#grosses out or sick whenever i see this certain ship with this one character on it idk with another and its tagged as the ship

[did-he-just-hiss-at-me]

A Lonely Birthday?

warnings: very long. apologies if it takes a long time to scroll past; loneliness, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, touch starvation, war mention(a food war), food mention

summary: Logan almost feels lonelier than ever, on the day of his creation, aka his "birthday".

ships: platonic dlampr, romantic intruloceit

au: Making Amends(my au, post-agreement)

notes: it's no longer nov 3rd here but screw it. also whoops??? i'm kinda projecting onto logan???? if it makes him out of character, sorry ~-~"

--- (cant cut on mobile)

Logan awoke to hear some commotion downstairs. Sounded like a ton of metal hitting the kitchen's tiled floor. Sitting up, he put on his glasses and checked his alarm clock. It was roughly 5AM. Nobody's usually up at this time, except for Virgil on rare occasion. But then again, Virgil is way too cautious to make so much noise.

Sunlight was shining bright through his mindscape window; burning his eyes, and forcing him to look away. Logan glanced over at the ocean creature themed calendar on his door, a big red circle catching his attention. His birthday.

Logan felt an unfamiliar feeling in his stomach, presumably the "sinking feeling" that the others talk about. He wasn't used to having so much attention focused on him as it is, today had to be worse.

Things had been a bit difficult in the mindscape despite them simultaneously getting better; the divide between The Dark Sides and The Light Sides is diminishing fast(at this point, they can even enter each other's common areas without getting sick) and everyone was working through their issues for once.

It felt stupid to be so worked up over an inconsequential day like this. But ever since he started opening up he'd been feeling all sorts of illogical things. Emotions, and stuff. Revealing things that he never would have prior to the merge starting. Logan had been mildly touch starved for ages and gotten used to being ignored for so long... he didn't know what he was feeling or what to feel and it was happening so fast. Logan previously was purposefully hiding whenever he could because everything felt so wrong. It left a chilling, hollow feeling in his chest and the palms of his hands.

But... he shouldn't be doing this. Logan knows this. It's illogical to express these behaviors, and he was trying hard to get through this confusing time. So, Logan was going to make today the best of his birthdays(since he had a track record of lonely birthdays.)

Logan changed out of his pajamas, into a nice outfit, slightly different than usual due to his special day. Instead of his usual shirt, he had a black long-sleeve collared shirt on, and his tie now was dark indigo & purple with constellations. A gift from last year's christmas, from Virgil.

Logan almost got caught up in thoughts about how close he used to be to Virgil(their friendship had been dwindling,) but that was interrupted by more noise; this time hearing more things hitting the floor along with panicked shouting.

Logan walked down the hall, over to the kitchen, or he would have if not for a certain liar stopping and grabbing his shoulder. "Horrible morning, Lo. What brings you out here this early? It's almost 5:30AM, I know better than anyone that isn't part of your schedule." questioned Deceit. He seemed to be nervous.

"Although I should be asking you the same since I know you're a late sleeper, I'll let it slide for the moment." Logan replied while looking at Deceit's semi dark circles, clearly revealing his lack of sleep. "But if you must know, I've heard commotion coming from the kitchen twice now and I'm getting concerned."

Deceit's eyes widened mid-yawn "No-no-no Logan;" he stopped Logan as he started to leave again. "I checked on them already, they're absolutely fine, no worries!"

Logan looked at snakey side with suspicion. Deceit was still trying his hardest to control his lying more often, which results in him accidentally making truths sound like lies.

"I will, uh, take your word for it. I guess i can go back to sleep or something. Let me know when breakfast is ready, babe." Logan informed Dee, who was blushy from being called 'babe'.

"Oh I, uh-absolutely not then, see you!" Deceit hissed nervously & quietly dashed away to the kitchen. It didn't hit him that he forgot to wish his nerdy boyfriend a happy birthday, he was too concerned about making sure the others didn't get into trouble.

...

Deceit entered the kitchen, late enough to see a disaster all over. There was flour, batter, jam, & frosting all over the room, including on the ceiling. He glanced over at Patton & Roman(whom were making breakfast) and saw sheepish expressions on their faces. He then turned his head over to Virgil & Remus, who were starting out the cake. Virgil & Remus had the most ingredients all over them, as if they were in a battlezone, with Patton & Roman looking as if they got stained in the crossfire.

"What the heck happened here?! You guys didn't wake Logan up, he was nowhere close to coming in here and- ugh!" he questioned, clearly disconcerted. Deceit was freaking out over the disaster before him.

"We can explain!" Roman whisper-shouted.

"We have 3 explanations!" blurted out Virgil.

"Pick your favorite!~" Remus exclaimed with a sing-songy voice, grinning. He was hanging from the ceiling, directly above the anxious Side. He then promptly fell onto the emo. "aCK-!" "ooF, sorry Virge!"

Roman was snickering at the two on the floor, but Patton elbowed him. "ow- Sorry!" quietly came from the prince's mouth.

"Logan almost came out here and spoiled the surprise because of our actions! We need to be more careful; Today needs to be perfect for Logan, he deserves it!" exclaimed Patton.

"Wrong. Now Patton, how close are you two being done with the Loganberry pancakes?" Deceit asked patiently. Logan was back asleep, but it was nearing the time he was supposed to wake up, 7AM. They, but especially Deceit, did not want Logan to have to work at all today. He already has a work-free schedule today, but they didn't want to take chances.

"They're almost done!" Patton replied. "Dee, Roman, you guys get out all the toppings please! Virgil, I would love it if you would set up the table for us; And Remus-" Patton's instructions were interrupted by the mustachioed Side.

"Oh oh, can I go get Logan out of bed? I wanna do this personally!" Remus energetically asked with his hand up, like a kid in school.

"Well, I was gonna ask you to bring the pancakes"-Patton pointed to the large plate stacked with Loganberry Pancakes-"to the table, but I'll let you do that instead as long as you don't bring anything Logan may find gross to the table at least this one time."

"I was already planning on doing that, you don't think that I would want to make Logan's day special too?" a sarcastically accusatory tone came from the green creative Side.

"Not at all!" Patton chuckled nervously. "Permission granted."

"Goody!" Remus exclaimed with childlike glee. Roman rolled his eyes with a smile at his brother. His rat-like brother sure did love that nerd.

...

As the the other sides were finishing setting up breakfast at the table, Logan's alarm went off. Gentle classical music waking him from his sleep-or rather, nap. Stepping out of bed, the smell of crofters filled his nose. He could smell his favorite Loganberry Pancakes all the way from here.

During Logan's tidying up of his appearance, Remus knocked on the door(and then proceeded to open it despite no response. Classic Remus.) "Oh Lo-Lo! Wakey wakey! Patton & Roman made breakfast! Guess what it is~!" the green & black fanciful Side shouted, with a bit of flair in his rhetorical question.

"Well Remus, I'm sure you knew that I could smell them from my room, I could smell Crofters from anywhere." the nerd chuckled.

Remus laughed. "Of course I knew that, my dear blackhole!" Logan smiled at the nickname.

The Duke came over to his favorite nerd across the room and gave him a big hug, and his usual good morning kiss. "See you at breakfast!"

Remus sunk out, feeling as if something had slipped his mind. But if his time with Deceit has taught him anything, 'If you forgot it, it couldn't have been important.' Remus didn't know that his snake friend was lying.

Logan stood there for a moment. Twice now; his boy friends showed no indication that they knew it was his birthday. Logan didn't even know why he cared; they had no reason to be celebrating such events, they were just metaphysical human beings inside of Thomas's head. Celebrating birthdays and stuff had no impact.

But still, it left Logan with an empty feeling, Remus's warmth being replaced with the usual chill he felt.

...

Hearing Logan's familiar footsteps approach the dining room, Virgil glanced and over and noticed the living room-which was openly connected to the dining room-had noticeable decorations, causing his eyes to widen in fear. Sitting across from Roman, he whisper-shouted to the royal; "Roman! The decorations! Lo's coming!!"

"What? Oh, right!" quietly came the response. Roman stood up and did a magic spell using his hands, causing the living room to be disguised with a glamour. He had been saving this particular spell for a while, he cannot use spells too often outside of the imagination. The red-sashed prince was glad to have it handy.

"Wow, Roman!" Patton admired, just as he closed the curtains of the window between the kitchen and dining room. They didn't want Logan to see the mess after all, so the door between the two rooms was shut too. "If only I could do that!"

"Maybe if you struck a deal with the Dragon Witch, haha!" the prince responded.

Logan entered the room and stopped when we saw all the food across the table. His eyes were filled with wonder. "Wow..."

"Morning, Lo-Lo! It was your turn to have your choice of breakfast, but we knew what you would want anyway!" greeted Patton.

"Sup, L." "Good morning, nerd!" came from the other two whom had yet to greet him.

Logan sat down at the only empty seat, right beside his loving boyfriends, Deceit & Remus. His pancakes were just the way he loved them: Perfectly thin, just the right amount of fluffiness; and they were topped with syrup, whipped cream, and an assortment of berries.

"Hey, just the way I like them. Thanks." said Logan to nobody in particular. He glanced at each of them with a smile.

"No problem Logan, that was not my doing." answered Deceit.

"I wanted to help too though!" cried Remus.

"You tried to drench his pancakes in chocolate syrup..." Everybody else laughed.

"It's alright Remus, I don't need you to do this for me to know how much you love me." Logan comforted Remus with his smile.

"Get a room!" groaned Roman & Virgil, sarcastically. They both giggled after that, seeing the couple blush before them.

...

"So, any plans for today? Anything special that I may have forgotten to add to my calendar?" queried Logan.

"Oh Logan, there's no way you would be forgetting something, you always have everything on the calendar the moment you hear about it!" dismissed Patton.

"Oh, alright then, good to know." Disappointment. None of them had said Happy Birthday. He didn't want to just mention it, that feels wrong. So he carried on with breakfast.

By the time he was finished, the Creativi-twins were already gone; Virgil was on his phone, showing a bunch of animal photos and wholesome memes to Patton(who was right next to him), and Deceit was in the kitchen. Logan got up to go wash his plate; Patton noticed and nudged Virgil to go stop him, pointing at both Virge and Logan's plates. Virgil nodded.

"Oh, Lo, let me get that for you!" the hoodie-wearing Side got up and yelled, stopping Logan from walking into the kitchen. He gently took Logan's plate away from him and hastily went into the kitchen, making sure to not let Logan see as much behind the door as possible.

Logan, being oblivious said "Oh... uhm, ok. Thank you Virgil." and sank back into his room.

Patton quickly sank out to get Remus & Roman so they could continue with decorating.

