be a genius to deduce that Marinette was talking about Adrien yet again. "He's just so-"

"I'm pretty sure that his father and the photographer probably weed out any photos that aren't great," Alix told her, cutting Marinette off before she could finish her sentence. She really didn't need to hear about how dreamy or handsome or bla bla bla Adrien was another time. Ever since Marinette and Alya had decided to "let her in" on the "secret" of Marinette's crush on Adrien (it wasn't a secret. It really wasn't. Even Kim had caught on ages ago, which said something about how obvious Marinette was), she had had to hear Marinette's gushing.

(Alix was starting to think that Alya had only pushed to let the other girls in on the 'secret' so that she wouldn't have to put up with the Adrien-talk by herself. As much as it could annoy her, Alix couldn't really blame Alya for that.)

Besides, Adrien was hardly dreamy and cool all the time Anyone who believed that believed in a lie, because Adrien was a giant dork. Anyone who spent more than a few minutes with him knew that much. It was hard to keep a straight face around Marinette's dreamy sighs over Adrien when Alix had seen him fighting to keep a pencil balanced on his nose longer than Nino earlier in the day and pouting when he lost, or when she had spotted him making outrageous hair styles with his ridiculously long hair.

(Despite what Marinette said about Adrien being able to pull off any look, Alix knew better. Adrien could not pull off a mohawk. It just... no.)

Still, Marinette was stubbornly shaking her head. "I bet they only have to choose between great photos! He does a great job with his modeling-"

And Alix tuned her out, mind churning deviously as the others discussed ideas for having Marinette ask Adrien out.

Surely there had to be some awkward photos of Adrien out there, considering how much of a following he had in Paris and how many photos got snapped of him on a daily basis. And some of his fans would post any photos of him, even bad ones, just to prove that they had seen him.

Alix decided to make it her personal mission to track all of those photos down to bury Marinette under them. And what she found made her very, very happy.

There were so many photos of Adrien looking supremely uncomfortable as he was pulled into a selfie with one fan or another (those got cropped so Adrien's ridiculous expressions filled the whole screen). There were photos of him dashing down the street away from fans, photos of him laughing with friends, photos of him with his bodyguard and Nathalie, photos of photoshoots but from another angle, photos of him getting photoshoot makeup touched up, photos of him messing around and purposefully pulling weird faces.

In short, there were a lot of photos. Not all of them were good. Alix cackled as she printed them all off and stuck them in a folder to bring to school. She would have to spring them on Marinette when Adrien wasn't anywhere in the vicinity or else face the combined wrath of Alya and Marinette (which she was not willing to do), but she was sure that that wouldn't be that difficult.

She wasn't expecting Alya to intercept her first.

"Oh, you should put those up in Marinette's room and see how long it takes for her to notice," Alya's voice said with a snicker several minutes before homeroom started. Alix jumped and spun around, abruptly abandoning her conversation with Kim. Alya stood there, perusing Alix's folder of ridiculous Adrien photos. How she had snuck up completely undetected was... well, it was very Alya. "I bet it would take her a while to notice."

Alix snickered at the suggestion, remembering her original idea of absolutely plastering Marinette's room in Adrien photos. It would be a good way to tease her about her crush a little bit while maybe helping her realize that she should calm down about having pictures of Adrien up everywhere. "Or I can mix in actual decent photos with these and then stick them in all sorts of weird places."

Alya grinned. "Such as...?"

"On the walls, under her bed, in the desk drawers..." Alix added, that original funny idea coming back full-force. She grinned, then glanced towards Marinette's normal seat. It was empty, as was Adrien's seat up front. "Where is Marinette, anyway? She's running late again."

Alya threw a look over her shoulder and then shrugged. "Who knows. But that gives us time to plot." Without waiting for further answer, she slid onto the bench next to Alix. "So, show me what you have!"

It wasn't difficult to find a time to sneak into Marinette's room when Marinette herself wasn't there. It was difficult to find places to put all of the photos they had dragged up.

And there were a lot. Along with the less-than-good photos, Alya had dragged up a whole slew of photos from old magazine ads Adrien had done, as well as screenshots from some of his commercials. Alix was a bit worried that the poster putty she had brought wouldn't be enough.

