#growing up with edyn. knowing his parents. getting to be a child. being allowed to have his own interests.

[razberrypuck]

oough thinking about. gillion's first curse nightmare.

imagine waking up in the childhood home you didn't think you still remembered, but it feels different. imagine you're groggy and disoriented and you just dreamt about the best adventure of your life, but when you sit up and rub your eyes it fizzles away into the back of your mind, like all your dreams do. imagine looking around and seeing what is undeniably your room-- but it's smaller than you remember, and your bed is creaky and old, and there isn't a weapon in sight, and the view from your window is that of your father's backyard garden, and you actually own things, and that dream must've really messed with your head if all that is making you so emotional.

imagine you hear your mom's voice. imagine, for the first time in what feels like seventeen years, you hear your mom's voice, calling your name. you nearly trip over yourself when you go to get up, when you stumble out of your bedroom door. and your mind is reeling and you can't quite figure out why, but you can't bring yourself to focus on anything for a moment-- until you lock eyes with your reflection, in the mirror at the end of the hall. and for the briefest of moments, you don't recognize yourself, slim and bright-eyed and without a scar on your body. your hair is long. your coral looks healthier. you feel a bit emptier when no little pink frogtopus swims up to your side. that dream must've really messed with your head.

imagine you finally get yourself down the stairs, and you freeze up. and your parents are setting up the dining table, and gods you didn't know you even remembered what they looked like. your dad is finishing up the food, and he smiles when he notices you at the base of the stairs. your mom says something about making your favorite for dinner, and you don't know why all of this is making you so emotional but you're fighting off tears as best you can (forgetting you're underwater, forgetting they would be unseen). she asks you to grab your sister, and you run back up the stairs, and you're more excited than you think you've ever been, and then...well. you know what happens next.

imagine reliving that over and over and over. imagine no matter what you do, the ending is always the same. sometimes preceeded by the smashing of furniture, or claims that edyn had gone to bed early. sometimes accompanied by the unfamiliar wails of the parents you never had, mourning their daughter. and the one thing your mind can latch onto is the one thing you actively recognize as something that IS yours-- eggs. your favorite.

fucking. gillion tidestrider man.