"Alright you two, you can get back to decorating the living room!"

"Thank goodness, I wasn't sure how much longer I could take." said Roman with a relieved sigh. You see, Roman can't hold a spell outside the imagination up for long without feeling discomfort and having to put all his focus into it. The Creatwins had lied saying they had something to do together, and went to Roman's room so they don't raise suspicion around Logan.

"But I wanna keep helping Emo-nesance with the cake!" cried Remus.

"Don't worry Remus; I'm sure your creativity would be more helpful to Roman since you have a better idea of what Logan likes!" Patton reassured.

"Plus, you were sorta the cause of that huge mess to begin with, we need to clean that up. NOT have a bigger disaster." added Roman.

Remus agreed and they went to work decorating.

...

Virgil shut the door, relieved. He heard Logan's "thank you" outside the door, but was too anxious to respond. This anxiety-based side was leaning up against the door, taking deep breaths.

"Wow, Virgil. You don't look like you're going to flip out. What happened?" questioned Deceit, whom was washing the dishes.

"Logan almost came in here and saw the mess." was the reply, between a few deep breaths.

"Well, bad thing you stopped him then."

"I wouldn't have noticed if not for Patton, haha." Virgil said as he walked away from the door. "Speaking of which, I'm waiting on him to get the twins so Pat & I can finish up the cake;" glancing over at the bowls of cake batter & frosting strewn across the counters along with other baking things.

Patton suddenly opened the door, the door hitting the wall and making a loud, sudden noise. "Alright! Cake & bake time!" he giggled. Virgil jumped about a foot, clearly caught off guard.

"I- L- Uhm- Oh-...Phew... it's just you Patton. Speak of the angel." he said with relief, adding a chuckle at the end. "I thought you were Logan for a moment there."

"Sorry to scare you kiddo!" came as an apology from the Dad. "Setting that aside, let's finish this cake! Do you wanna help, D- ...Oh."

Deceit had slipped out of the room before either side could notice.

"No worries Pat, he's probably wrapping up his gift now, he mentioned it to me earlier." winked Virgil, acknowledging his pun.

That pun, of course, was met with a hug that almost toppled the two over.

...

It continued to repeat.

Alone in his room. Feeling the need to leave his room. Being subtly stopped, going back to his room. Finally come out for meal(for the final two meals, two different Sides got to choose the meal, but they chose something they knew Logan would like that wouldn't be too suspicious), nothing happens, return to his room again, repeat.

8PM. Logan felt what he predicted to be 'heartache' in his chest. It really does seem like everybody forgot, even though he did try his hardest to make subtle hints here or there, but perhaps they were just too difficult for the others. (Hint, they actually weren't subtle...)

Curled up on top of his bed, tears forming in his eyes, and that hollow chill returned. This was illogical to for him to feel. He shouldn't be dealing with these issues, that's Patton's job. Logan's expectations of the others were too high, they had forgotten his birthday. He really should have said something earlier. But it was way too late now.

Logan felt cognitive distortions flow through his thoughts. He couldn't control them. He began to think that finally intentionally opening himself up to the others was a mistake. Perhaps he would be the same as before if he just never fell in love. Or joined the FamILY. Things could have been easier. He wouldn't have to feel pain like this.

It was way too early to go to bed, but as the tears trailed down his cheeks, he found himself setting his glasses on his nightstand and pulling his weighted blanket over his shivering body.

...

"Alright everyone, is everything ready?" semi-loudly announced Patton.

"Decorations: Done!" Roman confirmed, high-fiving his twin. The two did a great job, they really got what Logan would like just perfectly. Not too extravagant, just a perfect balance.

"I didn't check with everybody already, none of Logan's gifts are ready." responded the snake-Side with an excited and reassuring expression.

"The cake is done, you know that already, Pop-corn." Virgil said with a metaphoric nudge. It was a two-layer, whipped-vanilla-frosted, galaxy-theme-decorated sheet cake. And both layers have crofters frosting inbetween the top and bottom half. Not too much to overwhelm the cake's taste, just perfect.

"I know Virge, I just wanted to hear everybody say that they're done! It makes it feel more complete." admitted Patton. "So that means we're all ready! Get to your places everybody, I'm going to sink out and get Lo-Lo!"

The other four sides scrambled to their places as the sky-blue Side tried to sink into the hall, right into Logan's room. He even made sure his entry was clear. But despite his efforts, he was met with a thump. He couldn't get through.

He tried a few more times. "That's odd, i'm almost always welcome in his room. It's very hard to particularly block somebody out." concern came from Patton's mouth.

"Let me try-" Virgil tried to say but was interrupted by Deceit.

"Yes. Despite my suspicions, this isn't one bit more serious. It might be worse that his boyfriends try to get him." the scaley Side reasoned.

Virgil nodded. "I guess you're right. But what do you mean, your 'suspicions'?"

"Well, you see... It takes alot of brain power to consciously block someone from entering your room. You could stop me from entering yours after all." Deceit paused to look the purple emo in the eyes.

"But it can't easily be done subconsciously, if it's what you want. Logan's unlikely sleeping... which is half the reason I am concerned."

"What do you mean, Fibber On The Roof?" asked Roman, with an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

"One, Logan absolutely sleeps at this time. He prefers to get 8 hours of sleep, period. Sleeping now would lead to too much sleep. Second... well, why wouldn't he want to keep any of us out?" Deceit directed his answers to Roman.

"Why would our dork be asleep at this time?" questioned Remus with a bit of concern.

"I know, but we definitely shouldn't go see what's going on..." responded the snake, lowering his head a bit. "Let's try walking there."

As the sides walked down the hallway to Logan's door Virgil put a hand on the Dad's shoulder, catching his attention. "Do you feel... something weird around us? Like, emotionally?"

"Oh... now that you mention it, I knew I felt something off... it's a sad aura for sure." was the reply. "How did you know?"

"I could feel something too. I think it has something to do with Logan..." Virgil said with a hint of concern.

The two chatting sides, who were a bit behind the others, finally got to the door. "I think you might just be right." reaffirmed the cardigan-wearing Side.

Deceit knocked on the door, in a specific pattern. Two knocks, two knocks, three knocks. Logan & Dee created a door-knocking code to know the basics of why they were trying to come in. Deceit used the "Worried about you" knock.

There was no response. The lying Side tried to turn the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge. Everyone glanced at each other with increasing worry. "Logan, please wake up and unlock the door. This isn't like you." Patton tried.

Roman whispered to Remus. The green twin nodded and summoned his morning star. Everyone was already stepped to the side, so Roman walked to the opposite side of the wall to L's room and prepared to charge.

Virgil had been discussing with Deceit when he noticed what was about to happen. "Roman, what are you-" the red royal Side finally charged. "ROMAN DON'T-" Virgil yelled, catching the others attention, causing them to watch.

Roman ran up to the door and tried to break it open with his brother's morning star. Upon impact, instead of breaking like wood, it acted like solid metal. There wasn't even a scratch on the logical nerd's dark blue door.

Due to the unexpected outcome, Roman fell over, hitting his elbows and shoulder blades on the ground as he tried to save himself. "ROMAN!" cried the cat-loving dad.

Patton & Remus went and helped Princey up, while the other two just stood there and shook their heads. "I'm good, don't worry guys. I've been through worse."

"If Logan does want us to come in, what made you think breaking the door would work?" queried Deceit about Roman's decisions.

"...Well, when you put it that way, I guess that makes sense. But it was worth a shot, right Lyin' Manuel Miranda?" Roman sheepishly tried to reason.

Deceit sighed and shook his head again. "Well, luckily for us, I think I thought of a solution that could work." the snake shape-shifted into, well, a snake.

"Oh, oh! I'll come too!" exclaimed Remus, shape-shifting into a tiny rat, the same height as Deceit.

As the two successfully snuck under the door, the other three watched them with surprised looks. Virgil broke the silence, saying "Roman, I'm not gonna lie, but I thought your idea was more plausible than theirs." (heh, Dee pun)

...

Once through, Logan's boyfriends shifted back to their regular forms. They saw their nerd lying on his bed sideways, turned away from them and grasping his star-themed weighted blanket tightly. (heh, another Dee pun)

Deceit whispered in Remus's ear. "Go unlock the door and let everyone in. Make sure they stay quiet and to the side for now. We don't want to overwhelm him." Remus nodded and went to get the others.

The snake-faced Side walked over to the logical Side's bed and sat in front of him. He started to rub his back and gently wake his boyfriend up.

"Logan, hey, wake up, please."

Logan groaned and opened his eyes. They were red, like he'd been crying. Well, now that he noticed it, Deceit could see tear track stains on the nerd's cheeks. Logan's expression changed from a tired one to a worried one as soon as he realized who woke him up.

"Dee, why are you in here...?" he queried with a mildly distressed tone.

"Well, first of all, you're not following your schedule which was concerning us, second off you were forbidding us from entering while you slept, and third, we-" Deceit's ramblings were cut off by Logan pulling him into a hug.

"Dangit, that wasn't very smart of me..." Logan choked out with a half-hearted chuckle. Voice shaking, he continued with "I... I sh-should've said something-"

"-What do you mean?" Right on cue, the others entered and were listening. Logan still hasn't noticed them.

"I've felt so lonely all day... I haven't felt this feeling since before we all made amends, it all feels so wrong and illogical and it doesn't help th-that-" he started sobbing into Dee's chest.

At this point everyone came up and started to comfort Logan. His boyfriends were hugging him tight, Patton was rubbing circles and other shapes into Logan's back, and the other two were just making sure their presence was known by occasionally saying comforting words with the others.

Finally after what felt like hours(but was actually a quarter of an hour, Logan spat out the rest of his sentence from before. "I-I thought... that you guys had forgotten about my birthday..." he said in between sniffles.

Realization hit all of them at once. They all had been practically ignoring them while they were making sure his party was perfect, not to mention none of them even wished him a happy birthday.

"Oh L... we're all so sorry." apologized Virgil on behalf of the others.

"We were all just so busy behind the scenes, we forgot to make sure you felt notice today!" explained Roman.

"It's quite alright, Roman," said Logan, smiling though there were tears still in the nerd's eyes. "Although... what do you mean 'behind the scenes'?"

The others glanced at each other. Remus stepped in, saying "Oh, you'll see! Go ahead and tidy yourself up first-"the green Side pointed at Logan's messy hair, tear-stained cheeks, reddened eyes and wrinkled clothing. "-And then, you might want to come to the living room, haha!" he laughed. Patton nodded.

"Let Virgil know when you're ready, we'll be in the living room." The others sunk out; while Virgil left the room. Before he was out of sight, he winked at Logan with a gentle smile.