"At least her desktop picture isn't so awful anymore," Alix commented as she reached over the computer to attach one of the pictures on the wall behind it. "That was...yikes."

"I think she changed it when Adrien came over to play Mega Strike," Alya told her. She handed Alix a smaller photo to hang next. "And then she went with an, uh, unaltered photo next, after he left. I don't remember if she lost the collage one somehow or what."

"Good riddance to that one," Alix muttered. She clambered off of Marinette's desk, making sure to replace everything on it where it had been. "Okay, where should that next poster go?"

Half an hour later, Marinette's room was thoroughly decorated and she and Alya were puzzling over what to do with the leftover pictures.

"We can't put them too high, or Marinette won't be able to get them down again," Alya said. She flipped over a particularly bad photo of Adrien doing what appeared to be a Vulcan salute. Alix had maybe done a teensy bit of Photoshop on it to make an already pretty bad picture worse (and to get rid of the "fan" who, in Adrien's defense, looked slightly unhinged), and she was...well, a bit creeped out by the result would be the most accurate description. "Where did you find this?"

"Photoshop."

Alya snorted in amusement. "Oh, gosh. Okay, let's stick these under Marinette's bed and on the underside of her chaise and see how long it takes for her to notice. There's no point in wasting a perfectly good picture."

"Or a perfectly awful photo." Alix made another face at the Vulcan salute photo and then handed it to Alya to take. "Okay, yeah, good idea."

It didn't take long to stash away the rest of the photos and get the rest of their mess cleaned up so that they could go. Alya led the way towards Marinette's trapdoor, opening it and starting to climb down.

Alix paused, turning to look back at the room one last time. An inkling of doubt crept up her spine. "You're sure there's no way that Adrien would see this? He wouldn't come over to play video games again before Marinette can clean up?"

Alya shook her head. "Nah, he wouldn't come over out of the blue. And you know he would never go into Marinette's room without her permission, and she would want to clean up her normal posters before letting him up. Believe me, it'll be fine."

"I hate you," Marinette announced the next day at school as soon as she saw Alya. She was pouting. "Very funny."

Alya tried not to grin. "It was Alix's idea first. She helped me."

"I hate you both."

"Aren't you going to take the pictures down?"

Marinette glanced up from her homework at Tikki. "Hmm?"

Tikki pointed to the pictures covering all of Marinette's walls. "The pictures! Shouldn't you take them down?" She frowned at Marinette. "You aren't thinking of leaving them up, are you? Marinette..."

"I'll take them down, just not right now," Marinette said, turning back to her homework. "I just don't have the time! I'm really behind on my schoolwork, thanks to all of the akumas we've had, and I shouldn't prioritize cleaning photos off of my walls over that."

"Oh, that's smart." A pause. "But you'll take care of it soon, right?"

"Of course!"

"Marinette, about these pictures..."

Marinette shook her head, eyes not leaving the computer screen in front of her as she typed. "This is due tomorrow. I'm already on thin enough ice with Madam Mendeleiev, I can't possibly ask for an extension for no apparent reason. It'll have to wait."

Tikki considered the wall. "Can I take some of them down? The really awkward ones?"

"Sure, I guess."

Tikki worked her way around the room, removing the worst of the photos from the wall. It was slow work, mostly because she had to remove the poster putty from the wall as she removed things, and she didn't want to accidentally leave any marks like she and Marinette had in their frantic tearing-down of posters when Adrien visited. Once she was done, there were still a lot of photos, but at least they were mostly normal.

Hopefully Marinette would have a spare hour soon to finish returning her room to its normal state.

"Marinette, are you going to take the photos down today?"

Marinette paused with one foot out the door. "I can't! I told Maman that I would help down in the bakery. Tomorrow, for sure!"

Marinette had pulled three large photos down when her phone rang with an akuma alarm. Sighing, she tossed the picture in her recycling without a second glance (she was never going to mention how photogenic Adrien was within Alix's hearing range ever, ever again- where the other girl had found such awful photos she had no idea) and raced up to her balcony to transform.

