#haha my descision to answer this tooootally isn't based off of today's events!!!

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

ok hold on so this doesn't really star moth childe in it at all because i was hyperfocused on one (1) really specific idea because i got inspired by a playlist but i wanted to throw it at you anyways and see where reader might meet fl childe (since yk, wow i haven't written that much for most of my essays for SCHOOL lol and now my brain is tired)

you had been best friends as kids. neighbours. your parents were close, so it wasn't as if you had a choice. you'd rather have died than been bored out of your mind, trying not to interact with him. but you quickly found out he was very nice and fun to talk to. in fact, the two of you frequently got scolded for wandering out of the house and getting into trouble. so understandably, when he disappeared one day, you were devastated. where had your friend gone? hadn't the two of you promised to be friends for life? you spent most of those days shut away in your room, beginning and crumpling up many letters that were never quite good enough for your taste. all you wanted was to write a letter that contained your feelings towards the matter, maybe even containing all the words left unsaid that had never left the tip of your tongue. and yet, nothing was good enough.

... maybe you weren't good enough. maybe you were the issue. was that why he had left you? was that why ajax had abandoned you? you'd always had ajax, so there wasn't any need to talk to anyone else. you didn't need another friend when you already had a best friend. you were all alone now. and for the fifth time that day, you broke down into tears. you were tired. tired of the gaping hole in your heart, the lead weight on your chest, and the endless grief. was it something you could have fixed? did you miss it? could you have seen it coming? maybe you could have stopped him.

when you heard of his return three days later, no one could stop you bolting of the house to see him, not even bothering to put shoes on. he was back! would he be happy to see you? did he miss you? where did he go? "ajax!" you yelled, your voice trembling with excitement. "welcome home, i missed you so much, where--"

your best friend was different now. he held himself higher, more confidently. it was clear he had matured much faster than you in only the span of three days. he shrugged your grip off of his arm before you could finish your sentence, and stared at you with a strange look in his eyes, one you had never seen before. and now that you had a good look, he was taller now, wasn't he? "i'm fine. archons, why is everyone so worried? i'm fine. leave me alone, now. i need some time to myself."

you stared at him as he walked away, back to his house, hurt in your eyes. "ajax!-- wait, where are you going? don't leave me here, please, don't leave me here alone again..."

his family could tell how betrayed you felt, his mother even grabbing him by the arm and reprimanding him. "ajax! they're your best friend for crying out loud! did i raise you to be this impudent and rude? did i raise you to have no respect for others' feelings? i know i raised you better than this. you will get back here right now and apologise to y/n, okay? no excuses."

ajax broke free of his mother's grip, glaring at her. "i can do what i want. don't try to stop me."

to everyone's dismay, after the three days of hurt and pain and suffering, you'd had enough. "it's okay. let him go. i... don't think i'll be coming around anymore. thank you for all you have done for me."

the defeat in your tone was enough to stave away the unspoken protests as you walked away. it was clear you had made up your mind. and you kept your word. even when you heard of all the fights he had been getting into, you tried your very best to ignore them and keep to yourself. you didn't care about the rumours that spread anymore. you just wanted everyone to stop talking to you about him. you didn't want to hear about what he was doing, or who he'd gotten into a fight five hours ago. all you wanted was a life without him. he had broken your heart and trust beyond repair, and you wouldn't be giving him another chance to hurt you. even when your parents told you how his father had sent ajax to be conscripted into the fatui, you merely shrugged, and headed back into your room. you told no one how much it hurt to ignore him, to pretend like he didn't matter to you anymore. but you had to. otherwise, how could you ever be truly free from his grip? even when the 5th harbinger of the fatui inducted ajax into the fatui, you ignored the news and continued on your way.

years later, you thought you were finally free from his grip. you had moved overseas to inazuma, where you thought that the isolated nature of the nation would keep you safe. preferring maximum isolation, you lived in a little handmade wooden hut in chinju forest. you had chopped down the cuihua trees yourself, and lived mostly off of the sweet flowers, lavender melons, crabs, berries, mint, seagrass, and sakura blooms. it was a lonely existence, but safe nonetheless. things were going well, even after the sakoku decree was lifted. that is, until the test of courage was announced. some days after the initial announcement, you found yoimiya (good, she was a sweetheart and deserved all the firework sales) and ajax (bad, he hurt you once and you wouldn't allow it again).

