#having a fic idea when your adhd meds are kicking in is an unsafe practice. look at this shit

[task800]

started slapping together a floppy lil prompt post about a northara oneshot where they represent fight versus flight (on first glance) but also flight versus fight (on further exploration) and how north is a "blood knight" revolutionary figurehead ruthlessly fighting for androids on the macro-level while fueled by extremely personal trauma, while kara is a more conflict-averse "nobody" who's just trying to ensure the survival of a select few, fueled by the drive to protect a vulnerable alice irrespective of alice's status as human or android, and how they would be ~ narrative foils ~ or whatever the correct literature term is idr --

-- and how in that process the fic would go on to depict north as this fierce thing who's terrified of the vulnerability that comes with interpersonal intimacy, who struggles to let herself love and be loved - who insists she doesn't need to be loved - because she's been so viscerally wounded before, and how this is her way of protecting her heart --- and kara being this soft-spoken gentle paradigm of "good girl" traits, who appeases as a survival strategy, and who narrows her sense of purpose down to the wellbeing of a little girl while subconsciously editing her own beliefs, herself, in a desperate attempt to be "good enough" to deserve love --

-- and then kara turning that love-hunger and unwavering reciprocity onto north, saying with her mouth "i don't want to fight" while the memory of todd's gun haunts her hands, knowing full well that she can and will kill for her own -- and north looking at kara and seeing this exhausted woman who has and continues to do everything in her power to be acceptable and worthy of love and affection, who deluded herself across a burning city into thinking alice was human because she still measures her own worth through her consumability to humans, when north never wants to be consumed again --

but it got out of hand and now it's probably gonna be a multi-post thing because it went from 'short prompt' to tolstoy-length meandering and i think im gonna have to chop it up just for the sake of my brain