"About those photos-"

"Still behind!"

"Can I take more photos down?"

Marinette glanced up from her Physics homework. "Yeah, I guess? Just don't do this area, I don't want to get distracted."

Tikki frowned. "Marinette, I'll have to take down those photos sometime. Can't you work somewhere else? Downstairs, maybe?"

"I'll do it this weekend, after the Jagged TV thing," Marinette promised. "But for right now, I can't. I need to use my computer for this assignment."

Alix stared at her TV in horror. There, in full color on the screen, was Marinette's room.

And Marinette's wall.

And a number of the pictures of Adrien that she and Alya had put up two weeks prior.

And Jagged Stone was pointing to them and the camera was focusing on them, bringing them up full-screen.

"She didn't take them down?" Alix exclaimed, fingers clutching at her hair. How? Why? Sure, Marinette had mentioned being crazy busy and really behind after spending time working on a sewing project instead of doing her homework, but surely she could have spared a couple minutes to clear her walls.

At least it looked like she had gotten the purposefully bad photos down, and most of the room was largely free of pictures. It was just that corner of the room, really-

-but that one corner was really bad. Like, it was plastered with pictures, from desk to ceiling.

This was bad.

Her phone rang, and Alix scrambled to answer it. "Hello?"

"We gotta fix this," Alya said, sounding panicked. "Oh, gosh. I never thought- no one else was meant to see that! At least it wasn't her entire room, but- Adrien's gonna be so weirded out, and it won't even be her fault."

"Maybe we can text him?" Alix suggested. "Let him know that it was part of a prank? Even if half of those photos were Marinette's anyway." It would be their apology to Marinette if they did that, she figured. Everyone else would forget about the photos after a few weeks, but Adrien wouldn't, and Marinette would probably flounder through an explanation too badly to be any use if Adrien approached her with any questions. "Should we text him now, or wait until school tomorrow?"

"Do you think we can get to him before he spots Marinette?" Alya asked, not even waiting for Alix to answer before she plowed on. "I think it would be hard to explain anything over text, personally, but- oh! I could call him, hang on-"

The line abruptly went dead and Alix flopped back in her seat, watching the screen. Marinette had chased the cameras out of her room- and Alix had to give her props for how composed she was keeping herself while surely embarrassed beyond belief, and she was ordering Jagged Stone and Alec around too, and they were celebrities- and now Tom and Sabine were trying to shoo the crew out completely, except some strange stuff seemed to be happening.

Like, mega-strange stuff.

Alya called Alix back a minute later, once it had been confirmed that there was an akuma at the bakery- and poor Marinette, she must be having an awful day- and Alya sounded frantic. "He's not answering his phone. I tried calling three times and nothing."

"Maybe the pretty boy is busy and missed the show?" Alix suggested. "You could ask Nino."

"Nino is out of town this weekend. He won't be back until Monday." Alya groaned. "Oh, this is such a mess."

"Maybe we can just wait until Monday?" Alix suggested as she watched Chat Noir get flung into a news van on-screen. "I mean, Adrien is always early and Marinette is almost always running in last-minute anyway. Surely we can catch him before Marinette gets there."

"Sounds like a plan," Alya agreed. "So, any ideas for excuses as to why we covered Marinette's room in pictures of Adrien?"

Adrien wasn't in the classroom. It was three minutes to the bell, and Adrien wasn't in the classroom yet.

Alix was starting to get concerned. How were they meant to corner Adrien and give their excuses if the boy was MIA?

And then, a minute before the bell, Adrien slipped through the door and into his seat. Marinette followed forty-five seconds later.

There was no way they hadn't run into each other in the locker room. Alix hoped that Marinette hadn't said anything too strange to him. If she had, all the excuses in the world from Alix and Alya wouldn't help anything.

They cornered Adrien in their next break between classes.

"Hey, you two, what's up?" Adrien asked. He looked a little puzzled about being cornered, but it only barely showed. "I saw you tried to call me yesterday, Alya- sorry I didn't pick up, I was busy."