...

In the living room, the others waited in the dark, quietly. They heard footsteps approach, or rather, just Logan's. Virgil has light footsteps, after all. "-I really don't see the point in having my eyes covered Virgil, I can't see where I'm going-"

Patton whisper-yelled. "They're coming, stay in your positions!"

"-Don't worry Logan, we're almost there, just a little more... There!" Virgil finished guiding Logan to the center of the living room and removed the scarf he had tied over his eyes.

Virgil flicked the lightswitch beside him, and everyone jumped out, yelling "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOGAN!"

A happy birthday, indeed.

...

(Epilogue: His gifts uwu)

"Alrighty Lo-Lo, are you ready to open our gifts?" Patton asked, bouncing with excitement.

"Why, of course."

"Alright then, open mine first!" Patton handed Logan a large(about as big as his torso), shiny, blue gift bag.

Upon opening it, he found a light brown stuffed bear and a little white notecard. Logan took a moment to admire the bear, he was awestruck by it. It was super soft and cuddly, its face was comforting to look at; The belly, paws, and inner ears were white and covered with tiny, shiny blue stars. The eyes changed depending on the angle you looked at it; Green at some angles, then brown, blue, purple, and so on. It even had a nice indigo galaxy print bow tied around the neck with the bow in the back.

"Patton... this is... impractical, but I love it regardless." he said with a smile.

Patton came up and gave him a hug. "Don't forget to read the card!" he cheerily reminded.

The small card had a cute little bear face and a bunch of stars all over it. Logan read it aloud; 'To our favorite left-brain nerd, Lo-Gi bear.' He groaned and gently pushed Patton away, while everyone else laughed.

"Here, you cannot open mine next." offered the snake. Deceit handed Logan a black, square box about the width of a shoe, tied with a silver ribbon.

Logan opened it to find a petaminx rubiks cube inside. All twelve sides(heh) matched each of his friends and himself, everyone having two themed sides each. The designs were intricate, making it so he would have to perfectly solve it; and Logan loved it.

Logan gave Deceit a big hug. "Thank you so much, Dee, this is wonderful." Deceit responded with "Of course, specs. I saw that the plain rubix cube you have was getting too easy for you, so I spent a while making this one for you."

Once their hug ended, Virgil cleared his throat and spoke up. "Here's mine, it's nothing really special..." the emo handed Logan a clothing giftbox and stuffed his hands back in his hoodie pockets.

Logan opened the box to find a nice blue cardigan sweater(like this one but with silver buttons and subtle constellations all over) inside. "'Nothing special'? Virgil, I cannot describe how much I appreciate this. Thank you." Logan reassured Virgil with a smile. Virge smiled back.

"Try it on, Lo!" cheered Patton, silently clapping.

Logan snaps his fingers, and immediately he's wearing the cardigan. It fits him well, definitely making him look more handsome. His boyfriends were swooning, and his friends were admiring the fact that for once, Logan looks so much happier.

"Well then; Roman, would you like to show me your gift next?" Logan snapped everyone back to reality, slightly blushing still.

"Oh! Of course, Galaxy Geek! Although, I must confess-" Roman started before Remus excitedly interrupted him.

"We had a big influence on each other's gifts! It's still our own gifts to you but we never would have finished these on our own!" Lo's ratty boyfriend proudly chuckled.

"Aww, I'm proud of you two!" cheered Patton once more. He hugged the Creatwins tight, happy with the progress they've been making.

"Thanks, Pat." Roman gave his gratitude. "Anyways," the prince pulled away from the hug. "You might wanna prepare yourself Lo, this is going to be big!" he boasted.

He presented a Book-sized moving-esque box, but much nicer. When Logan unwrapped the box, he was met with several thick, leather-bound books. Each had a title on them, written in silver ink.

"I've been working for ages, writing all these stories that I knew you would love!" Roman began to explain. "I even accidentally missed last year's christmas working on them..." he regrettably admited. "Oh, and last time, when I gave you that Sherlock Holmes fanfiction I knew that you weren't exactly a fan of the cover, so I spent a lot of time making these nice leather covers!"

Logan was surprised. "Wow, Roman... these are definitely intriguing. Thank you... wait, Remus said he helped you with these, what did he do?" he questioned.

"Oh, Remus gave me inspiration! Since prior to us all becoming friends once more, we had been unintentionally ignoring you, I wasn't quite sure what you would be interested in reading. So I went to Remus for most of the ideas, and had Deceit confirm some of the more concerning recommendations. Right Dee-More-Chill?" Roman answered, turning to the snake for confirmation.

Deceit nodded. "But speaking of our friendly stinkman, where did he go?" he looked around.

"Up here!" Remus called. He was hanging from the ceiling, again. He dropped off and fell into the deceitful Side's arms, only to be met with a bitter reaction from Virgil.

"Aw come on, I had him fall on top of me, and you caught him?!"

"Now now kiddo, relax; We're trying to fix things, remember? Let's not start a fight over something small." Patton gently reminded.

Virgil nodded. Remus ran over to the closet to get his present, calling his twin over to help carry it out. It was a large painting of a galaxy, subtly divided in thirds. One side was Roman's part of the imagination, the other side was Remus's part of the imagination, and the middle was the night sky in the real world.

Logan was-'pun not intended'-starstruck. It was beautiful. The fanciful brothers set the painting down and Logan walked up and gave them a big hug, followed by everyone else joining in.

"I told you, he would love it bro." Roman poked Remus's cheek.

"Yep! That big empty spot on the wall beside your bed had been bothering me for a while, so I thought this painting would be amazing! Roman helped with his sky and the real sky since I'm not too familiar with them." the Duke explained.

Logan chuckled. "To me, all of your existences are good." he told them, which was met with a tighter hug.

That night, they fell asleep in that same room, marathoning a ton of Logan's favorite movies and whatever else he wanted to watch.

Perhaps, Logan will finally admit to himself celebrating birthdays isn't so bad.

[irageneveart]

there are so many things a 16 years old person should be doing beside throwing hate, BUT HERE YOU ARE BEING A BRAT

@bfmyers I really can't take this anymore, are you really that full of hypocrisy to scream TOXIC left and right while you yourself use your free time to only spread hate? I don’t usually do this and I try to stay away from useless discourse but you're just kicking on my nerves way too much

under the cut cause boy I have a lot to say. (really, it’s long. I needed to point out everything)

I'm going to kindly tell you to fuck off artists' backs.

you have 0 fucking knowledge of what you're talking about yet you're making callouts and worse, people agree! the same people who supported the artists before by reblogging and liking their art are now shitting on them and "ihh no more reblogs from them" only because you write a lengthy shit in which not only that you threaten a human being, you don't even know how to argue. a link to a picture and screaming "toxic" ISN'T A GODDAMN ARGUMENT

people of this community, PLEASE use your fucking brains and don't bow your head to what every nameless kid has to say. you don't have to believe me either, just use your fucking brain and heart and do the decision making yourself

Now, you did a callout post on @dbd-omija pointing out how toxic they are!!! omg gasp animal death? abuse?? HOW IS THAT pOsSIbLe

where have you been until now because this is a horror community:

in the TCM universe inbreeding is mentioned multiple times

in the Halloween movies Michael kills two dogs and eats one of them

omija clearly stated they went with the 1978-2018 timeline BUT NO YOU KEPT SCREAMING BECAUSE HOW DARE THEY SAY SOMETHING AGAINST YOU

on that matter: in the halloween movies Michael's cult makes him rape his niece, in another movie Laurie, before jumping to what it seemed her death, kisses Michael's mask lips. GASP, when will you sue the directors?

after he escaped, Max literally slaughtered every living creature in that farm. put the DBD devs on your "I need to sue them cause I have something to say against this horror game!!!" list

If there’s something I can agree with you on, it’s about tags. Yes, these are triggers, yes tagging is important, but let’s not forget that being in this community IS about being surrounded by triggers. out of courtesy sure, we should tag our stuff accordingly, but to go all out to say “omija, if you’re reading this, i’m going to pee in your mouth.” HOW. IS. THIS. ACCEPTED?! HOW

HOW THE FUCK PEOPLE WHO REBLOGGED THAT CALLOUT THOUGHT YES THIS IS GOOD?!!?!

now you said that Omija's making all of these seem cute and that’s the real problem. this is where you are sooo wrong and let me explain:

a round head doesn't instantly make everything cute. there are many many details that the human eye perceives as cute, things that artists go to when they want their art to be seen as cute. from the color chosen to the way their eyes and mouths are drawn, to the very line work they’re using. yes, shapes count too, but this is not the case and we should get out of our tiny box and see the big picture. Their comics are not meant to be cute, actually much respect to them for being brave enough to approach well known subjects that are not explored. But that’s it. If YOU see it as cute then it’s your problem really. Art and fiction is prone to interpretation

If anything, how much cute stuff we have in the community should be the anomaly, not that someone draws anxious Bubba

omija's Amanda and Bubba art is problematic! someone asks why, you: because is toxic!!!

really? I actually think that, given their individual personalities, omija portraits the ship’s dynamic really well. Amanda is not dealing well with her feelings and with humans and Bubba has problems understanding things in general. they are two deranged people finding a way to cope and to accept another human presence nearby. "Amanda is picking on a disabled person how can you say it's well!!!!" let me remind you that his entire family is picking on his disabilities and the fact that he loves but also FEARS his family is a big theme in Leatherface's story and personality

Also, another argument of yours was about “the power play” and how that’s problematic. I’m...honestly surprised you even thought of this argument because the entire slasher fandom, the movies, everything slasher related IS BASED ON POWER PLAY. Have you read what they wrote for Laurie/Michael to say the ship is based on power play and it’s wrong? No, me neither, cause I don’t care, but you seem to care enough to vomit about it. Go read some things and tell me how problematic the writing is, you need to call out writers too after all

Btw, surprise! I don't ship neither of the mentioned ships, but I can use my brain enough to see what omija does is actually well made and well thought, sick, weird in some instances, but well thought. kudos to you artist. I can also see those who ship Laurie and Michael are still nice people

But just like you and many others I have my own morals (do you now? Exposing yourself like that to NSFW content while so many people are scared for their life because of people like you? hmmmm) and I can’t really stand explicit pedophilia. I’ve read so many books or seen so many movies where it was mentioned, it’s a trigger factor, it’s taboo, therefore is normal to be used in darker works. It all depends on the circumstances and the way it is presented, cause it’s a piece of fiction. Nobody attacked George R. R. Martin for the controversial things he had written in his books right? I wonder why

Because, another surprise, fiction is different than reality and only this argument alone should be enough, but some monkey brains out there will come to scream at me how fiction affects reality. Someone who writes a murder mystery isn’t actually killing people when they put pen to paper. People who play shooter games do not wish to shoot people in real life. Someone who writes about rape will not welcome the rapist in their arms nor do they wish to rape someone. So on, it’s simple, again, we just need to use our brains.

