#hccn lost and found

[hccn-overseer]

Issure 34, 2/29/24

Welcome, one and all, to the second season of the Hermitcitizen Overseer and the tenth of Hermitcraft itself! There are scenanigans aplenty waiting for us in the upcoming season, so let's not hesitate to get going!

Bookwatch

Written by AzureClouds 

This season, in an attempt to not use trading systems, Grian has decided to try and fish up a book of mending to use for enchanting. 

Until recently, he has had little luck catching the elusive mending books, although he had caught several other enchanted books. Additionally, (as of writing) Grian has managed to catch roughly 6500 fish-the majority of which have been cod-, Nautilus shells, fishing rods and bows with various enchantments, and saddles, all to various degrees of usefulness.

Statistically, there is generally a 1.9% chance of catching an Enchanted book while fishing, with a 0.015% chance of catching a mending book! Meaning that, supposedly for every 100 times Grian casts his line, he should catch 2 books, and if he catches 127 books, he should be able to find two mending books. 

In addition, Grian built a Cod Dungeon, complete with a secret entrance, and statues decorating the walls, even a special painting by Hoffen in an attempt to raise his chances of catching a mending book, officially named the Chamber of Sea Critters. 

Finally, after over nine thousand attempts, Grian was able to fish up a mending book, specifically with Piercing 3 and mending, and he has decided to instead trade for the rest of the books he needs.

Now on to other news below the cut!

Hermit Permits

By AzureClouds

This season, shops, and what you will be selling has been decided by various permits, distributed randomly. Each hermit has received six permits, of various value. The three tiers are iron, gold, and diamond, with each hermit receiving three iron permits, two gold, and one diamond permit. This means that only one Hermit is able to sell any given item (that there is an existing permit for).

For some items, such as wood, glass or wool, hermits are required to build a shop with those who received a permit in the same category as them (for example, all hermits who received a permit for wood will be building a shop together), with these shops being either collaborative, competitive or anything in between!

Additionally, as the winner of demise, False Symmetry was awarded a Joker permit, giving her the ability to pick an item to sell at any time. This special permit can only be used once, and has not yet been put into play. 

A Small(Ishbeans) Introduction! By Roo

This season, we welcomed another two hermits- Skizzleman, and Smallishbeans. While an article for Skizz is anticipated and hoped for, this one is about none other than Joel Smallishbeans. 

First, let’s get you acquainted, shall we? Joel Smallishbeans- often called Joel Beans, Bean, Big Man, or just plain Joel- is a British YouTuber who, other than the green streak in the hair of his minecraft skin, can be recognized as “That One Guy Who Used To Be Shrek”*. A former member of both of the seasons of Empires SMP, as well as other servers such as the life series (he won Last Life in our hearts), or KingdomCraft, way back when, Joel is renowned for making buildings and areas that take immense amounts of time, effort, and skill, as well as the absolute beast he is at PVP. (Yes, we are aware this article would boost his ego immensely. That’s alright.) From the giant spires of the Mazalean Palace to the looming castles of his hardcore world, to the beginnings of his Hermitcraft base, it’s easy to say that Joel is a legendary builder that’ll be at home on Hermitcraft. 

As for how his Hermitcraft is going- other than the multitude of failed attempts to kill XBCrafted, and the one successful attempt (yes, that took 74 TNT), everything seems to be going well for our favorite bean man. He already has a glow squid farm that works- well, it works- in addition to a lovely road, four buildings, and his first Hermitcraft diamond hanging proudly on the wall. His build style, a mixture of traditional Japanese architecture and a modern-cyberpunk-ish-vibe, seems to involve an astounding level of detail, which is impressive in and of itself, and also in the lag that is generated. Those glowing signs may have to decrease sometime through the season.

Of course, seeing as it’s Hermitcraft, shenanigans are bound to ensue, and from the past, we know Joel is one who will never back down from a good shenanigan. Those twelve kills in Last Life didn’t get themselves, after all. His neighbors, whom he has dubbed the Magic Mountaineers- Grian, Mumbo, Scar, Gem, Impulse, Skizz, and himself- are all settled around one big cherry blossom mountain (hence the name), and with Hermits that close together, we know that mischief is already brewing, pranks are being planned, and friendly rivalries formed.

No matter where the season goes for him, Joel seems to have an amazing start to this season, and for any of you who are considering giving him a watch, we would highly recommend- his sarcasm, skill, and hatred for Minecraft chickens and horses are hard to forget, and many a good time is had over on the Smallishbeans channel. 

Look out, Hermitcraft Season 10!

Skizzleman, the man, the myth the legend. 

By Winter. 

Skizzleman is one of the new members of Hermitcraft Season 10. As you saw Mr Beans introduced in another article it is now Skizzleman’s turn. Now most people may not know what Skizzleman has done before Hermitcraft, so here is a run down. 

Skizzleman is part of the Z.I.T.S, aka Zedaph. Impulse. Tango. Skizzleman. These four have been creating videos together for a while. The first series that Impulse and Skizzleman created together is “Naked and Scared” which was and continues to be a unique spin on the genre of Hardcore. 

 For the wider audience, you may know Skizzleman from the hit series “The Life Series”. While Skizzleman has never won any series he has always left a resounding echo within each character he has portrayed. This often creates a very emotional ending to each series. He always commits to the bit, even to the character's demise. 

Another place you may know Skizzleman from is the GIGS Phasmophobia streams, or the 2020 Assorted Hermits(and Skizzleman) Among Us Streams. Both of the streams are different in the dynamics that they invoke. The streams are memorable and cemented in the viewer's hearts that Skizzleman was already a Hermit way before his invite. 

In other endeavours he runs a podcast with ImpulseSV called the “Imp and Skizz podcast”. Within this podcast, they discuss a variety of topics such as: how they became friends, parenting, what makes a great leader, and other big philosophical topics. They also have special guests such as Geminitay, Xisumavoid, Evan and Kate, and others. On this podcast, Impulse also proposed to Skizzleman about joining Hermitcraft. 

They now have started the season and with that new connections are being formed. As of current Skizzleman has a starter base which is lovingly called “Skizz’s Crack”. He is staying in the area with fellow hermits  Grian, SmallishBeans, GoodTimesWithScar, ImpulseSV, Mumbo Jumbo, and GeminiTay. He is currently creating a pyramid. We at the Overseer wish him well on his journey to creating joy within people's hearts. 

Lost + Found Collected by Roo

-

lost item:

a blue crochet squid on a crochet piece of sushi.

it has large eyes and is wrapped around the crochet sushi.

-

lost item(s)

5 boxes of cod.

i doubt whoever lost it actually wants to find it again.

...but i dont really want this either.

-

lost item:

ive found another one. the cursed enchanted items.

a luck of the sea, lure,unbreaking, and.

multishot...

fishing rod.

you can. assume what it does.

That's all for this week! Tune in next time to hear about the endeavors of the Citizens and the Hermits themselves!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 12, 7/5/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

This week’s issue is accompanied by a PDF version created by the lovely Cheer! Pick it up here to check it out!

This Week at The Overseer HQ: Issue 12

By Lydia

After The Masquerade, our writers, editors, artists, and graphic designers have returned after non-stop chatter, dancing, tasty snacks, and showing off their most glamorous costumes. All of them had stated that they had enjoyable excursions, many of them having been to multiple black-tie events in the past that had proven to be rather lackluster in comparison. They also noted that the decor and preparation were admirable, and would like to extend a thank-you to everyone who contributed to them!

The Incident Count rose significantly because of their attendance, rising from a mere 28 to a total of 136. Aside from the previously failed kidnappings, the staff was seen celebrating both their evasion skills as well as enjoying the biggest social event of the month, diving headfirst into starting a dance-off with all of the other guests at The Masquerade. This was conducted through a challenge in which stamina was the key, rather than skill, and the last person standing on the dance floor was declared the victor. Despite their best efforts, absolutely no one from the staff won the competition, as the last staff member standing was knocked down with a metal pipe to the kneecaps. The victor of the whole competition was none other than Berry of the Decked Out Crew, completely through fair play. He had nothing to do with the sabotage of the other contestants. Multiple staff members were also seen falling down the frozen stream into the Void in the Purpur Pavilion, their evident yelps as they had fallen proving to be quite amusing to the other partygoers.

An article written by Nes also covers the many costumes presented at The Masquerade, noting favorites of The Overseer staff as well as the detailed craftsmanship of these outfits, as almost every single one of them was designed entirely by each individual participant. The staff has collectively dropped their jaws at the sight of the artistic abilities of all who have sent their Citizens down the Red Carpet. We are thrilled at the way all of the participants have seized the chance to show off their innovative creativity regarding their Citizens’ personalities and how they are presented through each piece!

A collection of stray cats, more of which have been added over the past week, have been living at the office since Tuesday, June 22nd. Luckily, none of our staff members are allergic to cats, and the majority of our staff members have taken a very quick shine to them. Several staff members were seen quickly rearranging their offices to suit the comforts of these creatures. Some of them have gone on an extended shopping spree for the most high-quality cat food, multi-tier cat towers, the latest cat toys, cat beds, blankets, and many treats. Aside from the great affection being given to these cats, Lydia had threatened to shave any cat that walked into her office, which successfully kept almost every cat at bay from that particular room, but three cats are now hairless and terrified. Some of our visitors asked if these stray cats were up for adoption, and the staff had very reluctantly given away six of these cats. One of these cats has taken to sleeping upon the largest printer in the office, much to the chagrin of the other cats, who have begun an ongoing battle for the warmest sleeping place in the building.

The Overseer staff is pleased to announce that the Citizen Census has been completed for the first week of July, and hopes that all Citizens so far have enjoyed their time on the Server, whether they are newcomers or have been here since the very beginning! The staff would note that this was well worth it. We do not call ourselves The Overseer without good reason, and while we do not consider ourselves Watchers, none can escape our ubiquitous gaze.

Despite the overall jovial week, a few of our staff members had attended a game show on July 1st in which the rules were incredibly loose. This would not be of important notice until they had all decided that to show the opposing team what for, they should raise the stakes and put the entire newspaper on the line in a bet, with the victor of that night’s game show taking on full ownership of the paper for the next week and a half. The opposing team had placed their large apartment suite on the line for their side of the bet, to show that they were just as serious about this competition. After many rounds of trivia questions, guessing games, and obstacle courses, The Overseer staff members lost the final competition of the game show. As the credits rolled, the entire audience, as well as the opposing team, joined in the vicious mockery of The Overseer team. Those staff members of our newspaper were seen collapsing on the ground in shame, cartoonishly shouting, “Woe are we!”

Now onto other news under the cut!

Hermitcitizen Census

Written by Nes and Lydia Data compiled by Lydia With help from Corundumcat and Morph Meme by Coffee

Over the past month, we here at The Overseer have scoured the Citizen Information threads in order to compile a mostly complete Hermitcitizen Census. As of the posting of this article, we were able to collect data on 671 citizens. Some of this information was submitted via our Google Form, and others were sought out by Lydia. For the sake of this article, we are not taking into account whether or not an individual is being paid for their job, because the answer is most likely no, and we do not feel like asking 600+ people this.

Raw data for this article can be found here for those interested. Otherwise, enjoy our condensed version. 

Hermitcraft has a 10% unemployment rate, 8% of those being unemployed while 2% have an unclear employment status. Additionally, 2 citizens were exempt from this count due to lack of information. Scarland appears to be the most popular employment location with 68 citizens, approximately 10% of the population. 45 citizens are shop owners, although most of these shops were not given specific names in the citizen census. Customer Service is by far the most popular form of work, with this trait occurring in approximately 121 employed citizens’ jobs. Odd Jobs took second place with 106 citizens, and Scientific Research took third place with 74 citizens.

281 citizens submitted their age to the census, leaving 388 citizens unaccounted for, or 58% of citizens. The youngest citizen is 9 months old while the oldest is 1572 years old, among those that provided specific numbers. There are citizens who are several thousands of years old, however, they did not specify exact numbers. The median age is 20 and the most common age is 19, with 38 citizens submitting that age, or 13% of those who submitted an age.

The most common species on the server is the Avian, with 77, or 11% of the server self-identifying as one or more variations of the hybrid. Several species only have a single inhabitant on the server and therefore we are unable to name the least popular species. Approximately 100 citizens present themselves as human, whether they really are human or prefer to be under the radar regarding their species. 86 citizens were noted to have a specific real-world basis of an animal or creature for their species by their participant, with most of these creatures being various species of birds.

Scar is the most popular Hermit in terms of Citizen Associations, with approximately 124 citizens identifying as Scar Affiliates. Grian has the second most Citizens identifying as affiliates to him with 80 citizens, and Pearl has the third most citizens identifying as affiliates to her with 77. Pearl is also the most popular Hermit of the Soup Group, due to both citizens living in or near her bases and citizens who work jobs related to her or her bases.

83, or approximately 12% of citizens do not have a base or consider themselves nomadic. This number significantly outweighs those who do have a base. Among those that do have a base, Scarland is the most popular Hermit-related base location, with 52 citizens living there. Gem has the second most popular Hermit-related base location count, with 34 citizens living in or near her bases. Doc has the third most popular Hermit-related base location count, with 33 citizens living in or near his bases. 28 citizens are Dual citizens of both Hermitcraft and another server, with several being citizens of Empires. One citizen noted only living in Tumble Town but not the Hermitcraft server.

Additional fun facts: the tallest citizen is 13’5” while the shortest is just two inches tall. Four citizens admitted to crimes on the census, ranging from being a tomato thief to a cult leader. Someone listed their occupation as ‘Grian’s 1 Braincell,’ their species was a Waffle. Finally, the most popular first letter for a name is S with 67 total citizens, or 10% of citizens submitted. U was the least popular first letter, with 3 names or just under 0.5% of citizens having a name that begins with U.

The Overseer would like to acknowledge that all data listed above is prone to human error and numbers may be slightly off. We do not believe any major errors were made, however, we encourage you to peer review our stats to ensure they are accurate.

Affiliate Summaries

By Roo :)

Bdoubleo: It’s been announced that Bdubs most certainly has the best sleep schedule in ever, but we as The Overseer staff must beg to differ as we are, in fact, spectacular at getting to bed on time. We don’t talk of the incidents of the past week.

Docm77: He's got butterfly wings now, which makes us wonder if he's gone through metamorphosis recently. At any rate, we've been told he looks like a watermelon, which is a perfectly true fact.

Ethoslab: I think we should be glad that, in Season 8, Tango went to blow up the moon and not Etho, although if our sources are correct (and they always are), he would've been quite close had he not been given free range of the shopping district.

Grian: I don’t know what the world would be without Grian noises. Quiet, I suppose.

ImpulseSV: If anyone sees their little guy around, please alert them, as they miss him very much (but wish him a very lovely break).

JoeHills: (Impatiently) Joe Hills.

Pearlescentmoon: I think that there have been requests for The Overseer to get cats in its office. Lots of cats.

Welsknight: He has been squished and Shakespeareified? It has been a busy week for him. Maybe he could cuddle up with a new office cat to relax.

Zombiecleo: All Cleo affiliates are boarding a big ol’ school bus and driving around to museums and wherever else. The former teacher in Cleo would be proud.

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are written in Celsius Format.

Thursday: Temperatures are expected to cool with a high of 18 degrees and a low of 13 degrees. Drowned mobs may appear sporadically near large bodies of water, so be careful if you plan on swimming today.

Friday: Temperatures are expected to rise with a high of 28 degrees and a low of 19 degrees. Showers may come in the early morning but will clear out before 12:00. Fire whirls will be visible throughout the entire afternoon.

Saturday: Temperatures are expected to stay warm with a high of 27 degrees and a low of 21 degrees. A colorful, cloudy haze will fall upon the server in shades of teal, orange, and purple, and will last for approximately three hours. This haze will have no ill effects, but may make those who stand in it feel mildly rejuvenated.

Sunday: Temperatures are expected to be mild with a high of 25 degrees and a low of 18 degrees. Hot Guy sightings are expected, and archery classes will be held around 1:00. It is likely that Hot Guy will remain in the area throughout the afternoon to sign autographs and promote his new book.