"You're always busy, we're used to that," Alya said cheerfully, waving it off. "But, uh, we wanted to talk to you about something- well, admit something, rather- anyway, did you see the Jagged Stone show yesterday?"

Alix tried not to snort. For a moment there, Alya had sounded rather like Marinette trying to talk to Adrien.

"I did," Adrien told them, grinning. "Jagged looked like a ghost with the flour all over him, didn't he? I'm glad Tom and Sabine were willing to kick them out, though. They didn't have to go all the way upstairs."

Alix winced. "So you saw that part, huh?"

Adrien's answering nod was so slight that it would have been easy to miss it.

"The wall of photos was actually our fault," Alya admitted. "We put it up as a joke- we hid photos all over her room, actually, we should probably actually tell Marinette about that, if she hadn't found those- and she's apparently been too busy to get it all cleaned up."

Adrien looked puzzled. "Wait, that was you guys? Then why didn't Marinette just say so? And why pictures of me?"

Alix and Alya exchanged a surprised look. Apparently Marinette and Adrien had already talked, and Marinette hadn't made a complete mess of it.

Maybe they should have talked to Marinette to see what she had told him first.

"Maybe she just didn't want to explain the prank?" Alya suggested after another couple beats. "A-and it was pictures of you because of, y'know, the fashion thing, and it's really easy to find pictures of you. It wasn't anything bad at all, I swear."

Adrien huffed out a small laugh at that. "It is easy to find pictures of me, isn't it? It's a bit annoying at times. But I guess it saves my father from having to take photos of me growing up himself." He shrugged. "But thanks, I guess? That would explain why some of the photos weren't from any of my photoshoots. I did wonder."

"Heh heh yeah, that was us." Alya flashed a too-wide smile. "It was just a bit of fun, y'know? We wouldn't have done it if we knew it was going to get onto TV."

"Right, I figured." Adrien glanced over to where Nino and Max were talking. "Thanks for telling me, I guess. See you in class?"

"Of course," Alya and Alix said in near unison as Adrien waved to them and left. They both let out a sigh relief as soon as he was out of earshot and then dissolved into giddy giggles.

"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be," Alya said a bit breathlessly as they recovered. "He kind of accepts any excuse, doesn't he? He probably made it really easy for Marinette to come up with something."

"Hey, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth." Alix started walking towards their next class, and Alya followed. "Adrien listened to us, and apparently Marinette managed to get some coherent sentences out around him earlier, so that's a win. And Jagged and his crew didn't manage to, say, upend the chaise and scatter photos all over on live TV, so win there too, I guess."

They walked in silence for a few moments.

"So d'you think you could make it over to Marinette's house after school today?" Alya asked as they joined the group of students heading into Madam Mendeleiev's classroom. "To help Marinette take down posters and clean up all of the photos we hid? I feel like we kind of owe it to her to help."

Alix winced. She had been planning on practicing her roller-skating sprints, but yeah, they did kind of owe it to Marinette. She had probably already spent enough time taking stuff down already, and Alya might not be able to remember all the places where they hid photos away.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there."

#Miraculous Ladybug #My writing #Troublemaker #because that episode's framing of Marinette annoyed me

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replicarters · 7 years

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hellraiser 3 funtime carnival, pt 1

it has been an age since i've done an old school picspam like this. back in the livejournal days, i lived for this shit. i took my f-list through a horde of awful, awful films starring very attractive women, but everybody had a good time along the way and i miss that rush of communal drunken laughter. so when i texted kristen and i said "will you watch hellraiser 3 with me" and her response was "ughhhhh do i have to", she suggested maybe i just livetweet it. i said to her no buddy, i'll do you one better, i'll do this. i think this is the kind of experience that's going to be much better with visual aids, because i gather it's disgustingly violent.

