#he has 10 charisma and it SHOWS but also it is working overtime on me

[polaraffect]

sorry for being horny for astarion on main. it will happen again.

[eternichi]

10 SHINee Years

Happy 10th Anniversary, SHINee! I already wrote this on Amino, but I thought I’d bring it over to tumblr (where I can format it properly lol

10 SHINee Years

I can’t believe it’s been 10 whole years. I found SHINee probably just after their first year, in 2009 when Lucifer was gaining traction online. They were the first K-pop band I ever heard, and the only one I’ve ever loved. I haven’t found another band I’ve ever followed so passionately, and I don’t think I ever will. They’re so unique.

When I first heard Lucifer I was hooked on the spot. My friend was showing me the video and I could not believe how good the music was, and I was entranced by the flawless dance moves and a music video I wanted to repeat. I’ve heard the song a million times but I never get sick of it. Even listening right now. It reminds me of great times in middle school, where my friends and I tried to learn the dance. Though I still don’t know much anymore, I never gave up on learning it. Though we’re not all friends anymore, I see the memories of our happiness in each song you all sing.

Honestly I didn’t get super into SHINee until college when I became very depressed and found myself running across silly SHINee compilations on YouTube. They cheered me up and made me so happy. I learned all their names and how unique and incredible each one of them is, how important they are to k-pop as a whole and to each other. How pure they are, even when it comes to live shows that are always live (what kind of band so talented is BAD at lipsyncing? One with pure talent that doesn’t take shortcuts!). Honestly, I’m still learning how to be a Shawol every day. Even today, I never knew the exact day they debuted (and the day after my birthday no less, whoa!) ;;;

ONEW

The sweet leader, Onew. Onew’s gone through a lot and stayed so strong the whole time. He puts all his love into SHINee and it shows. When he needed surgery for his voice and cried when he could finally return to stage, when he comforted every other emotional member on stage, when he might be stressed but always would give that big smile. How can someone be so cool, sexy, and adorable at the same time? You never fail to keep your fans on their feet. Many would be lucky to have such a kind yet strong leader.

KEY

My personal bias, Key. Key was actually the character who’s part I was assigned to dance to back in the old days. It must’ve been fate because when I got older and learned more about him, I realized how much I admired him. I’m someone with a god-awful memory and not a skilled dancer, so I’m in awe by Key’s incredible ability to memorize dances on the spot and expertly execute them. His ability inspires me to work harder at that alone, but that’s not all! A great singer and fashionista to the max, is there anything you’re bad at? All the while, learning to speak in Korean, Japanese, and English. This inspires me so much, as someone who’s been learning Japanese and hopes to teach Japanese abroad. You must have worked so hard to learn so much, and no doubt to help your fellow members reach their highest potential. And as a singer, student, and fan, you’re one of my biggest inspirations.

TAEMIN

Taemin I’ll admit is a bit of a mystery to me sometimes. I feel like there’s a lot of times you never know what he’s thinking behind that ever-present smile. A little bit of mischief and playfulness, but also clearly someone who, when they want to achieve a goal, will make it happen. Like many others, I watched you grow. My first memories are of a scrawny little Taemini with the long blond hair, so seeing beefy TaeMAN years later was a (welcome) shock. Now you’re making your own albums and clearly pursuing something you’ve always wanted to do. Though the smallest, Taemin’s definitely been a core part of SHINee, and has clearly grown well with love aside his brothers.

MINHO

Though Minho has a huge personality, he was someone I didn’t know much about for a long time. He’s fiery, competitive, playful, determined, and dorkly cool (riddle me that one). Clearly one of SHINee’s biggest fans who will prove them to be the best in any competition, no matter how small, and make up DIBIDIBIDI songs about his favorite people. And no different from the other members, just as talented as a budding drama actor and the group rapper. Though known as the group rapper, it’s no shock he’s just as talented in song. One of my favorite songs he’s sung is Kiseki, a Japanese song I heard before hearing him sing it, but only loved after. No matter what, Minho’s love for SHINee will never fade. There’s no extinguishing that flaming charisma.

