#hatredislandchapter2

[cc-hatredisland]

Exploration.  {.Gym.}

If I didn’t keep moving, keep checking out new areas I’d probably end up just sitting around somewhere, too tired to do anything. I guess that was one pro to having Chiffon here - there was no way she was letting me stay in any one place for too long. Once she’d gotten bored of staring at the water, she made her way back into the corridor. The next place to visit seemed obvious - the gym next door.

It was a huge room with bright wooden floorboards. There was no way it was soundproofed either - every sound echoed and bounced against the walls - hard. There were two floors, one led to a bunch of stands and the other was just a kinda ground floor. All kinds of tools could be found around the place to the point I figure most any sport could be played here. There’s also some door I’m guessing that leads to some storeroom. God knows how much more they got in there, too.

“Hmm. It’s a sweat factory.”

“A gym.”

“Hmhm. I’m probably not a SHSL Jock Monkey.”

Looking at her build, I was inclined to agree. She seemed pretty dainty - couldn’t see much muscle definition on her anywhere. If she practiced any sport, I’d guess it’d be something with a lil more technique. Table tennis or something like that. Though that did bring up a question.

“Wait... so you remember the SHSL program?”

“Of course!“

“Well. Not really. Actually Pinky told me about it. You know, Sakuramochi. Boom-boom.“

“Yuunagi.”

“Yeah. Yuunabe. She said all of you had talents... and this place was a free school for the talented, right? If that’s true, I must have one, too. That’s just common sense!”

Sometimes the way she said things made me want to disagree with her, but, well, it really did sound logical enough.

“I bet it’ll be so amazing! When it comes out, don’t get too jealous, okay?”

“I’ll do my very best.“

“Kaede! Chiffon!”

A familiar voice cuts through our mindless bickering and as soon as he has our attention, he waves us over.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you two together. Exploring the new area, huh?“

“Yeah... ain’t it something... me neither.“

"Orange is my chauffeur! I was curious so I dragged him along to go sight-seeing.”

“Who’s whose chauffeur, huh? I don’t even drive, dumbass.”

“Hahaha. I feel like I’m watching a skit.”

I’m glad someone’s finding this amusing.

“The gym’s pretty big. You should check it out for yourself. We could get everyone in here and still have a ton of space. I’m... honestly a little impressed.“

“Well, the Hanjis were well-prepared if nothing else, I guess.”

Even saying that name brings this weird hushed silence. I don’t think the name’s become... taboo or anything like that but... it’s hard to remove it from certain conotations right now. What happened is still pretty fresh in our heads. Even if his parents, whoever and wherever they are had nothing to do with it... what Tadashi himself did remains.

“... In any case... there’s a lot to see. At least if we want to stay in shape or try some recreation we have the tools on hand.“

“A distraction... wouldn’t that be nice.”

I didn’t have it in me to even phrase it as a question.

“... Cheer up, Kaede. You know, I heard a rumour that... well, it’s a surprise but I think Tsukumo-san himself is planning something in the Break Room. When you get a chance, you should look into it. Maki-chan’s helping.“

I couldn’t help but perk up at that. Guess all that doubt was showing on my face.

“I’ll pay ‘em a visit after I finish checking around here. Hey, your majesty, what’s first on your agenda?“

And that’s when I realized I was speaking to air. Chiffon had gone off to the storeroom and was clanking away in there, happy as a clam. Manabu offered me a pat on the shoulder in sympathy.

“... Well, she’s exbuberant. I suppose it’s fine if she wanders every now and again. This situation must be odd for her, too. She just woke up here alone with no memories... and to see all these strangers who probably don’t trust her. It’s tough.“

“... Yeah. I can get that.”

“While you’re here, maybe you can say hi to Ogawa-chan, too. She was here before I was but, well. Our conversation didn’t go very far.”

“I can imagine.”

Ogawa had never really been social but I can only imagine the whole trial fiasco had made her even more skittish. Well, since I’m here, I might as well check things out. Maybe I’ll talk a little more to Mana or pay Ogawa a visit, too.

* Talk to Manabu Chiyoda

* Talk to Kurumi Ogawa

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[cc-hatredisland]

Exploration.  {.Swimming Pool.}

The swimming pool’s door is cold to the touch and somehow you can just feel the watery atmosphere before you even enter. You just know. Well, it’s that and the stench of chlorine that seeps through the door. The cold metal makes my fingers tingle for a second.

The door opens easier than I thought it would and reveals a really large room. Obviously the main attraction is the pool itself but there’s a kinda majesty to whole thing, just how big it is. There’s a diving board, chair for lifeguards and some other seats about here and there. I see one familiar face beat me here.

It’d be hard to miss her and I guess, all things considered, it makes sense she’d been in a place like this. Close to the sea and all that.

"... Geez... that girl...”

Rie sighs, staring hard at her own reflection. I kinda contemplated leaving her be but Chiffon’s loud voice put that thought to bed almost immediately.

“Oh. This place reeks.”

The sailor tilts her head our way now that she’s been alerted to our presence. There’d been this... gentleness or distance on her face earlier but now she just seemed unimpressed. Or... like her usual self, I guess. Nobody wanted to appear too weak at a time like this. I know that was true for me.

“Well ain’t this a curious duo. The hell are you doin’ hanging out with the pipsqueak?“

“Someone oughta keep an eye on her.“

“You’re babysittin’ now?”

My eyes wander to Chiffon and she’s... ah, she’s gone. She’s off having a looking at the pool supplies. So that chick’s not even listening, huh. I don’t even have the energy to be surprised.

“Sure feels that way.”

I thought she’d be amused by that but there’s no trace of a smile on her face; not even a smirk. Instead, she folds her arms and glares daggers at the girl. Not that the other party notices.

“I don’t like it. Expecting me to swallow some chick's just randomly here and oh, she doesn’t remember anything... come on, that stinks and you know it.”

“Sounds bad, sure, but our story’s pretty similar. It’s a rough pill but it checks out, you know?“

She shakes her head.

“That note said ‘16′, right? Her being here makes 17. Doesn’t check out. And she’s annoying to boot. I know that info comes from that lying, murdering son-of-a...“

Rie cracks her neck and knuckles in an effort to collect herself.

“You know, that motherff... Hanji. Since he was talking his head off about how much he schemed this all I don’t think he’d make such a stupid typo. Which means, he either didn’t plan for her or she’s his secret weapon.”

Secret weapon, huh...?

“... She’s so dumb, though.”

Rie seems to consider that and snorts.

“Yeah. I noticed that, too. I dunno man, just don’t like it.“

If someone doesn’t like something, they don’t like it. There’s no way you’re going to force someone to think otherwise. You’re definitely not gonna do it arguing. Honestly, wasn’t even sure of my own feelings about her yet. Her whole existence was a question mark... but whether I believed her or not, I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure I trusted anyone here even though, despite my intentions, I was warming to some of them. Yuunagi and Manabu came to mind especially there.

“Oh! Oh! Satsuma!“

“I think she’s calling you, ‘Satsuma’.“

I sighed.

“Duty calls.”

“Godspeed.

Walking over to Chiffon allowed me to realize, at the very least, it wasn’t just Rie - Seiyama was here too, trotting along the pool’s edge. I just hadn’t noticed him until now. But I had no time to strike up a conversation - the second I approached the girl, she grabbed my sleeve and dragged me to a door.

“You forgot my name already? C’mon...”

“Never mind that! Look at this! Are you looking?”

“It’s a door.”

“Yes! I peeked inside and saw cleaning supplies. Isn’t that grand? At the very least, we can keep this place very clean.“

Hey, why is that your priority?

“A~nd! There are locker rooms! Right past that door on the other side. They’ve got towels, suits, goggles... lots of stuff! And a section for girls, boys and people who don’t feel like either, too! Well? Impressed? I took time out of my busy schedule to scout the area out. To then SHARE that information without even being asked... aren’t you overwhelmed by my altruism?”

“... Thanks for opening two doors.“

I meant it sarcastically but she seemed to take pride in it anyway.

“Hm! You’re very welcome.”

“... But... wait. So you went into the locker rooms? And you can, what, go wherever you want? There’s no ID slots or like, special doors?”

“I just read the signs. But there’s nothing stopping you from going anywhere you want. Ah, but... that doesn’t mean you should go into the wrong section intentionally! I won’t be an accomplice to such deviancy!“

I reached for her face and gave her stretchy cheek another pull for being irritating before I’d even realized it. Like that had ever even crossed my mind.

“Ow! Owww! Stobbit! What’re you gonna do if you tear my face, huh?! I’ll... I’d sue you!”

“Here’s some advice for you: think before you say dumbass crap.“

Chiffon hissed at me before skipping off to do something else. I felt it in my bones; if I talked with her again so soon I’d just get mad again so I looked towards Rie and Seiyama. Maybe since I’m here I oughta talk to them.

* Talk to Rie Utsumi

* Talk to You Seiyama

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[cc-hatredisland]

{.Healing Takes Time.}

First was the hand on my arm. Second was something vaguely on my back. At least, I thought it was, I turned around, too tired to be fierce about it and thanked my lucky stars I hadn’t been. Looking a little pale and somehow smaller than usual, Buki stood in front of me, with a quilt over her shoulders, her hat missing. It somehow seemed surreal to see her without it.

I took the opportunity to check my back and sure enough, she’d... huh. Some things never changed, huh? I took the charm off and I stared hard at it before I met her eyes.

“I'm still not ghost-free, huh?“

“Not ghosts, Shimizu-dono, but an ominous presence nonetheless. You are very clearly possessed by something. I cannot fathom what made you extend a hand to me, a cursed being. A moment of madness? It is a strange affair. Besides...“

“I fear that your kindness will lead to misfortune. Particularly if you tangle with me. I must ask you take care and keep a good distance.“

To be honest, I was surprised she was out and about. I got the impression Kumatani was the type to fret over someone more and she didn’t look a 100% to me.

“You should go back and rest. You look like shit.”

“W-why I never! I am as upright as a daisy! You would gainsay this?”

I still need a thesaurus when speaking to her. Even when she’s not feeling well. Ahh, my head hurts.

“How come Kumatani let you come out?”

Speaking about him like that made him kinda seem like a mom. I didn’t realize that until the words left my mouth. Buki wrung her hands together as she considered her answer.

“... True. He also bestowed upon me terrible kindness. Such eyes burned right into my flesh! Because it has been me and Panayomogi-sama for so long... I felt threatened! But even if he forgets his manners, I do not. I owe you a debt and this gnawed at me. So, I made a plea to Kumatani-dono. A brief trip is all. He could count the minutes, should he like! But, to Shimizu-dono, I had to go.“

“... You didn’t have to, I mean. I’m not going anywhere.”

I hope I’m not, anyway.

“Perhaps not. But what if the world ended tomorrow? What if, by chance, I said your first name and allowed Panayomogi-sama access into your soul? You would perish! And the chance would pass. Dramatic, I know, but this is why I had to rush to your side.“

So, wait... if she uses my first name I’ll be cursed too? Is that part of the Panayomogi mythos or something? I still don’t get everything about Buki or her weird dark god but... I guess at least certain pieces are coming together? In any case, I should try and bear in mind what I can for the future.

“Well. I’m here. I’m hoping that doesn’t change.“

“I also...”

The words tumbled out of her mouth quickly before she put an end to them with a shake of her head.

“Three souls lost is already too many... but while we remain on this dark ground... I fear for the future. Furthermore, I have brought Panayomogi-sama here. That was careless of me...“

“You say that, but you must’ve lived with people you cared about before. I mean... you can’t just act like this is your fault. You didn’t tell people to kill each other, right?“

“No! No, no, I wouldn’t! Perish the thought!“

“Then it’s fine, right? Trust me, you didn’t make this happen or anything.“

She stands there, silent for a few seconds before whipping out another charm and sticking it directly on my face. I really should begin to see this coming. How many of those does she have, anyway...?

“You truly are very cursed, Shimizu-dono. I implore you to keep that to yourself! You stay for my ceremony and hear me out... you do not turn your head away when I am weak and disgusting... and now this? To ignore Panayomogi-sama but pay me mind... it’s dangerous! It’s a buffoon’s gambit.“

Was I really being that kind to her? I kinda thought my actions were pretty normal. But maybe normal things felt special to people who hadn’t ever had them.

“I’m not cursed, I’m normal. And I’m not afraid of some curse, hell, I have enough things to be worried about without a dark god entering the picture.“

“Which is why! You need to watch your sweet talking!”

“... I’m sorry, sweet talking?”

“You know what it is! I won’t hear it! If I am not careful, I will cost you your life. If you value that, keep your distance. And... and I, too, will try to meditate to calm myself.”

Why was she so sure she’d be responsible for hurting me? Like Mikiro and what he’d said, I had to assume something big had happened to her.

“Look, I know you’re afraid. But getting along just makes sense. If we work together, we’ll get out of this easier.”

“I do not know whether... you can trust me or not. Can you say for sure I’d speed up your plans of escape? There is a very good chance I would hinder them.”

“Because you’re cursed. Right?”

She gives me a slow nod.

“I don’t expect you to take my word for it. So it’s enough if you keep your distance.”

That didn’t strike me as right. Buki hadn’t really done anything wrong yet. Rather than judge people on what I heard, I’d always just judged them on what I saw. And yeah, she was kinda out there but she wasn’t a bad person. No one to avoid, anyway. And if I was tolerating people like Shiratori, there was no reason not to tolerate her, too. Everything about her came from some really dark unknown place. Like... everything about her would just make sense if I knew a little more about her.

“When you collapsed... Kumatani said you were under a lot of stress. At the time I figured he was just being Captain Obvious but... he said, even before all this shit happened, you were under pressure. That’s why your body rejected the food. So is it really okay for you to be out here? I don’t know much about it but... you should probably rest up.“

“...“

She searched her person for something until she found... oh come on, is that another charm? I took on a defensive stance but she didn’t seem to have any intention of hitting me with it.