i don't know anything about hellraiser. i'm not into horror movies; i'm actually several levels of baffled by the legions of horror movie aficionados in the world who are passionately drawn to the aesthetic quality of blood and guts and buy these movies on vhs, ld, dvd, bluray, and watch hacking and slashing over and over and over again and take screenshots of the artsiest parts of people having their brains splattered on walls by hideous monsters. i don't get it, but there's a part of me that wants to understand it? wish i could be an art house horror movie critic like the cool hipsters. PERHAPS i can get a little closer to the delightful rainbow horror vortex through hellraiser 3, which horror movie people apparently don't like that much. is it because there's not enough killing in it? are there not enough visible intestines? well, i won't hate it, i don't THINK, because i'm here for one reason and one reason only and that reason is terry farrell, exactly one year before ds9 and cute! Cute!!

maybe be wary because i'm not going to shy away from nasty screeshots, but otherwise, pull out your genuine hasbro ouijas and get ready to commune with zozo because we're goin in babyyyyyyyy

the year is 1992, dan quayle has just harangued murphy brown for having a baby out of wedlock, and that's the only timeline gauge i have for 1992. i was a child. i was in kindergarten or some shit. i barely had a handle on my right hand vs. my left hand and was not old enough to watch a horror movie; i wasn't old enough to watch sister act. some of you reading this were not even born in 1992 and that's perhaps more nauseating than any severed body part i will see in this movie.

lmao the music is so orchestrally spooky and i'm like, "ohhhh no this was a bad idea" asldfhlahsld. i'm NOT a weenie, i can watch a shitty horror movie... it's a pretty sweet song actually, it's like, "satan is coming, and we're all going to suffer, but beautifully!" well, i hope that's true.

this kid with roaring red cowboy boots walks into an art gallery in the middle of the night and gives me the finger with his cigarette. IS THE HELLRAISER IN HERE? IS HE GOING TO RAISE HELL INTO THIS BOY? ARE THERE ANY SECURITY GUARDS ON DUTY PAST THIS GALLERY'S REGULAR BUSINESS HOURS?

a statue of tits and asses and whatever else slowly spins. art!

rebel boy approaches, ignoring the really fascinating painting behind him of a scabby spooky ghost man realizing he's just run out of scrubbing bubbles and will have to disrupt the whole rest of his saturday cleaning day to head to fred meyer to pick up some more. damn it, gerald, if you'd gone to costco like everybody else, then you'd have 99 scrubbing bubbles AND you'd have gotten free trail mix samples.

AAHHH THAT'S IT THAT'S THE ZOZO CUBE. that's the THING that the THING is in DO NOT TOUCH THAT. it's gonna get touched. a lot, i'm sure.

uh, okay, where's that museum security because this guy just got in here. "you want it?" he asks. do i want... a 99 pack of scrubbing bubbles? yeah, i mean, i can always use more... you can never have too many scubbing bubbles.

that's not what he's asking, he's asking whether rebel kid wants to have the naked zozo obelisk. rebel kid asks how much he wants for it. hobo man says "whatever you think it's worth".

and they make a drug deal out of it while an Evil Beast Sound plays in the background. if there's anyone i don't trust with a cube of vacuum-sealed evil, it's this wannabe edgelord danny from grease. hell is that much closer to getting raised!!

oh my god, yes. this is joey and she's my daughter and i love her. I WILL PROTECT HER FROM THE CUBE MAN WITH MY BARE HANDS. actually i think she's going to protect me, you, and all of creation from the cube man, so that's good i'm really looking forward to it.

oh no she's extremely cute. and struggling with journalism things, but that is something i can only marginally pay attention to because...

...off to the side here nurse nancy is laying out all sorts of tools while ill-boding sounds happen. it has only been 6 minutes.

DUDE! you guys fucking remember GTE??? holy fug that's a blast from the past... damn. so's this giant phone, which the cameraman picks up while just saying, "speak." love it.

wh-what is the significance... ahhhh......

cameraman is getting called away to some BREAKING NEWS, and he's a good old man so he tries to bring joey along but they're like nah. he says things'll be okay, the story of her life may be just around the corner! yeah, and it's gonna be something not even klonopin could take the edge off of.

oh god. nurse nancy takes out a saw and strokes it.

WHY IS IT DARK IN HERE I THOUGHT THIS WAS A REGULAR HOSPITAL. i mean, obviously not with nurse nancy's jagged metal fetish.

suddenly there are sirens, and paramedics burst through the door carting a guy with...

