#he has been sacrificed many times and would definitely volunteer to be eaten so everyone survives. he needs to be medicated.

[girl-archie]

[keptin-indy]

Exalted: The Saigoth Gates

This game has been going on for more than a year now, so I’ll be posting writeups twice a week to try and catch up; one on Wednesday (during the actual game) and one on Friday (when I finish that week’s writeup).  As before, feel free to ask questions or clarifications.  Like most tabletop gamers, I love talking about systems, campaigns, and characters.

Setting

Creation is in the Age of Sorrows.  The decadent First Age fell thousands of years ago, the villainous Solar Anathema who had stolen the power of the sun god brought down by the righteous Dragonblooded, people empowered by the elemental essences of Creation itself.  Or was it that the glorious golden age of the Solar Exalted, chosen by the Unconquered Sun for greatness, was usurped by the jealous Terrestrial soldiers?  Regardless, it was followed by the fractious Dragonblooded Shogunate which was later ravaged by a worldwide plague and subsequent invasion of the Fair Folk from beyond the edges of the world.  All of Creation owes its continued existence to one Dragonblood woman, the Scarlet Empress of the Realm, who dared the defenses of an ancient superweapon and used it to destroy the invaders and declare herself the ruler of the largest and most powerful nation the world had seen since the First Age.  The Empress ruled with an iron fist and the core of her Realm on the Blessed Isle grew prosperous while her satrapies in the Threshold variously suffered and/or grew civilized under her legions and the great houses her descendants established.  A powerful sorceress, the Scarlet Empress ruled for more than 700 years and intended to rule for many more, but she mysteriously disappeared a few years ago, leaving the Realm in a crisis of succession and giving the Threshold the first possibility of freedom it had seen in centuries.  Even worse, the Solar Anathema, locked away for millennia and fiercely hunted on the rare occasions they appeared, suddenly began to come back in larger numbers than before, just when the Realm was least able to deal with them.*

*Exalted is a very in-depth setting.  Like my Dresden Files writeup, I’ll try to link relevant wiki articles when something is too complicated to explain during the game.  That said, I highly recommend checking Exalted out if you like high fantasy with moral quandaries and diverse cultures.  The third edition corebook has just been released and this campaign is set in a slightly hybrid 3rd/2nd edition setting.

Characters

Unquenched Ardor (Dawn) was the bard and standard bearer for a war band in Medo in the North, a satrapy of the Realm.  During a surprise attack of the undead on her band, she rallied her troops and turned the tide and was noticed by the Unconquered Sun, who appointed her one of His generals.  Fearing that her clan would be killed if her Exaltation were known about, she changed her name and traveled south, following the dream the Sun had sent her. (Scottish-equivalent, medium height, brown hair, App 3)

Mazatl Quetzal (Zenith) was the appointed king of a small city-state far in the East which won its right to freedom from the Fair Folk every ten years in a grand ball game culminating in the sacrifice of the losing team.  A rival city-state betrayed them to the Guild, who enslaved them and left the city to be eaten by the Wyld.  The devastated Mazatl followed their trail on foot, travelling west across seemingly endless desert.  His dedication to his people touched the Unconquered Sun, who gave him the ability to withstand all hardships in his quest and appointed his one of His priests. (Aztec-equivalent, short, black hair and eyes, wears a cloak made of magical hummingbirds, App 4)

Watcher of the West (Twilight 1) was, at the start of game, a conman and would-be sky pirate travelling with his companion Shashaka and thunderbird familiar Force of the Great Typhoon.  Whenever questioned about his origins, he spun a new lie and evaded any straightforward answer.  What was definitely true about him was that he was a craftsman and sorcerer-engineer, always building something and happy to explain his plans to resurrect the lost art of airship-building.  (dubiously English-equivalent, tall, white hair, blue eyes, very pale, exceedingly well-dressed, App 4) (actual spoilery backstory for the curious) (Yours truly, so sort of the POV character)

Jeweled Krait (Twilight 2) was a slave to House Ragara in the Lap on the Southern Threshold.  He secretly studied the books of his master and initiated himself into sorcery, winning both an escape and an Exaltation.  A self-taught genius, Krait suffers social anxiety and a complete lack of mental filter as well as a suspect idea of morality.  He’s far happier with his alchemy and demons than he is with people (and the feeling is often mutual). (Afro-Caribbean-equivalent, lavender hair, dark skin, App 5)