“Open your hands, Shimizu-dono.”

I kinda felt like I was being pranked but it also kinda felt like a jerk move to just leave a sick girl hanging like that so I did as she requested. She put the charm gently in my hands and then pressed her hands together, as if in prayer.

“That’s a protection charm. Panayomogi-sama targets those close to me. He is able to infect people with his darkness should I allow him to. If I break my rules. Those people will be driven mad by misfortune. I cannot... protect people from him when he like that. But I can do this much. Your ‘worry’ I believe is routine behaviour... so I understand this is the right thing to do. Normally people give up, though. I worry you will not. This ‘stress’, as you name it, is... mine to bear. And it would not change, whether this happened or not. So put it out of your mind. Worry not, I will recover and... for your discretion, I am grateful.“

She bows her head and then trots back indoors. Her steps seem a little shaky at times but she seems to be fine enough. I looked at the charm she’d given me and decide to pocket it. I’d thrown all the others away, I mean, they were slapped onto me and I was annoyed. But this one felt like more of a gift.

At this time the sun was going down and the whole outside coated in a kinda orange glow. I sat down and took in the sun for a bit.

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

Arts Room.  {.Chika: Talk.}

I’d already chatted a bit to Nagase but I wanted to keep that up and see where it’d take me. I mean, she wanted to get used to me too, right? So I suppose this selfishness of mine kinda helped us both. I dunno; maybe I was just justifying it. I tried my best to have a gentle approach but, uh.

“Yo, Nagase.”

No dice.

She stepped back, a little flustered but offered me a small wave anyway. I could tell she really was making an effort. Looked like even small things like looking at someone and greeting them was hard for her.

This situation must’ve been murder for her even before the uh...

Well, the murder.

“Oh, erm... hi again, Shimizu-san. Was there something else... or... something on my face... or?“

“No, no, just... felt our conversation kinda cut short.”

“Oh! Oh, did it? When do conversations, um, when do they usually end? ... I’m not sure.”

“I’m... not sure either. But hey, if you’re busy...”

“No, no, it’s fine. Let’s do it! Talking, that is.”

...

Now that I’d said that, I had nothing to say.

“So... you and Yuunagi -- you’re good friends. Seems it, anyway.“

“Well... I admire her. And, um, she’s good to me. Yuu-chan can take charge in a way that I can’t and er, well... she can act when I can’t, too. It’s like, she says the things I want to before I can. And the way she says it, too...”

“You’re a writer though, right? I’m sure you can say stuff in cool ways, too.“

I felt that was a wrong thing to say and two seconds after my stupid mouth spat it out, I recalled the whole ‘stole book ideas’ thing and kicked myself. I clenched my eyes in some kinda dismay.

“... I guess... but... it never really turns out that in real life. Even when I want to, I just... can’t.“

“Can’t what?“

Whoa, when did you pop up? Last time I’d see Chiffon she’d been running her nose through those how-to books.

“Oh! Um, you know. It’s nothing.“

“Hmm. You’re giving up.“

“Hey!”

“Well, I’m not wrong, am I? Someone who says they can’t means they won’t. I’m not going to stop someone from kneecapping themself.”

Nagase laughs weakly. She seems to shake off the comment better than I’d expected but can’t quite smile the full way.

“I... you know... I think... telling someone who’s tried their hardest to just try is... it’s cruel.“

“So? If you’re not rooting for yourself, who will? I mean, it’s not like you’ll get anywhere making excuses. All you’re doing is making yourself feel better in advance when nothing happens.”

“... Maybe... that’s so... but, that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up. I admire Yuu-chan, and I admire the others, too. It’ll probably take me a little longer, but, um, I thnk I’ll... I’ll arrive at the place I wanna be. So... so you’re, um, wrong about that. And about me.”

I sighed with some relief. Despite what others might say, or hell, despite how she seems, I get the feeling Nagase’s tougher than she looks. Chiffon continues to look on with some... disinterest? No, I guess she’s just looking at her in that usual high-and-mighty way.

I take the opportunity to yank on her ponytail. There was something missing from this conversation, after all.

“Hey! That hurts!”

“It barely hurts; trust me, I know my strength. Apologize.”

“Huh? For what?!”

“S-Shimizu-san, you really don’t need to...!”

“Apologize, you public nuisance.“

“Did you bleach your brain when you dyed your hair?”

“It’s fine, really! W-we shouldn’t fight!”

I rest my arm on Chiffon’s head and lean, ignoring her yelps.

“You’re getting it all wrong, Nagase. Fighting’s good - I mean, a little anyway. Keeping this stuff pent up’s gonna make it explode later. I mean, you get angry all the time during a day, right? If your coffee’s gone cold or you drop something. Treating this situation with soft gloves might just make it worse. Hell, the more normal we try and make this, the better off we might be. So it’s okay to say you’ve had enough or you’re tired.“

Not that I really considered it a fight. Chiffon was a tiny annoying little weasel with no manners and even when she got offended I felt more like that was par for the course than any big blow out.

To my surprise, Nagase seemed taken aback and then genuinely a little happy for a second there.

“Th... that’s... those are pretty cool words, Shimizu-san! Hmm... that’s kinda... you’re not wrong, are you...? When I write, there’s always a tense atmosphere. Everyone’s always accusing everybody... because, everybody’s always got something to hide... so of course it all goes out of control. I mean, it’s more exciting that way.“

Those words make her think a little more but I can’t tell if she’s depressed about something or if she’s just thinking super hard.

“Somehow... you remind me of someone. But I can’t think of who... it’s... the strangest feeling. Deja vu? Hmm. Ugh... I hate deja vu... it sounds like such a trope...”

“Haha, well... who knows? I know you don’t meet a lot of people but it could’ve been anyone.“

“I guess... “

The strange look of concern doesn’t leave her face.

“But, you know... it would be nice, wouldn’t it? To just be honest. I’m sure that’s what Shiratori-san wants, too. It’s nice, but...“

“Hey, no, that’s not what I said. I said normal, y’know, normal. Do you usually go around telling strangers your phone number and biggest phobia? Look, I... I’m not an expert. So don’t look at me like one. But, it’s... fine to have stuff to hide. I mean, everyone’s got their baggage. And their reasons. But it should also be fine to just... accept that and work together anyway. You said so before, right? There are more important things out there than your secret.”

Nagase moved to nod her head but stopped, surprisingly, looking me dead in the eye.

“... You really... don’t think less of me? Despite that...?“

“I don’t. I’m not much of a book person but... doesn’t it still take talent to write the thing? It’s not like you took 5,000 of someone else’s written pages and sent them out under your name, right? Besides. Apparently we had a wrangler killing people. And a lawyer. So god knows what anyone’s up to. Yeah, you know, at this rate, as long as you haven’t killed anyone, we’re good. Have you killed anyone?”

“I haven’t! I haven’t! I swear on my hamster!”

“Then we’re good.”

“Well I’m not good! Get off of me!”

I glanced down at Chiffon.

“You gonna apologize?”

“I’m sorry you’re such a loser! Happy now?”

I look to Nagase.

“What do you reckon, Nagase?”

“Hmm. W-well I’ll let bygones be bygones! I mean. Well... I’m sure it’s erm, it’s hard for her, too. The whole... this whole mansion thing.“

Nagase was probably too nice but that was obvious. I let Chiffon go and she immediately pulls a face at me and dashes for the door.

“Loser! I got to the door before you! Stupid! Stupid, stuuupid ramen!”

“You’re literally just throwing out foods now.”

I shake my head. Well. I’m not sure I got to know Nagase better or if we even talked about anything relevant but I had to think these small steps were important. Still, I didn’t want Chiffon trouncing off in a mood so I opted to follow her, giving one last wave to Nagase who honestly did seem to be in some higher spirits. That was good.

[Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

Exploration. {Arts Room}

Vague fragments of Mikiro’s song bounce around in my head. Maybe it’s because I’d never listened to anything he’d written before. Like no other song had, actually. Super High School Level students probably had some magnetic quality to the stuff they did. I guess thinking about it that way, it’s easy to see why it was so memorable.

Since the Arts Room was so close, it took no time at all to find the door and let myself in. Chiffon was quick to follow, so caught up in following my pace that she wasn’t able to babble as much as she usually did.

The second I opened the door, the various smells of paints and supplies hit me all at once. I couldn’t help but cough. Probably wasn’t even that strong in there; I was just unused to it. There were a variety of easels and canvases in the way; the room was pretty small and because it was so crowded, I ended up having to push things aside to get around.

I actually couldn’t see Nagase until I cleared the path a little. Well, it didn’t help that she was sitting on the floor for whatever reason.

After what I’d witnessed earlier I wasn’t actually sure how to approach her. Nagase was pretty anxious without the added stress and I wasn’t the most sensitive person in the world. But I wanted to try and say something before Chiffon did; she was still behind me, tripping over this or that. So I guess I had time on my side, at least.

“Uhm... Nagase. Hey.”

I cringed at how false I sounded.

As I predicted, Nagase basically jumped out of her skin. It felt weird; I was on eggshells every time I talked to her but I still ended up messing it up somehow. Maybe I oughta read a book on it or something.

Her eyes kept going all over the place, as if she was looking for something or someone.

“Uh... uhm... er... y-you... are weather. Yes! Hello! It’s... a nice one!“

Oh, ouch. The awkward’s making it hard to breathe over here.

“Look, I’ll be real. If I’m bothering you, it’s okay to just say so, y’know? If you don’t make it clear, I won’t know. And this is... a weird place for all us to be. I get that.”

“No! No, no, no, no! Oh, um! Oh gosh, how to say...!”

The way she spoke so loudly all of a sudden had me reeling but it seemed like she wasn’t bothered. Considering all the death and the whole Shiratori thing I thought she’d be in tears. She twiddled her thumbs for a bit before continuing on.

“I want... to... I want to... um... I-I’d like to try and do better. I’m... I’ve... said... and acted things... I’m not proud of. And I think... I’m thinking, if I wallow, that’s um, that’s going to... it’ll hurt us all. If I really make an effort to get along... and be normal, then...!“

“I’m gonna stop you there. Listen, forcin’ yourself’s only gonna stress you out, right? Nobody wants you getting an ulcer over acting out of character.”

“N-no, but... but listen. Yuu-chan told me something... and I felt it click in my head somehow. Yuu-chan said, ‘talking to this many people is a miracle’. She said that... maybe ‘we knew each other’ before this. And... considering what Hanji-san... said...”

She paled at the mere mention of him. Given what he did... what he’d said... and how he died... I could hardly blame her. She shook her head, desperate to get back on track.

“I want to believe we were friends. So, although I’m like this, please give me your patience. I, um... I wanted to also... thank you... on another note... ‘cause you... helped a lot. In the... you know.“

In the trial, I’d guess.

“You did, too. Without you, I’d have probably been lost. I didn’t have much evidence directly tying it to him.“

“We can’t... let that happen again.“

“Murder... in fiction is one thing. B-but it’s... it shouldn’t be like that in real life. And dying like that, there’s... there’s absolutely no ‘justice’ in that.”

There were a lot of reasons to hope it never happened again. It was wrong on every level. Yesterday’d been so wild I was almost tempted to write it off as a dream... but I knew how dangerous that’d be. And on a maybe less relevant note... I didn’t want to risk messing something that important up again. That ‘trial’...

Even I know it didn’t go so well. You’re supposed to work it out so easily - they do it on TV like that. But it ended up so messily and... I kept thinking about it. How unfinished the whole thing felt.

The easy thing to hope is that it’d just never happen again. But an awful gut feeling kept me wary.

“Nobody wants to die and nobody wants to get killed. Should be obvious. I’m hoping people take what they saw to heart and gets smart about it. Everyone wants to get out but we’re better off working on our own terms; not his.“

“... Oh... it’s a he?”

I shrug.

“It’s a whatever. Who cares?“

She seems to warm up and a little and laugh.

“I get that you’re doing your brand new you thing but... are you really gonna be okay? I mean, I’m not the softest guy around, sure, but there’s more than me to worry about. Rie, n’ Kasahara n’... Shiratori.“

Her face falls on the mention of the lats name on my list.

“You... overheard.”

“Wha-? No, I just...”

This wasn’t working.

“... Yeah. Sorry.”

“I think... Shiratori-san... needs to, um... it’s like, he needs to think things over for a bit. I... I’m hurt, of course, it’s still... but. But, him being like that, um, it’s not just trouble for me. It hurts everyone when he acts like that. Controlling things with your moral compass... how can I put this? It’s... it’s arrogant. To think that your right and wrong are the rights and wrongs of the world. And enforcing that without asking, it’s... well... if you ask me, of course it’ll end up badly.“

Yuunagi had a similar way of thinking. I mean, I guess I did too but I thought about it more basically than that. I just kinda thought he was an ass.

“So, uh... you’re gonna be okay, then?“

“T-that’s... that’s a little hard. I’ll probably cry a little and I’ll... always worry what people think but... I’m gonna try and fix that. I want to believe our survival here is a little more important than, er... something like that... in the past. You know? I mean! Not that it’s not valid! I mean, if it weren’t me, I mean, if I weren’t me, I might be like... hmm, but like... you know... the timing... i-it’s hard to say. I don’t know, I just hope it’ll go well.”

I guess that’s enough for now. Hope is all a lot of us have to go on right now. At least, until something switches it up. It feels like we’ve been talking for a good few minutes now and the refreshing silence was now beginning to gnaw at me. Alright. Where was she?

I turned around to look for her and... to my surprise, I had completely lost track of Chiffon. Uh. Oops?