Monday: Temperatures are expected to rise significantly, with a high of 34 degrees and a low of 28 degrees. Both fire whirls and dust devils will be visible, so make sure you have a way to cover your face. If you look hard enough into a fire whirl, you may see the face of an unfamiliar but unnerving foe.

Tuesday: Temperatures are expected to stay very hot, with a high of 36 degrees and a low of 30 degrees. There is no rain expected, and skies will be clear throughout the entire day and the evening. A meteor shower is expected around 9:00, visible to everyone, so step outside for stargazing!

Wednesday: Temperatures are expected to fall back to a mild range, with a high of 26 degrees and a low of 20 degrees. Light rain is expected throughout the entire day. No storms are expected, but are not impossible.

Masquerade Fashion

By Nes Art Compiled by Lydia, drawn by all participants

Last week the server took part in their first ever event, The Masquerade. With 53 participants, the event was a huge success that brought in citizens from all over, all of them in unique and stylish outfits. This article will cover some of the most stunning looks from the evening.

Roo was the first to arrive in a stunning blue ensemble that seemed to shimmer gold as the avian hybrid moved. His gown was a rather simple shape and blue in colour with star-like specks throughout, though the accents adorning his wings made up for that fact by being the real eye grabber with various golden decorations. The mask paired with his outfit covered his entire face, with one side being a simple blue with gold specks and the other had golden wire wrapping to resemble a bird. The look seemed to match the Astral Library, where the event took place, and was an amazing start to the evening and a tough look to top.

The next outfit to catch our eye was put together by City, entering the venue rather early in the evening with a black iridescent gown that swayed as she walked. The dress itself was rather simple, a standard ball gown with just a little more poofiness than one would expect and fell just past her ankle. She wore silver accessories that complemented the look, and her mask covered about half her face and seemed to be inspired by orcas. Truly a unique ensemble that caught other participants' gazes.

Nerd made a valiant attempt to enter the masquerade unnoticed, but we here at The Overseer are determined to bring to you everyone's ensemble and were able to jot down what she wore. Our first suit of the evening, Nerd’s two piece had a purple almost blue in colour jacket with golden trimming, a silvery shirt underneath, and black dress pants. She wore her usual boots to the event, and black gloves with the same gold trimming as her jacket. Her hair was braided, and she opted for wearing her usual all white mask that covers her entire face, and decorated her wings with a sheer fabric that shimmered in the light. With such a gorgeous look, we’re sad we didn’t get to see it more, but we’re sure those who did catch a peek would agree that it was a highlight of the evening.

Arriving not long after, Winter was also a treat to see. She wore a pale lilac gown that glowed as though enchanted, with simple heals and a mask. Although a very standard look compared to the others, it truly brought out Winters beauty as it matched her hair and complimented her eyes. Additionally, it was a wonderful contrast to everyone else at the masquerade making her stand out.

Arriving as a trio, KP, Erina, and Flayre were certainly a sight to behold. KP appeared in a gorgeous green floor length gown with a silver cat mask that covered the upper half of their face, which complemented one another shockingly well. Erina arrived perched on KPs shoulder in a sparkly blue dress with a golden mask that covered the left half of her face. Her hair was done up in space buns with star clips, but the true show stopped were the blue and green feathery boa decorating her shoulders and brought the entire ensemble together. Additionally, she appears to have redone her cane just for the occasion. With a fresh coat of teal and a million sequin stickers, the entire look was truly awe inspiring. As for Flayre, the blaze hybrid followed behind her two friends in a beautiful purple suit with a sparkly undershirt and matching gloves. Her mask resembled that of HotGuy, both in shape and colour with contrasting cyan and orange that fit the suit well. Her blaze rods seemed to form a crown above her head. Overall, the three were quite a trio, each with such a unique look that no one but them could have pulled off. 

Budgie arrived in a floor length gown that contrasted everyone else, with its emerald green colour. The top of the dress resembled a corset, and was decorated with various floral laces and gems that really drew your attention. The lace and gems could be found on the gown portion of the dress, and the sleeves were sheer and bell shaped on the avian's arms. To compliment such a stunning dress, the mask was simple in design with a matching colour to the gown, decorated with only floral designs. It’s a look that stood out from everyone else, and gave ample room to show off the avian's three sets of wings without it being too much. 

Taking the cake for the most creative look of the evening is Mercury, with a black button down jacket and blue accents one may think the look was standard. Though the true charm and creativity comes from the bottoms, which was a poofy skirt that seemed to mimic skulk and shined blue and green as he walked. The front of the skirt was altered to show off the simple black slacks underneath, and the entire ensemble seemed to glow. We can’t imagine a more creative look that perfectly shows off ones personality!

Cara arrived in a simple black dress accompanied by a split top with one pink and one green sleeve that almost reached the floor. She had on a white mask with lace attached to it hanging down to her stomach. Although simple, the ensemble had so much personality and seemed almost hand crafted, giving it an immaculate vibe, and it complements Cara’s green hair so well!

Fleur's outfit is a personal favourite of mine and had me fangirling the moment I saw it. She entered with a sleeveless black dress with a v-shaped neckline. The dress has small white stars that give off a faint glow, and is tailored in such a way to show off the shiny black boots accompanying the dress. Her mask was truly a showstopper, in the traditional masquerade style, one eye is modelled after the sun while the rest of the mask resembles the night sky. Such a classy look that not only matched the Astral Library, but also the one wearing it.

Opting for a more subtle look, Hopper arrived in his usual clothing but with an additional bow-tie. His prosthetics’ had been decorated in glitter and they had a beautiful fox shaped mask on which covers their entire face. Simple yet effective, the look was truly one of a kind.

Patchwork’s look was also more subtle, switching out his usual vest for a dark purple embroidered version with a swallowed tail back. Their moth wings, which are typically green, were purple as well to match the look. His mask resembled a black cat, with golden designs and some purple and blue accents to really draw your attention. His cane was made of warped wood and had some stunning gold accents to tie it in with the rest of the look. Although not as showy as some others, the outfit truly complemented Patchwork and had a certain charm to it.

The last person to arrive was Anura, wearing a plain black dress that reached just below her knees. The only shape given was a small bit of poof, and very few details accompanied the look. Her mask appeared to be made of plastic and was a simple black. While the most subtle look of the evening, we here at The Overseer do appreciate the effort put in and can say for certain that it complimented the hybrid's wings!

That’s all for the fashion we saw at The Masqurade last week. Additional looks have been provided by Lydia who has compiled several artist renditions into one collage! Original artists for each piece can be found by going to the server, event submissions, the red carpet, and looking for the matching piece there. Unfortunately there are too many for us to properly credit in this article! 

Astrology Corner

By Corundumcat

Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday, look up your star sign, and wonder, “What medieval piece of food am I from The Abbey Medieval Festival Banquet 2023?” “Am I gonna be dropped on the ground?” Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.*

Aries: Braised beef in red wine with herbs. This meal was a favourite among the guests, some even asked for more. However if you are vegetarian, vegetable and barley stew in an open pie was served.

Taurus: Pastries of duck & root vegetables. This was one of the earlier meals so it got eaten up quickly. The vegetarian option was pastries of root vegetables. 

Gemini: Maids of Honour – tart of curd & almonds. Sorry to those who are nuts intolerant. 

Cancer: Platter of cheeses, fruit paste, dried fruits, nuts. Apologies to the lactose intolerant AGAIN. Vegetarians had the same meal. 

Leo: Mushrooms stuffed with cheeses, spinach & leek. This smelled pretty epic. 

Virgo: Tarts of pears & apples with spice & honey. These were smaller than I expected, however it makes sense because it was a 10 course meal. 

Libra: Lamb shank roasted in camelyn sauce (cinnamon & ginger). It was the hardest meal to serve, because the meat was willing to drop. The vegetarian option was tart of eggs, cheese and spinach. 

Scorpio: Salad of greens & herbs with orange vinaigrette. This ended up being a snack for people in between courses. 

Sagittarius: Fruitcake with fondant on top. This was the final course. 

Capricorn: Roasted root vegetables with honey & spice. 

Aquarius: Leg of chicken roasted in fruit wine and spices. The vegetarian option was Cabbage with apple & spices

Pisces: Glazed carrots & peas

All star signs: Revel in the night that was once there. 

AN: I hope that you enjoy your meal, and if you want you should make it yourself. I know these haven’t been your normal Horoscopes but after all the server is not normal. On a more serious note I will still be sort of here next week. 

*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you.

From the Sidelines

By StarryFelix Horses and Chickens… ChickenHorse?

Hello, and welcome back to 'From the Sidelines!’

Today, we will mainly be talking about how to properly handle animals. Seeing the (alarmingly) growing incidents regarding horses, the ever loving struggle of strangling wardens and a very actual issue with how to deal with chickens... eyeing Poultry Man because he should know better, it is the time to address the elephant in the room.

While keeping pets and holding pets has a couple of different reasons, most of which are justified and understandable, there currently is an apparent server-wide need to address that. You do not try to crash and fail the server by spamming it with chickens. (This may even cause the need for a respawn.) Doing this will also affect your neighbours. "I really don't like being your and Grian's neighbour right now," is very much a sentence that has already been muttered, and understandably so, seeing the chaos that this mistreatment and forceful re-allocation of chickens may cause. (I, as a writer, would also like to state that it is still uncertain whether we actually know who Poultry Man is and whether his constant affiliation to the person that is Grian is not actually factual.) 

The larger problem at hand is the fact that a significant amount of horses have been lost to rogue arrows. In past seasons, this has never seen as high rates as it has now, and it is important to remind people that you do not use arrows on horses or anywhere near horses, for that matter. Sometimes, it seems to be surprising that there has not been a law for this yet. The loose 'vigilante' causing the main issue may not even listen to these laws in the first place, however, doing our best to avoid the death of horses server wide, vouching for better treatment of some of the creatures wandering it is a rather active topic. It is very much encouraged to talk to anyone who holds any type of weapon close to a horse specifically when a moss-covered figure is nearby to avoid further retaliation and to stop the rise of the chance of cursing by 378%. The main point in this story being: please watch out for loose arrows, take care of one another and please look out for one another (and the horses, I am afraid the chickens are already an unavoidable problem). 

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A ��snack bouquet” This “snack bouquet” is made with several candy bars as well as an origami heart with a bow inside, held together with what appears to be colored wax paper and tissue paper in maroon, orange, and white. If this item is yours, please pick it up before our staff members eat it. You do not have very long, so visit us as soon as you are able!

Item 2: Several posters depicting various Citizens for Artfight Several posters were found of various Citizens, many with notes attached to them regarding their specific skin markings, fur patterns, creature-specific features, and accessories. The Citizens depicted include the following: KP, Byro, Clementine, Ender, TV, Flayrian, Scythe, Khalid, Raidne, Lemon, Arcade, Kare, Gene, Kaze, Hyo, Phantom Irene & Cirrus, Juneau, Ozzy, Nerd, Budgie, and Jay. If these posters are yours, we wish you the best of luck in Artfight this year, and hope that you receive many attacks! [Citizens drawn by Kier, TV, Lemon, Arcade, Kare, Kit, Gene, Kaze, Juneau, Nerdi, Elodie, Hyo, Moonixi, Grim, Okami, Juneau, Lydia, Seven (Mateo), and Tony. ArtFight links are posted in a thread within the Art Studio chat!] 

Item 3: A jukebox disc containing a Masquerade Playlist These songs include waltz songs from a collection compiled by Martin Vargic and are as follows: Aram Khachaturian’s Masquerade Waltz, Under the Sky of Paris, Johann Strauss II’s Voices of Spring, Tales From the Vienna Woods, and The Fledermaus Waltz, Eugen Doga’s Gramophone Waltz and My Sweet and Tender Beast, Dmitry Shostakovich’s The Second Waltz, and Piotr Ilych Tchaikovsky’s Waltz of the Flowers and The Swan Lake Waltz, Iosif Ivanovici’s Waves of the Danube, and Juventino Rosas’ Over the Waves Waltz. [This playlist can be found here: https://youtu.be/WnWQ56zEuko Note: Songs are not listed in the same order as the Playlist.]

Item 4: A pair of black lace gloves These black lace gloves were found near the East Gate, intricately detailed with depictions of flowers and vines. Upon trying them on, our staff members noted feeling as if they could float in mid air, though they were unsuccessful upon trying to do so. If these gloves are yours, please tell us if you have enchanted them!

Item 5: Photographs depicting gifts given during the Masquerade These photographs depict various gifts that were given to different Citizens, including but not limited to two color-changing pens and a pendant of a Sniffer for Mateo’s birthday, a promise ring given from Pen to Raven, a cane given from Eloise to Z, and a small red dragon illusion-turned-familiar created by and for Terra. All of these photographs were taken with a Polaroid SX-70 camera and left in one of the bookshelves of the Astral Library.

Item 6: A horn that plays a chant of the Joe Hills affiliates This horn may or may not be cursed. When blown, it plays a chant used by the Joe Hills affiliates and makes the staff question the origins of Joe Hills himself, though they know they will likely never find the answer. If this horn is yours, you surely must be one of his many associates!

Item 7: A music disc of eerie lofi This music disc has a surprisingly long playtime, lasting approximately seven hours, and plays entirely lofi-sounding music, all of which is noted to sound slightly eerie. The staff has been playing it in the background, much to the joy of the stray cats that are still wandering around the office.

Item 8: A screaming sword This sword screams with a volume level proportional to how fast it is being swung, and seems to be used to set off Sculker Shrieker pranks. If the sword is swung very quickly, it can reach approximately 95 decibels. Our staff members are having a great time with it, and are running amok setting off Sculker Shriekers with reckless abandon! If this sword is yours, your fellow Citizens would greatly appreciate it if you would pick it up to help them return to some form of quiet!

ADVERTISEMENTS

By Jamie

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Things are going back to where it all started during this week’s Garden Club meeting! Stop by Spawn this Friday to show off your best or rarest plants! Now that v20 is here we expect quite the collection of specimens to get shown off.

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Do you have trouble getting your mob farms to work? Need an extra hand with your redstone? The SUS is more than willing to help you get it up and running, no worries! Your farm will be overflowing with monsters, guaranteed!

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Fun and Games

This week's word search, crossword, and brain teasers are brought to you by Lydia!

Hello, lovely readers! The Overseer staff would like to make sure everyone knows that next week's issue will be very heavily themed on kidnapping. We do love surprises, but want to make sure everyone knows ahead of time. Hope you enjoyed this week's issue, and stay safe, everyone!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 31, 11/22/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Affiliate Summaries

By Roo

JoeHills: Joe Hills (The day i stop this is the day I die. I'm not a Joe affiliate, but I hope I am in your heart.)

Pearlescentmoon: Happy wet cat Wednesday to all, and I hope all your soup is the best it can be. 

That's all the affiliate summaries for this week! See y'all in a little <3

Now onto other news below the cut!

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of -4 degrees and a low of -8 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy with winds of 18 miles per hour.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of -5 degrees and a low of -10 degrees. Skies will be sunny but windy, with winds of 36 miles per hour.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of -2 degrees and a low of -12 degrees. Skies will be snowy throughout the day with little to no wind.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of -3 degrees and a low of -9 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy with snow in the early to late afternoon going into the evening.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of -4 degrees and a low of -11 degrees. Skies will continue to be snowy throughout the entire day.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 6 degrees and a low of -3 degrees. Skies will be cloudy with high chances of snow throughout the afternoon once again.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 2 degrees and a low of -7 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with low chances of precipitation throughout the day.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 4 degrees and a low of -6 degrees. Skies will continue to be cloudy with very low winds and high chances of snow throughout the evening and overnight hours.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A flier depicting a traveling exhibit This flier is an advertisement stating that a traveling exhibit featuring historical replications (but no real artifacts) and set designs resembling that of ancient Egypt will be passing through very soon, particularly on the next several weeks on rotating weekends. The exhibit features a walking tour and hired actors playing the parts of famous historical figures.

Item 2: A case of water bottles This case of water bottles appears to have never been opened, though each bottle is flavored with various food dyes. A note attached assures that there is nothing unusual about these water bottles despite the occasional black smoke seen surrounding them. The staff is failing to resist the temptation to drink them immediately, so please claim them soon.