BLOODY CHAINS???? FROM WHERE????? WHAT???????

i can't begin to understand this. there's a guy, just here all of a sudden, with bloody fucking chains hanging all over him. but most hilariously, one of the paramedics says, "you ever seen anything like this before?" and the other one goes, "yeah, yeah, sure!" YEAH, YEAH, SURE? you've seen a guy before with chains protruding from his epidermis? fucking WHEN? don't say the last time you got the marijuana munchies because that doesn't count.

ohhhh shit, that's NEWS! how did the cameraman miss this cavalcade rolling into the er on his way out the door? from where in time did this all COME FROM? oh my god i'm so confused.

this girl from hot topic keeps saying this had nothing to do with her, she was just there, can she go now? dude. the guy. has chains. coming out of his skin. i know that's more of a party city at halloween kind of thing but you have to be at least a little more concerned, i would think.

hot topic girl says this happened at "the boiler room", so, i'm definitely crossing that right off my list of places to visit in my lifetime. all places named boiler room, in every corner of the 48 continental united states. don't care, not going to them.

all of a sudden there's a huge pop from the or along with flashing lights. aaaahhh!!! joey runs toward it, eager for news that not one sane person will believe, while hot topic girl is like "fuuuck that" and leaves.

well, this is what's going on in the or. somebody touched the side while trying to get the charley horse...!

mmmyeah everything is disgusting. this guy's seizing, the chains are yanking on him, electricity is crackling, all the doctors are like ahhhh what the fuck!

VERY SAME

oh, and then?

the guy's head explodes.

it has now been... 8 minutes and 44 seconds. i have at least 82 more minutes. of this. this was a baaaaaaaaaaad idea. maybe the worst i've ever had. i'm scared, you're scared, heads have exploded, and there's 82 minutes left for it to get so much worse.

this nurse is sobbing, i don't know how that bloody hand print got there, there is blood all. over. the floor. blood is dripping from chain guy's corpse, which incidentally now has no head. closed casket for sure!

joey literally falls her way out of the or and tries not to vomit. pretty normal reaction to watching the very real consequences of too much margarita monday at the boiler room.

prepare for it? uh, i don't know if you were paying attention but it just fucking happened, at the darkest hospital in the city which apparently hasn't paid its electricity bill in three years.

we all gotta decompress from that shit. let's all breathe, do some light meditation...

NO, NO TIME FOR DECOMPRESSING, ONLY JUMP SCARES NOW. this HAND comes out of GODDAMN NOWHERE to slam on the window of this MOVING BUS WHAT'S HAPPENING I DON'T KNOW ARE YOU SCREAMING BECAUSE I'M ALSO DOING THAT! MY EARS ARE FULL OF SCREAMS AND THEY'RE ALL MINE!! WE CAN'T BOTH SCREAM TOGETHER THE DECIBELS ARE TOO HIGH!!!

oh, just kidding, it was only some hobo banging on the bus for no reason. haha! gotcha! oh, post traumatic stress disorder from watching a guy's head go off like your uncle's 4th of july fireworks show, it's hilarious.

back at the studio, joey and cameraman and other guy whose role i don't know at this point in time are all watching tapes, and other guy is like "listen you gotta show em some thigh and then you'll be an anchorwoman." i mean, just show me some thigh, just a little. i don't need a whole lot. well, joey wants to do this the right way, because she's an upstanding heroine who's not gonna sell herself out.

also she told them about the hospital horror show and surprisingly, they're not jumping all over that to believe it instantly. well, joey knows what she saw gosh dang it, and you do, too, unfortunately, thanks to my screenshots.

other guy's name is brad, which is very much an other guy name. brad.

ohhhh nononono, i don't want to be here, i'm not going in there.

the boiler room is a shitty club you have to pay $10 to get into, then once inside you have to look at, like, artists' renditions of death metal baby cirque du soleil performers. i don't know about you, but i feel right at home.

hey can anyone make sense of this outfit? asking for a friend.