Turns out she’d wandered off to a whiteboard and was looking at it pretty intently. I excused myself from Nagase but she followed behind, albeit at a distance.

“What the hell are you doing back here?”

The serious expression on her face kinda through me for a loop. Had she actually found something? I looked at the whiteboard and all I saw were some ground rules and scribbles. There was a lot to see but most of it’d been erased. There were just smears of red and blue, where words probably used to be. Seems like it’d seen a lot of use.

“I’m looking for... proof of myself.“

She seemed a little irritated.

“Because! It’s strange, right? Admit it: it’s strange! I’m here and nobody knows anything about me! Even if I don’t remember anything, you lot should, shouldn’t you?“

“It’s not like we knew much about each other either, y’know. We’re workin’ this out as we go.”

“I’m being excluded! There should be exciting clues to who I am everywhere! Why can’t I find them? ... Ah... no, could it be...?”

You’re an idiot?

“Aha! Hahaha! Of course. You’re supposed to find them for me!“

“I’m what now?”

“It’s not much of a revelation if the revelator finds it out, right?”

I can feel my shoulders sag at a weight I can’t quite explain but it’s definitely linked to this chick. She just seems so overwhelmingly proud of everything she says. Nagase seems amused, at least.

“You’re always in such good spirits.“

Oh right, she stayed with Yuunagi and Nagase, didn’t she? Guess she’d be more familiar with Chiffon than I am.

“A good spirit is key to a good body and mind. Now then! Make my mind sharper yet by telling me about this room!”

“Go look yourself.”

She stared at me with the audacity of a guilt-free puppy that’s just chewed through your shoes.

“It’s fine! I, er, okay, um, I know it sounds dull but when I get to like, you know, introduce people to, uh, to things. It’s great! Mm. Yeah. Super great.”

It sounds sarcastic but coming out of Nagase’s sincere mouth I figured she was just flubbing her words.

She ushers Chiffon over and sweeps an arm across the room. The room was... small, well, it was probably more average but it just felt smaller due to all the crap lying around. A big table took up a huge bit of space too and to go with the painting supplies, there were chalkboards and whiteboards and even some statues. Whether someone had crafted ‘em or someone had just left ‘em here, I had no idea.

“This is the Arts Room. Since the place was a free school, you could come in here at any time and practice your craft.“

“Like magic?“

“... Um, no. Um, more like, you know... whoosh ... and splat... clay, paints... pen...cils... anyway, art.”

Chiffon nodded but I wondered about what that gesture even meant for her.

“There are a lot of supplies for it, too. Clay moulds, sponges, duct tape, paints, inks... there’s even safety equipment. Like an apron or some masks. I mean, I’d guess some artsy people get, you know, like, um... super into it. I guess. I know when I’m writing I lose my every sense...“

As Nagase talked, I listened with some vague interest, but I couldn’t help but be drawn to the same whiteboard Chiffon was drawn to. I’d been trying to pick out words on it for a while now, the erased ones, but it was no easy feat. Still, I swore I could see some. Greetings, project details and... names. Kotobuki. Seiyama... and... Anzai. I thought I read those names. But maybe it was some kinda confirmation bias. Like... I wanted to see those names.

I shrug and turn back to Nagase and Chiffon who are still moving around the room.

“These are... naked men.“

Nagase almost stumbles over when Chiffon says that, pointing at some of the busts.

“I mean. I... y-you can’t really see the lower half, so... a-anyway, th-that’s art. It’s just. Artistic!”

“Hmm.“

I get the impression she’s not impressed and Nagase’s face continues to redden as she reaches for her glasses. As I glance around, I can see there are pieces on the wall, some scenery sketches and paintings but no one I recognize.. and no names are on them, either. A red clock’s in this room, too, just ticking away. There’s a window too, so you can let in a breeze. I opt to take a peek out of it.

... Hm. Yep. That sure is sky.

Seems like you could jump to the ground floor but you’d probably risk breaking your whole damn leg.

... Well, maybe I could manage it, though.

I glance back to see Nagase seemingly finish up her tour.

“... And you can find some tutorials and guides in here. I think it’s... nice. Like, you could learn to start drawing anytime. So! What do you think?”

“... Art seems like a hassle.“

I guess we can cross Super High School Level Artist off her list, too. With that small tour done, I was guessing we were done in here. Well, unless I wanted to talk to Nagase a bit more, anyway.

* Talk to Chika Nagase

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

Exploration {.AV Room.}

It only happened in the space of a few seconds but it still hit me hard. The raised voices and blood-red atmosphere. I wasn’t sure which side I was on, if any and.. in that case, what I should do. I wasn’t sure who I liked. And who I trusted. It was easy to say ‘I don’t want anyone else to die’ but... someone else would, right? If people didn’t stomp out the flames.

That’s what Kumatani and Shiratori were trying to do, huh. But even that kinda thing backfires sometimes. Nobody likes being told what to do. It was a mess any way you looked at it.

“--de. Kaede!”

“Don’t yank on me! I can hear you fine.”

I did actually zone out for a bit there but I wasn’t about to say that. Chiffon pointed avidly at the door Shiratori went through earlier.

“Where’s that?”

“Uhh... according to this... that’s the AV Room.”

“Hmph... a map... how nice... you people and your maps.“

She’s bitter, huh.

“Yeah. Bet you’re grateful I’m humouring you now, huh?“

“Bah! You’re not special! Don’t get ahead of yourself!“

I feel some people’d get real charmed by those words. ‘She’s so embarrassed and she’s hiding it’ or some shit. But really, she’s just an arrogant twerp. She’s... still. Just an arrogant twerp.

“AV Room... that means... computers! Ah! Aha, genius! Let’s go, Kao! I can google myself and find out who I am!”

She’s said my name twice now and she’s either back to forgetting or has found some new joy in pissing me off.

“Congrats! You’re gonna get the reveal you’re a dress best paired with cashmere.“

Chiffon takes a moment to ponder my words before realizing she, in fact, can’t remember her name. God, what an idiot.

“Gah! Hurry up and remember my name, idiot!“

“You’re the idiot who doesn’t remember, idiot.”

She stomps, opting for pettiness over a comeback and finds her spite come back in full force as she dashes for the door and runs through it. I just shrug and let it happen, entering after her.

The room was kinda dim, mostly lit by the rows of computers. Looked like there were about eighteen seperate desks and chairs... and some more monitors and stuff up ahead, including one huge screen that helped light up the whole room. I’d guess this room’d be a lot darker if that thing got turned off. There were some similar but smaller ones on the walls, too. God, there were just... so many monitors... you felt like you were being watched by all of them.

There was a kinda constant dull humming of machinery and a warmth that came with this much stuff being turned on.

Still, it was naive of me to think I could spend a minute in here without being accosted by--

“Kaede Shimizu-kun!”

Hi, Shiratori.

“Listen up! This room contains a great many electronics! Don’t distract anyone using them and be careful where you walk! You could unplug something. No running in here - that goes without saying!“

“And yet here you are saying it.”

I had no intention of running in a room like this but anytime he spoke up about anything like this I felt really contrary.

“Sh-shut up! I’m being thorough! Consider it a warning!“

“Who would run in a crappy room like this anyway? Only nerds and computer geeks would be caught dead in here anyway.”

“Dead?! Don’t say something so ominous! Take that back, Nanashi-kun!”

She jumps at his voice but... well, to Chiffon’s credit, doesn’t seem like she backs down easy.

“Who’re you calling nameless? Aren’t you supposed to be a civil servant? Why don’t you try some manners?”

I’m actually kinda surprised she’s going toe to toe with him, not backing away from his glare despite the obvious height difference.

“An unidentified person with unknown intentions is suspicious! I have every right to treat you as a potential threat!“

“How am I suspicious?! I’m a petite, beautiful highschool girl -- the picture of glamour and grace. And if you don’t agree, that’s on you! Maybe you should detain yourself and think on your own actions, cretin-who-makes-girls-cry.“

“Now you listen here--”

Snap!

That... sounded like a book, I think. My eyes glide to the source and I find Kasahara, barely illuminated by one of the computer screens. I’d say she looked pissed but she always kinda did.

“If you want to mewl and argue, do it outside. Some of us are attempting real work here.“

“A... ah, yes... my apologies! Yes, there’s... still much to do here. You two! I’ll have my eye on you!”

Guess Chiffon’s on his hit list now, too. I can’t say I’m surprised, she just came out of nowhere. Of course she seems suspicious. And she really can’t help herself from picking fights. She glared in Kasahara’s direction, ready to start something and I just couldn’t be bothered to be there for that. I put a hand on her shoulder, in case she goes marching off again.

“I don’t care if you pick a stupid fight, just don’t drag me into it. You can go argue with a wall later after your tour.”

“Don’t be stupid, walls don’t talk back.”

“And yet I’m sure you’d find a way.”

She stomps over my foot and sticks out her tongue at me. I’d be more pissed but she was so weak I barely noticed it. Whatever, just let her be petty. In a perfect world, she’ll wear herself out arguing with Shiratori and they’ll both be out of my hair.

The room had a lot of stuff I figured was interesting to somebody... all the tech just looked like some kinda computer to me and I couldn’t tell if they were all the same or not. Shiratori was by one of the many desks and Kasahara was up near the front. If I was being honest here, they were both kinda a pain to talk to. But I guess I wasn’t much of a picnic either. And if I wanted to know anything about this room and the crap in it, I oughta at least trying talking to one of ‘em.

* Talk to Toshiko Kasahara

* Talk to Suguru Shiratori

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

{.Words That Came Too Late.}

As soon as I resurfaced I was greeted by Yuunagi’s merry laughter. I made sure to glare at her but I wasn’t as embarrassed as I thought I’d be thankfully. Seemed like Chiffon’s bitter mumbling took up most of the attention, anyway. She squeezed out her ponytail as if she’d been soaked through and gave her feet a good stomp.

“Bah! I feel like I swallowed a cobweb!”

“Th-that’s why you gotta be careful...”

“At least we have a swimming pool now. It... kinda evens out?”

You sound so unsure, Yuunagi...

“The only thing to do is sate my sense of adventure! It’s the only thing that’ll ease this indignation.”

“Kaede!”

She’s... she actually remembered it. I’m in awe. My voice kinda comes out a little dazed.

“Uh... yeah?“

“We’re going! You’re attending, right? To the first floor!”

There were rooms I wanted to check, too so there was no real reason to say no. If I ran about a bit more, I might shake off some of this dust too. It’s not like I wanted to stay this messy either.

Chiffon lead the charge this time which Hirotsugu seemed particularly relieved about. I followed but I managed to give them both a thumbs-up before I slipped out of the door.

“Good luck!”

And it was back into the hall. God, this damn hall was so long. Halls were long, stairs were long... this free school mansion house was such torture. I doubt that was in Patchnuki’s plans but, man, it did add to the stress. Just a little. We were continuing on our merry way until we heard voices near the stairs.

“Wait! Wait right there!“

That was... Shiratori’s voice. His voice was so booming Chiffon stopped in place. She actually seemed a little intimidated.

“Nagase-kun, I’m telling you to stop right there!“

I hear him descend the stairs in a hurry. His voice is so loud it’s basically impossible not to hear him. If you’re around the area, I guess, anyway. I’m really not sure whether to interrupt it so I just kinda loiter upstairs.

“I... um... don’t want... I... I’m sorry. But... don’t...I d-don’t want to see your face right now.“

He seemed shellshocked but really... nothing seems to stop that guy.

“You have to at least hear me out! It’s important!“

Nagase stops in place but doesn’t bother facing him. Now that she’s actually staying it seems like he’s unsure of what to do next.

“Th... that... while I still believe everything being in the open is better... I have to admit the way I’ve... I could’ve breached things in a finer way. That was my bad! I apologize profusely!"

The quiet that stretched made me skin kinda tingle. I’ve always felt there are good silences and bad ones and this was... definitely not a good one.

“I’m... I’m, um... sorry, too...“

“B-because I’m not, uh... I’m... it’s like... I don’t think I can forgive you so easily...”

She looks really uncomfortable to be there and I’m beginning to feel bad even hearing it. But turning away now just feels weird. And I’m nosy.

“You didn’t... uh, um... I’m not sure how to put this but it’s not like... you really lost anything, right? I mean, you know, credibility! Faith. That kinda... floaty thing. But... ‘you don’t deserve to be here’. ‘You cheated’. Those are things, um... I think... I’m sure, that uh, some people might be thinking. B-because I... stole. Because of what you said.“

“I think it’s... easy to say things are better in the open, but, um... is that really true? I definitely think that sometimes you don’t have to know the full story. Because, um, if anything, doesn’t think make me more of a target?”

“It doesn’t! Don’t be ridiculous! Nagase-kun, nobody else will die! I’m going to see to that. And you got here on your own talent, surely! I refuse to believe you don’t belong here! ”

“B-but you can’t, right? You couldn’t get people to go to your meeting thingy... so, I’m... the thinking is that... you can’t stop this either. And... and... and... and it’s my life! It’s not really your business! W-when you act like you’re helping all you do is drive us further apart.”

“And I’m... and I’m scared to be around someone like that. Someone who can callously just... out someone’s secret like that... I’m scared of you, S-Shiratori-san.”

“There’s... there’s no need for that. If it’d help, I can tell you my own secret! If... if it’d get you to trust me, then--!”

“Sorry... I’m so sorry... I just... I just don’t think... it doesn’t work like that, Shiratori-san... you don’t... ’get’ people to trust. I think... um... I think you trust people to trust. I-it’s not really your choice... you have to believe in them... and... in wanting to expose everyone’s secrets, I think, um... all that really did was... like... it showed that you really don’t trust anyone, right? S... so I can’t... you can’t want trust if you won’t trust yourself...”

