#handles sensitive topics poorly/doesnt have them at all

[antisisyphus]

also like. any issues u have w ya can be levied against publishing writ large

[dyketectivecomics]

It’s been a while and I’m still a little upset about this experience with a certain fan so allow me to rant for a minute here (just a quick discussion about LGBT+ Headcanons and how fandom handles writing them under the cut. “#long post” as always for mobile users to block incase tumblr accidentally doesnt include the cut)

Let’s start this off the with Upsetting thing first to get it out of the way: this fan who i was talking to is cishet. when giving them advice on how to go about writing an LGBT+ character, i referred to them as such, to which they claimed “cishet is a slur”. so let’s get one thing perfectly fucking queer: cishet is not a slur. and if you ARE cishet and you try to come in here and tell my dyke ass that it is, you are getting a block bc i do NOT have the energy to deal with that kind of moronic behavior. (a note tho for anyone who may not be familiar with the term: cishet refers to individuals who identify with the gender as assigned to them at birth, and who have romantic/sexual feelings for the ‘opposite’ gender only. its another way to say non-lgbt with a few less characters involved. nothing more, nothing less. and it, again, is most certainly not a fucking slur.)

The reason LGBT+ headcanons are so important, is because there is such a small pool of representation to pull from. We (LGBT people) all know this. we all live this. And everyone is entitled to their own interpretations and nuanced headcanons and inclusions of such in their fics.

The important thing about those headcanons, and especially with writing and exploring those ideas, however, is when writing for them becomes something that the writer might not have experienced for themselves.

As an non-binary person, I don’t presume to know what, specifically, a trans man or trans woman’s experience is like. I can only pull from my own experience of coming to terms with my identity. If/when I write a story about those experiences, I will be consulting heavily with people from those communities first. I identified as asexual for a time, and don’t any more. I don’t presume to know everything about what the experience of being a/aro-spec is like, because for me, it was really a phase, and thats fine! But that’s not a universal experience for ace people. I will always try to be mindful of that and learn from ace people on how to write ace characters with experiences like theirs.

The key here, when writing these ideas out, is that it absolutely needs to come from a place of respect and understanding. There’s harmful tropes and stereotypes of queer people sprinkled all throughout both popular media and in fanfic. our first step, as writers, is to be mindful of that and to correct that by consulting with actual queer people on how to tell those stories.

I’m not saying you can’t write queer characters. But when a story specifically becomes about a queer experience. There absolutely needs to be a level of understanding and especially, sensitive research into the topic.

And this goes even more for cishet people. Because time and time again, our stories have been handled just so heartbreakingly poorly. If you are a cishet writer including queer characters in your stories in a thoughtful way, I absolutely commend you. If you’re a cishet writer trying to write about the queer experience, however, I want to caution you. Because if you’re not taking our real-life experiences and stories and input seriously, I promise you, we will know. And we will be disheartened, but unsurprised, by it. Disappointed, and unlikely to engage. Because its something we’ve seen over and over again, and we. Are. Tired.

when this fan tried to say that ‘cishet is a slur’ i was reminded of all of my own experiences, as a hispanic nonbinary queer person. Having been called more than a few racially charged slurs and having dealt with homophobic/transphobic remarks aplenty, I will certainly not entertain the idea that being called cishet will come anywhere close to the actual fear I have felt having actual slurs thrown at me in unsafe environments. it is not nearly the same thing. it is all of the difference of merely having your feelings hurt vs fearing for your life because of the threat of violence that comes with using a Certain Word.

if you’ll pardon the pun, the queer experience is a rainbow of experiences. my own is a small part of that rainbow and by no stretch of the imagination does it encompass all of it. but learning from and reading up on others’ experiences helps remind me that I’m not alone in this. and being able to give a voice to my own experiences and to gently approach telling others stories, is what queer story-telling should be all about. but cishet people, please please please listen to us when we tell you of what we do and do not like about your portrayals of us. because it really does make all of the difference.