JONGHYUN

And finally, Jonghyun. Forever in our hearts and our minds. The lead vocalist, and that is no title given lightly. Those notes in Lucifer, the long high notes, always gave me chills. It was your voice I wanted to hear the most in each song replay. What an incredible talent. The lyrics of each song he wrote packed with emotion and meaning. Every song has a purpose. You could say so much and so little in each line. You have the brightest smile of all of the members, and every time I’d watch a behind-the-scenes video, I’d always be instantly happy when I saw you break out in a huge smile and fits of laughter. Jonghyun worked so hard and did so many incredible things with his talents and immense effort. You did so, so, so well.

Jonghyun, last July I planned a trip to Japan. The winter before, I found “SHINee’s Fine Day”, a show where all of the boys took trips to wherever they wanted. I never finished the series, but when my friends and I decided to visit Japan, I remembered that you also loved Japan and chose to visit it. I began to slowly watch your videos the next months for inspiration. In December, inspiration turned to dedication. In March, I walked purposefully in some of your footsteps in Tokyo. I couldn’t do everything, but I chose 3 specific places that I bought meant a lot to you back them.

I decided to visit the records store you did, Tower Records jn Shibuya, and buy your last album, along with some from SHINee. When I arrived, the store looked different than when you visited, but just like you, I believe to the SHINee section. They had a beautiful set up dedicated to all 5 of you. I took a picture so someday, when I’ve learned enough Japanese, I can read their kind words. I easily found your city, put in a large section for your fans. When I purchased your CD, they gave me a poster of the cover. I still haven’t had the heart to open my CDs or hang up your poster. Someday I will though.

On my way to Tower Records, I had visited Hachiko. All the while I remembered when you took a picture with him too, and fans started to gather in take pictures, which you happily and loudly invited to continue. (Funny enough people took pics of me then too in my fairy kei fashion haha)

In Odaiba, the Gundam statue. I’m not a Gundam fan like you are but I wanted to copy you by taking a selfie in front of the statue (albeit I wasn’t meaning to go in cosplay but that’s how things wound up haha;;; ). I’m glad I could go where you once were. It helped comfort me a lot knowing you once experienced a lot of happiness and fun, enjoying your vacation where i was. And knowing you must be feeling that happiness once again. You deserve all of the happiness in the world.

Jonghyun, I’ll try to keep it short. You changed me as a person. I now stand up for what I believe in. I try to not let others push me around. I know you stood up for what you believed in and it inspired me so much. But you’ve been inspiring everyone around you since the beginning. They all said so; fans, other musical groups, your friends, and your fellow members. You’re an idol in every sense of the word. You’re a star.

SHINee

What SHINee has taught me most of all is something I’ve been trying to prove my whole life: true friendship exists. I hoped it existed with the friends I had back when I discovered SHINee in middle school. There were also 5 of us. But our five wasn’t meant to be, of course, we went different ways. I’ve made more friends and lost them between then and now. My depression worsened because I believed I’d never find friends that would want to be with me, want to work towards the same goals, or help me through hard times. I just had friends that abandoned me, gave up on our projects we started with so much promise, and brushed off my feelings. When I found the videos of SHINee, it broke through this despair I’d built up overtime. I saw them laugh, cry, smile, argue, and work so hard together and knew there were no truer friends in the world. Someday I want the friendship they have. I’m not there yet but I know now that it’s out there. That’s what made me fall in love with SHINee more than any other band ever will. They’re not just the pretty boys with nice voices and incredible dance moves. Their distinct, incredible people who care about each other so much, and put their all into their group. Though they may have different goals and dreams ultimately, and different side talents and projects, it’s clear their #1 focus is SHINee, and the Shawol that give their love to them. They love us because we love this group that they put their hearts and souls into. There’s no way to deny how much they love us. In return, let’s all do our best to be as amazing as they always believe we are.

Thank you, SHINee. Thank you Onew, Jonghyun, Minho, Key, and Taemin. Your future is shining bright.