If you have bullying-related or a family related or any thing related trauma and you see a Michael/Laurie fic or Quentin/Freddy or whatever other ships or subjects you have seen around, and decide to click on it, and then you have a negative reaction, that fiction is not harming you. Your unresolved trauma is harming you. Your decision to read something when you know it triggers you is harming you. The past actions of yourself and those who inflicted harm upon you are harming you. All of those things – your trauma, your real-life bullies, your actions – are real, and have the ability to harm you. (the italic bits are from @dracfics who said it better than I ever could put in words. Thank you)

next on your "who am I going to shit on today" is @renlvbon

not gonna lie, for the omija callout I read everything searching to see whenever you are right or not. I don’t personally know either of the artists but I could read enough to see you’re just a self entitled person with something to say regarding everything. for ren's callout I simply skipped after I saw your argument.

you're not doing gods' work by opening people's' eyes that they can or should portray the characters the way they are, disabled and gross. no, you're just picking on someone's art style

Can we stop this toxic nonsense???

don't get me wrong, I agree that we shouldn't make them supermodels and we shouldn't erase what they are, fucking ugly and gross killers, but saying people who don't draw them a certain way are cowards or calling them out or whatever else shit is TOXIC and ANNOYING. We all change them more or less, we have to because none of us are the original creators! We’re just thirsty people making them to be what we want and what we imagine because they’re fucking fiction

I’ve seen people agreeing with you saying the artist should consider real people with disabilities or on the heavier side (“like me” they pointed out). I’m so sorry if this comes out as rude but if you search or need validation in a horror community that’s not a good thing at all! Body positivity and a healthy approach to disabilities should. not. be. searched. in. a. horror. community or any community on tumblr for that matter. You want some positivity on that? In a real case scenario with them we all would die, no matter how you look like

Going back to the artists, some people don't have experience/ are insecure/ are uncomfortable drawing body hair or fat bodies or whatever. That doesn’t make them fatphobic or whatever shit I saw you writing in your tags.

Drawing a black character less than the color YOU think is good? Have you ever tried to color skin? There are so many ways to do it, there are so so many colors you combine and you play around with + lighting and shading that alters everything. and yeah maybe some people pick a different color, a lighter one, or a more yellow one than they should for asiatic people, or whatever. but these tones are NOT easy to get well (you can always put a brown color down and to call it a day, but maybe people won’t want that. They don’t want to be disrespectful, exactly cause there are predators like you that don’t know how to help, only how to fucking scream). Or maybe they simply don’t know how. Every artist has their own range of comfort zone, be it about subject - composition - colors - etc. I don’t do well with neon colors for example, it happens. Hell even the screen you’re using alters the colors

How about giving actual tips, support and explanations instead of rude call outs? And don’t come at me with the “color picker” shit cause color picker from a real life photo is hell and if you don’t know some color theory your art is going to look dull and lifeless regardless

The only time I can agree that whitewashing is wrong is when white-supremacy, nazi and other ugly shits like these are coming into the topic. But it’s not the case here

some young artists don't have the skill to draw certain body shapes, or body hair, or even a non-anime face. some others think putting a scar on the character’s face make them 'uglier' and ‘scarier’ and for them that's enough AND THAT'S ALRIGHT

drawing something that's supposed to be ugly but still having anatomy and proportions and a functionable mouth or eyes placement or whatever ISN'T EASY. ofc, you can go all out if that's what you want, but personally I want things to still be working because at the end of the day every single one of them is human. I'm not drawing dark fantasy in this fandom, I'm drawing slashers

NO ONE IS DRAWING FOR YOU. NO ONE IS USING THEIR SKILL TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. art and writing, especially when is made in the free time of the creator, is made FOR THEMSELVES. If there are people enjoying it? Yay, that’s a win, but no one expects everybody on this planet to like what they’re doing. We’re getting back to that golden rule, DON’T LIKE: MOVE THE FUCK ON/ BLOCK AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. EASY. no one uses these unnecessary callouts for anything, if you have something to say do so kindly, if you can’t, just vent to your friends

So now let’s wrap it up cause IDK how many of you even make it through this point

can we fucking stop making young artists and writers cowards for drawing or writing how they can and however they fucking want? Please and thank you

this shit going on with "the best artist/writer for x y z character" or "conventionally drawing ugly Bubba uwu" will just destroy the confidence of whoever wants to keep drawing or writing or joining the fandom. There’s no competition who draws Bubba the ugliest nor who writes Michael the best. if you can do things a certain way, do it, and let the rest draw and write whatever they can WITHOUT FEARING THEY'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

now I'm waiting for your very "well" argumented reply but I hope you'll understand that what you're doing is TOXIC and you should stop or at least change your way to address things. You’re talking to other human beings, not a void when you can throw any random thought you have in the morning. I don't care about you to be honest, but there are so many people out there following your words mindlessly and the creators are suffering and it's not fair.

don't forget to tell me to go kill myself. have a nice day

[teganberry]

The Disney Princess Dilemma

Kingdom Hearts 3 has been a game filled with massive highs and devastating emotional lows. And while the game is both a critical and financial success for Square Enix, the opinions of dedicated fans have been rather divided. Overall the game is an amazing piece of entertainment, but there is one aspect of the narrative that most fans seem to agree is the game’s biggest flaw, the rather weak portrayal of it’s female characters, in particular Kairi.

Now before I dive in any deeper I want to make a few things clear. Kairi is one of my favourite characters in the Kingdom Hearts series, and has been since I first got into the series well over 15 years ago. As such this post is intended as a character study and discussion, not an excuses to bash on Kairi’s character or Nomura’s ability as a writer. I adore Kairi and I’ve got far too much respect for Nomura as a creative to so thoughtlessly throw hate around. Secondly, while I will be referring to certain character’s as being “Princes” and “Princesses”, shipping has got nothing to do with this, they are simply Disney character archetypes I want to explore. There is no hidden agenda here, just an honest discussion. Alrighty, this is going to be a long one, let’s jump in!

As it stands we have no idea what the future plot of the Kingdom Hearts series holds, the only person who does know is Nomura. Perhaps everything we’ve seen so far is all part of a bigger master plan that will one day blow all our collective minds away. But until then when it comes to the problem surrounding Kairi’s portrayal in Kingdom Hearts 3, the best way we can find the answers for where things potentially went wrong is to look back.

Since I completed the game and begun to see many of the complaints surrounding Nomura’s writing of Kairi, I begun to wonder how had it all come to this. A lot of people have concluded the main issue is that Nomura just doesn’t like Kairi anymore and he no longer knows what to do with her. Personally I don’t think that’s the case. If Nomura really was tired of her and she wasn’t working into his long term plans then he would have written her out of the plot a long time ago. But he didn’t. Kairi has continued to make significant appearances in a majority of the titles in the series. She has been front and centre in the promotional material for Kingdom Hearts 3, a great deal of the the game’s opening was focused on her, (even more so than Aqua which really surprised me), and the ending of the game seemingly sets Kairi right at the heart of whatever is about to come next in Sora’s journey. So then what went wrong? If Nomura doesn’t hate Kairi and isn’t bored with her then why was she relegated once again to the role of the damsel in distress? Well I believe it all comes back to her original role in the Kingdom Hearts series, Kairi is Square Enix’s Disney Princess.

One thing we have to keep in mind whenever you consider the development of a Kingdom Hearts game is that Disney is always at the heart of development process. Not just in the creation of the Disney worlds, but in how the original characters are designed, how they act, and how the overall story progresses. Kingdom Hearts is this weirdly impossible mix of JRPG and Disney storytelling that somehow works to create an utterly amazing greater whole. As such each character by design, especially in the case of the original Kingdom Hearts, can be seen as fitting into a number of well known Disney archetypes.

Most classic Disney films have three main character types the plot centres around, the Prince/Hero, the Villain, and the Princess. As the first game in the series, the developers wanted to make sure every aspect of the game was filled with that beloved Disney Magic. We see that Sora, Riku and Kairi were all purposefully written to embody these three classic archetypes. Sora is the daring Prince, he’s our hero and the one we know will save the day no matter what. Likewise Riku comes to embody the role of the Villain, as we constantly see him attempt to get in Sora’s way and undermine his journey. Now before any RIku fans jump down my throat, Riku obviously isn’t the true villain of the game as he also embodies that age old JRPG role of the rival to Sora’s hero. So we always knew Riku would be redeemed by the game’s end, but that doesn’t change the fact that for a time Riku was one of the bad guys. That of course means Kairi is the Princess, but not just any princess, she is purposefully written to embody the traits of a classic Disney Princess.

In Kingdom Hearts lore the original seven Princess of Hearts were comprised of Snow White, Aurora, Cinderella, Jasmine, Belle, Alice and Kairi. The Disney Princess are all very recognisable, and considering they are now the 7th highest grossing media franchise of all time (I’m not kidding! They make more money then the entire Harry Potter/Wizarding World franchise), it makes sense to see them grouped together in Kingdom Hearts. In comparison, at the time Kairi was a brand new character that the player knew very little about, and had never been associated with the Princesses before. So in order for her inclusion as a Princess of Heart in the narrative to work, Nomura needed to develop her character in such a way that the player would see and accept her as essentially a new Disney Princess. The best way to accomplish this then, with perhaps the exception of Alice in Wonderland, was to have Kairi’s role in the game unfold in a similar manner to what we often see occur in the other Princesses’ films, the often helpless Princess being captured or tormented by the villain, then eventually saved by the Prince. That’s why every time we see Kairi’s lifeless body throughout the entire game we can’t help thinking of Sleepy Beauty, because that’s exactly what Nomura want’s us to see. The game directly draws on the plot of Sleeping Beauty, Kairi embodies the sleeping Aurora, Sora is Prince Phillip charging forth with enchanted sword in hand, while Riku is being manipulated by the central villain of Sleepy Beauty herself, Malificent. Nomura’s narrative cements the subliminal suggestions in our minds and archives his goal, Kairi becomes a new kind of Disney Princess.

The narrative of having Kairi saved by Sora worked quite well in the original Kingdom Hearts, because the overall intention of that game was to create an experience reminiscent of the classic Disney films everyone grew up on. And while she was relegated to the role of damsel in destress for a large portion of the story, Kairi does get her moment to shine and show us that there’s more to being a princess than simply waiting to be rescued. Kairi represents the inner strength that balances out Sora and Riku’s outward power. Its a theme that has come to be associated with her character throughout all the main entries in the series.

