#haku sota x reader

[louscartridge]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ closer

haku shota x gn reader.

angst / comfort.

cw- reader is scared soul is cheating on them, insicurities, mentions of drifing appart, reader and soul saying ‘ily’, established relashionship, both the reader and soul wear cologne bc lets be honest cologne is better anyway, mentions of his real name like once, bpd iyk for the reader.

brought to you by- closer by waterparks and my first real relashionship 😻😹💀

your relationship with soul was amazing. it was everything you could ever want. but yet, you wanted more.

you both loved eachother so much, no matter what. both of you had your difficulties with expressing your feelings, sure, but you tried to show it in other ways. giving or making eachother a piece of jewellery or clothes, borrowing outfits, trading colognes, helping eachother with work. however, you could only go so long before you started to get scared and insecure.

you’ve both said ‘i love you’ to eachother a few times. you don’t say it a lot anymore.

you felt as if the two of you had drifted.

the beginning of your relashionship was everything and more. non-stop texting and calling no matter what, endless ‘i love yous’, and hell, arguing over who loves the other more. but as always, the honeymoon phase always ends eventually.

whenever you would text him ‘i love you’ or anything along those lines, he just replies with a simple emoji or an ‘ilyt’. he was showing something, but it wasn’t the same. you stopped saying it in person, ‘cause honestly? you were scared.  

you felt as if you guys flirted more and were more affectionate when you weren’t even dating. so what happened? so now he finally has you he thinks it doesn’t even matter? did he find someone else? replace you? that didn’t seem like shota at all, but yet again, it doesnt sound like most of the people who had done it to you. you couldn’t bear the embarrassment of him breaking up with you if he was cheating, or lost feelings. should you do it yourself? save the embarrassment and get it over with? but what if he wasn’t cheating on you, didnt lose feelings, then what. you just ruined the best thing you’ve ever had.

you don’t want to break up with him. you can’t. you won’t. but you need more of him. you need him closer. you just need to feel like you have him again.

that’s what led you here.

standing on one side of the dance studio while soul stood in the middle, breathing heavily, a bit sweaty.

you had texted him asking if you could come over to the dance studio, which he had replied to with a ‘yeah’.

you didnt know what you were going to say, but you wanted to say something.

“hi y/n” soul smiled.

“hey” you awkwardly mutter.

souls smile quickly went away while he turned his head slightly to the side. “what’s wrong?”

“i just-” you sigh before continuing. “are you cheating on me?” you ask quietly, voice shaking slightly.

your brain immediately scolded you. ‘holy shit holy shit holy shit. why did you actually just ask him that? what if he is? do you really want to know that? what if he’s not and he gets mad what if-‘

souls eyes widen slighty and eyebrows furrow. “what? no, im not cheating on you y/n”

“do you still love me?” your eyes start to water and he notices.

“oh my god, of course i still love you y/n!” souls hands fly out and he walks closer towards you.

you let out a sob of relief at his words, but you were still doubting. why is everything colder than it used to be?

soul takes your hands in his and pulls you down to sit on the floor with him. “i made you feel like i don’t?” he questions, his own voice small.

“i don’t know i just- no its okay, nevermind, it’s stupid.” you sniff.

“no, nothing is stupid if it makes you feel like this. especially if it has to do with our relationship.”

“i don’t know, why don’t you say you love me anymore? why- why are you so dry with texting? more than you used to be, somehow. i feel like we’ve drifted and i’m losing you or you’re losing me, i don’t know, it could be my fault for all i know. maybe it’s not you who’s being cold, maybe its me-”

soul cut you off. “baby stop. nothing is your fault. i haven’t lost feelings for you. at all. i’m not cheating on you or anything. i feel the same exact way i did when we first started dating. if anything, i love you more.” soul briefly let go of your hands to move behind you and hold you. “i didn’t really say it as much as i used to because i guess i thought you knew that so i didn’t need to say it so much anymore. obviously, i didnt think about that. and as for getting dryer? i didnt even realize i was doing it, i swear i didnt mean to and its not gonna be the only thing i’ll start working on.”

after you didn’t say anything, soul broke the silence by asking you, “why didn’t you say anything to me when you first started feeling like this?”

“i was scared. scared that maybe i was right. but then what?” you answer.

“well if you ever start thinking or feeling anything similar again, tell me. like, right away, don’t wait. okay?”

“okay.”

“i love you so much.”

god, hearing him say that make you so happy.

“i love you too.”

“can we go to your dorms now? i know you were practicing but i really miss you and while we’re in this lovey-dovey mood i wanna take advantage of it.” you know there’s a huge chance he’ll say no, but you ask anyway hopefully.

“for you? of course we can.”

a/n- i kinda wanna post this again, but with a shitty ending??

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