joey tells a bartender she's looking for a pretty girl, and he's like, "oh yeah go that way." shocked that he wasn't like, "mmm, have you looked in a mirror? asking for a friend."

okay, and then we're in this place, with class and violins? is this part of the boiler room? is this an off-shoot of the boiler room? is this a restaurant next door whose owners lament "those fucking punk kids" next door with their rabble-rousing and their bloody chains?

oh hey, it's mr. late-night art connoisseur. he owns... either the boiler room or the restaurant, or both if i could figure out the relationship between the two. he tries to give joey a rose and she's like no thanks pal.

meanwhile hot topic is right over here. just... just look a little... a little farther to your left... just a little more...

and now we're doing saving private ryan! if i had an explanation for this aside from "somebody slipped me acid at work and i didn't notice until now", i would tell you.

joey didn't realize she had tickets to saving private ryan but here she is, watching the carnage. anyway spoiler alert it's all just a dream of her dad dying in vietnam or something.

the phone wakes her up and it's hot topic, calling to say she'll come over for a chat. her boyfriend threw her out so she'll trade her, they'll have a chat in exchange for hot topic having a place to sleep. joey's on board so let's see what's up with this girl.

this is how i sit everywhere i go, real fact.

hot topic's first question is what joey was dreaming about, and joey's like girl why do u care? it was just scenes from apocalypse now, don't you ever dream about that?

that fucking music starts again, the orchestral devil summoning one. they talk about dreams, and hot topic says it sure is cool, being able to have a dream, because she never has. girl... have you ever reached REM? are you all right? how are you alive?

"hey, this is great, isn't it? i mean, just, uh... two girls talking. having a conversation." yep, just in here having a conversation, delicately dodging the fact that beelzebub is out there waiting to knock down everybody's doors.

hot topic peer pressures joey into a cigarette and says, "what, do you think you're gonna live forever?" um, YEAH, she's gonna live like nine hundred years thanks to the worm inside her, thank you very much.

"OH," hot topic says, "you wanna talk about THAT?" yeah, that, the six flags halloween fright fest show that happened in the hospital. she says she doesn't know the kid, that he must have taken "it" from "the statue". ohhh dear. there that cube goes, getting touched all over by wandering hands.

OH GOD NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT SHE HAS THE CUBE, I REPEAT, SHE IS IN POSSESSION OF THE CUBE. get that out of here it's dirty and you definitely have no idea where it's been. you have no idea whose guts have been splattered on it.

back at the weird boiler room ranch, danny zuko overlooks his bizarro domain, thinking about all the good times he's had here, all the sweet nights, all the instances of kids picking up devil cubes on his property and being speared with the metal that flies out of them.

pitiful crying noises there's the hole where the cube used to be and i'm peeing myself. god don't let anything come out of that hole i am BEGGING YOU MERCIFUL LORD

don't TOUCH IT OH MY GOD DO NOT STICK YOUR HAND IN THAT HOLE! OH MY GODDDD

I'M GONNA LOSE ITHFKDGHKAFKLG don't go digging around in this portal to the 9th circle oh my god please i'm holding my face bracing myself for this guy to lose his arm and spray blood like a hose

YEP SOMETHING CHOMPED DOWN ON HIM OHHHHHH SWEET JESUS i regret this i regret every choice that brought me to this moment in my life

here's the thing, all it was was a giant rat? but now...

something's happening...

theeee statue's sucking his blood in nnnoooohohohoho

ohhhhhh no HANG UP ZOZO. GET OUTTA HERE.

but this idiot's having the time of his life while the rabies from that rat sets in.

i can't take any more of this tonight i'm TOO PEEPEE SCARED and also it's after midnight and i need sleep. which i CAN'T GET NOW having gazed into the vortex of my demise.

scale of one to ten, this was a thirteen on horrible ideas, my computer is haunted now, i'm haunted, the hellraiser is coming FOR ME PERSONALLY, just as soon as he's done siccing his rats on unsuspecting frat bros slash business owners. ugh. UGH.

anyway, check out the hellraiser theme, it's tight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kswWeezE7hA

i'll see you again soon for more abject terror!

#picspam #terry farrell #ds9

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