Item 3: A list of Decked Out strategies This list of strategies is written in thick green marker with handwriting that is quite difficult to read aside from the title. The paper’s edges appear to have been chewed off as well, and there are various doodles of ravagers littering the piece. It is uncertain as to whether these strategies are successful as the staff is unable to read them.

Item 4: A bag of marshmallows This bag of jumbo-sized marshmallows was found near Mumbo’s base and appears to have been eaten about halfway through. Next to it is a list of notes exchanged between three people arguing about the best way to make S’mores.

Item 5: A bag of marbles This bag of marbles was found near Joe’s arcade and contains marbles of a variety of different sizes and colors. They come with instructions for different games that can be played with said marbles, though the staff has taken to using them to spread all throughout the shopping district to make people trip.

Item 6: A staff made of glass This staff has the names of its previous owners written on it and has an inscription listing elements from the periodic table. It glows in the dark and feels very cold to the touch. The staff plans to have a field day with it to see if it can control every element on the periodic table if it is not claimed within the next two days, so be wary!

Fun and Games

By Lydia

And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 16, 8/2/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

This Week At The Overseer HQ: MCC Madness!

By Lydia

The announcement of Minecraft Championship 33, taking place on Saturday, August 5th, has brought with it a very enthused and competitive wave to The Overseer staff members, many of whom have either crafted or bought merchandise to support their preferred team. Everything from foam fingers, T-shirts, paint, and team-branded (non-alcoholic) drinks are currently filling up almost every room of the office. A quarter of the popcorn, over half of the hot dogs, eight pizzas, and a few of the large specialty pastries from Scarland were taken by The Overseer staff as well in preparation for the event’s afterparty. Bets are being placed to predict the winning team of this month’s Minecraft Championship, with the winning pot containing previously lost items that the staff has taken a liking to and special commissions from one of the Citizen Shops of the winners’ choices. The rats in the office, not wanting to miss out, have also taken part in the bets to predict the winning team of this month’s championship. 

The rats in the office have continued stealing all of the pizza during the past two weeks,, and they were very pleased at the addition of both more pizza as well as the other snacks that the staff has collected. The rats remained perfectly safe from the office cats. The cats, rather than attempting to catch them, have taken to actively avoiding them, though the staff cannot figure out why. Regardless, all of the office pets have been given their own miniature T-shirts and hats to support the staff’s favorite teams.

Staff members were seen around the server flipping various vendor carts, climbing buildings, and shooting off fireworks corresponding to their preferred teams’ colors during multiple nights of excitement. They also blasted music that they had declared to be “team anthems” at various bases as well as in every public district. The Shopping District is covered in crepe paper, spray paint, streamers, confetti, and team flags for various teams, and over a fourth of the Citizen Shops have been left in a similar state. Some of the shop owners are refusing service to The Overseer until the championship has ended. Citizens should be warned that this will only increase tenfold as the championship draws closer with the intention of encouraging Citizens to root for their preferred teams. Though this will likely have the opposite effect, attempting to tell the staff members will not mitigate the pandemonium.

The staff has reserved seats well in advance in the stadiums. Being able to attend the games at all is considered a notable achievement in and of itself, as purchasing tickets took over a week. This was in part due to the staff members needing to comb past scalpers and being scammed by them no less than fifteen times. Another reason that this took longer than anticipated is that a few of the staff members had insisted upon taking the entire animal menagerie with them, and therefore chose to buy tickets for every cat and rat in the office.

The final piece to complete The Overseer staff’s demonstration of team spirit before the games begin is the collection of superstitions that they must fulfill in hopes of helping their teams win. This denotes specific beverages and food items that must be eaten as well as clothing colors that must be worn on the day of the championship games. These superstitions also include newly-made rituals, ranging from traversing an ancient city to collect various materials (it is against the ritual rules to buy them at any shops), setting at least thirty traps of any kind throughout the server inside other buildings, to challenging Citizens outside of The Overseer to fight to the death if they are rooting for opposing teams. One ritual in particular, sending three stray cats and six rats through The Rift, with the intention of their return with items from each team member’s inventory, is currently in progress and will conclude on the day before the championship games, provided that the animals have not gotten lost along the way.

With the conclusion of this week’s office update, The Overseer wishes the best to all Citizens attending the Minecraft Championship as audience members and hopes that they enjoy an excellent performance from their favorite teams this month.

Now onto other news below the cut!

Joe Hills Support Weekend

By Roo

Joe Hills is a lot of things: undisputed MCYTblr sexyman, calligrapher, poet, eldritch being, musician, pinball machine creator, and a ghost, among many other amazing things. 

As you all may know, this weekend, other than being a Saturday and Sunday, was known to many of us as Joe Hills Support Weekend. 

Joe had mentioned that he had been trying to keep up his standard stream schedule even though he was struggling to find the financial means to do so, and this weekend, when Joe did a TCG stream each day, many community members supported him through both Patreon and Tips, with Joe reporting over 75 new Patreon signups and pledges. 

Not all support has to be direct donations- subscribing to him on Youtube or following on Twitch means a lot, and he makes amazing content on both platforms. Whether a new Joe fan or old, even if the official support weekend may be over, it is Joe Hills time all the time. Continued support is just as, if not even more important, and the Joe affiliates in the Hermitcitizen Hub would always welcome more friends. 

Affiliate Summaries

By Roo

Docm77: Things sure have been happening. I'm actually not qualified to disclose to you what Doc has been getting up to, and in turn, the Doc affiliates, but things sure are happening.

Ethoslab: A lot of hype about him in MCC, Etho affiliates are placing bets on whether or not he will change his skin, with the majority of bets on a strong, resounding no.

Joe Hills: (This is the eighth time I have had to report on this. Joe affiliates, are you okay?) Joe Hills.

Mumbo Jumbo: Eat your veggies and never, never watch the realistic Mumbo video. Not again.

Pearlescentmoon: The Pearl affiliates are discussing being cats again. Don't worry, this is perfectly normal and healthy behavior.

Welsknight: He's turned into a Pokemon? Someone explain this to me.

Xisumavoid: Pears? Pears.

Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees with a low of 20 degrees. Winds will be very high today, with gusts of up to 58 miles per hour. Be sure to secure any of your loose items.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 27 degrees and a low of 21 degrees. Scattered thunderstorms are expected, however, it is very likely that they will pass within minutes due to Bdubs sleeping them away.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 29 degrees with a low of 21 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with very mild wind gusts. Evening skies will be clear.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 28 degrees with a low of 22 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny with very low wind gusts.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 31 degrees with a low of 24 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with a chance of rain during the late afternoon.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 27 degrees with a low of 19 degrees. Skies will be mostly sunny. There is a predicted increase in whirlpools and rip tides, so be careful if you are swimming.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees with a low of 18 degrees. Early morning showers will take place, however skies will clear by the early afternoon.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees with a low of 22 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout the day with light showers throughout the evening and overnight.

Astrology Corner: MCC-Scopes

By Corundumcat

Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday, look up your star sign, and wonder, “Will I be called out this week?” “Who am I in regards to the usual MCC goer?” Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.*

Aries: You were convinced by your friends to come to MCC. You don’t know who these people are and why Kakashi sounds Canadian. You are also confused why Naruto is not here as well. Also, Not Kakashi has a Canadian flag where you would put the captain's armband. 

Taurus: Your favourite player will come 29th or they won’t. You don’t know. Regardless, you will get them to sign the life size cut out of themself. The cutout seems to be breathing. 

Gemini: You are the unpaid intern of Noxcrew who always fixes the elevator and for the majority of the time, the people playing break the f-ing elevator. You have gotten so good at being an elevator mechanic the Noxcrew have sworn that they won’t make a ‘joke’ this time. You have made sure of that. You used bedrock-lined red stone this time. 

Cancer: You are the singular MCC stall worker who has been given a box cutter to easily get the merchandise that always sells out, except for the novelty Noxite Plushees. There are always so many that the merch store donated a whole bunch for The Overseer to use as decorations. 

Leo: You went in full cosplay to support your favourite team (Kakashi's team). You see that Bdubs, the Bdubs Affiliates, and the Kakashi Affiliates are all dressed as Kakashi Girls. Bdubs seems to be really excited and has told everyone that Etho is only lacking in Limited Life. They all have posters that say “KAKASHI IS NOT WASHED UP.” A rather polite Kakashi affiliate with lilac and duck egg blue hair comes up to you and hands you a poster. It has two photos of a guy called Etho. One looks animated and the other is of him sitting in Bdubs basement, legs up, reading a book called “How to deal with your identical twin.” You also enjoy MCC a lot. 

Virgo: You are part of the Kakashi affiliate group and you have cupcakes with you. It has Ethoslabs’ face on it. It is lemon and rose flavoured with elderflower buttercream. It is Bdubs approved. 

Libra: You are a Pearl affiliate. MCC is way too early, so you tough it out with 10 cups of caffeine, one shot of sriracha, one cup of peppermint and an Etho cupcake. People fear for your mouth. Why? Because you have drunk stuff that has made people build for months. 

Scorpio: You are the underpaid food service worker. The people who work with you ALL claimed to be sick. You are now being paid quadruple your normal wage of 50 diamonds. Nice.

Sagittarius: You have been randomly selected to be the person tagged at the end of TGTTOSAWAF. You decide to wear a suit and tie and bring a deck chair cause you don’t know how long it will take them. 

Capricorn: You are on first aid. You know how to deal with injuries and are on call for when they stab each other. If some people get really bad, you force a respawn on them. You also make sure that you have grease and oil for those with mobility aids. You also have anything and everything people would need. You don’t get paid. :)

Aquarius: You got to help create the games this time. You were in charge of hiding a photo of each of the crew. You’ve done it and people will not see it. :( SO, you have replaced the cats so they will notice. You changed them so there are missing photos. Hopefully you won’t be fired. 

Pisces: You give a flyer to this person who’s looking very lost. Like, the lost you get when you are told that Etho is not Kakashi and that The Overseer is not paid (please donate in the donation box in the entrance way). You have also brought a friend to grip onto when it gets rough.

All star signs: Comment who you think will be ranked with the most deaths this MCC!

*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you. However the team you are rooting for may loose… just like in The Ashes or the Soccer World Cup

Hermits' MCC Statistics

By Ilea

In the light of recent events (Etho in MCC) we here at Overseer come with a spreadsheet of all the prowess that all the Hermits have shown us in MCC!

From iJevin in MCC 1 to Etho joining just now in MCC 33 Hermits have shown us a variety of skills, gained new names and became a nightmare for some other players. You may think that they all are great at Buildmart, yet their statistics have us corrected.

Basically this is a Hermits in MCC appreciation post and an introduction to the spreadsheet, present right underneath. To all the nerds: Enjoy!

View the MCC spreadsheet here!

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A  statue of a crocodile This statue is one foot in length and appears to be made out of marble. It is painted with a set of gray and green shades. It makes an excellent large paper weight for our many MCC notes from previous championships that are being compiled for Ilea.

Item 2: Bouquets from Nox’s Flowers and Sculk Clearing These four bouquets include tulips, chrysanthemums, peonies, delphiniums, hyacinths, orchids, and calla lilies. They are tied with multi-colored bows and each have 15% off coupons for sculk clearing attached to them.

Item 3: A very old poster of a science fiction rock band Found in Scarland, this poster features a lead singer in a full metallic costume, a keyboardist in armor akin to the Star Wars storm-troopers, and a Wookie-like drummer. The year 1981 is printed at the bottom of the poster next to the name Halyx printed in a large block font. One of the staff members suggested that it may belong to someone who collects various theme park paraphernalia, perhaps a staff member of the park or Scar himself, however, the staff cannot be certain.

Item 4: Medical research notes regarding sculk infections and Wardens These medical notes were found sixteen blocks from the Sculk Research lab. They state that it is very likely that Wardens may thrive off of the sculk rather than succumb to its damage. The notes also discuss a symbiotic relationship between the Warden and the sculk itself, while also stating limitations on enchantments.

Item 5: A pack of greeting cards These greeting cards depict various mobs, all with phrases related to celebrating birthdays of different ages. Some of them are for children, others for teenagers, and a few of them are for adults.

Item 6: Two giant Gnome Depot skeleton sets These skeleton sets are the 50-foot variety. One of them appears to be partially sculk-infected. The other one is covered in glowstone dust. It appears to have been covered with glue and sprayed with glowstone dust. Both of them have glowing diamond eyes.

Item 7: A lifetime rocket supply coupon This coupon’s right side is slightly burnt off, likely from a nearby launched rocket. It is unclear which shop or outlet will accept this coupon, as the burnt side makes the details unreadable. It may be acceptable at iBuy, but this is uncertain.

Item 8: A pixel art clipboard for sporting events This pixel art clipboard has about a dozen sheets of statistic charts for an upcoming sporting event, pleasantly color-coded and easy to read for the untrained eye to sports.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are brought to you by Lydia!

And that's all for this week folks! Wish you a wonderful time with the upcoming MCC, remember to cheer for Etho! Have a great week!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 29, 11/01/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be cloudy and windy.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 3 degrees. Skies will be mostly sunny, though there is a chance of passing light showers later this afternoon.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 6 degrees. Rain will be prevalent throughout the entire day.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 11 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. Skies will be persistently cloudy and rainy until the early evening, in which stars may be visible after 8:00.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 16 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be hazy with no precipitation today.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 14 degrees and a low of 6 degrees. Skies will be mostly rainy with occasional passing thunder, but Bdubs will promptly sleep it away.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 5 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear today with occasional haze.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 8 degrees and a low of 0 degrees. Skies will be cloudy today with a very, very low chance of snow in the early afternoon.

Now onto other news under the cut!

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A recording of a musical performance This recording of a musical performance appears to have been made in a modern theater of an amateur singer accompanied by a very small orchestra. She is a mezzo-soprano and sings a song from an unknown cartoon show. Audience members are heard applauding raucously and join in singing with her towards the end of the four and a half minute recording. Although there is a cartoon listed on the disc, it is not one that contains any music resembling that of the recording.

Item 2: A map of a discount department store This department store, modeled off of a common American version, holds a majority of unusual items according to the map, covered in copious scribbled notes. Sections listed include: cleaning supplies for extraterrestrial bugs, medicine for those undergoing mutations, large plush items of undiscovered creatures, living mannequins, Knick-knacks and display items of insufferably round shapes, DVDs of mildly crude mutant media, and muscle strengtheners for fatigued legs.

Item 3: A personal essay about living alone in old age This treatise appears to have been written by an elderly denizen of a highly populated town in the grasslands, and states the pros and cons of living alone in old age, and the societal changes that have performatively reduced the stigma of elders not being married. The author states that although progress has been made to support unmarried citizens, it is not enough on a substantial level to prevent countless others from bombarding them with pitying and sometimes hostile statements regarding her lifestyle as an unmarried and childless elder, with no one to call their grandchild nor younger relatives to ensure their health is overseen at ninety-six. The author has noted that they have many relatives and friends who ensure that they are not living in a lonely state, but these companions still struggle to comprehend their staunch independent lifestyle.

Item 4: A copy of Charles Addams: A Cartoonist’s Life This copy of a biography of Charles Addams, creator of the newspaper cartoon that would later become the famed fictional Addams Family, delves into heavy details about the cartoonist’s early life, dating history, artistic passion, and career history. While it focuses heavily on his personal romantic relationships, it also offers observations upon who he must have been among friends and colleagues, with personal accounts from these figures in his life. Noted to be easy-going, jovial, and passive in his marriages (one of which became abusive towards him due to his spouse’s enactments of psychological and physical abuse), he was beloved by many people as one who took interest in each person he met. He was stated to have had a way of making them feel important and listened to, regardless of if others would brush them off due to gender expectations at the time.

Item 5: A list of insults This list is handwritten in heavy pencil and records several insults taken from various video games according to the note on the top. Whether all of these games are real is unknown. The listed insults include the following:

You were never burdened with intelligence, but your load seems especially light, today.

Your ass is jealous of your mouth because of how much shit comes out of them.

You make shit look like Beyoncé.

I could bash your head in with a sledgehammer and you’d be so high you wouldn’t even feel it.

Oh, look, it’s mommy’s eldest mistake!

Think you’re a person because you’re walking on two feet?