So what was next for Kairi? Well as it turns out more of the same it seems. Kairi unfortunately finds herself being kidnapped by the villains once again in Kingdom Hearts 2, likely due to Nomura again wanting to make it clear that Kairi is the Princess of this story. But first lets take a look at the development of Kairi’s design over the course of the series. While initially being presented as a rather normal teenage girl in the first game, during the development of Kingdom Hearts 2 there was a conscious push to make Kairi even more Princess like than she had been in previous games. Her hair is longer, she wears a pretty pink dress now rather than shorts and tank tops, and her overall appearance is much more elegant and mature. In a cast interview with Kairi’s then english voice actress, Hayden Panettiere, it’s mentioned that she was often asked to raise her voice a few octaves to make Kairi sound more like a Princess. Kairi’s physical Princess evolution is pushed even further in Kingdom Hearts 3 when she is given a new battle dress and a hair cut that is somewhat reminiscent of Snow White. While this new outfit does appear hardier then her previous design, unlike her fellow Guardians Kairi does not wear any form of gloves or gauntlets to protect her hands, instead only wearing a few bracelets. Comparing her Kingdom Hearts 3 outfit to that of Sora and Riku’s does bring into question it’s overall practicality, but she is a Princess and the design makes that very clear visually.

For the sake of character development and future plot progression it makes sense to bring Kairi’s role as a Princess of Heart to the forefront, as it would soon come to play an even greater part in Kingdom Hearts lore. Having been born with a heart of pure light makes Kairi very unlike any other character in the series. But it seems in order to press upon the player that yes indeed Kairi is a Princess, In Kingdom Hearts 2 Nomura fell back on the old Princess needing to be saved by the Prince plot device in order to drive that home. Thankfully though things are changed up a bit this time around. Kairi is sick of waiting around, and whenever she gets the chance to strike out on her own to find her friends, both before and after being kidnapped, she does so without hesitation. She’s even given a Keyblade and is finally able to fight for herself this time! Hurray! Overall it isn’t great that Nomura chose to make Kairi the old school Disney damsel in distress again, but despite this we do see determination and growth in her character. Perhaps not as much as we see in Sora and Riku, but there is development none the less and by the end most fans were excited to see how she would continue to grow as a character in future instalments.

For a good while it did seem that Nomura was hinting at Kairi taking on a much bigger role in the highly anticipated Kingdom Hearts 3. It was revealed in Dream Drop Distance that Yen Sid intended for her to be trained as a Keyblade Wielder, ensuring she would become one of the Guardians of Light and take part in the second Keyblade War. And as I mentioned previously, Kairi was quite often front and centre in most of Kingdom Hearts 3’s marketing material. Her line “This time, I’ll protect you” was constantly used throughout said marketing for the game. It all looked promising for Kairi! But then we all know what happened.

Now before we jump into Kingdom Hearts 3 itself let’s take a step back to the years following the release of Kingdom Hearts 2, and consider what was happening over at Disney Animation at the time. After nearly a decade of creating films that were mostly considered not up to scratch, Disney decided to go back to their most tried and true formula for creating successful animated films, adapting fairytales, specifically Princess movies. While this was the most sensible choice to make, Disney were also keenly aware that their older brand of Disney Princess film would likely no longer appeal to a modern audience. Today young girls want to look up to brave, strong and charismatic heroines who aren’t afraid to carve out their own path in life. Watching a movie about a Princess waiting to be saved just wasn’t going to cut it anymore. So Disney adapted and ever since then we’ve been introduced to an all new kind of Disney Princess, Tiana, Rapunzel, Elsa, Anna and Moana, Princesses who are the hero of their own stories.

This is what audiences have come to expect of the Princesses, to stand proudly on their own two feet, no longer being relegated to position the damsel in distress. So when it was announced that Tangled and Frozen would be brand new worlds in Kingdom Hearts 3 it set an exception in the minds of fans. Here we had two beloved Disney films that feature strong and brave Princesses as the central characters. It only makes sense then that we should expect the same strength to flow through to the wonderful ladies of Kingdom Hearts. But that didn’t happen. Instead nothing really changed for any of them, and instead of pushing Kairi to grow into the modern Princess we all want her to be, Nomura held her back.

Now the question we need to ask here is why? Why did Nomura choose to not follow the new Disney trend when he has stuck so closely to their lead in the past? I suppose the only person who can truly answer that question is the man himself. But lets try and think about this logically, as I can see two likely reasons why this occurred. The first is the fact that overall Square Enix and many other gaming companies still don’t do a great job when it comes to writing realistic and truly relatable female characters. Not to say there are none, but it is still a prevalent problem none the less. Case and point Lunafreya from Final Fantasy XV. The fact that in order to get a true understanding of Lunafreya as a character and her true feelings, we’re going to have to read a novel that acts as an alternate happy ending to the original game says a lot. But I’m getting off topic here! The track record for the development of female characters in games isn’t great, that’s not an excuse and game companies really need to start doing better, but it is a possible explanation for why the plot of Kingdom Hearts 3 unfolded the way it did.

The second and more likely reason to have Kairi play the Princess in distress to Sora’s hero once again was probably due to time constraints. AAA video game production is a massive undertaking with very strict deadlines. As a result developers are often forced to sacrifice interesting story elements and mechanics in order to make sure that a game is able to reach said deadlines in a solid and workable condition. Final Fantasy XV is again an excellent example of this and what can go wrong. In the time since the game’s release it has more or less been confirmed that due to the incredibly strained production of the game a vast majority of story content was cut out, and the game was left in a rather obvious unfinished state narrative wise. We know that the engine swap during the development of Kingdom Hearts 3 from the Luminous to the Unreal engine had a big impact on the game’s development time, and pushed it’s final release date back significantly. So it goes without saying that things would have been cut in order to make up for lost time. The fact Nomura has confirmed that we will be receiving DLC fleshing out Xion’s role in Kingdom Hearts 3 more or less confirms this. At the end of the day Square Enix is a business and sometimes sacrifices need to be made in order to ensure a product can be developed properly and efficiently.

There is every possibility that Nomura had planned a number of different ways for Kairi to develop and grow as a protagonist in Kingdom Hearts 3 before her tragic death occurred, perhaps even fighting back as much as she could before being captured. But the problem lies in just how many loose ends needed to be tied up in the game with the limited development time they had. So much attention need to be paid to as many characters as possible to wrap everything up that you run the risk of the game becoming bloated, or things feeling rushed and unfinished. I’m not saying it was the right choice to cut out Kairi’s potential character growth, but we can see why it was easier for Nomura to fall back on having her be easily kidnapped again to move that part of the plot forward as quickly as possible so the momentum didn’t slow down. She is a Princess after all, right? Well no, that reasoning isn’t an excuse anymore, audiences expect far more from the Princesses and its time for Square Enix to follow Disney’s lead.

So what can be done? If the reason Kairi is being held back is due to her role as a Princess then can it be fixed? The simple answer is yes, it can. Disney have already clearly laid out what they now expect of female heroines and Princesses in their films. With the less than positive critical response to the development of the female protagonists in Kingdom Hearts 3, Square would be crazy not to jump at the chance to give fans what we want to see. Nomura clearly understood what it meant for a character to be a Disney Princess during the development of Kingdom Hearts 1, and I’m sure he’s very aware that audience expectations have changed. What needs to be done now is for Square to take that step forward alongside Disney and allow Kairi move on from her role as a Classic Princess and finally grow into a Modern Disney Princess, not simply fall back on old writing habits out of convenience. By voicing our opinions in an honest and constructive manner on social media platforms such as Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram ect. Square Enix and Nomura will hear us. We need only tell them that not only do we want to see more from Kairi, but that we want her to stand proudly as one of the new Princesses of Heart alongside Elsa, Anna and Rapunzel, a positive embodiment of the new bread of Disney Hero.

[it-refused]

Title: I’ll Be Home for Gyftmas

Rating: G

Happy Gyftmas, @fleeting-phantasm!  Your prompt was:

Let's see... classic Papyrus and Undyne's friendship brings me all sorts of joy. I'll love just about anything featuring them being the coolest of buds. Preferably pacifist happy times. I'm also a huge fan of the gentlemen monsters like Grillby and dapper!Gaster--could be friends, could be shipped, could be only one character or the other. 

I tried to combine these ideas, so this story is about Papyrus and Undyne working together to figure out what Papyrus should get for his dad Gaster for Gyftmas.  They run into him and Grillby out on a date.  I hope this is something like what you were looking for!

Also, thank you to @undertalesecretsanta for putting all this together!

--

Multicolored lights glittered on the town's enormous Gyftmas tree.  Some traditions held on, even with monsters scattered all over the surface.  If there was monster from Snowdin around, when the weather turned cold, a tree would appear overnight in the center of town.

Papyrus tiptoed towards the tree.  His boots crushed loudly in the snow, but he couldn't see anyone around, so the noise didn't matter.  He drew a few boxes out of his inventory and set them in exactly the correct and most aesthetically pleasing spots beneath the boughs.  

That done, he searched for boxes with his own name on it.  "NYEH-HEH," he whispered, whenever he spotted one.  

He registered a distant rumble, almost like an earthquake.  Undyne must be getting close!  Papyrus hurried back to the house to make sure it was still neat.  Sans was home and it had been five minutes since Papyrus had left, so he could not be entirely sure.  

The rumble turned into the familiar sound of an engine.  He hadn't made it to the house yet when he heard his name shouted, with rapidly increasing volume.  

"UNDYNE!" He spun around in the driveway.  

The car screeched off the road and was headed straight towards him.  Papyrus jumped over it.  Breaks squealed behind him and he could smell burning rubber.  Undyne kicked her car door open and rolled out onto the gravel driveway.

"I AM NOT 100% CERTAIN THAT WAS SAFE!"  Papyrus said.  

"I know!  Cool, right?"  She hopped to her feet.  The car rolled to a stop. "You know what ELSE is cool?"

"HMMM...OH!  IT MUST BE ME!  PAPYRUS!"  He took out a pair of sunglasses and put them on.  Perfect!  

"Yeah," she agreed.  "But, also -"  Undyne grinned, wide.  "SNOW WRESTLING!"

"THAT ISN'T - AUGH!"  Undyne plowed into him at full speed.  His face met snow.  "I LOVE YOU TOO, UNDYNE," he said, his voice muffled.

"Gross!" She laughed.  "I missed you too, though.  I guess."