( Thanks everyone who read! This was just my view of SHINee, so it may be perceived way different than the next fan. But everyone’s reason to love SHINee is just as correct. We’re all fans of this incredible group and I love all of the dedication Shawol have.  Sorry if this was a long ramble and about the tense changes. Take care, everyone. )

[terenceblanchard]

Art has to be a kind of Confession

The poet James Baldwin once said that “Art has to be a kind of confession.” He was referring not to a gossipy type of confession but the type of expression that emanates from examining ones life. Examination allows the artist an opportunity to not only face their life but to also discover the terms that connects them to the lives of others.  It is this artistic expression, born from examination, that allows the audience to discover themselves through your art. It may seem complicated but mostly it’s a natural unforced process.  I have traveled and performed across the world and I’ve met and connected with people from all walks of life. I recently performed a concert and participated in a panel discussion on the role of music in the Civil Rights movement with the acclaimed New York Times columnist Charles Blow in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Soon after, I received a poignant letter from Tim, a gentlemen who was in the audience that evening. He shared with me his thoughts on my remarks and how the concert had sparked an exploration into the role of music in his own personal journey through life.  With Tim’s permission, I am sharing our correspondences that illustrate Baldwin’s point that Art is a confession.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Dear Terence, 

I feel compelled to write you after spending two evenings in your company in Little Rock in April. I attended the discussion with Charles Blow at Mosaic Templars and the show the following night at South on Main. I was lucky (and motivated) enough to sit up front for both events, and I’m grateful to have had the opportunity. I started this letter back then and shelved it, but I’ve continued to give my experience a lot of thought so I finished it this morning.

Those experiences were compelling for a number of reasons. Only a week prior to your visit to Arkansas, the local PBS station aired a documentary, Dream Land, about Taborian Hall. That historic ballroom is the last standing monument to the all-but-obliterated 9thStreet district, once the epicenter of African-American culture in Arkansas.   A few days later, as we sat in the Mosaic Templars building –a replica of the other cornerstone to the 9th Street district- I was struck by some superficial commonalities between us, along with a vast dichotomy of experience.

You mentioned your father. You and I are less than a year apart in age. You said your father was 40 years your senior. So was mine. Our fathers were born in 1922 and 1923. Your father and mine lived through the depression and the war. Both were southerners and lived through the Jim Crow era. You mentioned his love of opera. My father loved opera, too, and his passion for it helped instill the love of music in me.

Your story of your father being moved to tears because he was able to gain entry into the hotel ballroom where he once worked as a busboy hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, if my father had been able to afford entry into that ballroom in the 1930’s, 40’s or 50’s, he could have walked right in.

My father was a product of his time and place. He was a racist. A bigot. My father would have called your father “boy,” or worse. He used the N—word at the supper table and decried Dr. King as a troublemaker. He mocked the civil rights movement and expressed admiration for the alleged honor in the heritage of the confederacy. All of this despite being an educated, cultured, intelligent, and religious man.

And of course, my father raised me to be a racist, a bigot.

Unlearning is a hard thing. Our biases simplify a complex world and give cold comfort to unexamined ideas. But, as a child of the baby boom, I was quick to challenge my parents. In my early teens, mine was simply unfocused adolescent rebellion, but I was quick to question their values in many ways, just as they questioned mine. By the late 70’s, hair and music were no longer points of contention for many of my friends’ parents. But in my house, long hair was for sissies and the rock music I loved was “noise.” Or worse, it was overtly African to them. I pushed back against that bias with righteous indignation. 

I didn’t know any black people until 1979, when I was 16 years old and my family returned to the Little Rock area from Texas. I made friends with a few black kids at school but mostly the races kept to their own. But my youthful worldview wasn’t shaken so much by my peers as it was on a spring night in 1979 by a 67-year-old black man from the Mississippi Delta.

Since I was a small child I have been obsessed with listening to music. I listened to what my older brothers listened to –Beatles, Stones, and Led Zeppelin- plus lots of singer-songwriters. The older I got, the more diverse my tastes became. But, in the late 70’s I was all about rock music, and most music by black artists was, in my opinion, “disco.” And disco sucked, as the saying went. (My love for soul, funk, and jazz were still many years away.)

In the spring of 1979, Eric Clapton came to Pine Bluff, Arkansas, about 50 miles from my teenage home. I knew a little bit of his music, and I yearned to experience live music more than almost anything. My chances had been few, so I was eager for this show. I had never heard of the opening band. Our carload of friends arrived early, before the doors opened. We were first in line and bolted for the standing room in front of the stage, pressing into the barricade at the center of the stage. We waited. Then, when the lights went down I was standing 10 feet from Muddy Waters.

I had never heard anything like it in my life. The music was primal, propulsive, and sexual, with a rhythmic energy that connected with me in a way I still feel. Of course, Muddy Waters was a veteran performer who commanded the stage with huge charisma and professionalism. I was shaken to my core.