You’re running your mouth because your lymphedema-ridden legs are too useless to get you anywhere! (Under breath) Useless whale of flesh.

If you tasted anything with even a hint of spice, you would have a heart attack and die!

I heard your reaper refused to take you. Your soul is so rancid, they threw up upon looking at you!

You have more earwax than brain matter!

Why would your gods love you when no one else does?

Think you’ve won the genetic lottery? Cute. You’re suffering delusions of adequacy because your ears are longer than your dick. (Alternatively) You’re suffering delusions of adequacy because your ears are larger than your brain.

Item 6: A can of raviolis This Chef Boyardee can of raviolis was found unopened near Tango’s Deep Frost Citadel, Pictures of crabs have been placed on the can and are depicted raising their claws in the air. The miniature raviolis inside have already been eaten by the staff, but if you would like to reclaim your can, please feel free to do so, and thank you for the free snack!

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia!

That's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful November!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 14, 7/19/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Bi-Weekly Overseer HQ Report

By Nes, art by Z

Welcome back to another normal issue of The Overseer, and with it our Bi-weekly HQ update! In this article, I like to run through the mayhem and mishaps that have occurred in the Overseer HQ these past few weeks. I hope you enjoy our antics as much as I do.

First up on the list, last week we discovered the office has a basement! Why Roo never informed us of this is unknown, but there were lots of amazing finds down there, such as an old school globe which is now proudly presented in my office. Is it accurate to the modern borders? Absolutely not, but it looks cool.

Additionally, alongside our cat infestation, we also appear to have a rat colony living in Roo's office. They’re allegedly stealing all his homemade pizza. How do you have a cat and rat infestation at the same time? We here at The Overseer aren’t sure, but we sure have managed it. Thankfully, the rats seem contained to the one office and have not caused any troubles outside of their pizza heists. I personally vote to allow them to stay.

I’m sure you’re waiting for me to address the elephant in the room, and I’m glad you’re just as excited about the new coffee machine as everyone else in the office is. As a non-coffee drinker, my opinion towards it is neutral, but writers, artists, and proofreaders alike are overjoyed at the addition. The old machine was from the 80’s and tasted like mold according to a writer. The new one is much more modern. 

Lastly, the most important news of the week: The Overseer’s fursona would be a raccoon. 

Thank you for tuning in to this week's issue of the Bi-weekly Overseer HQ Report. We need a new name for this due to that one sucking, but I don’t have the time to fix it. Have a lovely rest of your week, and see you next time!

Now onto other news under the cut!

Affiliate Happenings

By Roo

Docm77: It appears that he is very creature-shaped. Maybe this creature likes eggs.

GoodTimesWithScar: Mistakes were, apparently, made, but Scar is also simply a creature, so he cannot be blamed for this.

Grian: Mumbo has turned into a redstone-powering helicopter. The fact that this happened in the Grian affiliate channel is ignored.

ImpulseSV: He is so small. A little guy. Creature, even.

JoeHills: (Only slightly concerned that this bit has been going on for months) Joe Hills.

MumboJumbo: Please let me never see realistic Minecraft Mumbo again. Mumbo affiliates, I am begging you.

ZombieCleo: Forbidden cinnamon roll bath bomb. I'm sorry, what?

Weekly Weather Report

By Nes

Temperature is depicted using Celsius. Sorry, Americans.

Thursday - Clear skies are expected for Thursday with a high of 21, and wind is looking to be minimal with high humidity. Clouds are expected to come in during the afternoon, with the chance of rain being moderately high around dinner time. Be sure to apply sunscreen before going out for the day, and pack an umbrella or rain jacket if you expect to be out in the late afternoon.

Friday - Cloudy skies and rain are expected to arrive early Friday morning, with a high of 10 and strong winds. Flying is not advised in these conditions, however, you should be able to perform outdoor work if needed. Rain will last throughout the day and is expected to become worse in the evening.

Saturday - Rain continues into Saturday with a high of 11. Areas of the server may experience thunder and dangerously high winds. Citizens are urged to stay inside and save water in case of a power outage. A storm is expected to last the entire day.

Sunday - Thunder is expected to continue into Sunday and spread across the entire server as rain continues, a high of 12 and strong winds will accompany the storm. Once again, citizens are advised to stay indoors until the rain clears in the late evening.

Monday - Cloudy skies and light drizzles are expected with a low humidity and moderate winds and a high of 16. It is now safe to leave your home, and there are crisis services available if your property was damaged during the storm.

Tuesday - Cloudy skies with a bit of sun and a high of 21 is expected Tuesday, humidity will be moderate and winds low. This is an optimal day for outdoor work and citizens are advised to take advantage of it.

Wednesday - Clear skies return to close out the week with a high of 27, humidity is moderate and winds are breezy. A perfect day for the beach, so grab your swimsuits and head on down!

ArtFight Citizen Artwork

By Lydia

With the month over halfway through, participants of both the Citizen Hub and the annual ArtFight competition, held from July 1st to July 31st, have been vigorously creating digital and traditional art pieces for this special event. As we have observed a significant amount of pieces depicting Citizens of the Server, this article features a collection of portraits, many of which are drawn by your fellow participants, as we have progressed through the competition.

ArtFight is an artwork gifting game focusing on celebrating original characters created by internet users of all genres. Taking place during the same month every year, the concept began in 2007, although the website that hosts the event, ArtFight.net, did not come to fruition until 2016. Upon entry to the competition, all participants are divided into two teams, each with different themes for every year. This year’s teams are the Vampires and the Werewolves, and in previous years have featured the themes of Bloom and Wither, Sugar and Spice, Dream and Nightmare, Magic and Technology, Sun and Moon, and Land and Sea, to name a few. Participants then place their original characters on their profile that they would like to receive artwork depicting, and will create pieces for others who have done the same. 

Points are earned based on the number of art pieces created, the levels of character visibility, shading, and background work, as well as whether the pieces are drawn in return for a piece received. Artwork that a participant creates for someone else is called “Attacks” and artwork that is received from other artists is called “Defenses.” A piece drawn in return for someone’s attack on a participant is called “Revenge.” With the current standings, the Werewolves team is currently taking a very large lead, though the exact points expectedly change each day.

Some participants of both the Server and the competition have chosen to feature their Citizens as characters in their ArtFight profiles. Due to the surrounding enthusiasm that has developed regarding participants’ Citizens and their respective artistic depictions, competitors have seized the opportunity to share their artistic visions for twice the benefits. During this month, artists are both bringing joy to the strangers, acquaintances, and companions that they have met and are racking up points for their teams. Artwork depicting a Citizen that was not created by the artist is not uncommon and has been swiftly making the rounds since the first month of the Server’s existence in April. Our gregarious community took no time at all to become enthralled with each others’ creative voices. With the incentive of ArtFight, however, The Overseer staff members believe that this is the perfect time to showcase this particular flavor of Citizen depictions. 

If you are interested in signing up for this year’s ArtFight, it is not too late! With the final day being July 31st, there is still plenty of time to join. ArtFight welcomes artists of every skill level, from novices, hobbyists, and youths to professionals in their artistic careers. Unfortunately, if you do not have an account, you will not be able to view anyone’s profile or artwork from the website itself. It is believed that the purpose of this inaccessibility to outsiders is meant to prevent data scraping, but the true motivation remains unknown. Despite the inconvenience, it is not required of a user to participate in any ArtFight competitions to have an account.

View the collection here!

This collection is organized in chronological order with the exception of a final piece featuring many Citizens at once, and the time-frame ranges from July 1st to July 17th of this year. Each piece depicts a Hermit Citizen in some way, shape, or form, according to each artist’s interpretation. The Overseer hopes that all recipients of the artwork have enjoyed seeing their Citizens through an alternate lens! We commend all of the efforts that each artist has contributed to shaping their pieces into their idiosyncratic depictions of each Citizen showcased in this exhibition.

Astrology Corner

By Lydia

Do you feel you are lacking guidance? Do you look up your birthday and star sign and wonder, “What travels await me? Will I come into a windfall of a resource I’ve been looking for? Will my weekend be exciting or mundane?” Do not worry. Here at The Overseer, we can help.

*Ignore how specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you.

Aries: You will visit the thrift store in the near future. Inside, you will find many artifacts that you have previously dreamt about. If you choose to buy any of them, you will feel a euphoric burst of creativity.

Taurus: You will attend a fishing trip during the coming weekend. You will catch several types of fish, and if you choose to release any of them, you will receive a stack of potions of water breathing.

Gemini: You will attend a small folk concert in the near future. The band’s music will be very clearly amateur. If you choose to stay through to the end of the concert, someone you meet there will reveal a secret about The Watchers to you.

Cancer: You will attend a carnival featuring a new ride. It will be advertised as a “tour through hell” but perfect for thrill seekers. If you choose to ride it, you will gain a lifetime pass to Scarland.

Leo: You will meet a private eye detective investigating the Listeners organization. They will ask for your assistance in helping them sabotage a plot by The Watchers in a Life Series. Should you choose to accept, you will find yourself deeply emotionally attached to another contestant.

Virgo: You will be asked to volunteer as a janitor for a local restaurant. If you choose to accept it, you will find yourself in a scheme in which you are desperately trying to cover up the restaurant’s many health code violations.

Libra: You will find yourself on a winning streak at the local arcade. Just when you earn enough tickets to win yourself something exciting, whether it be a particular piece of artwork, a load of diamonds, or a rare artifact, you will be chased by several children at the arcade for your tickets. There will be approximately 20 of them. Good luck outrunning them all!

Scorpio: You will embark on a tour of all of the castles on the Server. You will be asked to give a full summary of everything you have learned about them to both Cleo’s and Cub’s museums. You must choose one museum to lie to and one museum to tell the truth to. Choose wisely!

Sagittarius: You will soon find a bowl of fruit at your doorstep. If you choose to eat it, you will find yourself levitating approximately ten inches off the ground at different times of the day for the rest of the week.

Capricorn: You will go to the beach on your next day off and encounter several abandoned metal detectors, seemingly all defective. If you choose to attempt to repair any of them, several local beachcombers will pay you a handsome fortune.

Aquarius: You will find several travelers attacking mobs in a Nether fortress. They will offer you some of their loot if you are able to stay and help them over the next few days. If you choose to accept, you will awaken on the final day to find that they all appear faceless and many inches taller, and will offer you protection in future times of trouble.

Pisces: You will encounter a very chatty hairdresser over the weekend who will offer to give you a free haircut. They will show you photographs of all of their previous haircuts, all of which will appear quite bizarre to you. If you choose to accept their offer, you will find yourself able to understand a handful of common mob languages.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: An assortment of items made from chicken feathers Due to the incident of Poultry Man’s influx of chickens, various items have been created using chicken feathers, whether they are practical or not. These items include a feather duster, a collection of quill pens that do not write very well, two feather boas, a feather fan, and many fishing flies. They were found scattered all throughout the Server, including Doc’s base, the Shopping District, the Birdhouse, and the Sculk Research Center.

Item 2: A lamp depicting a mermaid sitting on a conch shell This lamp takes the form of an orange conch shell that stands approximately six inches tall and features an ivory sculpture of a plus-sized, curly-haired mermaid sitting on top of it holding a small anchor. It was found near Atlantis but was not claimed by anyone for the last five days. Our staff members stated that they can hear unsettling whispers in gibberish when standing near the lamp. They also state that they believe it moves when no one is looking. Please, somebody, claim it.

Item 3: A postcard with a photograph of a sailor on the open ocean This postcard depicts an Albatross Avian sailing on a very small boat. The boat’s sail is made of sewn patchwork, and the sailor appears with an enthused expression, leaning back to catch the wind. The written note on the postcard states that the Avian owns a shop called Surf and Sky, and mentions their vested interest in all things related to sea animals.

Item 4: A collection of 1970s patterned clothing A collection of outfits featuring shirts with large, geometric asymmetrical patterns, bell-bottomed pants, large round-tinted sunglasses, brown vests, and flower-patterned bandannas were found scattered throughout the Scarland ride areas. The staff had a fun day playing dress-up with these costumes, but it is time for us to return them to their rightful owner.

Item 5: A sword named Roastisserie Blade Found on the Nether Roof, this wooden sword has Mending, Unbreaking 3, Sharpness 5, Looting 3, and Fire Aspect 2. It also has the scent of slightly burnt rotisserie chicken. The staff concludes that it must have made for an interesting spit to roast such a meal.

Item 6: A list of criteria of base accessibility and a photograph of a moth person This list was found near Impulse’s Dwarven Keep, filled with check marks and written notes regarding this particular base. Attached to it was a photograph of a green moth person with purple eyes and a very dapper suit. They wear a relaxed smile and are holding a contour cane, and are lounging in a wooden chair. 

ADVERTISEMENTS

By Jamie

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Calling all rat exterminators! Chief Editor of the Newspaper, Roo, is in the midst of an invasion! Various rats aka the unpaid interns have come in and started stealing their pizza! If you can help and/or want some freshly nibbled on pizza contact Roo today.

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This week’s meeting is for the gardeners AND gamers! Meet up with the gardening club this Friday for an exclusive tour of Joe’s pinball machine. Daisies are required for entry.

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Here at the Scar Safety Service we are here for YOU. We can help with any of your base-protection needs from fighting off hordes to cleaning up creeper holes.

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All possible deaths during the cleanup process are defaulted as the fault of the base’s owner. The SSS recognizes the hazards of the job and will not be paying for them.

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Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week folks! Thank you so much for reading and have a lovely week!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 30, 11/08/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 8 degrees and a low of 0 degrees. Skies will be cloudy today with a very, very low chance of snow in the early afternoon.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of -4 degrees. Skies will be cloudy with snow coming during the early morning and passing by the late afternoon.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 5 degrees and a low of -9 degrees. Snow will persist throughout the entire day. Laugh tracks may play at random times throughout the day. Using earplugs is highly advised by the staff of The Overseer.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 2 degrees and a low of -13 degrees. Skies will be clear but very windy today at approximately 45 miles per hour.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 4 degrees and a low of -8 degrees. Skies will be overcast and winds will continue at approximately 30 miles per hour.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 7 degrees and a low of -2 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout most of the day until later in the afternoon. Snow is possible.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 6 degrees and a low of -9 degrees. Skies will be heavily cloudy throughout the day with occasional bouts of snow.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 3 degrees and a low of -11 degrees. Skies will continue to stay overcast and snow will fall heavily, reaching approximately 15 inches by the end of the week.

Now onto other news under the cut!

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A picture frame This picture frame is made with a gold border with intricate leaf designs, appropriate for the fall season. It was found near Gem’s Elven Village and hums when placed in direct sunlight. Anything placed inside has been mysteriously disintegrated within the next five minutes. The staff has used this as an opportunity to rid their office of all citations given to them from the Office of Unofficial Documentation for being a general public nuisance over the past several months.

Item 2: A bottle of bird medication A bottle of Psittamune APV was found among Grian’s large rocks with a small syringe for administering to presumably very small birds such as parakeets. The bottle has never been opened and sits with the syringe in a plastic bag.

Item 3: A sympathy card This sympathy card has an unknown intended recipient, but the official printed message inside expresses condolences for the passing of one’s grandmother. Inside, several people have signed the card expressing further condolences, with the exception of one person who did not sign their name, who wrote, “Happy Birthday!” instead, in thick letters.

Item 4: A letter from a professor of animation This letter, addressed to a group of college students taking an unknown class, is written by a professor unknown to the staff, signed, “Prof. Lansbury” and delves into the subject of re-animating corpses, rather than focusing on the medium of artistic cartoon animation. The letter expresses caution towards the practice and implores the students to mind their steps carefully. It also asks the students to precede the rituals with the following sentence: “Will a re-animated corpse enjoy the artistic work I have to offer?”

Item 5: A copy of Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate, M.D. This book, centering on the origins and treatment of ADHD, written by Gabor Mate, who himself has ADHD, was found in a Shulker box in Pearl’s alien forest. It is suspected to be an unsuccessful delivery, as delivery instructions are attached, but the name and address label has fallen off. The delivery instructions state, “Please take buttercream pie at the doorstep after dropping off our package. Enjoy!” Though its contents are unharmed, the shulker box was found splattered with alien viscera and human blood.