"REALLY?  OF COURSE YOU MISSED THE GREAT PAPYRUS!  EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A NEW JOB TO KEEP YOU BUSY, OF COURSE YOU FOUND YOURSELF TRAGICALLY BEREFT WITHOUT MY CONSTANT PRESENCE."   Tears started to well up in his eye sockets.  He hadn't been worried.  Of course not!  No one could ever forget about him.  

"Yup.  Alphys hates noogies."  Undyne scoffed.  

"I REALLY HATE THEM TOO."

"Let's get inside before I freeze my scales off!"  She yanked him back to his feet.  "And then you can tell me all about...whatever your problem is!"

"OH, WELL. THAT WASN'T...SOMETHING YOU NEEDED TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE TO HELP WITH.  THOUGH OF COURSE I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT!"

She whacked him on his back.  "Of course I did!  Come on!"  She picked him back up off the ground and they went inside.  

Sans was sitting at the kitchen table, eating cereal out of the box.  "hey."

"Look who's up early!"  Undyne said.  "And it's only seven PM!"

"SANS, I DUSTED THE KITCHEN TEN MINUTES AGO, AND NOW THERE ARE CEREAL CRUMBS ON THE TABLE?"

"whoops.  jeez. a guy can tell when he isn't wanted."  Sans wiped away an imaginary tear.  "guess i'll just go."  He stayed where he was and dug further into the box.  "why'd she come over?  it seems kinda...fishy, heh, so close to the holidays."  

"Papyrus is in trouble!"

"IT IS NOT QUITE...THAT DRAMATIC."

Sans stopped chewing.  "man, what's up?  you can tell us."  He offered the box of cereal.

"NO THANK YOU. AND.  I...ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS WITH YOU, SANS.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO GET OUR FATHER FOR GYFTMAS!"

"i gave you a million suggestions, though."

"YOU GAVE ME ONE AND IT WAS A JOKE!  THIS IS HIS FIRST HOLIDAY BACK FROM THE COLD EMPTY VOID, AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE IT IS SPECIAL!  IN THE WAY THAT ONLY THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN!"  Remembering to ask for help when he needed it was how he always managed to stay on top.

"right."  

"What's your weird dad like to do?"  Undyne asked.  

"SPEND TIME WITH ME, PAPYRUS!  AND ALSO SANS.  RIGHT NOW HE IS OUT WITH HIS...DOT DOT DOT...FRIEND.  SO HE ALSO ENJOYS THE COMPANY OF HIS ELLIPSIS FRIEND."  

"also hangs out with his, uh, non italicized pals," Sans said.  "does more of that than talking about stuff he wants to buy.  eh, just get him like...a number one dad hat.  he'll be over the moon."  

"BUT WHAT IF HE AND GRILLBY GET MARRIED AND I SUDDENLY HAVE TWO FATHERS?  I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A RIFT BETWEEN THEM SO EARLY IN THEIR MARRIAGE!  I WILL LOVE THEM BOTH EQUALLY!"

"it's a pickle, i guess."

"A REAL CONUNDRUM!  A PUZZLE BEFITTING EVEN THE GREAT - "  Papyrus broke off as he watched Sans draw a jar of pickles from his hoodie.  He sighed.  "UNDYNE, YOU HAVE ALREADY SUCCESSFULLY FINISHED GYFTMAS SHOPPING, SO I AM DESPERATELY TURNING TO YOU AND AWAY FROM MY BROTHER IN MY HOUR OF NEED!"  

"I don't blame you!"  Undyne said, laughing.  "Let's get the hell out of here."  She accepted a pickle and skewered it on her fangs while Papyrus rushed off to grab his shopping bag, purse, and an enormous folder filled with holiday coupons.  "SHOTGUN!" she yelled when he got back.  "I'm sick of driving!"  

"you guys better hurry up," Sans said.  "gyftmas is barely a month away.  never expected you to be such a lazybones, bro."

Papyrus slammed the door on the way out.  A minute later he peeked back in and said he probably wouldn't be back in time for dinner and that Sans should remember to eat something healthy.

--

In a small, secluded booth in the back of an aging human bar, the air was hot and still. The only sound was Grillby's gentle crackling.  The noise of him had seemed so loud when Gaster first escaped the void, but now it was just background noise, like the rumble of cars driving by outside or the quiet conversations in the other parts of the bar.

Grillby reached across the table and touched the cool white bone of Gaster's hand.  Gaster smiled, uneven, and leaned in closer.  

"........." Grillby asked him if he needed to get home soon.

Gaster shook his head.  He took back his hand so he could sign.  "[But maybe I should.]"

He could tell Grillby was disappointed from the way his flames seemed to die down slightly, even though he had to be at work himself in a few hours.  

"[Who cares if I should?]" he decided.

The early evening was clear, so they decided to take a walk down the main street.  The local human winter holiday was near the same time as Gyftmas and the stores were decorated.  They weren't the only people out window shopping.  Gaster ignored the humans staring at him and Grillby when they went into a men's clothing store.

He'd spent so long away from anything bright or colorful, he found himself charmed by a display of -  honestly - quite ugly Christmas ties.  Grillby looked from him to the ties and just shook his head.  

"[They Suit You.]"  

"......no."

There was one with an entire inside scene on it.  A beautifully decorated Gyftmas tree stood next to a roaring hearth.  Two dogs slept in front of the fire. All on one tie.  Gaster pointed to that one.

".........no."

"[It's You.]"

"...don't insult me."

Gaster cackled.  He would hate to see Grillby actually wear it, but thinking about how he'd react if he opened a box on Gyftmas Day and found the tie on it was putting him in a good mood.  

Grillby was looking at him like he knew exactly what he was thinking, and didn't approve.

A loud gasp behind them startled them.  Grillby's flames leapt up towards the ceiling and Gaster felt himself sink into a coat rack in an automatic impulse to hide.

"WHAT AN AMAZING COINCIDENCE!"  Gaster couldn't see him, but he recognized Papyrus' voice.

Embarrassed, Gaster emerged from his hiding place.  They'd lucked out this time and Grillby hadn't set off the sprinkler system.  

"Kind of ironic actually!"  Undyne was grinning.

"NO I WOULD NOT SAY IT IS IRONIC AT ALL," Papyrus said, giving her a sharp look.

"OH!  Right, yeah.  Just, a standard, every day coincidence."

"ABSOLUTELY MUNDANE!"

"I'm about to fall asleep thinking about how boring a surprise this was, to run into these guys, here, right now!"  

Grillby nodded at Papyrus, then at Undyne, and then sunk back.  Gaster wasn't sure how to convince him that Papyrus didn't have any problem with them dating, and that Sans was just pretending to disapprove to con Grillby out of free burgers.  

"I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED YOU WERE HERE WHEN I CAME IN THE BUILDING AND IT SMELLED SUSPICIOUSLY OF GREASE!"  Papyrus sounded cheerful, but no wonder Grillby didn't believe him.

"We should get the hell out of here and get something to eat," Undyne said. "You're right.  That smell is making me hungry!"  She aimed her toothy smile at Grillby.  "I want to fill a bathtub with the greasy cheese you use on your fries and just SWIM in it!"

Papyrus shuddered. "SUDDENLY MY APPETITE HAS DISAPPEARED ENTIRELY."

"[Still, as your Father, I am telling you to get something to eat.]" Gaster said. "[You are almost SKIN AND BONES.]"

Papyrus sighed. "THIS IS THE LIFE I HAVE TO LIVE NOW, UNDYNE."  

She patted him on the arm.

"I CAN BARELY STOMACH IT!"  He waved over the open spot between his shirt and his ripped holiday daisy dukes.  "NYEH HEH HEH!"  

Gaster cackled along with him.

"Quit messing around!  I need to rip into something before I pass out!  And we have work to do,"  Undyne said.  "C'mon!"  She grabbed Papyrus by the arm and started to pull him away.

Grillby waved goodbye.  Gaster looked at him and shrugged.

"...gyftmas shopping?"  Grillby guessed.

"[Oh.  That makes sense.]"  

Grillby spotted a display of holiday vests with muted colors and designs compared to the ties.  He hurried over, visibly excited.  

Gaster was too caught up in the excitement of browsing menswear to notice the odd rattling noise that followed the two of them as they walked throughout the store.  

--

Undyne pulled Papyrus out of hearing range and then yanked him down onto the floor behind a shoulder-high slacks display.  She knelt next to him.  "This is PERFECT."

"THERE ARE NUMEROUS RESTAURANTS ON MAIN STREET THAT HAVE HEALTHY AND CALCIUM-RICH MEAL CHOICES," Papyrus said, worried.  He didn't know why they were on the floor, but he assumed Undyne had a reason. She always did, even if her reasons were not, well, always good reasons.  Or, to be more diplomatic, they were not always the quality of reason that Papyrus would expect from someone who used to be head of the royal guard.  That didn't mean he wasn't going to go along with whatever she was planning, however.  

"Shhh, shut up, we aren't eating yet," Undyne said.  "And we have to quit talking about it before I really do get hungry!"

"THIS MUST BE VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO BE SO RUDE."

"Sorry!  But, it is!  I hatched a plan while we were talking to your old man - like, a really DEVIOUS and CALCULATING one!  I can't wait to tell Alphys about it - she's always getting into those kinds of characters and slapping posters of their faces on our bedroom wall."

"I SEE!"  Papyrus sat up.  "I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU, UNDYNE!"

"I wasn't going to let my friend down!"  She rubbed her knuckles on the top of his skull.  "See, we're going to follow them - and stay really really quiet - and watch what stuff your dad looks interested in! It's perfect, and it's guaranteed that whatever you get him will be a surprise AND he'll want it!"  

"THAT PLAN IS AMAZING!"  Papyrus said, clasping his gyftmas-tree shaped gloves together.  "IT IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE PLAN I WAS CONSIDERING!  AND THEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HUNGRY, SO I THOUGHT WE WERE NOT GOING TO DO IT!  BUT THEN IT JUST TURNED OUT THAT YOU WERE BEING EXTRA DEVIOUS AND TRICKING EVEN ME INTO THINKING IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE THE PLAN!"  

"Uh, right!" Undyne grinned.  "Step one is convincing them we left!"

"CHECK!"

"Step two is, uh...tracking them down in the store without letting them know we're there!"

"HM...THAT WILL BE OF CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY.  LIKE UNTWISTING NOODLES WITHOUT BREAKING A SINGLE STRAND, WE MUST TAKE GREAT CARE AT EVERY STEP.   EVEN ONE OVERLY-LOUD WORD WILL BETRAY US!  AND OUR MISSION!"

"Yeah!  But we can definitely do it!"

