#hate the idea of meds irt side effects i need to break the adhd->bad sleep->worse anxiety/ocd/adhd->everything including bedtime routine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fifteensjukebox · 3 months ago

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i know im just having A Day but a conversation just ended w me feeling like i overstayed my welcome which made me feel like i simply shouldn't have bothered but i was asked to contribute !!

it's like. this was a spoken conversation but it's comparable to when u send one more text that's not actually adding anything to keep the conversation going and the person understandably doesn't reply

except my response felt necessary to me i can't just leave the conversation where it was left when the last thing said to me clarified something why shouldn't i have the opportunity to say "yeah i was going based on this incorrect information"

admittedly i am talking to one of the busiest people in existence at the moment (engineering student with midterms and a music career) but why does every conversation we have feel like this at the end

#ok rant over #(adding this at the end: me when i lie)#i just wonder between this and the rest of my day if maybe the ssri was helping after all?#(in december jan + half of feb). the side effects once i increased my dose (mid jan-mid feb) were Bad and i didn't have any increase in #benefits but maybe the miniscule benefits i noticed in december/early jan were worth something... but i was having (milder) side effects #then too!! including even more fucked sleep!! and i know very well how my sleep affects me mentally #......... it's possible that im in a bad place sleep wise rn... i went to bed 2h earlier the last 3? nights but really the prior 9ish days #of later bedtimes were outliers ! the 2-3am bedtimes are the same thing i was doing before but that's not the point #my point was that getting used to this earlier time is probably fucking me up rn and causing me to feel like this #so what i need to do is at the very least find a time and stick with it even if it's this but what i really should do is get it together and #stick to to an earlier time...all i really need to do tn is get upstairs to shower etc in less than 2h20 from now (should be very achievable #but the invisible wall (executive dysfunction) loves me esp at this part of the day... still i simply must power through !! given that i #hate the idea of meds irt side effects i need to break the adhd->bad sleep->worse anxiety/ocd/adhd->everything including bedtime routine #takes longer due to adhd and overcleaning #did i say break the cycle of adhd->... that's what i meant #anw #enough of this im going to watch ig stories then Go Upstairs!!#shocked i didn't run out of tags on this one #if anyone somehow read this far and is considering giving advice i am in fact open to advice please do #vie

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