Shashaka Yadibatu (Night) was a scout in the Haltan army in the East before rescuing a Linowan child from the Fair Folk (and being Exalted for her self-sacrificing righteousness) then subsequently being literally branded a traitor by her own people and exiled.  She roamed westward trying to find a purpose and freeing slaves where she could until she was apprehended by the Wyld Hunt near the city of Thorns.  Past that, she never explains, but she somehow ended up partnered to West and making their way south in order to rob Gem. (Indian-equivalent, very tall, green hair, App 3)

Naran Bataar (Eclipse) was a native to Chiaroscuro, born to one of its rich merchant families.  He hasn’t shared how he Exalted, but his role as diplomat and entrepreneur was a natural fit for his caste.  Naran never lies and is still somehow able to make friends everywhere he goes.  Naran is the glue that holds the circle together and an excellent swordsman in addition to his other qualities. (Arabic-equivalent, short, dark red hair, App 5-6)

(Fun fact: in the Dresden Files game, Ardor’s player is Murchah and Mazatl’s is Sam.  And y’know, I’m West and Baz.  If you happened to read the Sidereals writeup, this was all the same group with the addition of Shashaka’s player.) (Also, for people not familiar with Exalted stats, App means Appearance and the scale is 1-5.  This party is so absurdly pretty.)

Session 1

On their way to Gem, West and Shashaka found themselves in the port city of Chiaroscuro.  While stealing supplies from the marketplace there, the disguised Shashaka noticed inexplicable cold spots scattered around, recognizing them as the hallmarks of dematerialized demons.  She and West went on the alert, quietly readying their weapons, and noticed another very pretty, lavender-haired man draw out a shuriken.  The blood apes took this as their cue to manifest and begin attacking bystanders in the crowded market.  Unsurprisingly, a riot began to break out as everyone attempted to flee.  As suddenly as it started, however, a Northern woman turned it into an orderly evacuation by playing a steady drumbeat and calming the crowd with her voice.  Two other men ran against the crowd toward the demons, one drawing a sword of the local magical glass, the other’s magnificent feathered cloak dissolving into countless shimmering hummingbirds which improbably swarmed one of the demons like bees.  The fight now joined in earnest, the blood apes pounced on Shashaka, West, and the lavender-haired man while the man with the sword almost literally bounced between them, trying to get the demons off.  The Easterner with the hummingbirds suddenly manifested a red and white jade daiklaive and cut the demon fighting him in half, much to everyone’s surprise.  The lavender man claimed to be a servant of Octavian to prevent his blood ape from ripping him to pieces, and when that only briefly worked, abruptly sucked the demon into what West assumed was either a yasal crystal or another Twilight’s anima banner.  Shashaka and the swordsman killed the one pinning her to the ground, and the Northern woman changed her rousing battle-song into something discordant and terrifying, making the ape on top of West dematerialize to flee.  The hummingbird trainer, his daiklaive suddenly nowhere to be found, demanded that the demon come back.  West scoffed at this attempt and suddenly found himself face to face with the materialized blood ape, whereupon he shoved his lightning gun down its throat and electrocuted it to death.

Brushing themselves off, the odd collection of people variously attended to wounded bystanders or harvested demon parts when an old woman asked if they would come with her so they could discuss what had just happened.  The native Chiaroscuran was extremely deferential and the others followed for their own, largely unknown reasons.  For West and Shashaka, it was largely curiosity.  Along the way to their destination, the group all introduced themselves (Shashaka unfolding herself from a pale, unremarkable woman to all of her 6'4" Haltan glory), though not much more information was given than names.  The old woman said that she was Grandmother Bright, a name which West recognized and treated with much more respect, though he refused to call her Honoured Grandmother.  The goddess took them to her outdoor temple/cafe in the Plaza and told them that evil forces were afoot in Chiaroscuro and that she needed help tracking down the perpetrators.  There had been several similar demonic attacks throughout the least fortified parts of the city at the same time, though none so quickly dispatched as this one, and she had had other indications of something working against the local people for some time.  She offered the group housing in the prestigious and well-appointed Plaza while they assisted her, but it was the offer of access to an alchemical workshop that convinced Jeweled Krait and West, with Shashaka shrugging and going along with her partner.  Naran and Mazatl volunteered immediately upon hearing about the problem, but Unquenched Ardor was reluctant, confused, and very far from home.  Grandmother Bright assured her that she was free to leave when she wished, and Ardor tentatively agreed to help.  