Eric who? Today, I really don’t remember much about Clapton’s set but I recall “She’s Nineteen Years Old,” “I’ve Got My Mojo Workin,” and “Manish Boy” vividly.

The music reverberated. I bought a Muddy Waters record immediately, and proceeded to wear it out. My mother, who had endured my phases with the likes Kiss and Ted Nugent, was freshly aghast. Listening to the blues was beyond rebellious, it was proof that I was somehow defective! She told me how she and her friends had laughed at the men who played music like that when she was growing up. Unlike some of the (in retrospect, admittedly bad) music she had criticized, Muddy Waters struck a different nerve.

There I was, left to reconcile the fact that I felt immediately, intimately connected to the blues. I was yet ignorant to the history and influence this music shared with my little record collection. I formed a relationship with the music, just as I had with the Beatles, and Paul Simon, and a list of sundry FM radio staples. How then, would I square what I felt and knew with what I had learned in my racist household? I could not separate the humanity of the artist from the art. TS Eliot said “poetry communicates before it is understood.” Somehow the blues was telling me about myself. Then, as now, I experienced art as sense of connection. A 67-year-old black man from Mississippi by way of Chicago had grabbed a middle class suburban white teenager by the soul.

That experience was singular, but of course my journey through the rejection of the bigotry in my upbringing was much longer and more complicated. I had more soul-searching to do. In the process of growing up, another event stands out.

Fast-forward a few years. I had just completed my freshman year in college. A friend and I heard that there was to be a KKK rally in east Arkansas. We were morbidly curious and decided to go and “protest.” We dressed in our neo-hippy finery so our presence couldn’t be construed as support. We arrived to a soybean field in McCrory, Arkansas –the middle of nowhere, really- where 50 or so heavily armed men had gathered. We were scared shitless. We stood at the edge, silently listening and watching.

They were pathetic.

I expected to somehow tell those people how wrong they were. I expected to hate them. As revolting as their ideas were, I felt something like compassion for them, seeing that they were, in their way, victims of their own circumstances. I saw ignorant, poor, uneducated people parroting simple-minded bigotry with a thin veneer of patriotism and religion. Later, when I related this story to my father, he told me something that haunts me to this day. He said that his grandparents, who raised him, were supporters of the Klan, and “probably would have agreed with everything they said.” It chilled me to the bone. I was revolted by this connection to the past, but revulsion doesn’t sever the tie. Those bigots in the bean field were my people.

I didn’t ask for that. I didn’t get to choose my parents. We don’t get to choose our history. I loved my parents, for all of their faults. It doesn’t excuse their bigotry to say that they were victims of their own histories, and for whatever reason they never experienced a profound change of heart, or if they did I never knew it. 

I don’t know what changes other people’s hearts. Mine changed over time, with education, experience, open-mindedness, and a moral clarity I’ve tried to nurture. And, it’s all got a soundtrack. Music has changed me for the better in many ways, sometimes uncomfortably so. 

Your set at South on Main has stayed with me for three months now. I can’t unpack it, but it resonates in the deepest ways possible, conjuring the chaos, anger, and conflict of the troubled days we live in. Amid the dissonance, I also found sweetness and comfort there. Just like a kid hearing the blues for the first time, I was rattled to the bone.

I get to take that with me. Your music is a gift; I thank you for it with the deepest sincerity. 

Tim 

Little Rock, AR.

Thursday, Jul 13, 2017

Hi Tim

I need to thank you for your letter. Its power and grace has filled my heart with the belief that love wins out every time, overtime. Your experiences with your father are not unlike mine in some respects. My father wasn't a racist, but his views on some issues were skewed by life experiences, which could be a bit outdated. The thing that I loved about my father though was his willingness to allow me to argue with him on various topics from music to politics. His major thing was always "make your point." That approach has allowed me to be corrected on issues from time to time by my own kids today. Lol!!!

I really appreciate your openness and candor about your life. It's a window into the daily struggles we all have to face in our own backyards before we have to face the world. Those moments of being confronted with your own truth. Thank you so much for sharing.

If you don't mind, I'd love to post this letter without your name if that makes you feel safe? It needs to be out there for all to see, feel, hear, and debate.

Thanks for the moment in time this morning that gives me hope for our shared future.

Terence

--------------