#gotta maintain his physique to catch all those criminals

[juicifeur]

The Guy at the Bar (Lucifer x reader)

Summary: Lucifer decides to go to a bar and get drunk to deal with his problems

AN: I haven’t written in months, so be kind :)

Word count: 1.1k

One drink after the other, he sat at the bar hoping he would feel numb. His head had begun to feel heavy with drink and when he turned it the room lagged. With his energy in the toilet since becoming more or less human, all he felt like doing was drinking, and plotting his sweet revenge against those good-for-nothing Winchesters.

One of the bartenders brought around another bottle of...something. Her name tag read Stacy, and her shirt clung tightly around her chest. Her hands worked quickly and gracefully with the bottles as she poured him another and took the empty’s away. Not bad. He thought as he sipped. The burn that trickled down his throat was less-so than it had been when he started, but the feeling in his head kept getting lighter and lighter. He hadn’t felt this good since before he lost his grace.

He had never really spent time with humans, considering that he thought they were a bunch of primitive mud-monkeys, who didn’t deserve a lot of what they got. But all things aside, he did appreciate the chaos they caused when using substances like this. Made them fun to watch at least.

   “And then they locked me in a big cage for the ‘greater good’ and it ‘saved humanity’,” He rolled his eyes and drank again. The second bartender, you, nodded along with the story, as you had probably a million times to hundreds of different customers. This guy just clearly needed to talk.

The bar was empty except for your current customer and the other bartender.

   “Sounds like quite the story.” You muttered, cleaning the counter with a damp cloth. It was nearly closing time. The 8pm-2am shift was starting to take its toll and you could feel your limbs slowly starting to lose the ability to work efficiently. All you wanted was to go home and sleep for the next two days.     The only thing that seemed to keep you awake was the man sitting across the bar. He wore dark colours, and they made his eyes look darker than they probably were which made him all the more enticing. Slowly taking him in, your tired eyes wandered over his broad shoulders and stubbled chin. Then you realized his lips were moving, and you had to start paying attention again. It wouldn’t be long before your brain would begin to shut down for the night, taking your inhibitions with it.    “Now my son is stuck with those mutton-heads and I can’t get anywhere near him,” He drank.    “So, I killed a lot of people and tried to destroy the world one time and I’m the bad guy.” Lucifer finished off his drink and looked up at you. Having no idea where this conversation had come from, you just smiled and nodded.

He sighed.

   “Here,” You said, pouring two shots and sliding one to the man across the counter. He looked up into your eyes and smiled softly.

   “I feel like you understand everything.” He lay his chin on the top of his arms on the bar and smiled up at you. At this point, he was very far gone, his eyes sparkling with drunkenness and something evil, but you smiled back down at him anyway. He wasn’t too bad looking, quite attractive in physique; and if you liked the rugged, slightly crazy type, then he was practically a score and a half. He looked like the kind of guy that teaches kindergarten, but apparently had a sex dungeon at home considering how much he was talking about being in a cage. Hopefully never confused the two.

   “I’m telling you, bartending is like therapy with alcohol.” You smiled and proceeded to clean another glass and set it back on its hook.

   “What’s your name?”    “Lu- uh Nick.” Lucifer responded quickly. Remembering that most folks didn’t exactly like to chat casually with the devil, or the criminally insane.    “Alright then, Nick. Anything else you got on your mind?” You took back the shot you made for yourself and breathed out, setting the glass in the sink. The shift was almost over anyway. The man in front of you did the same and handed you the empty shot glass. He shook his head.

   “No, not really.”

   “Well then I guess it’s time for the bill then.” You turned around and started to ring up everything he’d ordered. Hopefully he would still leave a tip.

   “Wait. I gotta pay for these?” He  looked at all the empty glasses that had started to pile up in front of him and you laughed.

Nice smile, Lucifer thought. Would look better on my floor.. No wait that’s not how it goes...     “How many have you had tonight?” You asked, pulling him out of his mind long enough to maintain eye contact.    “Enough.” He puffed out his cheeks and breathed back out, a puff of warm air, scented with enough alcohol to knock out a bear. It would have made you dizzy if you weren’t already so tired. You didn’t exactly know how he was still sitting upright.

Lucifer reached into the back pocket of his jeans for the money he had and put it on the counter, all three dollars and twenty five cents. You stared at him for a moment.

   “Well, I agree. Maybe you should have a glass of water.” You started filling a glass from the tap and he scoffed, his shoulders slumping forwards.

It wouldn’t be the first time that you had to let a customer go without paying. Your boss didn’t like it very much. But from experience, you knew that the hangover only got worse when you woke up and realized how much you’d spent on alcohol.

   “Never understand why you humans drink this stuff. The molecules are so boring, there’s nothing good about it.” He groaned softly.

   “Keeps us hydrated, and it’ll make the headache you’ll have tomorrow a little less nerve-damaging.” You chuckled softly and leaned on the bar as the alcohol started to visibly catch up with the man in front of you.

   “Maybe w’ should get together sometime.” He smiled wickedly and his head lolled to one side for a moment. With that goofy grin on his lips he looked like a cat that ate the canary. You smirked softly, wondering why you found him so attractive.    “Yeah, maybe we can take over the world together, handsome.” You started to flirt back, finding your inhibitions lowered by the attractive man at the bar and his mysterious eyes. “I thought you'd never ask.” The man smirked.

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