The group was shown to an apartment suite with magical amenities, which West was terribly pleased about, having not seen indoor plumbing in far too long.  Krait shyly bargained with the local alchemist for some equipment of his own, which he set up in his room so he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone.  At dinner, the subject of the missing blood ape came up and West explained that it was in a yasal crystal, thinking he was protecting Krait’s secret of being an Anathema and feeling surprised and slightly guilty when it really was in a yasal crystal.  Krait asked his captive who had summoned it, but the demon only knew that its master was a robed and hooded human who had bound it to do whatever it wanted for a year and a day.  When pressed, it agreed to lead the group to the place it had been summoned in exchange for its freedom (but not its life, which it later regretted). Setting out on its directions, the group unhappily found itself in the sewers beneath the city.  West passed out perfumed cloths to fight the unpleasantness a little, and followed the cloaca until the three people who could see dematerialized spirits caught sight of a waiting tomescu.  As the only one who could both see it and speak Old Realm, West tried to negotiate getting past it, which failed, but did reveal that the summoner had pledged their soul to Sondok, She Who Stands in Doorways.  It also agreed to pass a message to its master requesting a meeting.  The rest of the party was having none of this, and decided to kill the tomescu instead.  This accomplished, Krait freed the blood ape and the party killed that, too, so Krait’s yasal crystal would be free to capture another demon if needed.  After all this slaughter, they went through the door the tomescu had been guarding.  On the other side was a horror house of gutted sacrifice victims and half-finished sorcerous equations written in their blood.

[ashensoul1995]