Item 6: Sixteen birthday candles that do not light These candles do not light despite the staff’s best efforts. They are in assorted colors and appear to have been taken from the local arcade. While there is no record of the server hosting parties for small children, it is nonetheless seemingly evident that a children’s birthday party was held near Joe’s pinball arcade, judging by the party hats and smatterings of children’s toys in the area.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

And that's all for this week folks! Have a wonderful week!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 18, 8/16/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Affiliate Happenings

By Roo

Grian: Old buildings? Moldy bread? Pterodactyls? What do the Grian affiliates not have?

Joe Hills: (This is never going to end, is it?) Joe Hills.

Mumbo Jumbo: More like Mumbo Jellyfish, am I right?

Pearlescentmoon: I think the day that the Pearl affiliates are not wet cats in the rain is the day we should all fear.

Now onto other news below the cut!

Remembering TFC One Year On

By Corundumcat

TW: Mentions of death. 

I think 2022 was really hard for the MCYT community, especially the Hermitcraft community. We as a community lost one of the most dedicated Hermits. One year on, not much has really changed and yet a lot has changed. TFC was one of the quieter Hermits who had a distinct style of gameplay and editing. 

TinFoilChef was born on June 29, 1959, and was aged 63 when he passed away. He lived in Tulsa, Oklahoma USA, and was a true Hermit. In the 1970s, he went off grid for about 10-20 years and was found working as a Pizza Hut employee. 

TinFoilChef joined Hermitcraft during Season 2, and played up until his death in Season 9. While many people did not see him interact with the other Hermits, he was always involved in the background. 

May he rest in peace. 

Helplines:

Guestbook for TFC

Obituary 

Grief Support

International Suicide Hotlines

Words on grief

Beyond Blue

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 25 degrees and a low of 12 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy throughout the entire day and evening.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 32 degrees with a low of 17 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day and clear up around the evening.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees with a low of 19 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 27 degrees with a low of 15 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with scattered showers throughout the day and brief stretches of sunlight.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 29 degrees with a low of 16 degrees. Skies will contain brief thunderstorms throughout the morning and clear up around the early afternoon.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 33 degrees with a low of 21 degrees. Skies will be mostly sunny, but humidity will be very high throughout the afternoon.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 31 degrees with a low of 19 degrees. Skies will have heavy downpours throughout the afternoon and evening after a clear morning.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 13 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny and very windy, though the evening will be mostly cloudy.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1. A clock made with jade and diamonds This clock, made with jade and diamonds, has four hands: one for the hour, one for the minutes, one for the seconds, and a fourth hand that seems to point in a different direction each time one sees it. An attempt was made to locate Bdubs to ask if it was his, however, he was not found.

Item 2: A brooch made from sturdy bone depicting a seahorse This brooch appears to be partially made with whalebone and depicts a seahorse made of pearls. It was found not far from Atlantis and shimmers in the light. It also appears to have been made approximately six years ago and was found covered in redstone.

Item 3: A very fancy journal This journal looks like it would belong in a library in an RPG. Inside of it are contents divided into three sections: travel logs, an unusual shopping & to-do list, and finely detailed architectural sketches that almost look like monochromatic photographs. In the middle of the book lies an elegant quill with a violet-midnight-blue gradient with a gold tip.

Item 4: A jar of blackberry and pomegranate jam This jar contains jam made from blackberries and pomegranate and has a label pasted over it depicting a very muscular, pale man with a small bowler hat, a white button down shirt, a rusty orange vest, and a band-aid over his nose. The label also advertises that the consumer will feel an intense increase of focus upon eating it.

Item 5: A case of dark blue lipstick This was found in Pearl’s Alien Base in a small treehouse among several notes regarding “Moon Magic,” a concept as part of a tabletop roleplaying game based upon Pearl’s biome. Aside from the basic premise and a few statistics concepts, no other notes were found.

Item 6: A round jewelry box filled with magenta powder This powder, rumored to enhance taste, is stored in a very light purple round jewelry box adorned with emeralds and citrines. It was found inside of Welsknight’s cathedral in a confessional booth. Parts of the booth itself were also covered in the same magenta powder.

Issue 7: A pair of brass knuckles These brass knuckles were found in the middle of the desert and appear to be very old with various marks of wear and tear on them.

Item 8: A chiller box of noodle kits This box contains a monthly supply of frozen noodle kits with many variations, including Frozen Soba, Pad Thai, Mie Goreng, Pho, Japchae, La Mian, Spaghetti Carbonara, Ramen, Kuay Tiaw, Cincinnati Chili, and many more. The box also comes with noodle toppings. The finder of this box has taken the extra copy of the recipe booklet.

Item 9: A TIE fighter drone This drone wields a knife, but the laser fires are fully functional. The controls are stuck on maximum sensitivity. It might be someone’s custom free cam.

NOTE: Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. We are also in need of window and wall repairs and the dodo is missing.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a lovely week :D

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 28, 10/25/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

New Life Series

By Roo

As many of you may know, a new life series started last Friday! For those of you who do not know, now you do. This season of the life series is the fifth, and we see many returning players and one new one!

The spoilers lying ahead will only detail the premise and the players that will be featured. If any of you want to hear about what happened in each person’s episode, go give it a watch! Now, there have been a lot of theories about what this season’s name, theme, and who would be in it- and the time for the big reveal has finally come!

This season is called Secret Life, and boy, oh boy, are there secrets! The life system this time is interesting, having returned to the three life rule, but each life has 30 hearts that do not regenerate. The only ways to regen hearts, with the exception of golden apples, is to complete secret tasks from the Secret Keeper, an ominous stone deity that is near the server’s spawn.

The majority of the life series rules have been changed- there is no boogeyman this time around, and hats have been allowed for only one player, the one player being Scar. Speaking of players, who is around this time? Our usual group of players are back, including Grian, Smallishbeans, Smajor, BigB, Etho, BDoubleO, PearlescentMoon, InTheLittleWood, GoodTimesWithScar, ImpulseSV, TangoTek, ZombieCleo, SolidarityGaming, and Skizzleman!

However, this season we have not one but two returning players, and, to everyone’s delight, one new player! LDShadowLady and MumboJumbo are both back for their second season, having participated in Last Life but none of the other seasons, and GeminiTay has joined the ranks, perhaps deciding that during her brief stint on Limited Life she didn’t kill Etho enough.

In the first session, many tasks were completed, many hearts lost, and many alliances formed (and broken!), and I think we all are looking forward to next Friday when we follow where everyone goes next. Happy life series, and happy watching!

Now onto other news below the cut!

This Week at The Overseer HQ: The Life Series, Murder Mystery Dinner Theater, and Halloween Preparations

By Lydia

The debut of the fifth season of The Life Series has seen a significant rise in activity among The Overseer staff in both their writing as well as their social lives. All of the staff members have been partaking in designing and buying different forms of Life Series merchandise and have made several predictions for who will be out first and who will end in the top seven left standing. Wanting to step outside of the office to participate in the server-wide ardor, the staff decided to try their hands at construction. Setting up makeshift outdoor movie theaters was not something originally part of this year’s plan, but the staff wasted no time in undertaking this project as quickly as possible. The staff was happy to spend the funds they’ve collected from their pickpocketing cats and rats to build digital screens near each neighborhood, as well as providing popcorn, pretzels, and a large variety of assorted candy for each one. The rats even offered to provide new pizzas to attendees who are willing to tip a few diamonds to The Overseer.

A murder mystery dinner theater was held last week by the staff to show off their acting chops and their practical effects skills, complete with a full set and gourmet food. Although the attempt seemed to be their shot to stardom, the reviews of the performances and special effects afterwards lampooned the show as “presented by actors that read their script with all the elegance of barely-literate, glue-eating seven-year-olds,” and “a spectacle that one simply cannot help but laugh at and throw the slop served to them directly at the stage.” Though the reviewers had expected the staff to give up the performance completely in a disheartened fashion, the staff instead decided to increase the number of their performances and make their tickets free to the public, believing that a big break must be coming for them eventually.

With Halloween approaching next week, the staff have finished designing their costumes and have decorated the office with an abundance of skeletons and the heads of various mobs. The staff has also been playing movies ranging from Halloween  favorites from the staff’s childhood to new slashers to more avant garde horror movies. Someone had recommended the movie Beau Is Afraid  and received mixed responses after the staff had finished it, many of them stating that they felt unnerved, fascinated, and deeply puzzled afterwards. The Halloween preparations have not remained contained merely to the office, and staff members who have taken an interest in the occult have gathered temporary clubs among the Citizens who are experts in summonings, ouija boards, raising the dead, and switching bodies with others. Some staff members have noted that this has been a riveting way to bond with their fellow Citizens, though others had found the processes too confusing, and stuck to making candy apples with them instead.

The Overseer staff hopes that you all have a very happy Halloween and thanks all of their readers for their ongoing support. Have an excellent holiday!

Affiliate Happenings

By Roo 

DocM: He’s a glowstick now, so if you see a glowing vaguely humanoid figure during the night, it is either Doc or something you should be only slightly less afraid of.

Grian: Please do not forget to feed your Grian during these trying times. Death game enrichment is enrichment, but Grians cannot survive off of that alone, so please remember to mix in some chaos daily.

JoeHills: Joe Hills (PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS REAL). (I love you, Joe Affiliates.)

Pearlescentmoon: Here is your reminder to make soup. Happy Wet Cat Wednesday to all that celebrate.

ZombieCleo: Please keep all small items and limbs secured. Enjoy your flight on Overseer Airlines. Cleo, I’m talking to you. Put your arm back on.

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 18 degrees and a low of 9 degrees. Skies will remain hazy as this condition intensifies.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. The haze will partially dissipate during the early evening hours.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 13 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Expect the haze to dissipate completely by the late morning hours and brief rain to follow for several hours.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 6 degrees. The rain will continue today with scattered winds and occasional whirlpools.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 11 degrees and a low of 3 degrees. Skies will be clear, but dust storms throughout all deserts will be prevalent today.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 14 degrees and a low of 5 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy today with occasional spiderweb clouds during the early afternoon.

Tuesday: Happy Halloween! Temperatures will reach a high of 16 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear with very low winds. A meteor shower will be visible during the evening hours, so bring your lawn chairs out and enjoy the sight!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be cloudy and windy.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A treatise regarding the strengths and weaknesses of each Life Series This treatise covers the comprehensive summary of each Life Series thus far and contains statistics in regards to Player deaths and the lengths of each season, as well as analytical details of viewership and audience engagement. The majority of the treatise covers the strength and weaknesses of each theme and how it affected each Player’s strategies and time management throughout each session, based of course upon what the writer sees as a mere viewer of the series.

Item 2: A script for a comedy sketch This comedy sketch appears to have been written by someone from an amateur vaudeville troupe, though the content of the sketch is rather modern, lampooning a new video game that came out just last month. The sketch features lines that insult the game’s stiff facial animations as well as its quests. A specific section highlighting the stringent lawfully aligned attitudes of the game’s characters.

Item 3: A group of Mason Jar Halloween-themed snow globes These snow globes contain depictions of popular Halloween movies, including Jason from Friday the 13th, Sally and Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas, Jigsaw from the Saw movies, Michael Myers from the Halloween franchise, and Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise.

Item 4: A collection of props from a carnival haunted house These props include a fake knife that squirts strawberry jelly out of its handle, a replica of the Freddy Krueger gloves using plastic, three fake machetes splattered with red paint, several dismembered fingers made from rubber and paint, and an amateurly-made puppet resembling Tango Tek dressed as a mad scientist made from papier mache.

Item 5: A jigsaw puzzle depicting Hermitcraft during the autumn This jigsaw puzzle comprises several screenshots of different Hermitcraft bases from this season in a wall of picture frames, all repainted with an autumnal palette. The puzzle itself has 750 pieces and staff members have noted that multiple copies of it have been sold in the Shopping District.

Item 6: An old jazz album This jazz album, Alleycat by Nucleus, came out in 1975 and was found just outside of Stress’s base. The cover depicts either a leopard or a cheetah running through a dilapidated apartment alley into a sliver of a desert depicted in a diagonal section at the bottom right of the cover with several small pools of water.

ADVERTISEMENTS

By Roo

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LIFE SERIES MERCH? THAT IS RIGHT, YOU CAN FIND IT AT YOUR LOCAL iBUY TODAY, FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF HALF OF YOUR SOUL! BUY TWO GET A FREE SOULMATE! No, this deal is not optional.

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Hi, um. Is this thing on? Yeah, the Lost and Found is overflowing. Please, people, come pick up your items. They don’t have to be your items, just please take them. Twinkly Trash doesn’t want to take the cursed items and honestly, we’re scared not to.

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MISSING PERSONS: THE SEERS OF THE OVERSEER Last seen in Issue 10. Favorite food is noted to be asks. If found, please contact Anon In the 14th Barrel to the Left on the Third Floor of iBuy. This is the floor where the sea lanterns are located. Please contact The Overseer as well, as they have also been searching for The Seers since Issue 10.

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Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia!

And that's all for this week folks! Happy Life Series!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 25, 10/04/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Affiliate Happenings

By Roo

Joe Hills: (Nearly said Joe Hills and I think that says a lot about me.) Joe Hills.

Mumbo Jumbo: Mumbo Mug… I now know what to get everyone I know for their birthdays. 

Pearlescentmoon: Happy Wet Cat Wednesday to all those who celebrate.

ZombieCleo: Everyone, go check out Cleo's clock tower game! It is very cool and not inspired by Life SMP Mafia in any way, shape, or form. 

Now onto other news under the cut!

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of -5 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day without any unusual effects. Temperatures are expected to become significantly cooler this week.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 8 degrees and a low of -3 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy throughout the day with spider web patterns during the sunnier patches.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 6 degrees and a low of -2 degrees. Skies will continue to be cloudy with light winds of 10 miles per hour.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 10 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. Skies will be sunny all day with minor skyquakes during the early afternoon.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 3 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny with whispering winds throughout the entire day.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 7 degrees and a low of -4 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day, with the rain variation being prismatic: falling in rainbow-hued drops.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 13 degrees and a low of 0 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout most of the day with a chance of thunderstorms in the early morning. Expect them to clear quickly if Bdubs is present.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 11 degrees and a low of -2 degrees. Skies will be sunny throughout the day with patches of pink and orange hues tinting all areas during the late morning.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A guidebook on couple’s therapy This guidebook, titled So, You’ve Gotten Married In Vegas was found near Welsknight’s cathedral and appears to have been written in the early 2000s. The binding is well worn and notes are scrawled in the margins of most of the pages. The advice inside appears to have been written by a person who absolutely despises their spouse and desperately wants to divorce them. It reads as less of a guidebook and more as an angrily written diary of someone with an on-and-off relationship with their spouse over the course of 5 years. Staff members have noted feeling ill at ease when reading this book and have the strong urge to pawn it off to the nearest shop that will take it.

Item 2: A baseball card of Honus Wagner Perhaps the most confusing object dropped at the lost and found, this card was found near Impulse’s base and appears to be autographed by the late baseball player himself. It glows in the dark and has been said to whisper prices to anyone who holds it, seemingly random high numbers with no other context other than perhaps what the card could be sold for in another place.

Item 3: A painting of three women asleep at a table This painting appears to have been created sometime between 1982 and 1991, and depicts three women at a 1950s restaurant snoozing away at a colorful table filled with hamburgers, french fries, milk shakes, and waffles. The painting itself is drawn to mimic the cubist art style, and contains vivid colorations of the food more so than the people in the painting.

Item 4: A key ring full of ornate keys This key ring contains approximately 40 keys that are all designed in the style of 1400s French decor. It is unknown what they open or how they were acquired, but staff members have been using them to attempt to open everything that they are able to get their hands on.

Item 5: A kitschy cat wall clock This black cat wall clock has two eyes that tick back and forth in keeping time, as well as a swaying tail. Staff members have noted occasional meowing coming from the clock as well, and the office cats have plotted to see it destroyed over the next few days. If you would like to take this off of our hands, please do so quickly!

Item 6: Two bottles of hand sanitizer These large bottles of hand sanitizer were found near Pearl’s base, each filled half way. They have no unusual qualities and staff members have been using it as well, noting that it has a pleasant perfume mixed in as well.