playing it nice, you first greeted yoimiya and told her you hoped she was doing well. then you turned to ajax, glaring at him. "what are you doing here?" you hissed, wanting nothing to do with him.

but ajax merely laughed. "haha, what's with the foul attitude, y/n? i was just talking with yoimiya about what inazuman souvenirs i'll bring back for my siblings. i happened to be passing through inazuma while taking care of some... work. i wanted to grab some presents for my younger siblings while i was here, but i couldn't decide on what to buy. teucer once told me that he wanted to hold an onikabuto, so i decided to catch one of those little bugs first. as i was looking for onikabuto in the forest, i saw a child playing all on his own, and he was headed straight for a camp of monsters. so i sotpped the child, dealt with the monsters, and then he led me back to yoimiya. after that... well, i was designated as the "anti-mujina specialist." it's a shame the kids' parents came and took everyone back home, saying that they'd had enough adventures outside," he sighed. "our hunt for the youkai came to an abrupt end. the ship i'll be leaving on will arrive in inazuma will arrive in just a few days. then it will be my turn to head back home."

you tried your hardest not to hide the way your heart leaped at the sound of your name rolling off his tongue again. after all these years, and he still had you wrapped around his finger. hurt or not, you knew he had the power to convince you to do just about anything, given enough time. "i... ...you remember me," you said quietly, swallowing down all the anger hidden inside you.

"why wouldn't i? you left so suddenly that day, i never got a chance to say goodbye to you when i left. that's gotta hurt, being left all alone like that, you know?"

his voice was teasing, but you weren't. "ahem, yoimiya, can... can we have some time alone please?"

the two of you found a place close by and resumed your talk. "i left you alone? ajax, where were you for those three days? you shrugged me off like i meant nothing to you. do you even know how upset i was? how hard it was to pretend like i didn't still care about you, like you didn't still mean something to me? i wasn't aware at the time, but i was in love with you ajax. as much as it hurts to admit it, i still am. even after all these years of escaping from you, you still have me wrapped around your finger, and i hate it."

you turned around to leave, but stopped to say one more thing. "i want nothing to do with you, ajax. leave me alone, please."

but your childhood best friend would have none of that. "wait, y/n."

"what do you want, ajax?" you spat his name out like it was the name of a demon, frustrated.

"you falling for me was inevitable. we were best friends, after all. as for what i want... you. i want you, y/n."

aaaahh everything you send me is a masterpiece, my dear... i've been hoarding this for a while but i think now is the right time to answer it (also this got kiiiinda personal so just bear with me akdjns)

"you want me?" you wrench your hands from his grasp, resolutely ignoring the way he reaches for you. "i don't even know you anymore, Ajax, let alone trust you- i don't trust anyone anymore, because of what you did. because i don't ever want to feel like that again- like my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on by someone i love." you're crying now, wrapping your arms around yourself for stability and staring at the ground, unable to see how Ajax's eyes soften at your distress

"starlight..."

you stubbornly look away, gnawing on your lip to keep the sobs from slipping out. "just go home... Ajax..." your voice trails off as you look up, eyes widening at the monster that's taken his place- towering over you and adorned with night-colored armor, a splash of red taking up his face and twin horns

he approaches and you instinctively back away, heart pounding, and the monster that is Ajax lets out a low whine, laced with sadness. he kneels to your height, even lower to show that he's not a threat, slowly extending his dagger-sharp claws to wipe away the tear streaks on your cheeks. but they're only replaced with more as you begin crying in earnest, standing still to allow this other form of Ajax to gently swipe away the droplets, crooning to you, meltingly soft. he dares not come closer, only clasping your hands delicately in his talons and bringing them to his mouth to plant a careful kiss on them, then leaning against your palms. through your tears you can hear a growling voice quietly whispering, murmuring words into your skin

i'm sorry. please don't cry. i love you