“Yuu-chan didn’t... judge me at all. She didn’t ask... she said... ‘Chi-chan must’ve had her reasons’. And it... and it made me so happy.“

“Forgive me for, um... for like... this part, but... aren’t you only here because you were told to reflect on it? Yuu-chan and K-Kumatani-san gave you, they like, you know, they were on your case. So you went and did this, but... if you’re only reflecting because they told you to, I don’t really think it’s reflecting.”

“No, but! Look -- listen! We’re strong enough to support each other! I believe in us! Definitely, definitely, definitely! But you have to be willing to give us a shot! I had every intention of telling everyone my secret as well. I just ... needed some good will first. If we all shared what was on our minds, what we kept hidden, we could allay our own fears! Fear is what causes accidents! If we believe in each other, nobody else needs to get hurt! I’m sure of it! I know I... I go too far sometimes! But I’m trying to make amends. Nagase-kun, please! Believe me, I’m trying.”

“B-but! But Shiratori-san, it’s... I’m sorry... I’m sorry! I’ll try but I need some space. And... and I still think... you need to think this through a little more. Because nobody will ever follow the lead of someone who won’t respect others. T-that’s the truth. In reality and fiction. Don’t... don’t push this. Please... don’t make me doubt you more than I do...”

Nagase’s inward body language said a lot. Through the whole conversation, she’d barely made eye contact. She... really was scared and I wasn’t sure I could blame her. It’d happened so fast and... people had died so soon after I hadn’t really considered her feelings and that made me feel like a real shitty person. To have a secret like that just blurted out... I hadn’t put much thought into it but I’m sure others had.

‘She doesn’t deserve to be here’... I couldn’t guarantee that thought hadn’t passed through someone’s head even if it hadn’t crossed mine.

With one last muttered sorry, Nagase inched away from Shiratori before sprinting away, best she could. Shiratori made a vague effort to stop her but his energy seemed to die on him half-way.

“Why... why can’t I do this right?! I’m trying to help! I’m really trying to help!”

His head kinda drops and he sighs deeply before checking something on his ID and entering a door himself. If I checked my own ID, it seemed like... Nagase had escaped to the Arts Room and Shiratori had entered the AV Room. I sighed too. That drama froze up all my joints somehow... and I wasn’t even a part of it. Seemed like it wasn’t just me who ended up affected, too.

“Th... that was tense! You people are so roundabout!“

“You’re a people too, y’know.”

“Fufu! I’m above you guys, though. Even those weird killing rules don’t apply to me. I wouldn’t demean myself to do such things even if they did.“

Her face actually becomes... dare I say it, thoughtful.

“Hmph. You trip up then wallow and regret all the time. Isn’t that tiring? Idiot Red’s an idiot. If it means something to you, stand with pride and state your case!"

“Don’t think it’s always that simple. I mean, not like you’re getting a warm welcome here from everyone.“

“So? If I cared about your opinions, I’d make concessions. But I don’t; you’re all strangers. If you don’t like me as I am, I’m not going to stretch myself into a shape you like for no reason! And if I did care, I wouldn’t stop until I was forgiven. Living with such heavy regrets sounds so tiring. Lamenting over poor results because it failed once? Such arrogance and cheek! I’d have someone beg 100 times over for wronging me. You all do things in such a confusing fashion - perhaps you’d be happier if you just spat it out directly. Honestly, I can’t figure you elaborate people out.”

“... Directly, huh... sounds... difficult but it’s not like I’m against it.“

Wait, did she just call herself simple?

No, but more seriously... I kinda wanted that too - simplicity. But it’s not that easy... I don’t think so, anyway. I mean, even if you didn’t want to regret something, life could mess you up good and proper and make you. It’s not like you always have a choice. And it’s not like these things are always so clear in the moment.

“Phew! What a topic! It gives me goosebumps - hate it! Hey. I’m bored! Let’s check a door.“

On the bright side, she’s never down for too long. It’s fine. I wanted to take my mind off it, too. All this house gave me was shitty feelings and deep things to think about and I wanted no part of either. It was... a lot easier before this. I could just switch off my mind and go wherever I wanted.

I could escape.

This house was a trap in a lot of ways, I guess. I could feel the atmosphere strangle me sometimes. Try and drown me in its nothing. So I had to keep moving. And trying.

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

Exploration {.Break Room.}

According to Mana, Hirotsugu’s been planning some... surprise or something here. The Break Room’s pretty close so at the very least it’s not much of a walk. It was at the very end of the corridor and you could see a little bit of the inside before you ever entered due to a glass window in the door.

I pressed the handle down and let myself in only to be shocked by a clatter and a crash.

“Oh Hiro-chan, are you okay?”

“F-f-fi-fine! Ju-ju-just just f-fine! C-c-cause, you know, a hero n-ne-ne-never f-fa-fa-falls!“

“Kay-oh, just take care.”

I entered with some caution, not wanting to alarm Hirotsugu too much and, to my surprise, Chiffon seemed to show similar restraint. The stunt double was too busy picking up his mess, some coloured pieces of paper and scissors to pay us much mind so Yuunagi ended up being the one to see us first.

Instead of greeting us, she put a finger to her lips as if to shh us. What... was she up to?

She creeps closer to the fumbling Hirotsugu with an amused smile on her face. Chiffon grabs my sleeve in some kind of anticipation.

“Hiro-chan! Quick! It’s Aokami-san from Yokai Rangers!“

“W-w-wahh! Gy-gyaaa! W-wait wait, wh-what?! B-but h-how?”

He bangs his knee on the table and, undaunted, rises to his feet, looking in every direction. The second he sees us, he almost trips right back over the table but Yuunagi catches him. Not that I think she needed to; the guy knows his stunts.

“M-M-Ma-Maki-sannnn...”

His voice sounds really pitiful... the reaction was kinda funny but I also kinda feel for the guy.

“Sorry, sorry! Saw the opportunity and just kinda had to! You okay, buddy?“

“F... fu-funny... I w-wa-was able to pa-par-participate in th-the the j-jo-joke? Th-then... then I th-th-think I’m ok-ok-kay with it!”

“You’re a good sport!”

“B-bu-but... I c-ca-can... see... s-sh-she!”

He points shakily at Chiffon

“Wh-wh-what’s sh-she d-d-do-doing doing here?! Ma-Ma-Maki-san, th-this-this is a huge problem!”

Yuunagi doesn’t seem to mind him shaking her roughly by the shoulders.

“It’s fine if we keep it hush-hush. Just play it cool, big guy, you got this.“

“G-got this... okay... y-you’re ri-right... I’ve g-go-got-got this...”

Hirotsugu takes a deep breath before jabbing a finger at Chiffon.

“Y-yo-you’re n-not welcome here! G-go-go away!”

“Go away?!”

“Y... yeah! Re-return fr-fr-from whence you c-c-came! G-go go home!”

"Wha... go home? I don’t know where that is, you go home!”

A sort of warbled wheeze comes from beneath Hirotsugu’s mask and I’m guessing that reply was really not what he wanted. Yuunagi swoops in and hooks her arm around Chiffon’s.

“Fon-fon, come with? The coffee this machine makes is dee-lish.“

“Eh? Whaa-- w-well... since you’re offering me such attention! Onwards!”

Yuunagi gives me a stealthy wink and while I don’t... really know what she’s up to, I think I can vaguely get a sense of it.

“Alright. Spill the beans.“

“I d-do-don’t know wha-what-what you’re t-ta-ta-talking about...”

I’m sure if I had x-ray vision I could see him avert his eyes.

“Hey, Chiff--“

Hirotsugu jumps and flails his hands around a bit.

“Nonononononononono! Please! Please...! N-no-not that...”

“... So?”

“... P... pa-party... th-th-that was th-the-the idea... um... I th-th-thought it would ma-ma-maybe raise ev-everyone’s sp-spi-spi-spirits... and... th-th-that girl, sh-she d-d-do-doesn’t really know a-any of us. S-s-so I th-th-thought... I’d d-d-do th-th-this as a welcoming p-pa-party...”

“Oh... so that’s what it was. You were just trying to keep it a secret.”

“I’m! Ac-actually v-v-v-v-very ba-ba-bad with secrets... b-b-but Ma-Ma-Maki-san it’d be more f-fun th-th-that way.”

“Huh... what do you know. That’s a really nice idea.”

“D-do-do you th-th-think... th-th-that girl will b-b-be happy...?”

I actually wasn’t sure. I’d like to think so, I know I’d be but I hadn’t actually seen pure joy from Chiffon yet. More just... a smug aura. Did she experience happiness like most humans? I honestly couldn’t be sure. But this was still worth a shot and it was honestly nice to just see Hirotsugu and Yuunagi in such high spirits planning it.

“Definitely. You’re doin’ something good here. Can’t wait to see it all done.“

It’s amazing how I can see how he’s feeling so clearly when he’s still got that mask on.

“Well... b-b-back to work with me!“

I salute him and watch as he hurriedly puts all the paper back on the table.

This room seemed... honestly really comfortable. There was a big sofa and a TV there. I kinda wondered if it worked. There were vending machines, snacks and sodas both trapped in ‘em and a lot of circular tables and folding chairs. Seems like more could be gotten too, if need be. A clock sat on the wall, ticking away minute by minute.

Seems like Chiffon’s still over by Yuunagi. I guess I could talk to her or bother Hirotsugu a little more.

* Talk to Hirotsugu Tsukumo

* Talk to Yuunagi Maki

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

Gym.  {.Kurumi: Talk.}

Part of me figured Ogawa wouldn’t be much company - the girl loved to pepper all her sentences with death threats and that’s when she wasn’t just scowling at you. But hey, either I didn’t care or I wanted to try my luck. I wasn’t sure which. Ah well, either way, no regrets.

The snowboarder seemed to kinda be in a world of her own. She stared at the volleyball in her hands as if she was waiting for it to talk to her or something. Before I had the chance to speak up, she bapped the ball into the air and slammed it down so hard I was honestly speechless. She may have been a snowboarder but man, apparently she wasn’t bad at volleyball either. I couldn’t help showing my admiration.

“Nice kill.”

I could’ve sworn I saw a blissful look on her face for about half a second before it was replaced by her trademark grimace.

“What do you want?”

“World peace And a KitKat.”

I felt my dryness increase with the stress.

“Die.“

“Well that’s world peace down. Guess I’m hoping on the candy bar.”

“What’s your gameplan? I don’t like you and I’m not on board with this whole group harmony crap... you get that, right?”

“Yeah, think you’ve made that abundantly clear.“

“Then why are you bugging me? Go away!”

“Listen Ogawa, get this through your head - you’re not that special, okay? I’m looking around the place and I’m seeing where everyone’s at. Like it or not, you’re a part of everyone so that includes you. Get that?“

She didn’t seem to appreciate me saying ‘get that’ right back at her.

“I’m just making conversation. If you’re so sure you’re not gonna make friends then you have nothing to lose, right?“

As I’ve been speaking, I’ve been searching through the racks and bins of supplies. My eyes find something interesting and I retrieve a basketball. Two seconds later, I give it a throw and watch as it narrowly misses the net, rolling around the rim for a bit. Ogawa seems at least faintly interested in that.

“You do volleyball before snowboarding?”

“...I dabbled. I guess.”

There’s a pause and I feel like she’s eyeing the fallen basketball now, like there’s something on her mind.

“... You do basketball before free running...?”

“I dabbled, I guess.”

Her expression doesn’t change but she does go off to collect both balls. She places them both back in the large bin and then sighs, deliberately not meeting my eyes.

“This is so stupid. Suppose you somehow get to know me better, what next? We co-exist? Nobody else dies? That’s a fairytale. A ridiculous candy-coated lie. Only an idiot would believe that.“

“I get it’s a long shot but isn’t it worth a try? Surely that’s better than the alternative.“

“It’s impossible!”

“... When push comes to shove... people will always betray each other. The closer you get, the easier it becomes. I know what happens when someone ‘nice’ says ‘let’s give it a try!’’. So don’t come and act like you’ve got pure intentions! Anzai had those pretty ideas and see where it got her? Well I’m not like that!��

The way she blew up took me by surprise but I guess it shouldn’t have. Ogawa’s been a bit volatile since even before someone died. Three people dying... well, that’d only prove her point, right? Besides... even if she was tough she was probably scared. But that fear was only gonna make stuff worse. Making all these threats, pushing people away... it’d rile people up even more.

“I’m not saying ‘let’s exchange life stories’. Just wanna work together. Way I see it, we got nothing to lose working together. Unless, of course, you get a kick out of seeing people die.”

“Towards what? You broke the rules already; you know what happens. Even if we find a way off the island, we’ll die. Until that thing goes away, we’re screwed.”

“So we find it. A big plush bastard like that’s probably controlled by something, right? Someone.”

“And what, you somehow think that the mastermind who organized all this will just... let us get to that? Yeah, I don’t think so. And while you’re playing Shounen Jump friendship olympics, he’s gonna come up with more motives, people’ll bite and more people will die.”

“Hungry people step on anyone to get what they want. And if you can’t defend yourself, they’ll use you too. That’s how the world works! It’s a lousy way to live, but I didn’t pick it.”

The messed up part of this was I didn’t think Ogawa was wrong. But I hated hearing it and being confronted with it. She reminded me of myself in my stormier years. She wasn’t wrong but... her outlook was too grim. I was trying to pull myself away from that thinking and here she was, throwing it back in my face.

“Sure. People are selfish, I get it. Why not use that to our advantge? You saw what happened to Hanji. This isn’t some golden road to our dreams here. If you mess it up even a little, you die. The best laid plans and all that. Is it really worth it? You’ve got such a narrow margin of victory. I’d like to think most of us agree there. Nobody wants to die, right? So best thing we can do is knock our heads together for a solution. It’s not gonna be a picnic but we owe it to ourselves to try.”