Fun and Games

This weeks fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 11, 6/28/2023 - The Overseer

This week’s news is once again accompanied by a PDF version of your latest news brought to us once again by the lovely Cheer! Pick it up right here for your viewing pleasure!

The Masquerade!

By Lydia

[Content Warning: Mask Imagery]

[Photographer: Erik Oqvist]

All Hermit Citizens were cordially invited to attend the first formal social event of the year, The Masquerade, hosted by The Garden Club. Depending on the location of each participant, this black-tie event began on either the 23rd or 24th of June, with the chosen venue being The Astral Library in The Nether. The event is still currently taking place and will do so for the remainder of the week, until the 29th or 30th of June, depending on each participant’s time zone. The attendance at The Masquerade rose quickly, with each guest arriving for a night of misdirection, intrigue, celebration, and revelry. Each Citizen seized the chance to show off the incredibly detailed designs of new costumes that many had never debuted before, with each design created by the hands of our exuberant participants.

The Astral Library is a Nether Hub built by Tango Tek, known often for his unsurpassed technical skill. Here, he demonstrates his abilities not only as a diligent engineer but an aesthetically well-versed builder, though he may not speak of it often. With a great number of floors and bookshelves lining the walls and a clear tone of fantasy-centered academic whimsy, The Nether Hub is an ideal choice for an event with a long history of high-society traditions. Sections of The Astral Library used for The Masquerade were divided into the North Gate, the East Gate, the South Gate, the West Gate, the Giant Warped Fungi, and the Purpur Pavillion. The North Gate served as a dimmed area for those sensitive to light, adorned with two misaligned stairs. The East Gate, marked by red stained glass, held a photography booth with amethyst buds to provide an ideal backdrop for Citizens to have their picture taken. The South Gate, marked with lime-stained glass, held the majority of food, as well as a bubbling lava pool for those who needed to stay warm. The West Gate, marked by yellow stained glass, held balconies, open floors, and jukeboxes for those who wished to share their dance moves. The center of the Astral Library held a twisted Giant Warped Fungi and two small pools. Finally, the Purpur Pavillion released its frozen stream to provide an excellent scenic view of the empty void.

The event featured high-end catering provided by many of the Citizen Shop owners who have perfected their culinary skills long before this grand task, one of them being Azelea, the owner of The Lush Cave. These included but weren’t limited to brownies, scones, flan, cupcakes, finger sandwiches, cheese boards, veggie platters, coffee, tea, fruit juices, and water. The event planning team constructed the pools around The Astral Library to accommodate Citizens who are aquatic dwellers, with specifications made for both saltwater and freshwater. Another potential candidate for The Masquerade was either Cub’s Museum or Cleo’s Museum, but neither was chosen due to the heavy preference by most participants for The Astral Library and for the accommodation hosting a party with more attendees than the museums are capable of holding.

While our modern Masquerade centers upon the current trends of fashion, music, and dance, it is known to everyone that Masquerades have a long and storied history. Masquerades are believed to have begun sometime during the Middle Ages as part of a set of Pagan practices, with this one specifically called “Carnival,” involving abbots and bishops cross-dressing and performing a mock Mass accompanied by dancing. The word “carnival” is derived from “carne,” meaning “meat,” denoting the celebration of pleasures related to the subject, both literally and metaphorically. After the ban on Carnival took place during the Protestant Reformation, a new form of Masquerades came to light in the Feast of Fools, a phenomenon that took place during several days leading up to Ash Wednesday, as it implied that for the next several weeks, those who were members of the Catholic religion would avoid any pleasures related to the “Carne” itself. 

Masquerades from the Parisian Carnival are often the most sought-after versions in terms of imagery often seen in popular culture today, with references to Parisian theaters, dance halls, masked balls, and operas. Along with the Parisian Masquerades came the introduction of the lithographic process. The cost of printing more newspapers sank significantly due to the rotary press allowing the newspaper companies to print more papers with advertisements of this new invention. Masquerades also took place during the Revolution of 1848 in France, after having been banned during the French Revolution during the previous century, having been present during these various eras and further solidifying the traits of rejecting social hierarchies for its duration and dressing in striking clothing.

With the Hermit Citizen version of the Masquerade having been planned since April 24th, many participants had been creating their Citizen’s costumes and masquerade masks and sharing them in the artistic areas of the Servers before the event took place. These costumes, designed with innovative artistic visions, included many variations upon the classic masquerade masks made in the style of the Venetian Carnival masks, as well as an abundant collection of self-designed gowns, suits, and combinations of both. Participants sent their Citizens strutting down the famed Red Carpet during The Masquerade to demonstrate their handiwork. For those Citizens who are still searching for a hand-made Masquerade costume, two of the Citizen Shops, Raidne’s Tailor Shop and Spider & Co. Clothing Store, are more than ready to assist any patrons of fashion design. An article written by Nes further covers the many outfits worn by your fellow Hermit Citizens.

Our Head of Staff, Roo, debuted their costume first on the Red Carpet, kicking off the event for the rest of the Hermit Citizen Hub. Z, Jax and Ash, Alistair, Phantom Irene, Cirrus, City, Golden, Winter, Nerd, KP, Erina, and Flayre followed. The rest of the attending Hermit Citizens also gracefully debuted the craftsmanship of their respective Server Participants, eagerly searching for their companions of the past few months. The Masquerade provided the perfect opportunity for new Citizens to acclimate themselves to the Server Community, and for older Citizens to meet new friends. 

Some who had met for the first time had not always been far from each other and took on the chance to familiarize themselves with former unknown neighbors as well as fellow members of their species. Z and KP had previously both lived in Chromia, but had not met until the event had begun. KP had recognized Z’s artistic talent and penchant for baking sweets. Emi and Cirrus, who had both visited The Birdhouse but had not crossed paths until The Masquerade, waltzed together in the first two-person dance of the event. Faces that had been hidden from the view of the Server for an extended period also made appearances at the soiree in their most sophisticated manners. Terra decided to create an illusion and use her magic to bring a familiar into being, earning her a small red dragon companion named Ares as her newfound pet. During the party, Caspian also provided on-the-move catering, offering drinks and sandwiches to the partygoers. We are certain all of the attendees appreciate your help, Caspian!

Some of the guests came intending to stir up the other attendees, such as Victor the Spider, who seized the opportunity to lightly scare two other guests, Z and Terra, shortly after arriving. He did, however, attempt to make nice afterwards with the group and with other guests, including Amethy and Twist. A mysterious Hummingbird Avian also attended and attempted to seduce Raven, much to the chagrin of her partner, Pen. On a humorous note, both the Hummingbird and Raven were created by the same Hermit Citizen Hub participant, allowing her to show off her mischievous side.

A night of revelry had simply become a temporary stage for The Sculkers and the continuation of their attempts to work through the troubles with The Watchers. While Ender welcomed Avid by bringing him to The Masquerade, Avid’s apprehensiveness was not unwarranted as many of the Sculkers are still reluctant to forgive him after he had caused an immense catastrophe, including mutilation and psychological trauma to the Sculkers over the past month before The Masquerade, and his attempt at redemption in their eyes. Whether he will be able to make amends in the future remains to be unseen, but he and Ender remain stalwart in their efforts to do so.

The more secluded corner of the Purpur Pavilion was used for tarot readings, with Cara demonstrating for a small group, inadvertently providing some much-needed emotional support for Pen. Speaking of sentimentality, Pen took a great step in their relationship with Raven, offering a promise ring to her to declare their undying devotion. The Purpur Pavilion also proved to be an excellent getaway spot for the romantic duos of the party, initially beginning as a place for anyone seeking a bit of privacy to becoming the perfect place to express their deepest affection for their romantic partners away from potentially prying eyes.

The Masquerade has become an elaborate backdrop for many to show off the current developments of their Hermit Citizens, and to capture in this moment their states of mind in the middle of many, many character arcs. The Overseer staff has greatly enjoyed being privy to such an enthralling first social gathering for the entire community. The staff hopes that all of our fellow Hermit Citizens have a wonderful time throughout the rest of the week, and wishes the best of luck to everyone in creating future events!

Now onto other news under the cut!

Weekly Weather Report

By Nes

Temperature will be presented in Celsius format, sorry Americans!

Thursday - Light rain is expected to last throughout the day with a high of 21. Wind should be moderate, and the night sky should be prime for stargazing with a lovely look at the moon which is in a waxing phase! Be sure to bring a rain jacket if you’re doing work outside.

Friday - The rain continues into early morning before clearing up into cloudy skies in the afternoon, with a high of 18. Tonight, the sky will be obstructed by clouds, making it difficult to see stars and the moon. There should be no issues with outdoor activity today!

Saturday - Beginning the day with a bit of dew and fog that will clear up by noon and let way to clear skies, there is a dry atmosphere with a high of 20. The sky will remain clear into the evening and the stars are expected to be quite bright. Due to the rather dry weather, it’s suggested you hydrate!

Sunday - Clear skies continue into Sunday and will last all day with a high of 28. Winds will return, giving a moderate breeze and there is a chance of summer showers in the afternoon as clouds move in to cover the sky. The night sky will be cloudy. It is a decent day to do work outside, just be careful of those showers!

Monday - Cloudy skies with high winds and a high of 16 are expected to last throughout the day, and the chances of the sun or moon peaking through the thick clouds is low. Not ideal building conditions, make sure to strap down anything lightweight to be safe!

Tuesday - Cloudy skies and high winds continue with a high of 18, it is likely this will develop into a category 2 hurricane by the evening. The Overseer advises you not to go outside, strap down any valuables, bring animals inside, ensure you have enough food and water in case power goes out, and stay safe!

Wednesday - Light rains will carry over to Wednesday before clearing up in the mid morning and revealing clear skies with a high of 21. The moon is expected to be visible in the evening and rather large. Not a terrible day to clean up any mess the hurricane made.

Throwback #2 Electric Boogaloo

By Ilea

Welcome back to the little trivia corner once again. I am once again Il and I am here to talk about the amazing trivia in the world of Hermits and Crafting. This time a story I have is about ecological horror, plans gone wrong and just the general story of the Goopy Geyser. 

On the server, there is an amazing area called the Donut. It can be seen from spawn, firstly, and was meant to be Mumbo’s base, then a shopping district, but now, it is the Empires Christmas area. However, when it was meant to be the shopping district, the specific place where all the shops were meant to be was a huge cave. We all know and love Joe Hills, and this story revolves around him just wanting to make a bubble elevator.

The cave was a lush cave, which meant that tropical fish would spawn in it, and that the bubble elevator made for the convenience of Hermits started spitting out massive amounts of tropical fish. Naturally, Joe made an attraction out of it and for some time, the nature in the donut was healing.

Sadly, it was taken from us with the update, but if you ever wish to experience the true nature noises, I could not recommend this video more.

Goopy Geyser, you will be missed and hopefully remembered by the random coordinate fishes that are found in weird places on the server to this day.

Astrology Corner

By Corundumcat

Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday and look up your star sign and wonder, “Have I eaten enough cake this week?” “Will I be cake-assigned this week?”  Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.*

Aries: a cake made up of cheese ( sorry to folk who are lactose intolerant)

Taurus: lemon drizzle cake

Gemini: ice cream cake 

Cancer: blackforest cake

Leo: lane cake

Virgo: chocolate crepe cake 

Libra: cinnamon mocha cake

Scorpio: cherry blossom and strawberry mousse 

Sagittarius: chocolate orange cake

Capricorn: Overseer cake 

Aquarius: matcha cake

Pisces: brownie cake

All star signs: Don’t worry, eat cake. 

*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: Several Stray Cats These cats include two Tabby cats, one Maine Coon, three Norwegian Forest cats, and one Turkish Angora. All of these cats are being well-cared for by our staff members who have an affinity for these creatures, which is the majority of those working here at The Overseer. If any of these cats are yours, please be careful when attempting to pry them out of the hands of our staff members. While the cats may not bite, the staff members may do so, as they have grown very attached to them.

Item 2: A dark magenta and gold Battle Hammer This battle hammer is almost as tall as the average Player and features an ornate design on its head plated in gold. The handle, in a dark magenta color, is meticulously painted, and the bottom of the handle is also plated in gold. The craftsmanship of this hammer appears forged from many years of carefully practiced skills, and we commend the creator for such excellently executed work! 

[This Minecraft Battle Hammer was created by Berry, who posted a photograph of it in the Media channel.]

Item 3: Posters advertising Sheriff Jimmy Solidarity-themed Popsicles Posters created and distributed by Azure were given to many Citizens looking for a tasty treat on Thursday morning, although some of these posters were found scattered around both Grian’s Base and Decked Out, but were not hung up. If you would like to pick up a poster, please visit The Overseer Headquarters and follow the directions to find yourself the perfect remedy on a hot summer day!

Item 4: Several photographs of The Astral Library during preparations for The Masquerade These photographs depict several areas of The Astral Library with decor set for The Masquerade, including pictures of the Giant Warped Fungi, several stories of library floors, the Purpur Pavillion, a set of open balconies, jukeboxes, a photography booth, and an open waterfall pouring down into the Void below it. No Citizens were depicted in these photographs.

Item 5: A pair of red high-heeled shoes and makeup A pair of very bright candy apple red stilettos in size 9 in women’s shoes were found in The Astral Library near the photography booth between the East Gate and the South Gate. A makeup set including dark red lipstick, smoky eye shadow, and liquid eyeliner was also found next to these shoes without anything to hold them. If these items are yours, we hope you had a glamorous night at The Masquerade, and commend your taste in both fashion and makeup.

Item 6: A men’s dress shoe partially covered with sculk A men’s brown leather dress shoe in a size 14 was found in the Purpur Pavilion. No one wanted to touch it without using a claw grabber as it appeared that the sculk could have been still active, shifting in various directions. The Overseer staff has kept it in a glass case and has been watching the Sculk slowly spread to overtake the entire shoe. Those in its vicinity have noted that they feel an overwhelming desire to try it on, but none have attempted to do so for fear of the sculk spreading further, and no one wants to make contact with it. If this shoe is yours, we will pay you several diamonds to take it away from us!

ADVERTISEMENTS

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Treat yourself today with two full stacks of Enchantea’s special tea for only one diamond! Buy one get one free for a limited time only! Located across the water from the Shopping District in a Birch tea cup!

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Looking for more tasty treats? Maybe a quick snack before your next big adventure? Well head on down to the Lush Cave bakery in the Shopping district to find a lovely shop with even lovlier treats!

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Please remember to fill out the Citizen Census form as it closes on the 28th! Don’t forget to fill out one form per citizen!

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Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week's news folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week.

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 24, 9/27/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

A Wedding in the Hermitcitizen Hub!

By Corrundumcat

Wedding bells chime out over the emerald rolling hills of Hermitcraft Season 9 as the Newspaper team and many other individuals come together to celebrate Nes, Alistair, and Roo getting married. There was a flurry of emotions in that chapel, some were understandable like Thorne preparing to crash the wedding photos and break every bone in his body, just for the bit. The sound of chatter was a cheerful murmur which could be heard for kilometers (sorry, Americans) around. The sounds of this wedding drifted through the Autumn evening. The evening’s events kicked off with The Overseer leading the guests into the cathedral and making sure everyone was seated and comfortable. The officiant of the wedding, Mr. Xisumavoid himself, looked slightly nervous. This reporter can only assume that it has been a hot minute since he officiated a citizen wedding. There was a slight wind and chill in the air. It was a brisk 19 degrees celsius outside with a slightly warmer 20 degrees celsius inside the cathedral. Once all of the guests were seated, the announcer Joe Hills themselves stepped up to the Microphone and gave a short Haiku welcoming everyone to the venue. As the Hermitcraft orchestra played the song “Exhale” from Sky Children Of The Light, The entire body of The Overseer minus Roo of course because y’know Roo’s the one getting married. Roo’s dress with a suit jacket was a deep midnight blue. If you looked closely you could see the stars from above glinting ever so slightly. Inside the jacket were the star maps of Hermitcraft as well as a paw print of one of the rats from the office. 