"OF COURSE!  FOR I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!  AND YOU ARE...THE NEARLY AS GREAT FRIEND OF PAPYRUS!"

She leaned down. "Ok."  Undyne spoke in a low whisper.  "Let's quit messing around, and get this over with so we can go out and get some burgers."

"OR SOME - " Papyrus broke off and started again, in a whisper.  "OR SOMETHING HEALTHY AND NOT DISGUSTING."  His whisper was the same volume as his regular way of speaking, but he hissed while he spoke.

"Uh...why don't we practice hand signals!  And not say anything once we've started." Undyne snuck out from behind the slacks display and waved for Papyrus to follow.  

Oh!  A hand signal! Papyrus hurried after her, still partially crouched.  A hamster monster wearing a store badge hovered by the display, uneasily watching them.  

"SHH," Papyrus said.  "YOU DID NOT SEE OR HEAR US."

The monster nodded, slowly.  He started folding pants.

--

Grillby could tell they were being followed.  How could anyone miss it?  He turned and gave his incompetent tail a long look, but they seemed to decide that he was looking over their heads.

Gaster was too intent on deciding between three different hats, and didn't seem to notice.  

"......Gaster."

"[SHHHH.  NOT NOW.]"

Fine.  Grillby was more annoyed at Gaster shushing him than he was at being followed.  He decided to keep it to himself.  

"[I think this one suits you,]" Gaster said.  He took a white panama hat off the display and set it on Grillby's burning head.  

"...I don't like hats."  The irritation faded away, now that he knew Gaster was looking at something for him.  He removed it and set it back.  He wasn't going to burn it, but the people working there were uneasy about him trying things on.  He didn't want to make their day more difficult than it had to be during the holiday season.  

"[A shame.]"

Grillby glanced at Papyrus, who was peering out from inside a circular rack of coats. "...do you like any of them for yourself?"

Gaster shook his head, and then seemed to reconsider.  He tried on a few more.  

Grillby waited until Gaster was staring at himself in the mirror, and then he turned towards Papyrus and pointed at the hat on Gaster's head.  He gave a single stoic nod.  

He thought that pointing out a gift would get Papyrus to leave him and Gaster alone. He gave up on that idea after half an hour.  He caught a glimpse of some paper in Papyrus' hand.  

"[Are you bored?]"  Gaster signed.  "[Usually you enjoy this.]"

"......I feel like we're being watched."  

Gaster gave him as serious a look as his odd features could manage.  He touched Grillby on the arm. "[Do not let the humans get to you.]"

Grillby sighed. "......I won't."

"[But let's continue this when there is no crowd.]"

He nodded.

"[I wonder where my son went to eat?]"  Gaster took out his phone and started to call.

For a second, Grillby heard a ringtone, and then the sound was gone.  Grillby looked up and thought he saw something small flying through the air towards the back of the store.  

"[No answer.]"

"...if they went, they'd be done by now."

"[True.  But he always answers in two rings.]"  Gaster shook his head.  "[Except when his battery dies.]"

"...it's normal to worry, but...I'm sure he is fine."

Gaster gave him a crooked smile and nodded.  

A rack of clothes tipped over and Papyrus burst out of the mess.  "MY APOLOGIES FOR MISSING YOUR CALL, FATHER!  I THINK UNDYNE...DROPPED MY PHONE SOMEPLACE IN THIS STORE!  ...DID YOU SEE IT?"

"[How did you -]"

"I......HEARD YOU TALKING AS I WALKED BY!  THIS STORY SURE IS BELIEVABLE...IS WHAT YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW!"

"I believe it!" Undyne said, popping out of the clothes on the floor.  "Hey, why don't you call his phone again, so we can see if we can track the ring tone!"

"BRILLIANT IDEA, UNDYNE!"  

Gaster shrugged. "[Let us all get something to eat after we find it.]"

"Great!  I could still eat like a thousand burgers," Undyne said.  

Grillby covered his face with his hands.  "...yes.  Let's just...leave."  

"[Grillby is shy around these humans,]" Gaster explained.  

"I WAS NOT AWARE THAT GRILLBY WAS SHY!  IT MUST BE DIFFICULT TO FULFILL SUCH A SOCIAL ROLE, AS A BARTENDER!  GRILLBY, I HAVE NEWFOUND RESPECT FOR YOU AND I AM HAPPY YOU ARE TRYING SO HARD TO OVERCOME YOUR LIMITATIONS."

"...thank you." Grillby was not used to being called "shy."  "...sometimes people are difficult."  That was true, at least.

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"[Grillby thanked you.]"

"IT WAS THE VERY LEAST I COULD DO, BUT I AM AWARE THAT IT WAS STILL A LOT.  SINCE EVERYTHING I DO IS TINGED WITH GREATNESS."

They all went and got burgers over Papyrus' loud objections.  Papyrus ordered a salad and a milkshake and complained about the overpowering grease smell.  

After Undyne polished off her weight in hamburgers and cheese fries, she tossed some money on the table.  "I still have a billion errands to run!  Thanks for the food, though."

Papyrus looked confused.  "I THOUGHT WE WERE--"

Undyne elbowed his head.  

"--AH, YES!  I REMEMBER NOW.  THANK YOU FOR...KNOCKING MY MEMORY LOOSE FOR ME, UNDYNE."  He narrowed his eye sockets.  "AND WE SHOULD...STOP INTERRUPTING YOUR DATE!  THERE ARE MANY STEPS FROM FRIEND TO BOYFRIEND TO BECOMING THE STEP FATHER OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AND I WOULD NOT WANT TO DELAY IT EVEN FOR A MINUTE."

"Oh my god, Papyrus, let's just go!"  

"THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M SUGGESTING!"

Grillby watched them run out of the building.  Through the large pane glass window, he saw them hurry right back into the store they'd just left.  He looked back at Gaster, and noticed he was obliviously fussing with his phone.

"......I'm tired," Grillby said.  He still had a full night of work ahead of him.

"[Let me take you back home.]"

Grillby nodded.  He liked when they walked together, and he could make sure Gaster didn't get too cold.  He kept his arm over Gaster's shoulders.

--

Gaster was singing.

It was more like humming, with a strange high staticy buzz that almost seemed to form words when Undyne concentrated.  He signed along with his humming.

"[OH.  THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL.]"

Grillby was next to him in a neat green sweater.  Someone (Sans) had stuck several bows to his back, and he hadn't noticed.  There was also one stuck to the side of his glasses that he had noticed, but he had left it where it was.  

"[BUT THE FIRE IS SO DELIGHTFUL.]"  

Grillby tinged blue under his glasses.  He playfully pushed Gaster away.  

Papyrus kicked open the kitchen door and burst in, carrying an enormous fruit cake on a silver platter.  "AND SINCE THERE'S NO PLACE TO GO,"  He sang.  

Sans, dozing on the couch next to Undyne, mumbled along with the last line.  "let it snow."

"LET IT SNOW!"

"[LET IT SNOW.]

That was freaking adorable.  Undyne wanted to punch the couch cushions into fluff. Gaster leaned towards Grillby and blinked at him like he was trying to bat his non-existent eyelashes.  Grillby turned even more blue and gave him a very quick smooch.  

"Alphys!"   Undyne turned away from boring Sans towards the love of her life, on her other side.

Alphys was in the middle of chugging a mug full of alcoholic cider.  She coughed and said, "Uh...Undyne!  Y-yes?"

"This place is so FULL of the holiday spirit, it feels like it's going to EXPLODE with it any minute now!  We have to open presents before it's too late!"

Alphys laughed. "It's a real emergency!"  

"I need you to see what I got you!"  Undyne sighed.  Toriel was still in the kitchen with Frisk.

"W-well...how about we give each other...a tiny present beforehand?  To, uh, release some of the pressure?  I can go first."

"WHAT YOU ARE DISCUSSING SOUNDS VERY ILLEGAL," Papyrus commented, but he didn't appear to be particularly bothered.

"Lay it on me!" Undyne said.  She held out her hand, assuming Alphys had whatever small gift it was in her inventory.

"Uh...ok. I'll...just..."  She turned red and took Undyne's hand.  Alphys' glasses fogged up in embarrassment as she gave Undyne's fingers a quick smooch.  

"HEY!" Undyne grinned.  "No fair giving me the best present first!  And I got you the same thing, too, which TOTALLY ruins the surprise!"

They kept each other distracted until it was time to open their other, easier to wrap presents.  

This was Gaster's first Gyftmas since his return, so Undyne wasn't surprised when present opening got slogged down during his turn.  She settled in.

"your turn, bro," Sans said, after Gaster had opened his poorly wrapped gag gift. 

"I WILL RETURN SHORTLY!"  Papyrus fled the room and Undyne jumped up to help.  

He had ten different boxes, and nothing was breakable, but she didn't want him flinging them around the house after she'd helped him pick them out.  They ran back and dumped the whole load of them onto Gaster's lap.  His lap wasn't large enough to hold them, so a couple rolled over to Grillby.

"man, don't sell yourself short," Sans said.  "carrying all those was a tall order."

"YES I SUPPOSE I DID RETURN TALL-Y," Papyrus allowed.  

"[What is all this?]"  Gaster asked.  He opened the first box he put his hands on and took out a soft black turtleneck.  Papyrus had written "NUMBER ONE GASTER" in glittering fabric paint on it, instead of the preferable but risky "NUMBER ONE DAD."  "[Oh.  That is very sweet.  Thank you.]"

The next box had the dapper looking hat they had watched him seriously consider. Papyrus had written "COOL DAD" on this one.  One by one, Gaster removed each of the items of clothing from their wrapping, and held them up to show off the slogans Papyrus had painted on.  Undyne couldn't tell from Gaster's face how he felt about them.  

He finally noticed the card, lost in all the boxes, taped to some now loose wrapping paper.  Gaster opened it up and seemed to read over it a few times before setting it down.  Black globular tears started to pour out of his eye sockets and Grillby shuffled away and held out a handkerchief to him at a safe distance.  "[THANK YOU, SON.]"  He sniffed and blew into the handkerchief.

They passed the card around, but Undyne didn't have to read it.  She'd sat by while Papyrus paced around trying to figure out the correct wording, and she'd giving him her reassurances that he was saying the right thing.

FATHER,

I CANNOT IMAGINE A BETTER PRESENT FOR MYSELF THAN HAVING YOU WITH US FOR GYFTMAS THIS YEAR.  I HOPE ALL THESE GIFTS ARE ENOUGH TO SHOW MY GRATITUDE.

PAPYRUS

Toriel opened her presents next, to give Gaster a little time to settle down, and Grillby shifted back over to sit right next to him.  He said something, quiet, and Gaster rested his head on Grillby's shoulder.