“Why... are you bothering with me? I’ve told you time and time again--”

“Listen, your crappy attitude makes this shit worse.”

“Don’t curse.”

“All you’re doing is stirring the pot. When you frazzle people, of course they’ll slip up and make dumb mistakes. We don’t need that right now.“

“... What we need is to work together as a team, right?”

I tilted my head. I agreed with that - which was saying something, since I’d never been a team player. But I somehow doubted she did. Everything about her expression and body language screamed icy.

... Yeah, I’m not gonna make an easy pun with that. But I could.

“There’s no way that’ll ever happen.”

The cold way she says it makes something in me snap.

“News flash, Ogawa, you ever consider you’re not the only one? Who’s been betrayed? Let down? I’ve been kicked around by people I thought of as family. You ever stop and think about that?! You’re too wrapped up in yourself to even consider it! Maybe you oughta consider you’re not the only one who’s seen some shit and using that flimsy victim complex as a shield ain’t gonna do crap.”

I’d raised my voice before I’d realized it and kicked myself for it immediately. There was no way I could reach her like this. It really was looking at myself. I still had aspects of her mindset in my own head and it pained me to admit I thought the same way. I knew those thoughts were wrong but at the same time, my every nerve told me to cut people off. Throw them away. Live only for me.

I knew that was wrong but it haunted me every now and again. I knew Patchnuki surely knew that, too. That’s what made it so real to me.

Ogawa’s body was as stiff as always, her face as sour as always. If I stuck around any longer, I might say worse so without even a goodbye, I backed away. It was hard. I was trying to convince Ogawa of something even I didn’t believe and for what? Because I was influenced that deeply by Anzai? I didn’t even know her that well. Because I was afraid if we didn’t get out of here soon, I might make a mistake?

... Yeah. Maybe it was that.

Maybe I just wanted to get out of here.

[Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

Gym.  {.Manabu: Talk.}

Sure, I was no expert but I couldn’t help but think Manabu looked a lot better now. There was some colour to his face and his expressions felt a bit more genuine. Maybe ‘cause he was somewhere new? Wasn’t sure but it was sure nice to see.

“I’m seeing so much of you today. Feels lucky.“

“You look good, Mana.”

“Flirt.”

I’m not sure if it was my tired stare that made him laugh or his own joke but he was quick to smoother over it regardless.

“Thanks, Kaede. Hope I didn’t worry you too much. I can’t pretend I think everything’s gonna be hunky dory, but... I’m here. And I’m trying. That’s enough for now.“

“Yeah... bit by bit... we’re doing what we can.”

The situation we’d been placed in was weird enough when you thought about it. Waking up in that dark cave, our memories shot, then being thrown into this bizarre kill-or-be-killed game while some screwball with stuffing for brains tells us how terrible and tragic we all are. It was so ridiculous I scoffed out loud just thinking about it. I’d never believe it if someone told me that. Even though it was happening all around me, part of me still couldn’t quite believe it.

But then... three people...

You can compartmentalize a lotta stuff. Lock up stuff you can’t handle real tight. But losing three people like that? Seeing those bodies? No can do. There are too many reminders. Subtle cues. I don’t think any of us can be quite the same after that.

“... Maybe we should talk about something else. I doubt it’s healthy to brood. We’ll get bitter if we only consume misery.”

The way he phrased it made it sound so artsy. And... correct, somehow. I mean, the idea of it was smart too, but, I dunno, some people had a way of making their suggestions more appealing I guess.

“So. The gym, huh.“

“That’s what you’re going with?”

“What? Didn’t see you volunteering anything...”

“Hmm... how about... sports? Anything you practice?“

“Football. Basketball... guess I tried a lot of stuff. Found I wasn’t much of a team player, though.”

Manabu blinks and I get the impression he didn’t expect that.

“The Kaede who’s been going around checking on everyone so sweetly? Not a team player?”

I don’t like it being put like that... ‘sweetly’. I’m not even sure I’m being kind, you know? It’s... a way of keeping myself busy.

“Not like it’s commendable. I dunno, I’m just doing what I can. If I seem like some nice guy it’s probably ‘cause of the situation. I’ve heard some people get super strong or gentle in a crisis.“

He considers that.

“Since the beginning things have been a little... off. But you’ve always been a pretty helpful guy, if you ask me. Wear that with a bit more pride.“

“I thought we’d get bitter if we only ‘consumed misery’.“

He laughs.

“Mm, I can definitely see the bitter. Ahaha! My bad, I shouldn’t have pressed. Don’t be mad. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you.”

It looks like he wants to continue but he opts to change tack. It’s weird. I didn’t wanna talk about it but now that he’s stopped all of a sudden I’m really curious what he was going to say.

“I’ve played a few sports myself. Contrary to you though, I’ve always worked well with others.“

“... Isn’t that hard?“

“Hm?“

“Well... athletes aren’t exactly the humble type. They put their all into training and stuff but you... your whole thing is that you can master just about anything in half the time. Can’t imagine people being fine with that.”

“That’s blunt! Are you asking if I was bullied? My, my.”

“Uh, I... I didn’t think...”

I really didn’t. I was just curious ‘cause it sounded like a bad combination and... I don’t know. I was curious how he managed, I guess.

“I’m no stranger to bullies. And some people definitely hated me for what I could do. But you learn to adapt. Find a way of living you’re happy with, you know?“

“Satisfied?”

“S-sorry. That was a dumb question, didn’t mean to drag stuff up...”

“I’m kind of in awe of it, that brain of yours. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing to just... come out with it. Questions like that. Or should I say it’s somewhat refreshing? Haha. You definitely ought to be careful though. Not every question’ll give you such a pleasant answer. And not everyone’s going to be so understanding.“

I wanted to groan at the chiding but I really had it coming. I’d already been fed a thousand volts for not listening yet somehow my mouth and body were still moving before anything else.

“Yeah... yeah...“

“Good answer! ... Ah, right, one more thing, Kaede.“

He spotted me trying to walk away, I see. Well, subtlety’s never been my strong suit. No point trying to be Super High School Level Smooth this late in life.

“What?”

“Thank you. For looking out for Chiffon. I know she’s... weird. And that trusting her is hard but I can’t help but think... well, I’m not sure she means well but she certainly doesn’t mean any harm. That’s what I think.“

“Since she doesn’t apply to our rules, you never know. Maybe one day she’ll save our lives.”

I glanced over at Chiffon with some doubt.

... Her?

Hm.

“I... guess? You never know.”

If I left her to own her devices for too long she might get into some trouble so I said my goodbyes to Manabu and checked in on Chiffon. We’d probably all have time for more conversation yet anyway.

[Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

Swimming Pool.  {.Rie: Talk.}

It just made sense to talk to Rie since we’d already briefly chatted. And... I honestly felt she needed someone to vent to. I wasn’t sure if that someone should be me but I felt I had an obligation to at least try and hear her out.

“You... up for chatting a bit?“

“With you? ... Yeah. You’re alright company. But not her.”

She didn’t bother gesturing or even indicating who she meant but it was pretty easy to connect the dots. Chiffon seemed plenty happy to walk about on her own anyway.

“What’s eating you, Rie?“

“I mean, three goddamn people are dead Kaede, what do you think?”

I honestly couldn’t think of a reply. It’s not like... I’d forgotten. I just... I didn’t know. I wanted to say I was upset too but was it showing? Should I be showing it more? My emotions were a mess. The only reason I was even walking around was because I just wasn’t dealing with it. Just put it to the side. Those feelings aren’t important. I thought I’d grown out of that habit but it seems like the quiet side of me that just parcels out crap that happens to him and pretends it’s all good is still alive and well.

Rie looks back at her reflection and sighs.

“... Sorry. It’s not like you weren’t there.“

“...I still can’t believe it. I keep feeling like something’s missing... like I’m supposed to find something or fix this but... there’s no way, right? There’s just... no way. It all really happened. There’s nothing we can do. They’re... really gone.“

Rie nods a solemn nod.

“I want to say Daisy didn’t deserve that but... she did that, huh. She actually killed someone... goddamn. I actually thought if anyone was gonna snap it’d be that lil kimono girl. But she was the real victim in all this, wasn’t she? She never saw it coming.“

My stomach turned thinking about it again. Neither one of us wanted to talk about this - I know I didn’t. But I also knew it was pretty important. It’s like, you kinda had to talk about it. But I still really didn’t want to. I’d barely known Anzai but at the same time... she’d been someone special, somehow. Different. Even before I entered this program, came to this place, I knew her. I’d kinda met her. She’d inspired me. And she inspired us all when we came here, too... and for what? To be betrayed by someone she thought she could trust?

Nobody deserved that.

Nobody deserved that, but... she really... deserved better than that.

“You and Daisy... close?“

“Hard to get close in a place like this... but I liked her well enough. Kinda dim but, y’know. Fun. Fun enough for me, anyway.“

“Smarter than she seemed, I guess.“

“Yeah, no kidding. I feel like a tool.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

Those words came from the bottom of my heart. There are people out there you feel secure with. That make you laugh. That make you think ‘there’s no way this person can hurt me’. But they can. And you really can’t see it until it’s too late.

“I keep... running over all the shit she said to me. Keep trying to find some way I could’ve known. Something suspicious, something real bad... something... I dunno, something that’d make it make sense. Even now I hate that I’m thinkin’ ‘was she really like that’. Like, how big of a sucker do I have to be? I gotta give this up. She was a bad person. That’s how it is - I just didn’t see it.“

What she was saying seemed to make sense but it didn’t feel right. I mean, it wasn’t that simple, was it? Or was it? In the end, we never really knew much about Daisy. What went through her head, why she did it... Hanji said a bunch of stuff about her but it’s not like that’s the same thing.

We were all just kinda left with this emptiness - this uncertainty. Murder wasn’t the answer, that seemed obvious, but if I could at least understand the motives and the people, it’d be something. Like this, it all just felt unfinished somehow. I could only really think of one thing.

“We have to make sure it doesn’t happen again.“

“Yeah, no shit. And this time I won’t be stupid enough to think nobody’s gonna take the plunge.”

Would this... happen again?

That seemed to be Rie’s take on it. I didn’t want to be naive about this but I really wanted to believe after what we saw, after everything that happened... people’d just... kinda chill. It’d be kinda cool if we could work together but I wasn’t expecting that I was just hoping for... some kinda co-existence and mutual help, I guess.

“... Hey, Kaede.“

“Hm?”

“Feels weird to ask you but... keep... keep an eye on Mikiro every now and again, okay? And don’t ever hurt him.“

Despite talking so passionately about trust and not knowing it seemed like this aspect of Rie hadn’t changed. She really cared about him.

“I won’t.“

She nods.

“Good. Promise me you’ll come after me before you ever come after him. Don’t care if you kill someone or betray me but just... promise that much.“

“He means a lot to you, huh.“

“You wouldn’t understand. I don’t think anyone could. More than anything, I want to protect him. Save him like he saved me, but... ha. He’s downright scared of me. That’s why I can’t always help the way I want to.“

I can’t think of anything to add or say. I get Mikiro’s position given his secret but I couldn’t really argue against Rie’s sincerity. It was a weird situation where I ended up feeling I knew too much. And yet, I was still missing the complete story. What did he do to save her? Wasn’t gonna lie. I was curious. But it didn’t seem the right time to ask. I may have said dumb things without thinking ‘em through before but even I knew asking this right now was a bad, bad idea.

“... I promise, Rie.“

“Good.”

She stretches and groans out loud.

“Ugh... I hate this kinda mood. What a pain... ahh... why don’t you go back and tend to the little princess? I’m tired of talking...”

I was kinda done here, too. All this stuff was weighing in my mind and I was beginning to feel exhausted all over again.

[Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

{.Her Amnesia.}

As soon as I agreed to having her around, Chiffon was shockingly on best behaviour; at least, that’s how it felt to me. The rooms nearest to the clinic seemed honestly a bit on the dull side. Maybe they were interesting, sure, but I just couldn’t see an arts room as appealing right now. Maybe it was just me. The most local and interesting place I could see was the pool. It’d be cool just to look at it, you know? Not like I wanted to swim or anything.

With a location in mind, I began moving and Chiffon trailed behind me, occasionally making small talk. There was this huge and grand stair case we had to get through before we got there... two, in a way, as it went up to a little corridor that just had some tableside desks, urns and potted plants before leading to another staircase. The Hanjis sure love their stairs, huh.

I thought I’d take a break and Chiffon followed suit, if only to glare daggers at the urns.

“Ugh, I detest passing through here... I’m a person of taste but I just can’t see the appeal of vases... what do they do? How pointless! It’s the cheapest of the rich that feel the need to show off their fortune...”

I can’t disagree... but the way she was talking made it sound like she was rich too. Then again, she also seemed to think she was an amazing person. One thing was for sure, from what she was saying this definitely wasn’t her first time passing through.

“You’ve been here before, haven’t you?”

“Yes, well... in some vein. I know of it. Ran past most of it.“

It seemed like a stupid realization but as she spoke, it hit me that I didn’t know anything about her. Sure, she lost her memory apparently but where did she come from? She seemed to be expecting us but I didn’t know why... or how, for that matter. Apparently Kuma and maybe Yuunagi had talked to her about it but I was as clueless as ever.

“Where’d you come from, anyway?“

“Oh dear... did your parents never give you the talk? Well--”

“Not that. Try again.”

She thinks for a bit before giving it another go.

“I’m a pure-blooded Japanese maiden.”

Why is this so hard?

“Are you seriously that stupid?”

She huffs.

“If you don’t like my answers, refine your questions.”

I sighed and tried to put this in the simplest terms I could.