As is my understanding the colour theme was blues. So rather monochromatic. As the gaggle of a wedding party glided down the isle coloured light filtering down upon them. Nes and Alistair. Nes wore a stunning white to blue gown which in the coloured light glittered. The dress was like fairy floss with how floofy and puffy it was. Alistair’s suit complimented Nes' dress nicely. The wedding party all wore prismarine blue suits/dresses and carried blue bouquets. Azure walked down the aisle infornt of Nes and Alistair Variety throwing deep blue flowers. As the party walked up to the altar and peeled off to sit in the front row Roo, Nes and Alistair hugged each other. 

Next came the vows. They were all heart felt, some more comedic than others. 

And then they were married. In this moment of happiness it felt peaceful. 

When the wedding party went outside to take photos the wind picked up slightly to add to the atmosphere. The photos turned out great mostly and then there was one which ended up wonderful. 

… That was the one that Thorne photobombed. Thorne committed to the bit so much that if it wasn’t as hilarious and that he didn’t immediately respawn that this author would have been writing another obituary. 

The newlyweds gave each guest a small flower to keep in their bases. 

From the whole office, the server, the watchers, listeners and those in between we wish you three an amazing marriage. 

Now onto other news under the cut!

This Week At The Overseer HQ: Decked Out Schemes

By Lydia

After the wedding, the staff of The Overseer returned to their newfound temporary pastime of eagerly watching and making bets on their favorite Hermits’ runs of Decked Out. The betting pool began shortly before the debut of Decked Out, with the staff planning on keeping the scores in shifts so that they would all have time to partake in running the ostentatious obstacle course themselves. While the cats have decided to abstain from participating in the betting pool, the rats leapt at the chance to make their predictions known. The staff has wasted no time at all in their pursuit of both game victories and the bragging rights of predicting the Hermits’ results after each long session.

The Overseer staff’s runs of Decked Out have ranged from dying two minutes into the run to completing several games in a variety of methods, almost all of them involving them trying and failing to break the redstone, hiding in corners, and using sticky tack to attempt to climb the walls and ceilings. Citizens have noted their surprise that the staff has not yet been banned from the game, but the Decked Out Crew has stated that they find the staff “incompetently entertaining,” and “A hilarious display of a freakshow running through a dungeon.” Some staff members took this as a compliment and hatched an idea: charging citizens to watch them run recklessly through the course without a care to be seen. This idea was enthusiastically received with several tomatoes to their faces and boos from their fellow players. Undeterred, the staff continued to play the game with a considerably smaller audience watching them be hurled into the walls by Ravagers and psionically split in half by Wardens.

While the staff has been solely focused on Decked Out for the past few weeks, the rats of The Overseer testing their craftsmanship, creating a collection of Overseer merchandise and attempting to sell it for an exorbitant amount of diamonds to any passing Citizens. A few staff members who have caught wind of this have decided to fully invest in this scheme, adding their own embellishments and claiming that all of their merchandise has magical properties, though this is far from the case, as anyone who can detect magic would be able to tell unwitting citizens. Following suit to those who responded to the attempt to offer paid showings to audiences to watch the staff run Decked Out, those who had realized that the merchandise is not magical in nature took to throwing eggs at the building and staff members who had attempted to dupe them.

Dividing time between the ceaseless entertainment of Decked Out and the book keeping of The Overseer’s paper sales and merchandise has since resulted in an ever-revolving schedule based almost entirely on a Chore Wheel, with all of the recurring weekly article categories, cleaning days, and snack lists written in crayon on construction paper. It would be remiss to overlook the involvement of the rats in this endeavor, as they have been utmostly stringent in keeping the office space in its most polished condition. The staff noted how impressive it is that so many tiny paws could turn a cluttered miniature maze of offices (many without any walls) into a pristine, air-freshened, and perfectly uncluttered structure. The rats are paid handsomely with both diamonds and pizza, though they appear to only care for the guarantee of incoming pizza on a weekly basis.

Although the required volunteering stint at The Office of Unofficial Hermitcraft Documentation has ended for The Overseer staff, a few members of the newspaper had realized that they had taken a liking to working a second day job and had decided to stay, though they were encouraged by those in the office to be aware of their work-life balance and not to spend too much time hunched over their keyboards and creating communication devices. Some of the staff members who chose to take the extra endeavor noted staying because they enjoyed seeing the reactions of new citizens when asked a series of unrelated questions in particular, including but not limited to inquiries about the level of acid one could shoot from their fingertips, the potential reshaping of their wings should the Watchers desire it, whether they believe the Sculk infection will ever be cured, whether they have played that new video game everyone’s been raving about, and what their favorite biome delicacies are. Other staff members who have stayed have noted enjoying the benefits of the near daily doughnut breakfasts and have been stealing all of the extra doughnuts and special drinks to bring back to The Overseer Headquarters.

As the staff reaches the end of its update for this brief view into its members' lives, The Overseer would like to thank all of our readers for continuing to support our newspaper each week. We hope that you have a wonderful time reading our recurring issues and with Decked Out!

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 22 degrees. Skies will remain sunny throughout the entire day with low wind speeds. Clouds in the shape of spiderwebs will be scattered throughout the sky.

Thursday: Temperatures will become cooler throughout the rest of the week, reaching a high of 20 degrees and a low of 8 degrees today. Skies will remain fairly clear with a slight chance of more spiderweb clouds.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 22 degrees and a low of 10 degrees. Skies will have scattered showers throughout the afternoon, with a very high chance of raining amethyst shards throughout the day. Make sure to keep your head covered.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 19 degrees and a low of 7 degrees. Skies will be mostly sunny throughout the day with high winds.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 11 degrees. Skies will be mostly rainy today with low winds.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 9 degrees. Skies will remain mostly rainy with a very high frequency of psionic screeches throughout all areas coming from other dimensions. This is a good time to get some earplugs!

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear throughout the day, but whirlpools will be very frequent in all oceans.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of -5 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day without any unusual effects.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: Lost Cats These small gremlins may have escaped a laboratory. They are two Maine Coons that have been shrunken down to the size of two peas. They bite frequently and were found fighting off two rats, becoming the victors. They are in a tupperware terrarium the size of an average drawing tablet with air holes and chopped up cat food.

Item 2: A book of Hermitcraft landmarks This book seems to have been compiled to record materials and the building time spans for all of the large bases of Hermitcraft from Seasons 2 through 7. This book has a teal and green cover with a crude illustration of the Hermitcraft logo on the front.

Item 3: A knitted sweater This sweater says “Eat Your Cake” and has a depiction of a knife cutting a piece of strawberry shortcake with blood coming from it. There are two eyeballs depicted on the top of the piece. The rest of the sweater is a beige color with pastel stitching scattered throughout the base.

Item 4: A collection of old boots These pairs of boots come in all kinds, including working boots, hiking boots, leather boots, stiletto boots, snow boots, dress boots, rain boots, and horse riding boots. They come in an array of colors, including red, orange, blue, brown, black, green, and yellow.

Item 5: A jukebox disc that plays a series of different laughs This disc includes the laughs of hyenas, drunken partygoers, elated musicians, Decked Out Wardens, and of victorious players in MCC. Far from the mere stock laughter played in sitcoms, these laugh tracks sound as if they were recorded and edited in the style of The OKeh Laughing Record, which was recorded in Germany by Beka Records in 1920. Listeners report the disc giving them an eerie but not unpleasant feeling upon listening to it.

Item 6: A class schedule of nonsensical courses This class schedule contains a series of courses that do not appear to be based in any traceable science, arithmetic, literature, or language, nor do they appear to be rooted in any previously established form of Hermitcraft records. No name was found on the class schedule, although it appears to have been printed rather recently. No academic institution was found associated with the schedule, either. The courses include the following:

11:15 The Phainey System of the Brain 12:30 Digestive Studies of Owl Rats 1:15 Lunch 2:30 Rudimentary Math of Insectoid Brains 3:15 Advanced Literature of Imelda’s Pocket Dimension 4:30 Introduction to Helium Language 5:15 Dinner 6:30 Advanced Theatrical Memory Recollection

Item 7: A collection of Overseer Merchandise A collection of sweatshirts, watches, snow globes, sunglasses, socks, and tote bags with The Overseer logo was found in a large shopping bag just outside of Scarland.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 20, 8/30/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Updates on the Incident

By Azure

Recently, there have been many developments in the Incident with DocM77, Grian and Scar. Here is all that has happened thus far:

Due to a prank Doc pulled on Grian and Mumbo, causing one of Mumbo's vault doors to be damaged, the latter joined forces with Grian and Scar, forming the Buttercups, as the flower is toxic to goats. Their headquarters was a hippie style campsite with a pet sniffer. Doc would later form an alliance with RenDog.

 Additionally, two individuals known as Poultry Man and HotGuy showed their support for Grian and Scar by putting thousands of chickens in the Perimeter. Doc would later push back by putting thousands of chickens in Grian’s base, and decorating Scarland with Dragon Eggs.

The Buttercups then began to make plans to get revenge, with Grian building a “Live Laugh Love” sign on the walls of the Perimeter, causing Doc to decorate Grian’s base with Dragon Eggs. Both parties began building robots in case a battle were to ensue, and Doc built flying TNT cannons shaped like butterflies. Pearl built a dragon out of the Dragon Eggs.

Ren and Doc ended up attempting to spy on a Buttercup meeting but were found out, causing the Bot Battle to take place. Doc won after the Buttercups’ Bot backfired and was unable to do substantial damage to Doc’s Bot. Ren and Doc then proceeded to activate the TNT cannons, and the Buttercups rushed to sabotage the machines. They were successful, with minimal damage caused.

Furthermore, Ren and Doc attempted to explode the Buttercups’ campsite, causing them to relocate into a new base located in a cherry tree. At this point, Grian made the decision to cover the Perimeter in grass, a feat requiring over two thousand blocks of grass and dirt. 

Many people have pointed out that the motivational quotes were set to play near the Perimeter, with phrases such as, “This is the Goat’s world, you just live in it,” and “To make our great goat leader proud, never forget to Grind, Optimize and Thrive.”

The process of covering the Perimeter took over twelve hours, as they decided to terraform the area in addition to covering it. They were able to recruit the help of Gem, Impulse, Etho, False, Joe Hills, and Iskall, making it one of the largest collaborative projects on the server in recent months.

The Perimeter now blends into the surrounding landscape, safe for the flagpole, aided by the terraforming and the added trees, supplied by Xisuma. Once their task was complete, the Buttercups disbanded, recognizing it as the climax to the Incident.

Doc has since uncovered the Perimeter, and is making plans to get revenge on the Buttercups and their accomplices.

Now onto other news under the cut!

This Week At The Overseer HQ: Interior Makeover and Volunteer Work

By Lydia

The Overseer Headquarters has recently undergone a new interior makeover, with brighter paints for the walls and a collection of retro-future style furniture in red, blue, green, yellow, orange, and purple for the sofas, chairs, tables, and lighting. The staff originally wanted to change the style of the office due to the Server’s players taking on a resurgence of a 1970s fashion trend, but had later revealed that the real reason for the makeover was simply a need for a more invigorating workspace. In order to renovate the inside of the office, a few of the staff members managed to land a spot on a television show on HGTV with a professional interior design team. They took the chance to imitate all of the clients they had previously seen on the show, with every small complaint being blown up to greater proportions for the sake of entertaining television. They also spent the majority of that time attempting to convince the beleaguered show staff to wait on them hand and foot with very little success.

After the television excursion, The Overseer staff has also been sending its members to perform volunteer work over the past several weeks. With the ongoing influx of new Citizens, a large portion of the staff members have been spending their daytime outside of the Newspaper Office at the Hermit Citizen Orientation Office. Our staff members have assisted the very small orientation team in printing Citizen I.D. cards, distributing maps of the Server, giving out Shulker boxes of starter supplies, assisting in customizing communication devices, and answering frequently asked questions about the Server’s customs and environment. These questions often cover rudimentary introductory questions, such as the status of keeping one’s inventory on upon death, the most populated biomes, an overview of the Server’s clubs and affiliations, whether the Server is welcoming or hostile towards hybrids, and whether the Citizen count is high enough to qualify as a village, town, or city. According to our staff, they have enjoyed all of the free catering of buffet breakfasts and an endless supply of donuts provided to all workers and volunteers of the Orientation Office. This is by far the most favorable perk of helping out. The worst part of the job is the paperwork, specifically because many new Citizens do not like to reveal their species to the office, and will often give a placeholder for the category. While this is understandable, it is very likely that the records show a significantly higher population of non-hybrid humans on the Server than there really are.

While this stint of volunteer work has been helpful to both new Citizens as well as the orientation services workers, the real reason that the staff of The Overseer has been present here is due to the requirement to perform 200 hours of community service, in addition to cleaning up the mess they had made in preparation for MCC. While Hermitcraft does not operate on having a department to handle misconduct and will not do so in the future, the majority of the shop owners in The Shopping District had come to the conclusion that The Overseer staff should compensate the Server for the disruptive and rampageous mess leading up to MCC. This had resulted in almost all of the shops in the district having their wares recklessly broken and workspaces cluttered and trashed. The Overseer staff had agreed to clean and volunteer on the condition that they all receive very high discounts at all of the shops that had been affected by the MCC carousing.

Due to the staff dividing their time doing administrative work outside of the office, the newspapers over the past few weeks have been noticeably thinner. Someone attempted to ask the rats to take over some of the articles for them to no avail, as the rats would rather spend their time ordering and eating pizza and playing cards with each other than fill in for the writers and editors of the newspaper. The cats, on the other hand, have been given automatic pet feeding bowls and water dispensers, as well as having a staff member come in every few days to clean their litter boxes. They have also figured out how to turn on the large printer in order to preserve their favorite sunning spot.

This month marks the fifth month that The Overseer has been an active organization, and next week, staff members state that they will be able to celebrate sitting at the “Big Kids Table” upon reaching their twenty-first issue. Our staff hopes that you have had a very entertaining and relaxing week and would like to thank everyone who has been supporting and reading the newspaper.

Affiliate Summaries

by Roo (Not Pearl)

GoodTimesWithScar: When not running a theme park, being a master door, or decreasing the local horse population from the skies (in disguise), Scar is well known to ordain horse marriages and divorces.

Grian: The realistic Mumbo has spread. Quick, become bird scientists.

Joe Hills: (McJoenalds) Joe Hills?

Pearlescentmoon: I hope I'm invited to Soup Group Saturday.

Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 24 degrees and a low of 12 degrees. Skies will be stormy throughout the entire day and clear up during the early evening hours.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 40 degrees and a low of 31 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy with high winds.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 43 degrees and a low of 32 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout the day and evening.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 44 degrees and a low of 32 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy throughout the day but clear up during the afternoon.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 40 degrees and a low of 29 degrees. Skies will stay clear throughout the morning and become cloudy during the afternoon.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 45 degrees and a low of 32 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout the entire day.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 44 degrees and a low of 30 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout most of the day.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 42 degrees and a low of 28 degrees. Skies will be cloudy throughout the day with a high chance of scattered showers throughout the morning.

Astrology Corner: Haiku Scopes

By Corundumcat

Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday, look up your star sign, and wonder, “Will I feel like Haikuing?” “Am I going to embrace my inner Joe Hills?” Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.*

Aries:

Single testament,  shall a relax, enjoy help in spite of the the

Taurus:

Freezing eventide then a ready, dry pen runs after the dolphin

Gemini:

Tedious fountain A mad, elephant sneers betrayed by the salt

Cancer:

Baking christmastide A british, cute lion stings into the turtle

Leo:

Semiarid leap A fallow, playful deer feeds under the giraffe

Virgo:

Ungroomed wintertime An old, keen crocodile flies in spite of the queen

Libra:

Snow-white aurora A little, fine biscuit feeds whilst watching the friend

Scorpio:

Covered eventide A big, intense shark waddles at the perfect salt

Sagittarius:

Glorious leaping An intimate, dry friend barks by the flamingo

Capricorn:

Wooded damp hillside A frightened, spruce rabbit looks in spite of the stone

Aquarius:

Breezy summertime A female, gorgeous deer stings enjoying the rat

Pisces: 

Magical winter A normal, loathsome rat sneers hippopotamus

All star signs:

Sandy dunes sand dunes A nocturnal dunes paddles at the perfect dunes

*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you. 

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org*. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A french horn This french horn was found outside of Joe Hills’ pinball machine and appears to have been there for quite a long time. It was found covered in table salt.

