#guh im sorry for being so stressed all the time

[clippedwingsmuses]

ooc: good morning, no icon bc i am. guh. i am so tired rn, but i had to give yall a psa update about stuff going on with me (since i just got back from my doc appointment)

basic tldr; my activity is most likely going to be even more sparse than it is for a while because i'm focused on my mental and physical health (working on regulating my bipolar disorder primarily), as well as some legal issues that i need to address; what activity i do have may be restricted to my current threads and i might not be making ooc update posts very frequently

full information (and miscellaneous ramble-venting) is under the cut

active muse check: surge, laurance, wanderer, kieran

(cw: mental health, general medical and legal talks, venting)

ooc: so breaking news, apparently it turns out my bipolar disorder might be the more major diagnosis between everything that i got checked out a couple weeks ago, i got prescribed some mood stabilizers so i should be getting them in tomorrow

im having to re-set up my insurance bc they fucked me over and cancelled it (we didn't get any of the documents that they were supposed to be giving us, and my acc on their website can prove we didn't receive them) so that's stressing me out

i also had to get bloodwork done today for whatever reason, going there and doing the bloodwork is what gave us the heads up that my insurance was cancelled so i guess i'm glad for it, but also we can't really afford to pay for the bloodwork rn (and barely if at all); i'm glad that i got it done so i can see if i have any physical issues to worry about, but at the same time that payment is gonna fuck us over for a little, cause we barely get by as it is

im also cramping which sucks!!!!! but that's small beans compared to everything else

i mean today already started off pretty shit for me, i only got about 4 hours of sleep cause my anxiety kept me up most of the night (who was surprised that would happen? not me) since i was stressing about the appointment (they're also still ignoring the potential that i could be neurodivergent, and i know damn well that i am, they just keep blaming my issues on everything else that's wrong with me, so that's stressing me out to a pretty strong degree too)

so yeah, considering all my mental health issues and the doctors visits ive basically been having nonstop for the last couple of weeks, my activity on this account is probably going to be even less than it already is; i've just got too much going on to put all my energy into fixating on writing, and even writing my novel is a chore that i've really had to trudge through the mud to finish (i'm still not even done with it)

i will still be around to write on here ofc, but i might restrict myself into not actively searching for any new rp partners for a while; i'm going to try spending my time relaxing and getting my shit sorted before i fully commit to being here as much as i have been. again, activity will still be here all things considered, but i might not be making very many ooc posts like i have been, and as far as dash shenanigans go i might be pretty quiet

my discord is open to mutuals if anyone wants to chat or discuss plots, and my ims on here will always be open as well

sorry for rambling and bitching so much on here i just like to keep yall informed, but yeah the tldr at the top basically explains all the important details outside of my rambling

[londonspirit]

London, Take 1

Very first London trip in 2024 - one of at least four planned ones (maybe five depending on WHEN they re-home Macbeth.)

And boy, was it a great one. 

Friday noon was leaving time - and I can only recommend that time of day: airports are basically empty, flights are on time and people are less stressed. 

All very uneventful, meeting up C in London and off to the YHA Thameside - pretty far out but was the cheapest so… it’s a good place to stay (whether you still wanna do dorms which im too old now, or a private room; always worth checking if you’re on a budget!) 

Got caught in the rain for a bit but once we’ve dried off, we were off towards Battersea power station for the light installations. 

The weather Gods were merciful, no more rain for the rest of the trip so we could have a nice wander around, having dinner and learning that a fire alarm doesn’t really faze people that much at all - we were finished so we left but there were many that just stayed put O_O (was a FALSE alarm but still...O_O)

Since it got late that was about it for the Friday. 

Saturday morning we had a NT backstage tour planned. GUh, I love them sooo much. I’ve done so many by now and I still love to go behind the scenes of that huge place, and have people tell me all about it. This time we had Chelsea who did an incredible job - and they were so many people that asked just smart questions that we went a bit overtime. 

And we weren’t allowed into the Olivier because the NYE cast was in there, rehearsing!!! 

So we were in the same building as Michael freaking Sheen!!! (We didn’t manage to get tickets for that weekend beforehand - it was sold out as it was very first preview! But we already had planned to do stage door in the evening, just in case!) 

Anyhow, after the tour we were off to Richmond! Finally! I have been trying to get there for a while now. 

Gosh, it’s gorgeous there! And yes, of course my Ted Lasso loving heart was in Heaven to see it all: the pub, the park, the bench (which was sadly occupied), the street!!! *sighs happily* I love to be in places where beloved shows got filmed. 

And the riverside is soo pretty even though it was rather crowded. But then again, the weather was nice enough, even sunny at points. 

After a while we sat down near a muddy field, considering when to go to the theatre. Being the needing to plan woman I am, I checked the site to see how long the play goes. 

And there they were, two beautifully perfect seats next to each other in the middle of the circle. 

I stared at them, stared at my friend and started laughing. 

“Do you wanna go to the theatre tonight?” I asked once I could breathe again. 

“Huh?” she said. 

I showed her the site and she stared at it for like 30 seconds. 

“Can we make it back in time?” she asked wide-eyed. 

“Yes we can. And if we leave now, we even can have dinner before the show.” 

Now SHE started laughing and nodding wildly. 