“Where have you been all this time? Nobody ever saw you yet you were actin’ all high and mighty ‘bout us being late and all that. Means you were expecting us, right?“

“As I told your friend in the white coat, I was here! Somewhere.“

“‘Somewhere’.”

"Believe it or not I know how it sounds! Hmph.“

“The room I was in was pitch black. As for why I was there, I can’t remember. Obviously. It took me longer than I’d liked to admit to even find my way out. But it fell naturally, like most obstacles, to my natural grace and acumen.”

“Oh, your ‘natural grace’, huh?“

“Jealous?“

“Oh, I’m something alright.”

Skeptical. I’m skeptical.

“I vaguely toured the area. But I didnt stay in anywhere for too long. Everything was so grand and exact, it all began looking the same after a while. Truly a dull affair. Finally, I found that room of computers and I saw all of you! You were supposed to come find me but you never did! I even saw you use that elevator! ... Eventually I was able to use the one on my end and made sure to give you a piece of my mind when I saw you return. Is that specific enough for you?“

“Hmmm. I mean, specific’s a little...“

She whirled around on her heel to glare at me.

“You take your doubtful tone and you swallow it down you boorish beetroot!”

“I wasn’t doubting you! Geez... you get so wound up over nothing...”

Chiffon didn’t speak much after that but I could tell she was kinda sulking. I mean, she didn’t make it subtle. She steps away so we stop taking our break and move again. I paused and did something even I couldn’t believe. I thought about things in her shoes. I thought to myself, ‘what would Anzai do at a time like this’ and I kinda came to that conclusion. And when I did that, I couldn’t help but feel a little bad for her. I mean, I don’t even know what I’d do in that kinda situation. You wake up alone and can’t even remember your name... you’re all alone in a place like this with no one to talk to. Then you see a bunch of people and you can’t reach them at all... yikes.

You know, all things considered, I’m kinda surprised she’s been this easy to talk to. I let her take the lead while I’m thinking but she stares down at me with some suspicion from the stairs. Whether she’s waiting for me to catch up or wants to start something, I have no idea.

“What are you up to?“

“Nothing, just... sorry. Sorry we left you alone.”

“... Oh, that’s disgusting.”

"I’m SORRY? I was trying to--”

“Only a man of true low stature wastes time with words like that. If you have energy to waste apologizing, keep moving! I’m shocked you thought I was such a petty person, to hold such a grudge! I’m not so lowly I’d think like that. If you don’t like what you did, fix it next time. It’s as simple as that.”

Ugh, she makes it so hard to be nice to her... but at least she’s back in high spirits. She seems pretty simple, if nothing else. That makes dealing with her easy. And it means she’s not as much of a threat... seems that way, anyway. After what I saw... after what we went through... that’s kind of a relief. And I suppose... in a way, she has a point. At the very least, she’s speaking a language I get.

Wait, I hope that doesn’t mean I’m simple.

I take back the lead and I manage to get my hand to the pool’s door before Chiffon. That petty victory makes me happy. It’ll be nice to see the area - it’ll be a change of pace. At least, that’s my hope.

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

{.The Morning After Remains the Worst.}

There’s a weight on my chest and a tossing and turning that remains. The more I try to ignore it, the heavier I feel. There’s this scratchy feeling in my throat and suddenly... suddenly...

I just can’t breathe.

My hands shoot up for something, someone. Never been a person who needed or even wanted help but at a time like this I realize how messed up it is to be alone. My head is submerged. A salty taste. Water. Falling... darkness.

“Ugh... gh...”

I can’t remember sitting up but I’m clearly up now. My hand’s all clasped around my shirt and I’m desperately, desperately trying to find a way to breathe. You can just... stop breathing when you’re asleep like that? Damn, that’s... that’s something, alright.

Images of what happened yesterday roll through my mind... seems like the film was even going while I was asleep. I imagined Hanji’s execution so much I felt like I was in it.

Still, to get betrayed like that. And... to die like that. All of them... geez.

I run my hands through my hair and just look down at the floor as if there’s a clue in the dust that’s amassing. My breathing’s still coming out funny and it’s hard to move. The burning in my chest is proof enough all this crap is real and it’s a little hard to deal with that. Her face comes to mind.

Anzai. Anzai. Anzai.

Satoko.

Her, especially. Why did she die like that? She was... she’d been such a good person. Someone I actually...

Whatever. It doesn’t matter... I can’t change it. And I’m awake now. The gasping’s stopped. I’m alive. Maybe I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but I don’t really see the point in barricading myself in here. That kinda spoiled self-pity... I don’t see the use. Even if I sulked in here all day, they’d still be dead. The accusations thrown about have been thrown about already. And the bad vibes’d still be here, I’d just be slapping my hands over my ears.

Besides, given that stuffed fat idiot’s got that ‘gotta eat together’ rule and stuff doubt I’d be able to get away with just hiding anyway.

It took more effort than I thought it would to get myself up and off the bed. My breathing was okay but that rock in my chest had found its home and had no intention of leaving, I guess. I think I’m moving normally but every gesture feels laboured. Whatever. As long as I’m moving. Getting somewhere. As I’m going downstairs, I cast a look over to where the lounge is. Daisy... is she still... gonna be there? I feel my eyes burn a little and I shake it off, continuing my journey down to the kitchen.

There was a rule about eating together but... what about Anzai? Would she still be...?

Damn it, every time I closed my eyes I saw her there. I didn’t... even really know them well. I’m not sure I wanted to. I know I’m not the friendliest guy but still... dying among strangers like that... dying alone... it’s messed up. I blank every time I think about it.

I arrive at the dining room quicker than I thought and my head snaps up when I realize I must’ve auto-piloted myself there. Seems like I’m not the last one here; there’s no sign of Yuunagi, Nagase, Manabu, Mikiro or Rie.

... Nor that other girl, if I didn’t just hallucinate her.

“Sh...zu... mizu-dono!“

Whoa. Did I just zone out again? God, I need to get a hold of myself.

“Sorry, I was... elsewhere. What?”

Buki looked at me with a kind of firm severity I wouldn’t have thought. She gesures to a chair. Everyone around the table, aside from a couple of people looked some form of dead inside.

“Sit!”

“Huh?”

“Sit, Shimizu-dono! You will have no energy if you do not consume your nutrients!”

Is she... talking about food?

“You might as well just give in. She’s not going to take no for an answer.“

Kumatani looks... pensive, I guess. Patchnuki probably had a point earlier; it’s pretty messed up to think about but... the guy... he’s no stranger to murder. I can’t imagine it gets any easier though. Since there’s an empty seat by him, I decide to take it. Somehow he feels... more grounded than the rest. I dunno. He gives me a smile and ruffles my hair.

This... must be a habit of his, huh.

“I think this is her way of dealing with things. She woke up very early... been in the kitchen ever since. When you’re busy, you don’t have the time to think about things as much.“

Yeah, this is definitely weighing on him. But he’s putting on a brave face.

“But... I still can’t believe it...”

“Kuma-nii... is this going to happen again?”

“It won’t!”

I did think he’d been a bit quiet. His body language was tense but his face... I dunno, he seemed determined.

“What happened to Anzai-kun and even Wakatsuki-kun was a tragedy. But it won’t be repeated. With togetherness, nothing will hurt us!“

His voice got more and more inspired towards the end but somehow I doubt anyone was convinced. I knew I wasn’t. The sloppy way we handled the case in general was still nagging at me. I wonder how much we missed, how much more we should’ve asked Hanji before...

“S-so-so Hanji-san d-d-de-deserved to d-d-die?“

“... I don’t mean it like that. Obviously! But... if you commit a crime... if you do that sort of heinous thing then...“

“Then you deserve death. That’s what you’re saying. Don’t beat around the bush: anyone you disagree with deserves what they get, right? ‘Cause they’re not forthcoming, ‘cause they’re not as lily-white as you’d like. If you had your way, I might be dead right now. You ever think about that? What could’ve happened if you voted wrong?”

Ogawa probably didn’t even want to be here given the look on her face. Seiyama edged closer to Kumatani. He did look kinda... off. With a clatter of cutlery, Shiratori gets to his feet and jabs a finger in the snowboarder’s direction.

“Listen here! You, at any point, could’ve made this simple! You lied, misled us, derailed the investigation and almost let the killer get away. All for your own self-satisfaction! I apologized for the accusation already and yes, I may have been hasty, but take responsibility for your own actions!”

“Can we... not fight right now?”

“Y-y-yeah... c-c-come on...”

“Ha! That’s rich! What apology? Did you fabricate that, too? Just admit you don’t care. All that matters is you and YOUR sense of justice! You wanna talk about self-satisfaction? Why not look in the mirror?“

“You two, that’s enough! Is this really the time? I understand everyone’s stressed but tearing into each other like this won’t help anybody.”

“So what’s your suggestion then, big man? It’s real easy to say ‘this won’t help’ but you don’t have the first idea what will! Stop forcing your dumb ‘friendship is everything’ crap on me. I don’t want to work with you-- any of you! You’re all capable of anything. And if you get in my way, I WILL kill you.”

"This isn’t on me! You hear this? She’s impossible! I’m writing that up as intent.”

“You can write a--”

“I SAID ENOUGH.“

The big guy rose to his feet and glared down at the pair of them. He was probably the biggest guy here though Rie might be a close second. With her absent though, there was no one to challenge his mass or height which he deliberately showed off. Once he was satisfied with the silence, he sat back down and offered Seiyama a pat on the head.

“Honestly... this situation is bad enough without the two of you going at it. Is this really what you want to do with your time?“

Ogawa’s silence speaks volumes. Everything from her scowl to her folded arms screams ‘don’t talk to me ever again’. On the other hand, Shiratori seems... surprisingly aware and he bows his head.

“You are... quite right, I suppose, Kumatani-kun. Causing a scene first thing in the morning is... there’s no excuse. I’ll reflect on it.“

Ugh, the quiet that stretched out after that was killing me. All this negativity was making the food taste crappy. Hell, I could barely finish some of it despite it being pretty good. Something was blocking it... felt like a fish bone or something in my throat. The clinking of utensils and plates was beginning to grate on my frayed nerves.

“I kinda... hesitate to ask, but... since we’re all here... what... about Anzai... she...”

There was really no easy way to ask what happened to her body. I was as vague as I could be without saying ‘hey, where’s the corpse’. Hopefully that was enough of a queue.

“... It was gone. Ranger-chan’s, too. Not just the... bodies. The whole area was cleaned. Like it never even happened.“

“B... but--but... it d-did. It d-d-did happen.”

“... Yeah, it did...”

And there’s the silence again. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked but not knowing would’ve killed me.

As my head falls further into my clenched hands, the door swings open and we’re greeted to the confident gait of that weirdo from yesterday, with Yuunagi and Nagase trailing behind.

“I’ve arrived!“

Why is she so goddamn chipper?

I decided to be a little petty and turned away from her and the door to talk to Kumatani again.

“Did you ever find out anything about that?“

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey you! I’m not that!”

“Someone who cannot vouch for their own identity has no right to speak on the matter.”

Oh, that was unexpected. The girl simmered and flounced into a chair, her arms crossed. Yuunagi and Nagase followed suit, both looking as if they’d seen better days.

“Sorry, Shimizu-kun. She... really doesn’t seem to remember anything about herself so I couldn’t find out much. I had her stay the night with Maki-chan and Nagase-chan... she might be suspicious but there’s no reason to treat her like a criminal without just cause. She doesn’t have an ID like us so she can’t get into the rooms, I just figured... well, if nothing else, better we keep an eye on her than not.“

I nodded but the person in question sniffed indignantly.

“You’re all talking like I’m not here! It’s rude, I say, rude! Jealousy? Is it jealousy? I can’t help that I’m of a higher class! No more than the... than cheesecake can help being delicious!“

Maybe on a good day I’d be able to banter with her but y’know, after Hanji and everything... I just find it impossible to indulge. Yuunagi glances up over at me and tries on a weak smile.

“She’s been like this all night.”

“I’m so sorry.”

It seemed like this kid was going to be a mystery for a while. The rules of this house didn’t apparently apply to this girl but whether that was a boon or not, hell, I had no clue.

In between dull silence was Chiffon’s voice, chattering away, and Shiratori’s, barking out this plan and idea or that one. Honestly I tuned them both out. I was being a jerk, I know, but I really didn’t care. Maybe later. Maybe tomorrow I’d be okay.

The remaining people took their time to arrive but well, everyone came in the end. I eyed the seat Anzai was in before and sighed deeply. She was gone. Daisy was gone. And Hanji was gone, even if Chiffon had taken his chair. I wasn’t sure how to feel about any of them. I don’t know, even if I didn’t like them or know them as people something felt off with them gone. And I had no idea how to replace it.

Buki just kept pouring on more and more food. I didn’t really see her eat anything herself, though. Understandable, I guess, but with her looking as shaky as she did that seemed pretty dumb. ‘Everyone copes in their own way’ so says Kumatani but I’m not sure I’m coping much at all. As soon as people can leave, they do, really, with Ogawa and Nagase being the first ones to scuttle elsewhere. Poor Nagase had barely said a word before she’d left.

“I don’t understand those people... now more than ever, we should be united, should we not?! Am I wrong?”

“N-n-no! I th-th-think think you’re right...“

“Right... and yet something is missing! Nobody’s listening! What exactly am I doing wrong here?!”

“... Nadeshiko-chan said it before, right? ‘You should take care in how you appear to others. One cannot trust a man who enforces without consent‘... that’s how it went, right? If all you do is bully people, nobody’s going to want to be around you.”

“Who’s a bully?! I’m against bullying! I... l-look, listen! We all have those secrets still, the weapons, the hidden pieces of evidence. We can wrap up this whole situation if we just share it all. Once it’s out in the open, we can calmly go through the evidence, find the culprit and be done with all this!“

“You have made so many baseless assumptions I legitimately do not know where to start.“

“I admit it’s not ideal but we have to begin somewhere! We start by suspecting everything, everyone. And then, one by one, we remove those doubts! If we could just work together, be honest...!”

