#have never started a fistfight in the supermarket despite really really wanting to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gideonisms · 2 years

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I should get married for convenience just like this girl in the show. My brother and his wife pay under $500 a month because he had a friend who wanted to help out a lovely newlywed couple. Well I am lovely. Who wants to marry me for the benefits (financial)

#life of #if i found someone to conveniently fall in love with and sleep in the same room with i could go from paying 1000 to 500.#only problem? well i hate circumstances and speaking to people i fake enjoyment of my social encounters 90% of the time irl.#anddd i really think about gay necromancers more than the average person does. like there is a lot of brain space devoted there #much more than is devoted to anything practical.#i burned frozen chicken dumplings today!#oh wait!#good qualities: i can bake bread somehow? i can patch a tire. change a tire. solve ur tire related issues #certified pest extinguisher! pest removal in every living situation i've ever been in #do dishes pretty frequently now #know how to make rum and coke. will probably not notice if your habits are strange #dogs love me children are ambivalent to friendly towards me #i would be delighted to proofread all your papers and ask questions or make suggestions if wanted #have never started a fistfight in the supermarket despite really really wanting to #hot if you squint!#wife material come get me!

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