Undyne watched Grillby quietly set a box in Gaster's hand, and Gaster took out his own gift and handed it to Grillby.  Undyne looked away and gave them a moment of privacy to exchange their gifts.  

-

The adults had all had a little too much cider by the time the last gift was opened and properly cooed over.  Undyne crumpled up the wrapping paper into one huge ball and left to slam dunk it into the outside garbage.

Papyrus thought she was taking a little too long.  He found her in the kitchen with a mouth stuffed full of Toriel's famous snail puffs that she too-rapidly swallowed when Papyrus opened the door.  

"Hey!"  she said, voice raspy, tears leaking out the corner of her eye.

"GYFTMAS IS A VERY EMOTIONAL HOLIDAY FOR EVERYONE," Papyrus said.

"Y-yeah!" Undyne said, coughing.  "Man, I don't know what it is with booze, but I want to eat half the food in this house, and right now!"

Papyrus didn't like to hear that anyone was hungry around him, so he let her have some of the chips from one of the bags Sans always seemed to open but was always too lazy to finish.  This way, she wouldn't be eating food that was meant for later.  No one wanted to see Toriel in a bad mood.

"UNDYNE.  I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR COMING BY SO QUICKLY TO HELP ME WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST," Papyrus said.  "I THINK IT MUST HAVE BEEN FATE, BECAUSE I DOUBT ANY OTHER TIME WE WOULD HAVE RUN INTO THEM."

"I mean, they go into that exact store all the time.  That's why you thought you'd find something he liked there."

"YES!  THE TIDES OF FATE WERE IN OUR FAVOR, AND IT WAS WITH YOUR AID THAT I WAS ABLE TO MAKE THIS THE BEST GYFTMAS EVER.  IN QUITE LIKELY THE ENTIRE WORLD.  FOR ANYONE."

"Yeah, it was really great.  Man, Papyrus, you've been a really good friend, you know?"  She crumpled up the chip bag and tossed it.  It landed in the trash can without hitting the sides.  "And now I'm getting emotional!  What the hell!  It's gotta be the booze!  What did she put in this stuff?"

"YOU ARE FEELING EMOTIONAL BECAUSE YOU RIGHTFULLY LOVE ME VERY MUCH," Papyrus said.  "IT'S OKAY!  LET IT ALL OUT!"  He gave her a hug.

She sniffed, just once, and then hugged him back so hard he felt something crack.  "Of course I love you, you gangly nerd!"

"OH NO!  NOW THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY EYE SOCKETS!"

"Like you said!  Let it all out!"

Papyrus cried on her shoulder and loudly blew his nose hole on the wad of paper towels she handed to him.  "I NEVER IMAGINED I WOULD HAVE SO MANY GOOD FRIENDS.  WELL.  I MEAN, I IMAGINED, OF COURSE, BUT...IT IS BETTER THAN I IMAGINED!  AND YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND OF THEM ALL.  THE GREATEST AMONGST THOSE WHO ARE GREAT ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED A LIFELONG COMPANION OF SOMEONE SUCH AS ME."

"Wow, Papyrus." She laughed.  "You sap!  Let's get back to the party before we start to get weird about it."

"YOU'RE THE FETTUCCINE TO MY ALFREDO," Papyrus said.

"Yeah, that's it.  I'll spaghetti your bolognese if we don't get back to the party."  

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.  BUT IT SOUNDS NICE!"

"Well, it sure isn't!"  

There was a half-tipsy cheer when the two of them returned to the crowded living room.  

[angry-pan-ace]

Intense Pedophilia and Grooming Trigger warning

but, I never really see myself as a "victim" of grooming or pedophilia but there's many times like tonight where I remember that I... really was. by many people actually. theI had a friend trying to get me into giantess and feet fetish stuff when I was as young as 14/15. I literally have art of it on here still. I remember them calling me mature for my age. We talked about sexual stuff all the time and even eventually had a sex rp. I even showed nudes and stuff as well to them. I can't remember how old I was but I don't think I was a minor at the time. Now I don't even want to talk to anymore despite him being what I had considered a good friend. I get a weird feeling whenever I think about him. I remember him pushing me to vore either his muse or someone elses and promised me a commission if I did it. OF course I wanted a commission so I did. I remember a lot of pushyness and red flags I just kinda ignored or didn't see when I was younger. another one of his friends was someone I talked to often that also did sexual stuff with me. Wouldn't tell me off or anything and would instigate it. I can barely remember what but I remembered I talked about sexual stuff with him and a particular "Younger people can have fantasies about older people and I"m not gonna stop that" sort of thing. There was another guy in his 30s that actually helped me figure out I was bi by pretending to be a girl and initiating rp with my female muse. That was also around when I was 15 ish and continued way longer than it should have. It stepped up from muses to wanting to have sex rps as just him and I. He made comments about how my parents had the same age gap. We stopped talking many times and he'd come back with some "id rather be friends without sexual rps than not be friends" but ultimately he eventually went away and bitched me out because I kept not wanting to have sex rps with him but would talk about sexual things on my NSFW blog about myself. Not in a sexual way, mind you. Just talking about my experiences. If I remember correctly this was either right before or around the time I was 18. I also had another friend that I was really attached to. Our main ocs were together for years, had kids, and I had known them since around the same age. We did nsfw rps and stuff too despite an age gap. We talked about pretty much everything. Things I don't even think I'll ever bring up again. They talked about incest stuff a lot. Felt the same way that I did in the sense of it being fake and harmless. They did a lot of things that made me uncomfortable but the tipping point was when he kept making offhand scenario/jokes that their ponysona that I shipped my ponysona with was a "Philly fiddler." AKA pedo. Situations with minor canon chars and his char. when I brought it up when I ended up ghosting them, they mentioned It was a phase, and I'll respect that from them because I also had uncomfortable "phases" that I've mentioned,. but it still made me uncomfortable as shit and I should've talked about it when it was happening. He also had a lot of political ideals I disagreed with but obviously that's a bit of a tangent and not an accusation. I remember seeing something relatively recently when I started missing him and checked his blog out, about that kid that was forced to dance for older men, and there was some snarky comment about "But it's okay for Tumblr because it's gay." and like. I don't even want to go into how wrong and homophobic that is but yeah. They said shit like that a lot despite trying to claim to be lgbtq+ positive. Despite all that I've yet to find a friend like them even after nearly 4 years of not talking with them anymore. Someone I trust and confided in everything with and talked with on a nearly daily basis. I miss the interaction still but my social presence get worse and worse on here as time goes by, and I don't think I ever will find someone I'll connect with like that again and it sucks knowing that they'll be it. I also around this time (and longer than I'd like to talk about) I used to be into horrible shit. I remember drawing incest porn of two of my characters. I used to have a noncon fetish and had a few drawings with that I've since deleted. Things that I defended when I was younger for the same reasons I still see today. "It's fiction. Its not reality." "I'm not actually into noncon/incest IRL and hate it, and know the difference between it and fiction." "Fantasizing isn't the same as actually doing it." I'm sure you've heard it all. Not really questioning or wondering why I thought it was acceptable in the form of fiction when I hated it in reality. Not thinking or understanding how this could hurt people, rather they were victims or NOT. All this, it hurts because I know I instigated a fair amount of these things, being painfully cringy and downright bold and even pushy about how horny I was as a developing kid, and because of that feel responsible for it. But, god damn I was just a fucking kid. Going through feelings and physical changes and shit I didn't even understand, and was nothing but taken advantage of by these people. While part of me feels guilt and shame for my actions, the other part of me remembers that these were fucking adult men leagues older than I was (with the exception of one who was only a few years older than me) that should've known better. It feels humiliating even thinking and talking about the things that happened, yet I can't even fucking imagine talking or dealing with a 15 year old like they did with me. It puts a knot in my stomach. and while I have that I also have instances of people the same age acting 100 percent responsibly with me that I still consider my friends to this day. It's just so fucking awful what happened. The internet can have such amazing things on it but also so much fucking trash and garbage. If any other kid my age came up to me and told me what I've said now, I'd hurt me so much. I'd feel so much anger towards the people who hurt them and I'd look at them like fucking scum. Yet I don't with them. Yet I don't even consider myself a victim. And tonight it makes me wonder how many others experienced a similar or even the same thing that feel the same way. Who feel "Lucky" because they were never actually physically assaulted like I feel. Who feel like it was just a part of them growing up as a woman like I did. Or that feel completely differently than I do and actually hurt but have no outlet to talk about it. and I remember my family trying to stop it. My dad was livid when he found out I was talking with adults online. My sister suspected some of the stuff I was doing but I played it off because I was a stupid kid. They could've helped me if I had just let them. If you're a minor that happened to stumble here, don't trust a single adult that's willing to be sexual with you. Or calls you mature. or approaches you with anything sexual. Don't do it. Even if they seem like a decent person, they aren't. It's not different between you and them.. It's not harmless. It may not even seem wrong to you at the time, but I can tell you it's wrong. It's awful. If you're an adult and a minor approaches you sexually. Ignore it. Tell them off. Do not interact with them even if you think they're "Mature" enough. Dont' be fucking gross and misuse your power over them. You should know better period. You have no rhyme or reason to act this way and have no excuse. You know better. and I don't wonder if this is why I have so many problems with my sexuality, or asexuality rather. Sometimes I even wonder if it's why I'm asexual. Every time I tried to express it when I was younger was either in a completely unsafe environment or it failed miserably. I was fat and "ugly" and the weird kid, no one but the town horndog wanted to fuck me and that went fucking horrible. Plus, sex ed is a fucking joke around here. absolutely nothing about boundaries or making sure your partner is comfortable or anything actually useful was covered, things I frankly feel I need more of than the average person. Rather I think I'm a victim or not, Rather I think about these things or not, They've affected me for the rest of my life on how I handle and do certain things.   This shit isn't okay. It never will be okay, and I will never support it no matter how many people wanna call me an """Anti""" or what the fuck ever, and I get sick to my stomach thinking that I know people who do. Not from a "Fandom" standpoint either. It's something I've felt for years before the stupid "Anti" and "Anti-anti" terms came to be. This shit harms kids rather you think it does or not. Fiction impacts. It's important as hell, especially fandom based writings and fictions. If you don't approach these subjects with tact, and end up normalizing it/defending it, it hurts people. It gets so frustrating to see the same people that talk about how much fanfics and fandom artist drawings have impacted their lives, how beautiful they are to them, but also have the audacity to say that "Fiction isn't real, it's not hurting anyone." or "it's just fiction writing don't like it don't read" when talking about harmful shit like Incest, abuse romanticizing, pedophilia, ect.