“What if that just drives an even bigger wedge between us?“

“I want to get along, but how am I supposed to know I can do that? Sometimes the more you know about someone, the more you hate them. Maybe Tanuki-chama’s counting on that.“

“B-but maybe...”

“Maybe this, could be that. At the end of the day, that’s where we’re stuck at, right? Any decision’s risky. Somehow pretending your way’s the best way’s just going to make you seem more annoying.”

“I think... the best course of action for us all is to let things be. I doubt anyone’s particularly bloodthirsty about now. We’ve seen what can happen. Forcing people who don’t want to be here to talk it out is just going to stoke the flames. People need some time to think this over. Maybe we can talk about it later... but right now... the timing’s just bad. You get that, right?“

Shiratori looks like he does but he also kinda looks like he hates that he does.

“I’m... I’m going to make a plan! I’ll expect you all to read it thoroughly!“

Ah, he didn’t listen. He didn’t listen at all.

He clattered out of the room like a bull on a mission. Those that remained kinda drifted this way and that, with Kumatani making sure to keep an eye on Chiffon. I’d zoned out so much I missed most everyone leaving and found myself the last one there. With a huge sigh, I lean back in my chair and stare up at the ceiling. This fancy house with nobody in it... and now with no real owner to boot, I guess. Hanji murdered his parents, that’s what he said, right? That... that scared the hell out of me. How many times had I had those thoughts? I convinced myself they were just thoughts... they’d never leak out so I’d never hurt anyone. But if an upright guy like that can do it, why not an idiot like me?

I clenched my eyes shut. A knee-jerk reaction to the bad thought I guess. But shutting your eyes doesn’t shield you much from your own head.

It’s possible I’ll mess up. That’s so scary.

I know I’m a screw-up, too. Never had much direction or plans or anything but... I don’t want to die, I’m not ready for that. I’m not ready to take responsibility for anyone else’s life, either. Can I be sure it’ll always be like?

Whatever. Whenever I’m alone I end up thinking about this sorta stuff. No... whenever I’m not busy. I gotta find something to do, someone to talk to.

I’ve got to stop thinking about this.

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

{.Contemplation.}

A low humming made me vaguely aware of where I was. I snapped out of my stupor soon after. The elevator continued a gentle descent. I did, too, sinking from standing to sitting in a few seconds. Everything after the murder seemed inconsequential but I mentally smacked myself for being so lax. If I didn’t focus, everything I’d checked out and everything I’d heard would just become a blur. I took the moment to just ease up; remember what I could, and think on it for a few seconds.

Think... commit to memory and... try and find a solution.

I’d never been the detective type - hell, I’d hardly touched a book but if there was ever a time to start, I figured this’d be it.

So... the structure of this building... was more complicated than I thought. That’s the initial take away, I guess. It was like two buildings combined into one. I wondered if there was a name for that. The whole thing was a part of the same structure. I’d seen it from the outside, after all. But I didn’t realize parts would connect like this.

The elevator that took us down to that trial room also took us down to some other floor. A little higher than the trial room, I think. And that opened up to a corridor that led to the right... to this other structure. Other part of the building. Common theory is that this is where we did a bunch of work. Outside of the classroom, I guess. Since it was designed as a free school, I suppose whenever anyone wanted to train in the arts or get some exercise they came over here.

Let’s see...

The clinic was one of the first places I checked. Pretty standard, but if Kumatani’s warning’s anything to go by, there’s some stuff in there that shouldn’t be messed with. Maybe he’s being cautious - doesn’t want people mixing the wrong stuff together. Or maybe it’s something more obvious, like poison or something. Either way, I might check it out later. He expressly doesn’t want me to and... it kinda sucks to potentially disappoint him. I mean, I’m not a fan of how, like... adult he is, sometimes. Like he’s better than us and more mature or something. But he’s not a bad person and he’s helped a lot, too. It’s a weird thing, I guess.

We’ll see.

The swimming pool and gym seemed kinda standard although there were some rooms and cupboards I didn’t check out. Tiny things, really, but hey, maybe there’d be something of note there. Something I missed. Every time I consider I’ve missed something I feel sick to my stomach. Like, if I miss even just a little thing, maybe it’ll cost me big time. It’s not like me to be so paranoid. I guess I’m used to worrying but the consequences just... didn’t matter at the time. So it was just easy to move on with it.

But this isn’t normal. And I have to keep telling myself it’s real. If I forget what happened or blank on details, it might cost me my life.

Details... yeah, what else was there?

Sound-proofed rooms... if I’m right, two of them. The music room was definitely sound-proofed. And given the racket Chiffon made and the lack of reaction we got... I think... the AV Room’s probably also soundproof. Just like the rooms we stay at. Maybe it’s a good idea to peek inside those rooms every now and again, just to be sure. The idea of someone screaming and no one hearing... that kinda freaks me out.

Speaking of the AV Room... there was a lot to process there, huh.

Shiratori’s apparently gonna keep an eye on us all. It’s a stupid, stupid, bad idea but that’s nothing new for him. I’m hoping someone that isn’t me provides a better argument than I would. But it’s a really bad move. Nobody likes feeling like they’re being watched all the time. Nobody likes that, but... they especially don’t like it if they know it’s happening.

My eyes move across the elevator as it dings and I pass through the corridor. I keep searching for those cameras. I wonder if I’m looking right into the eyes of someone else far away when I see one. The grand hall feels grander when I step into it - probably because no one else is there. I remember Patchnuki falling down and... all of those voices back then. It’d been a few days ago, but somehow the way I was remembering it, felt like a lifetime ago.

Sure enough, I think there were cameras. They were just hard to see. Kasahara’s theory was that... we were being watched, even now, by those cameras. Because there were cameras in that very AV Room. If I analyzed it, I think... without all the murder and all that... maybe that made sense. Because, the students were supposed to be using a bunch of these rooms, right? Still, why were all these computers and monitors in the AV Room? Were students supposed to be using those?

I felt the more I thought about it, the more my brain hurt. I just couldn’t figure it out.

‘There wasn’t just one mastermind’. I ran those words through my head. The first motive had provided us clues. That meant we were being toyed with, for whatever reason. Rather than being pissed about it, I was more pissed at myself for not being able to figure it out. And Anzai’s clue matched with mine. Not only were multiple people in on this, they were among us. That meant you could throw out a common enemy.

There was a lot to chew on and a lot I still didn’t understand. Chiffon had brought more questions than answers. We still didn’t even know where she came from. Maybe she was just being dumb about it, but I kinda believed her - that she really couldn’t find the place she woke up. It made me think about our memory loss, too. If... we did somehow contribute to this... mastermind this as a group... did we even remember doing that?

We’d probablt lost months of our lives here. Maybe even years. I had no way of knowing. I found myself mulling over Yuunagi’s words, too. Is it possible we’d lost little moment of happiness?

Was there a time when we were all happier and better off as people?

Even Hanji? Wakatsuki?

Something buzzed in my brain. A face. Daisy’s? ... I wasn’t sure. I was tired and my leg hurt and honestly I was done with the day. I wasn’t sure how many hours had passed even in this day. I should watch out for that, I guess. Time is... more important than I thought. If I’ve already lost a whole bunch of time, I should make sure the time I have now counts. Maybe I’ll alllow myself to think a bunch today. That’s fine. I’ll just make sure I bounce back and do something worthwhile tomorrow. That’s a fair trade-off... should be, anyway.

Rather than hang around in the house, I thought I’d get some fresh air and I pushed the doors open. It was funny; you could go outside like this but you sill felt trapped. But the fresh air did help. I passed look over to the bunker we all woke up in. Right before I woke up, I thought I remembered Hanji pushing me... given what he said, maybe I hadn’t just dreamed that. Well. I’d thought enough for one day. I opted to just enjoy what I could of the day so I could prepare for tomorrow.

Something disturbed that, though, or someone... someone who grabbed my arm. They must’ve been real quiet, I almost didn’t notice them.

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

{.To Feel Real.}

The door shut with a snap when Chiffon left but as soon as I followed her out I didn’t detect any real grumpiness. Well, I mean, nothing out of the ordinary, anyway. It was weird to consider that: ordinary.

There was nothing ordinary about Chiffon, really. Her appearance, her memory loss... hell, even her actions were a little out there. But the way she spoke, it was pretty... direct. And simple. That made figuring her out a little easier, at least. I thought so, anyway.

Still, she had to reign it in at least a little. There was direct and then there was just asshole. It was a fine line I had to try and walk myself.

“What’s with you, mouthing off like that?“

Chiffon didn’t even look my way but she didn’t seem upset; just... pensive, I guess. Being ignored still irks me, though.

“Hey. Don’t blank me.”

She pauses, takes a deep breath and...

Let out a huge scream. No, more of a shout. But more than that, what the hell?! Just when I thought she was easy to figure out she pulled something like this. I was too surprised to really react until she was finished.

“What the... HELL... is your problem?”

I was wincing plenty at her racket but I really shriveled at the thought of that AV Room door snapping open and either seeing an enraged Kasahara or Shiratori. To my surprise, that door never opened, though. I definitely thought I heard something from the Arts Room though. Poor Nagase probably never saw that coming.

Chiffon just stared at me, as if that never even happened, meeting my eyes with a calm I wouldn’t expect. I mean, I probably looked pretty furious right now.

“I wanted...”

“To hear my voice echo.”

I was completely at a loss.

“Are you serious? Is this seriously happening?”

“That’s what I want to know! I have to do these things, you know. I need proof that I’m here! And that you’re not all just robots sent here to terrorize the last human or something.”

I heard a door from way down the hall open; given the rooms available, I was guessing it was the clinic. No need to pay it too much attention.

“If you’re the last human, maybe we’re better off with the drones.“

“Sounds exactly like what a robot would say...”

A loud cough interrupted us and I cast my eyes to the approaching figure of Kumatani. Ah, well... yeah. Okay, it made sense the clinic wasn’t soundproofed and this little idiot had just screamed her head off. He gave us both disapproving looks; you could feel the scolding before any words even exited his mouth.

“Look, I’m all for people taking their minds off of things, but... please be a little more mindful about what you do and where. What if someone thought the worst? You could give someone a heart attack. That’s no joke.“

“Mindful of what? It’s not a library.”

The poor guy looks like he’s really trying to phrase this delicately.

“Yes, well... there’s been a recent incident and people are on edge. Furthermore, I have a patient. So, please.”

“... Incident... huh?“

“You mean the murder. You don’t need to worry about that. If anyone here wants to kill anyone else, it won’t be because I shouted.”

The heaviest sigh I’ve probably ever heard exits Kumatani’s mouth ahd he smothers his stressed face in a hand.

“Can I count on you to handle this, Shimizu-kun? I can’t leave the room unattended for too long.“

“Oh. Uh, yeah, sure.”

He gives me a nod and then trudges back. I hadn’t paid it much attention before but he looked really tired. Everything had just happened all at once and now on top of that he was looking after someone. Yeah, I guess... that wasn’t easy.

“What’s he mean ‘handle this’? Like I’m a parcel.“

“Nah, you’re decidedly worse than a parcel. Last time I checked, those don’t just break out into screamo arias when they feel like it.“

“An aria, you say...“

She’s stroking her chin and suddenly I know exactly where this is going.

“Don’t! No! No opera crap in the damn passage, geez. Are you crazy?”

“I don’t know! Am I? I mean, shouldn’t I have woken up already if this a dream? I don’t think dreams are supposed to last this long but... there are those stories of people who visualize a whole life and then wake up so...“

Despite her words, I’m not sure Chiffon’s doubting this is really happening. I guess, in a way... in her way, she’s blowing off steam. Complaining and trying to find a reason for this. Unfortunately, I didn’t have that reason for her; not  sure any of us did.

“If you were really dreaming you would’ve woken up by now. How many times have I yanked your face now? ... Want me to try it again?“

“Bully! Go away!”

She scuttles away and strikes a pose as if she’s hiding herself. Hopefully she knows she’s in plain view.

“I know it’s reality, stupid! But it’s weird, weird, weird! Amnesia’s not something that’s supposed to happen in REAL life! It’s that quaint thing in fiction! That irritating trope you scoff at when you see it on TV... I remember TV, you know! And walking! I just can’t remember anything about me! It’s an affront!“

“I thought if I walked around with you, something would just click or something... but there’s nothing. Nada, zilcho, nothing!“

“... And you still don’t even know where you were when you woke up, huh?”

“Not that it’d help! If I was going to get some special memory flash it would’ve happened already, right? Like, if I look into your eyes, I should remember your stupid face, right?”

As if to prove her point, she stares at me. Normally I’d just look away but I felt like competing with her and glared her down. Well, glared until she huffed and turned away, anyway.

“But I’m blank. Blank as a piece of paper. It’s clear I’m here for a reason, but I’m... I’m impatient! I can’t wait for the important reveals, I want to know who I am now!“

I was in a weird place of understanding her and not, all at once. She hadn’t been a part of this game at first. That’s how it seemed to me. But now she’d been dropped in and she remembered even less than we did.

Still, I kinda wanted to know where she got all that confidence from. If it were me, I’m not sure I’d think of myself as someone so special.

“This... ‘amnesia’, I guess... who knows how it works? I mean, all of us got it so it’s some artificial thing, right? So who knows what triggers what? Haven’t been thinking about it much but it’s fine enough to just go with the flow for now. I mean, we have bigger things to worry about anyway.“

“I never said it was a big deal! It’s just annoying. I’ll be whoever I was in time anyway so it’s not like it matters.”

She quite literally hand-waves it away.