So I took out my credit card and booked us tickets for NYE’s very first preview in the middle of a muddy field.

We then made our way back to London, had dinner and soon we sat down to watch Michael Sheen being amazing on stage!!! 

There were no obvious issues, the staging was pretty cool and Michael was BRILLIANT despite him being in his pj’s  and barefoot all play long! 

It was a bit weird that the curtain call was soo quick - i'm used to longer ones but with it being 1st preview it’s probably normal. They still got standing ovations so there’s that. 

Stage door was very calm; not too many people (less than I expected tbh), and all very collected. 

What was funny, that there was a person looking at me as if they know me. After a few moments of staring back and forth and them waving at me, I walked over. 

“What name do I call you?” I asked as I had absolutely no clue who they were (IM SORRY IM OLD!) 

“D. From the Rhys gig last year!” 

Only in London!!! *giggles* That was soo very nice to run into them again, we had such a blast at the Rhys gig, but sadly they’d left before I could get their socials! 

We chatted for a moment and then Michael came out! 

*sighs* He’s sooo lovely!!! And so kind. He was rather tired which didn’t stop him from taking pics, writing autographs and chatting with everyone. (He had indeed cold feet, literally; I asked him *hehe*) 

We told him how amazing he was, got our pics and autos, stuck around for a bit (I might have told Anna who waited for him how lovely she looked at the Baftas!) and then he was done, wished us a good night and lead Anna back inside for the party, I guess *lol* 

We were very happy when we made our way back to the hostel (even though the stupid bus didn’t come the 2nd day in a row!) 

For Sunday we only had the Jason and Paul gig in the evening… and a Tower visit I surprised my friend with! She’s never been, but I knew how badly she wanted to see the Crown Jewels so I got tickets for us, got her there under the pretense of meeting a friend and then just walked inside!! HER FACE was fucking priceless!!! 

And DAMN, it’s really worth the price!!! At least for us. Never been INSIDE before, but if you like history and beheadings, this is for you!!! I LOVED the tour, the kids that were in it were amazed and a constant source of amusement to our guide! 

I LOVED the Ravens! Getting this close to them without them being fazed at all, was cool! We spent about 3 hours in there before it was time for food and then heading toward the gig! 

God, I missed live shows!!! Especially Jason and Paul’s - they’re always so much fun!!! 

Still not over the fact that my last one was FIVE years ago; also in London and also around that time of year! 

I had bought VIP tickets just BECAUSE and it was worth the insanity that are these two on a stage just dorking around. 

They played a few songs and then started one somebody had requested during the tour. 

I sat there, confused because I knew it somehow… but it wasn’t one of theirs. 

And then it hit!!! It was a FLIGHT OF THE CONCORDS song!!! One I had just seen/heard a few days ago on my OFMD twitter!!!! 

I couldn’t get it together; my friend thought I’d’ve lost the last bit of my sanity, and I couldn't stop cackling!!! 

It was soo hilarious!!! I mean, Jemaine and Bret did that for a living but Jason and Paul’s faces while trying to get through ‘Business Time’ was sooo worth the money!!!! 

Still not over that!!! 

The general gig was as awesome as always!!! It’s funny tho how the love has shifted: used to be Jason who pulled the fans, nowadays it’s Paul!!! My boy’s come a long way! 

We stuck around after, mainly because I wanted to say HI to Paul. But he’s in HIGH demand. 

Still… when I walked past him and he saw me, his whole face lit up! It’s always nice to be recognized by your ‘stars’. Plus, we ‘know’ each other for more than a decade now so yeah. 

I finally got my hug (and MAN, his hugs are the greatest, especially since there’s so much more shoulders there now *giggles*). 

We chatted a bit, then he left for a bit, came back, I introduced my friend to him, we got our pics and more hugs and another brief chat (which is harder these days, too many people want a piece of him *hehe*) before we said good night and headed back ‘home’! 

Always soo good to see them boys! 

Monday was leaving day for my friend; we had a wander around before it was time for her to leave for the airport, and for me to head towards the Old Vic to catch up with an old friend! It was brief as she’s busy as hell these days, but it was soo good to see her and here’s hope the next meet-up will be a bit longer!  

After that, I was off to see my beloved Victoria Palace Theatre again!!! I’ve sat in basically all seats by now, boxes, royal and grand circle, slip seats but NEVER in the stalls. 

So yeah, 2nd row, smack in the middle!!! ARGH!!! SOO GOOD!!! I love that stage sooo freaking much and seeing it this close was AMAZING!!! Totally new cast but two! I squeed and scared people when I read the cast list in the foyer: Dom was still there: his Washington is sooo good and I was soo happy to see him again!!! 

What made this evening even more wonderful was the adorably excited French man next to me. His very first time and he was sooo hyped! Once it started he had a REALLY hard time to control himself - his joy made my night!!! 

After I sent him around to stage door and after picking up my things joined him; sadly Dom had already left but I played photographer for the french so he got his pics with some of the cast before we said good night - he called meeting me ‘very delightful’ which was 👀!!! Never been called that before!!! 

One last sleep, and I was off home again. Thankfully I’ll be back very soon so saying goodbye wasn’t too hard. 

As always London proved that it’s the most incredibly city in the world - I can’t wait to come back in June!!! 

And this concludes my rather long winded tale of my first London trip in 2024!!!