Item 2: A box of refrigerator magnets This box contains magnets depicting various postage stamps from different locations around Canada and South America in no particular order. They appear to be newly made and were found in a small wooden box painted to look like a sunset.

Item 3: A hobby horse This hobby horse is made entirely out of wood, with the head carved in the style of a chess knight. It was found several blocks away from Cub’s museum and has various numbers and letters written on it, presumably those of chess board tiles.

Item 4: A rubber band ball This rubber band ball is quite large, with a diameter of 5 inches. The rubber bands vary in size and color and appear to have been accumulated over several months.

Item 5: An apron that says, “World’s Worst Cook” While we cannot speculate on who would accurately fit its description, this newly made apron was found hanging up near the entrance to The Shopping District. It is white with bold, black lettering in Comic Sans font.

Item 6: A series of colorful tote bags These bags were found near Gem’s Elven Village and depict various types of fruit drawn in a cartoon style over pastel backgrounds. They appear to be made only about a week and a half ago.

Item 7: Two Lime Shulker Boxes The first box contains dragon eggs painted to resemble dragon fruits. The second box contains several realistic cakes created and decorated in the style of life-sized dragon eggs. They are made in the flavor red velvet and vanilla ice cream. Both of their respective items are very nicely detailed.

Note: Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash Trade if not picked up after two weeks

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are brought to you once again by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week! Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful week!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 21, 9/07/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Decked Out Debuting This Saturday

By Lydia

Citizens are preparing throughout the entire server to watch their favored Hermits test their parkour, survival, strategy, and navigational skills at the debut of Decked Out, the extensive second edition of the Hermitcraft dungeon crawler created by Redstone engineering and digital architectural mastermind Tango Tek. The game is scheduled to make its grand debut on Saturday, September 9th, and has garnered the public’s attention since the announcement of its early creation over a year ago. Citizens who enjoyed the first edition of Decked Out and who have made a point to be there to play the second are eagerly gathering outside of the venue in hopes of being the first Citizen players in this underground game of wonders. Many of them have been tuning in to Tango Tek’s construction-centered broadcasts to watch him build his brainchild block by block, even giving suggestions when he turns to his audience for a myriad of minds to brainstorm together.

One of the first Citizen Affiliations, the Decked Out Crew, is ebullient in its anticipation to see the game’s opening day. Complete with Redstone engineers, laboratory assistants, maintenance workers, Ravager and Warden Keepers, medics, actors, set designers, landscapers, sound technicians, a stage manager, and a Citadel terrorizer, the Decked Out Crew is brimming with revelry and raucous hyperactivity. Despite the frequent complaints from the Crew that no one gets paid, they also stated that they chose to stay for the long haul of their own volition and haven’t asked for payment, spending much of their time enjoying the game and its features instead. It is still thought that Tango Tek is not aware of most of them frequenting his vicinity due to focusing only on the monumental task in front of him and being reluctant to even think of asking for assistance. Members of the Decked Out Crew who are of age were seen gathering bottles of champagne while others decorated both inside and outside of the break room as well as the Citadel itself to the sound of booming music ranging from rock to metal and even to Halloween-themed songs. A large countdown sign has been placed in the break room to track the hours to the opening day as well, among a large supply of junk food. To the Decked Out Crew, The Overseer wishes you the best of luck in the coming months!

Located directly under the Deep Frost Citadel, this new version of Decked Out takes everything tested in the first edition and rewires it to suit the current season, using every new feature Minecraft offers that can be incorporated into the experience. Tango Tek has dedicated over thirteen months of his life to improving upon these concepts and building new ones. While the goal of the escape room-like venture for each player to retrieve an artifact within the dungeon from one of four capacious levels remains the same, enhancements built as cornerstones to this year’s edition to the game’s internal mechanics, overall environmental ambience, maze-like pathways, new creatures, and sound system among many others will make this dungeon crawler a perfectly blood-curdling and exhilarating new experience, both for those who are brand new to Decked Out and those who have played its first edition. A tutorial of how to play Decked Out will also be released on Tango Tek’s YouTube channel.

The Overseer would like to wish a well-deserved, hearty congratulations to Tango Tek for the debut of his most elaborate project yet and hopes that all of our fellow Citizens enjoy its opening day!

Now onto other news below the cut!

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 42 degrees and a low of 28 degrees. Skies will be cloudy throughout the day with a high chance of scattered showers throughout the morning.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 38 degrees and a low of 27 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with high winds.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 21 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day with all precipitation being very light.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 22 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout the day with a chance of rip currents in the ocean being very likely. Be careful if you are going swimming.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 40 degrees and a low of 32 degrees. Humidity will be particularly high with a chance of passing thunderstorms in the afternoon, however, expect them to dissipate quickly due to Bdubs sleeping them away.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 38 degrees and a low of 29 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy with an increased chance of Server-wide confusion passing through. Be prepared to forget most of your plans today.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 35 degrees and a low of 26 degrees. Skies will be sunny and humid throughout the entire day. Rip currents will continue to pose a threat to those going swimming.

Wednesday; Temperatures will reach a high of 42 degrees and a low of 35 degrees. Skies will continue to be sunny and humid throughout the day.

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org*. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A brand new leather couch This two-person dark-chocolate leather couch appears to have been made within the past month and has no markings or specific design notes attached. It was found near one of the buildings in the Scarland town square.

Item 2: A very ugly large rug This rug has a very garish design reminiscent of 1980s couches catering to the elderly population. Staff members have noted feeling disgusted and nauseous when looking at the rug and have debated sending it to Twinkly Trash just to get it out of the office.

Item 3: A metal sculpture depicting a thin angry person This metal sculpture depicts a very angry person wearing a long black dress, with long, straight hair and incredibly bloodthirsty eyebrows. The expression on their face is one the staff suspects holds the rage of a thousand suns. A tag on the sculpture reads, “The Aluminum Monster.”

Item 4: A pair of binoculars This pair of binoculars was found near Grian’s base, along with several notes related to birdwatching.

Item 5: A field guide to Nether mobs This field guide was found near Jevin’s base and contains a very basic overview for new players regarding exactly what it says on the cover. Several notes have been made in the margins of this book, presumably from someone who may be very new to the game.

Item 6: Six large bowling pins These bowling pins were found near Joe’s arcade but are not part of his entertainment center. They were found with splatters of paint and haphazardly thrown together in an open Shulker box.

Item 7: A set of drawings of aliens These drawings depict aliens presumably formerly occupying Pearl’s alien biome, with notes scrawled on them regarding different species evolutions. Some of them are drawn to be as harmless-looking as possible while others are drawn to be imposing and inherently eye-catching.

Item 8: A baby Warden Found before it learned to Shriek, this Warden was found making clanking sounds in the sewer and had a name tag written in an ancient indeterminable language. Believed to be harmless, it is in its very early cognitive development stages.

Item 9: An axe guitar This axe acoustic guitar has strings coated in gold and finely tuned, and has an axe edge equivalent to that of Sharpness 5.

Note: Items that are unclaimed after two weeks will be sent to Twinkly Trash Trade or kept at Overseer HQ for our own use.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week folks! Hope you have a wonderful time at Decked Out 2's grand opening and have a great week!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 19, 8/23/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 13 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny and very windy, though the evening will be mostly cloudy.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 10 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy and slightly windy throughout the day. Evening skies are expected to be clear.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 22 degrees and a low of 15 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the morning and afternoon.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 25 degrees and a low of 16 degrees. Skies will downpour throughout the entire day and evening.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees with a low of 22 degrees. Skies will be sunny with a chance of showers throughout the late afternoon.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 28 degrees and a low of 20 degrees. Skies will be sunny throughout the entire day with clear skies throughout the evening.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 14 degrees. Skies will be mostly sunny with a chance of thunderstorms throughout the early morning and stay clear throughout the afternoon.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 24 degrees and a low of 12 degrees. Skies will be stormy throughout the entire day and clear up during the early evening hours.

Astrology Corner: HauntedScopes

By Corundumcat

Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday, look up your star sign, and wonder, “Will I jump into the air?” “Will I get jumpscared?” Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.* 

Aries: You are the friend who doesn’t jump at all throughout the haunted mansion and are the person who your friends grip onto when they jump. 

Taurus: You are the partner who, after getting jumpscared and trying to protect your partner, said, “I am Kenough,” just before leaving the room and getting jumpscared again. 

Gemini: You are the cameraman who was recording a celebrity who was the one getting jumpscared.  

Cancer: You are the haunted house worker who isn’t scary but made people scream. So, you are scary in the right conditions. 

Leo: You are the one friend who decides that you will walk very fast to avoid the scares. 

Virgo: You are the person who posed in the room and got your partner in crime to take photos of you before being ushered away by the actor. 

Libra: You are the friend who is blind and reassures the scare actor that they are scary, you're just blind. 

Scorpio: You are the friend who refuses to go into the room because that thing moved and there must be an alternate route. (Spoiler: There isn’t.)

Sagittarius: You are the supportive friend who waits outside for your friends because strobes aren’t your thing. 

Capricorn: You are the group of teenage girls who when the actor goes. “Aaaaaa,” you go “AAAAAAA.” 

Aquarius: You are the group who, the minute you get jumpscared, can be heard throughout the whole house and are the warning that people are still coming. 

Pisces:  You are the friend who decides that crawling will help you. 

All star signs: 

*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you. This author got used to flashing lights and didn’t get a headache when her lights decided to strobe. The rest of her family did. Is this a good thing, maybe. Also, these are inspired by people in a haunted house. 

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A pair of old red sneakers This pair of shoes has worn laces and holes throughout both shoes. They were found hanging by the shoelaces near Impulse’s dwarven keep and were found covered in dirt and Redstone.

Item 2: A wreath made of withered roses This wreath was found discarded near Gem’s elven village. The roses are impeccably arranged in the form of a wreath to hang on one’s front door. A price tag was attached to it reading, “3 diamonds.”

Item 3: A photograph of a new structure built on another server This structure is a brown and pink wooden house built right next to a curved cherry tree with several glow berries hanging from it. Surrounding the house is a gardening area consisting of a wheat farm and glowberry section. [This structure was created and posted by Unknowntoast.]

Item 4: A photograph of the evening sky This photograph features orange, pink, yellow, and red shaded clouds serving as the backdrop to an unknown city street with large buildings, perhaps taken to inspire a sense of wanderlust. [This photograph was taken and posted by Z.]

Item 5: A sculpture of a glare This clay sculpture of a glare stands at approximately 6 inches tall and 6 inches wide with a spherical shape. It was found near Bdubs’ monolith and glows in the dark.

NOTE: Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. We are also in need of window and wall repairs.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Crossword and Word Search by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

That's all for this week citizens! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week!

[hccn-overseer]

Issue 23, 9/21/2023 - The Overseer

Issue Masterpost About the Overseer

Weekly Weather Report

By Lydia

Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 21 degrees and a low of 15 degrees. It will be slightly windy and mostly sunny, with wind speeds of 15 miles per hour.

Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 24 degrees and a low of 13 degrees. Winds will be slow with a speed of 2 miles per hour. It will be mostly cloudy with occasional shockwaves tearing through the sky, causing clouds to be torn apart and scattered.

Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 20 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with expectations to clear up in the afternoon.

Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 32 degrees and a low of 23 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear with windy conditions reaching 25 miles per hour.

Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 27 degrees and a low of 18 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the afternoon but clear up quickly. Gusts of hot air will blow through the server, accompanied by occasional wisps of flames.

Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 29 degrees and a low of 16 degrees. Skies will be cloudy throughout the entire day with higher humidity today than throughout the rest of the week, making the air feel more like 35 degrees most of the day.

Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 32 degrees and a low of 25 degrees. Dust storms will be prevalent throughout the day and skies will be sunny.

Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 22 degrees. Skies will remain sunny throughout the entire day with low wind speeds. Clouds in the shape of spiderwebs will be scattered throughout the sky.

Now onto other news under the cut!

Astrology Corner: DeckedOutScopes

By Corundumcat

Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday, look up your star sign, and wonder, “Will I immediately be eaten by Tango’s Cough or Pumpkin” “Am I going to embrace my inner Ethoslab Season 1?” Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.*

Aries:  You will max out clank and dance around all of the problems and chaos in the ✨dungeon✨.

Taurus: You are an unpaid worker who has found some great friends, and while this will look great on your resume, it’s not the same as volunteering at music festival, is it?

Gemini: You, like your namesake, are really excited to play. HOWEVER, unlike your namesake, you do not venture in as you like the waiting room.

Cancer: You got to meet Mrs. Tango in your last run… let’s just say she didn’t like you.

Leo: You are in charge of naming pet ravagers and you were asked if you could name it Tango’s Hug. You were confused, so you did. (They paid in frost embers).

Virgo: You are the actor in the dark room who gets to congratulate the successful runners.

Libra: You are trying to adopt Pumpkin.

Scorpio: You are there as the person who hugs the friends who were unsuccessful and got taken by Tango’s Cough. 

Sagittarius: You have a custom Decked Outfit and are trying to win the fashion contest. 

Capricorn: You are the mad lads who are doing the spreadsheet analysing everyone’s scores

Aquarius: You listen to “Better When I’m Dancing” whilst running the dungeon.

Pisces: You are going to end up on the news channel for starting with the hardest difficulty and doing really well.

All star signs: come by my cryptids corner if you have the chance. 

*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you. You just may get a tad lost

Lost and Found

By Lydia

All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at lostandfound@thehermitnews.org. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you! *Not a real email address.

Item 1: A heavy backpack full of amethyst This backpack is dyed a bright orange with blue accents and is filled with two stacks of amethyst. Basic diamond mining tools were also found inside the pack, along with three stacks of torches.

Item 2: A necklace of animal teeth This necklace appears to be made out of the teeth of several Ravagers and is painted with intricate spiraled patterns.

Item 3: A pile of shoelaces with frayed ends These shoelaces appear to have been made a few years ago and were found in a small pouch. They come in several bright colors and are very short, as if they were made for children’s sneakers. There were no aglets on these shoelaces and the ends are very frayed.

Item 4: A box of pavement chalk This box of chalk was found in the Shopping District next to a series of chalk drawings lining the paths. These drawings resemble large chasms, out of which are bursting colorful lightning bolts. There are also several circles, inside of which are written, “Bad Luck Spot.”

Item 5: A pack of playing cards This pack of cards was found near Grian’s rocks and is designed with characters from several 1980s arcade games. They were found scattered in the area.

Item 6: A necklace with a locket This was found in the woods and gave the finder an electric shock when they attempted to open it. There is a distant ticking sound coming from it and an engraving on the back, written in galactic. Half of the engraving is scratched off. The finder suggests taking it as far as possible or finding a way to destroy it completely.

Item 7: A set of tools and weapons in an overgrown box This set includes a sword with Riptide 3, an axe with Feather Falling 2, a pickaxe with Blast Protection 3, a bow with Thorns 5, a shovel with Aqua Affinity, a fishing rod with Flame, and shears with Swift Sneak 3 and Soul Speed 2.

Item 8: A life-sized crocheted office printer plush Stuffed with cotton, it is scented like that of a fresh book. The finder believes whoever made this took “Your workplace is your home,” quite literally.

Item 9: A shipment of merchandise to be released This was found via a motorcycle delivery driver crashing into someone’s garden. The items include subtly designed Warden hoodies, frosty mugs resembling frozen shards, Collector’s Edition Decked Out 2 Cards, relic charms, and two dozen shirts that say, “I survived the burning dark and all I got was this lousy t-shirt,” with one of the dozen being colored to resemble a Ravager and the other colored like that of a Warden. The apparels are made with moderately thick fabric, making them ideal for both warm and cool weather.

Item 10: An indestructible 25-ounce goose-shaped mug This goose-shaped mug depicts the goose’s neck as the handle. It says, “FLIGHT, FRIGHT, FIGHT!” in the font of Another Danger by The Branded Quotes, written in vibrant red letters. It has Unbreaking 5 and Mending. It has been dropped eight times on the finder’s way to the office and not a single chip or dent has formed.

Fun and Games

This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!

Word Search and Crossword by Lydia

Brain Teasers by Azure

And that's all for this week folks! Have a wonderful week y'all!