“But it’s not fair that you’re Kaede and I’m Chi... Shi... Shinigami.”

“Don’t think you have to worry about that one being your name.“

I didn’t really have words of consolation; for her or for anyone else. The more problems hit me, the more tempted I became to shrug them off. But I had to try something. If I let myself ignore these things I had a feeling they’d be back to bite me later.

“It’s only been one day. And there’s been a ton of excitement. Maybe you got distracted. Just wander for a bit and see what that does. I mean, maybe you’ll remember stuff when you’re not trying to, you see? Like... unconscious stuff.“

She stared, and then...

“You want me to knock myself out?”

“No, I do not.”

“Haha! I’m not that stupid, stupid Kaede! I know what you’re saying. It can’t be that great of an idea if I didn’t come up with but I guess it’s worth a try. I mean, if nothing else.“

Chiffon’s become so idiotically pathetic that I’m finding my strength leaving me. She leaves so many openings for so many barbs that I’m just overwhelmed and come away feeling bad for her.

“Yep. You’re a genius. Good for you.“

“Hmhm! It IS good, isn’t it? ... Although... hm... what now...? That’s the whole floor, isn’t it?”

I didn’t need to check my ID; I’d seen it quite a few times now and I could confirm there wasn’t any other rooms to check out.

“Seems like. Unless there’s some hidden door I missed.“

“Ooh, a hidden door! Well. You definitely missed that, but it’s fine. We’ll find it later.”

I don’t have the energy to play along. For a while now some stinging pain’s been giving me grief. I’d been ignoring it up until now but it turns out I hadn’t come out as unscathed as I thought from falling down those basement stairs. Hopefully it was just a temporary bruise or something. It was taking up my attention every now and again, though.

“So... what’s the plan now? I guess there’s enough books and stuff if you like that kinda thing, but...“

It wasn’t really the time or the place. Maybe for her it was different though, who could say?

“I have no idea! But that’s fine. I’m sure I’ll work it out walking around. That’s how you get good ideas, right? By not thinking of them! Be-si-des, I have to find a place to stay...“

“Huh...? Wait, weren’t you staying with Yuunagi?“

“You’re so... you’re so... vulgar! My god! You think I’ll impose for that long? That’s so disgraceful!“

“Unless I missed something, you don’t have a room. Or an ID.”

“Bah! It’s not like it has to have my nameplate! I’ll find some other bed! Or couch! Or... table! I’ll sleep in a coffin before I overstay a welcome!“

“Hey, don’t go around saying something so ominous...“

“A place just for me... I could convert any old room into a glamorous bedroom... aha! Aha-ha! Admit it! The Break Room would be perfect, wouldn’t it? It’s where the important people probably used to take it easy and there are a ton of sofas.“

Shit. God, that’s where they wanna set up their party... anywhere but there. I need to re-direct her attention, but where...? I wasn’t picky about where I slept but that didn’t mean she wasn’t.

Quick... god, I gotta say something!

“That room sucks. I mean. It’s connected to that creepy basement.“

“Aww! Are you being concerned about me? I’m not afraid of ghosts or anything like that. Having such a cute weakness is worthless to me!”

“Who said anything about ghosts? There could be rats down there. They could fight you for scraps and stuff.”

That. Sounded so stupid. I wasn’t going to go the afraid of rats angle but this... this was no real substitute.

“... Hm... I don’t want to waste my energy fighting rats...“

Wait, that worked?

“There’s, uh. There’s a lounge in the other building, y’know. You probably still haven’t checked through it much.”

Ahh! Ahhhgh!

What am I saying? That’s even worse! Someone died there!

“Or... y’know... a library. I thought I saw some sofas there.”

I was sure I’d told good lies before; it was only in this moment I was feeling any semblance of intelligence leak out of a crack in my head. Chiffon surveyed me with some suspicion. Yeah, she probably had to be onto me now.

“... Hm. Alright, I understand. You’re saying I shouldn’t settle! The more I think about it, the more foolish I was! Why settle for the first nice room you see when there are bigger and brighter horizons! Right then! A new adventure calls.“

She points her finger at me and I felt so lucky she was this dumb.

... Though after the crap I just said, I wasn’t sure I was one to talk.

“I’m recruiting you as my vassal! Keep your eyes peeled for good rooms and furnishings. I’ll need them.”

Why is everyone in this house recruiting me? Go recruit someone else.

But, whatever, this was easier than risking her ruining the surprise. And my mood was acting up; turns out this stupid leg was hurting more than I thought and I really just wanted to take a break now.

“Yeah, yeah, princess.“

“Princess... good, good! You’re already getting the hang of it! I suppose... I should let you go for now.I don’t want you shadowing my every move after all. So go forth! Go... go do cool things in my name!“

She threw a finger my face before trotting off, looking behind every now and again as if to make sure I’d really go and do those ‘cool things’. I had no intention of it. Though I honestly didn’t know what she meant, anyway. Now that I was alone again, I felt a million thoughts attack me at once.

It was... weird, having this free time, this free space. I felt like there were a million things I wanted to do and say. And yet, I didn’t have a desire to do anything. Like it’d just be easier to sit right here and watch as the hours passed. Between wanting to, needing to and fighting every impulse I had of doing anything at all... it was pretty weird.

The only thing I could compare it to was as if... I was stuck in some crane game. Being yanked one way, being bogged down under everything else. It helped more than I thought having Chiffon around. If nothing else, she was a distraction. And when I was doing pointless crap, I was somehow able to forget everything that happened. I could almost write it off as a joke, as sick as it sounds. But... it was a pill. And after a couple of hours, I found I was the same as always. Weighed down by the same paranoid and pressure I’d been the second I’d seen Anzai’s cold, dead corpse.

My feet began moving, taking me in a direction even I wasn’t sure of yet. But moving... I guess that, as simple as it was, made me feel a little better.

I was alive.

I could feel that.

Maybe that was enough for now.

[Next] >> [Previous]

[cc-hatredisland]

Exploration {.Cellar.}

As I toured the Break Room, I couldn’t help but be a little amazed by the size of it all. There were at least four round tables and matching fold-up chairs for each one... and a stack of unused chairs on top of that, should they be needed. The huge sofa, the TV, the vending machines... even a counter with a microwave and coffee-maker. And then... there was something else. A kinda drab door by itself.

“Where’s this lead?”

"O-oh t-th-that. D-do-down th-there’s a k-k-kinda basement I g-g-guess... or cellar. Th-the door’s a little j-ja-jammed so you have t-t-to b-be pa-patient. Th-there’s a ca-ca-card co-coupon me and Ma-Maki-san have b-b-been using t-t-to open it. If you sl-sllide it be-between the frame th-the d-door should ki-ki-kinda cl-cl-cli-click itself open.”

“I see...”

Sure enough, there’s an orange card with some shopping site’s logo on it. I swipe it up and then shove it roughly between the door and frame. I’m not sure what’s blocking it or why this works but as I get close to the handle, it seems to loosen up and allows me to push it open. Chiffon gives me a little applause which, I’ll admit... does... kinda make me feel a little good. But as soon as I take a step, I almost take a tumble.

... Well there goes all that confidence I was building.

“Oh, Kae-kun, you’ll wanna be careful. Those stairs are pretty old and it’s super dark down there. It’s real easy to fall. We lit the candles down there but it’s still pretty hard to see.”

She had said, as I just narrowly avoided falling the whole way down.

“Y... yeah. Got it.“

I tried to sound as dismissive as I could.

“Well? Hurry up then. I wanna see what’s down there.”

“I doubt it’s all that interesting.”

But I was curious too. There was something about attics and cellars that brought out this wonder in me. Like I’d find something real old and super special. Not that I had much experience with it. Hey, maybe I was just more imaginative than I thought.

The stairs made my heart jump all over the place. They didn’t even creak when you stepped on them; they had this damp quality to them and it made me feel like they’d just crumble any second now. And yet, somehow they’re holding up. The smell in here was awful too, like it got flooded and the wood all died or something. I only counted about six steps but each one was a new surprise; some kinda uneven or generally out of place. It made me real careful about where I stood. I was really glad there was some kinda light to guide me down here.

Well, I was glad.

I’d been walking down the stairs pretty okay but everything became a whirl of details out of nowhere and suddenly my head was buzzing. It took me a couple of seconds to realize I’d fallen and hit my head but I couldn’t think of when or how. And that’s when it became obvious to me.

There was a weight on me.

“Owww! Ouch! T-these stairs are a hazard.”

“YOU’RE a hazard! I was doin’ just fine before your clumsy ass followed.“

“Clumsy?! Who?“

“Who else, idiot? Get off me.”

I didn’t even let her try. I kinda just shoved her and got to my feet. If she was hardy enough to run her mouth, she was fine.

“You animal! If that’s how you treat a lady, no wonder you’re such a loser. Lonesome cup noodle. Jerk.”

I cast my attention behind me and she made a comical defensive pose, like a middle-aged man insisting he could do karate.

“You wanna whap me? Huh? Well this time I’m prepared. Go on! Do your worst! I’m ready!”

There was no doubt in mind I could break through her defenses but I was honestly too tired to keep up with her. I must’ve really botched my landing cause my knee was feeling real tender. There was no way I was gonna bring that up, though.

I could see now there were several glass lanterns hanging, with a little candle in each. They helped illuminate some of the room but it was still pretty damn gloomy in here. The room didn’t seem all that big but it was hard to tell in the darkness. I tilted my head back.

“You’re not scared?”

“You think so very highly of yourself.”

“Of the dark.“

Her pose relaxed a little.

“Oh. Well! Be more clear next time! Is there a reason I should be scared?“

I shrug. I actually have no idea. I’m not fond of the dark cause it makes it easier for people to sneak up on you. But it’s not like I’m afraid. I guess I just assumed she’d find it unpleasant.

“If you’re insinuating ghosts and the like... well, why should I care? If they bother me, I’ll bother them right back!"

Part of me had to admire that can-do spirit.

“This is an awful room, though. You oughta be wary or someone else’ll die here.”

“... Someone else?”

“Yes? You forgot Kimono-san and Miss Cowboy so soon? Shame!“

Something clicked in my head. How did she know that?

Wait. The monitors Hanji was talking about. The monitors SHE talked about. Could it be...?

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold up, wait! You... you! Saw everything that happened...?”

I could hardly believe it.

“Of course I did! ... Ma... maybe not everything but I saw enough. You act as if I wanted to see all that.”

“I see... so you saw...”

“... They talked so normally before it happened. She gave Kimono-san some present. It... seemed so normal. I kept wondering what they were saying.“

“After I saw her wrap that thing around her neck... you know... I... it was beastly! Alright? I don’t have to justify it. Of course I didn’t watch after that.”

She folded her arms and huffed.

We still really didn’t know much about that case, I felt. Nagase had saved us but I felt the whole thing felt... unfinished somehow. And it bothered me. Bothered me more than I realized. Every part of me wanted to pick Chiffon’s brain about it but I doubt she knew anything useful. Anything more, anyway.

I think this was already something and I kinda had to wonder who else knew. Still... watching a murder just... play out like that. Unable to do anything. I can’t imagine it. That seemed liked torture. I kept feeling like Chiffon must’ve been through more than I thought. She’d gone silent and I didn’t feel like angling for more so I turned away from her and the subject.

There was more to check out so I examined the room a bit more. There were towering cabinets filled to the brim with old journals, I assumed and a lot of craft supplies like cans and paints and stuff. There were several large boxes filled with glasses and bottles and stuff. A lot of food supplies and... ugh... that smell was all too familiar. The whole cellar had this musty stench about it but the closer I walked to those boxes, the more I could smell the alcohol.

Haha. Just like home.

Great... great. Hopefully nobody would touch these stupid crates. I kicked one back out of habit but it barely moved. Seemed like they were still full and ready to be consumed.

“Is that... are those... fizzy drinks?“

They definitely weren’t.

“That’s obscene! You know that stuff rots your teeth, right? It’s just stuff they sell you to get you hyper and craving more. Barbaric! Let’s make sure nobody else touches that.”

In some roundabout way, it seemed we were in agreement.

“I’m game.“

I picked up one of the books and coughed as a cloud of dust attacked my face. It was just shopping stuff.

“... Doesn’t seem like there’s much down here.“

“Books, big tall cabinets, paint, fizzy drinks and um... candles! That’s what we found.”

I nod.

“Seems like.”

She seemed awful proud of that. I looked around the place and couldn’t help wondering.

“Hey, was this... where you were? When you woke up?”

Seems like she hadn’t even considered that.

“Hmm. It was pitch black so I really don’t know... these lanterns weren’t lit before, correct? According to Pudding.“

“Yuunagi.”

“So, it’s hard to say. I feel like... I’d have more bruises if it was this room! Cause if you kick those crates, it’d hurt a lot! And I definitely wasn’t sitting still.”

Yeah, I had no trouble believing that. But if not this room, then where...? Maybe I was more curious about this then I thought.

“You’re still suspecting me. Right?”

“... Nah, it’s not like that, but... I’m... well, you can’t blame me for being curious, right?“

“I can blame you for what I want. But I suppose I do see your viewpoint...“

She sneezes and then wrinkles her nose.

“Blegh. This place is awful! Awful, awful, awful. I’m leaving. There are still rooms I wanna see on the first floor. This is just some dust trap - it’s totally pointless.”

I didn’t know much about Chiffon but I suppose her not wanting to be in a dirty place like this did make sense. As for me, I didn’t mind much but it’s true that there didn’t seem to be much obviously out of place. Maybe I’d go through the bookshelves again in more detail but... if I was being honest, books really weren’t my thing.

Chiffon made her way back up the stairs, this time with more care. I didn’t even bother following until she was safely up. Yeah, maybe it was petty but I really didn’t wanna risk her falling right into me again.

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