Sunken ships not meant to sail

If a relationship feels like a thorny noose around your throat, chances are it is NOT a relationship but something you need to get rid of as soon as possible. I say this after sacrificing a good chunk of my mental health and what feels like most of my teenage years to a relationship that knocked over everything I believed I was and erected the strangest things in place of it. If I could I would walk back to old me and slap her, hard, across the face for being ok with any of it. I was young and suddenly he was intent on this crazy passion and clinginess I had never experienced before. We were only a few months apart in age and both of us were artists and writers. Within a day he had swooped over me and I found myself slightly bright eyed and giddy. I wanted to introduce him to all my friends and my parental unit, in a sense that consisted of a person the rest of the world seemed to both hate and adore equally. I still remember that very first meeting and the completely blank and uninterested look on his face as he seemed to stare straight through Jamie and everything that he was for me when I expected him to manage to somehow turn him away like he had so many other young men. Instead I got a long and hard look afterwards and a firm 'be careful with him.' I do wish I had listened and picked up on the undertone of wariness but I was too giddy with the cloyingly sweet realisation that someone actually loved me enough to want to be part of my life. And then came the contract. Yes I had to sign a friendship contract. A contract that detailed what I could and could not do. A contract that detailed everything I was and was meant to dictate my entire existence. And I agreed. I agreed to not talking to anyone but him, not sharing anything with anyone but him, not interacting with anyone but him, calling him for at least four hours every day, meeting up with him at least once a week outside of school for at least ten hours. He did ask me to write up a contract of what I expected from him. I was too confused to actually think of anything and came up with 'please be happy and know that I need you.' And yes I want to go back and throttle myself today but I was young and he seemed to love me like crazy and that was the only thing that mattered. He loved me too much it seemed, and somehow we seemed to look good together. Two awkwardly skinny, tall and gangly raven haired teens who liked art and would always be somehow interlocked; he either had a hand around mine, a hand on my shoulder, an arm around my shoulders. He was just there. Everywhere. And he would often turn up at my 'home' after hours or else I would end up at his where we giggled and talked and discussed all kinds of things while his younger brother did strange things next door. My (I use this term lightly here) parental unit seemed strangely ok with me having a boyfriend in my room for hours on end with the door closed and would often try to get to know him, or so it seemed but most of the time just seemed to be almost anxiously watching me as though trying to figure something out that made no sense to him. The contract became matching outfits and then eventually I felt like we were one rather strange two headed creature. I was so tired of it though, worn out by this human who for whatever reason loved me so much and had pretty much crawled under my skin and was doing strange things I did not even understand. Everyone found us to be adorable; teachers, his parents, anyone who saw us together and who experienced me laughing and him saying stupid things and then his..love for animals. I have a vague memory of watching Twilight with him at home with my parental unit staying far away on the other side of pointedly closed doors but his gorgeous black cat Scar decided to come in and use Jamie's leg as a scratching post. I realise now that he must have tried to send Scar in himself to make me realise that Jamie was in fact incapable of talking to animals and was making it all up. I do get annoyed, but I paid no mind to it and decided Jamie and Scar could bond later. Jamie liked buying me gifts. And once he went as far as buying me something that I subsequently lost. I write this with the painful cold creeping in under my bones that day brought about because the gift was lost. And he refused to talk to me and to stop cold shouldering me. I remember the fear and the despair and worry that Jamie would never talk to me again and how I was found by my 'parental unit' (who I will refer to as Moon Man) sitting broken outside the school gate with a flushed face and a heavy heart. He tried to ask me what happened, and I lied and told him I lost the gift but Jamie didn't know and would be upset when he found out. He sat with me for hours, kits us two humans on the dusty pavement for hours and hours because he somehow knew I had to stay put as he assured me that Jamie loved me, and though my loss of the gift was a bad thing he would understand it was just a gift and I shouldn't worry because everyone loses something and Jamie would understand. I never told him I cried later on because I was so confused about why Jamie was angry over a gift but decided it would make sense over time, maybe. The next part of this sits heavy in my core as I realise it will probably become a reason for open mockery of me and maybe even a cause for a lot of people judging me. Funnily I don't care anymore. Sometimes you just need to talk about certain things to stop them hurting you and making everything taste and smell funny. Obviously sexuality is a big thing, especially as a teenager. I found myself writing up highly detailed sexual scenes for Jamie because he wanted the, and seemed to need them...or he threatened to tell everyone that I was a lesbian? Actually now that I think of it that would have been a really cool way of being, unfortunately I was young and dumb and scared so I wrote these things for him. And he seemed to like them. And that became a thing. There was some parental meeting thing held by his mother at his house. And his mother decided she wanted to invite me and Moon Man despite me not being a parent and him not being a parent or even a mother either. I remember actually feeling excited at how Moon Man agreed to making the trip with me and how he volunteered to bake them macarons and how happy I was that he was supporting me. I remember how Jamie's mother visibly flushed upon seeing him and led him in before sweetly cooing that Jamie was waiting for me. I remember the two hours of Jamie and how weirdly good it felt to be against him and with him and just the stupid things like him telling me how his brother seemed to have reached that awkward stage of puberty where he was doing strange things. And that he thought I was the prettiest person ever and that I was his muse and he was so happy and honoured to know me. When it was time to go Moon Man seemed weirdly calm about everything and kept looking at me amusedly but never really said anything. I remember that has to be the day he decided he wanted to invite his sister over and how they cut my hair and he took her aside to say something and then she made me feel pretty by trying to teach me how to not make my eyeliner so severe. Afterwards she left for a bit and Moon Man decided to order pizza, which was weird for me seeing as he was a fanatic about fitness and though that could have been because of his bulimia he was always intent on never going near fast food and always eating healthy. I made the normal excuse that I was not hungry and had eaten with Jamie. It always worked anyway and he was too busy drowning in his own struggle to realise what I was doing, but he suddenly went strangely quiet and I still remember that day when we found ourselves side by side on the sofa while he tried to figure out why I was starving myself ("do you see something that asks you to starve yourself?" "Have you actually been eating anything at all?" "What are the first thoughts that come to your mind?" And the agonised "did I do this to you? How long has this been going on?" ) I have vague memory of the realisation that Jamie must have told his mother who asked him to confront me. It does hurt now realising that I was the only person who made Moon Man cry, much later apparently when he was on his own and thought I was asleep I overhead him being comforted by a friend while he seemed to either be snuffling or crying and now that really hurt me. However maybe it was a good thing because it changed things and was what made him really aware of everything I was doing so I didn't quite starve. Jamie started hating Moon Man. I never understood when that happened but it did. He started telling me things about him I already knew (he sleeps around/he does drugs/he doesn't care about anyone/he's too sarcastic/he's too skinny and the only muscle definition he has is because he has no body fat...) And I just laughed it off because I did not care as long as Jamie and Moon Man did NOT fight. Jamie showed me pictures or I think told me of instances before when Moon Man was just into fitness about how he had 'the perfect lean physique' and said that it had gotten to his head which was why he had turned out how he had. I do wonder if Jamie knew about the schizophrenia or if he even actually cared that sometimes Moon Man would go out of his way to try to adhere to what Jamie's mother seemed to expect of me, even when he was so sick he was close to passing out. I realise how much he wanted me to be happy now and maybe he felt Jamie would make me happy and he let that happen like he had refused to let me see so many people before Jamie. There was a dance and I was called upon as Jamie and I were the dream couple. And we were expected to attend and look gorgeous together. Everyone was going to dress up and wear strapless booby dresses and tuxedos. I owned no dress and eventually ended up telling Moon Man who, without a question looked through books and magazines and vanished inside his room far under the rest of the house and somehow managed to create a stunning black and green dress that I was overwhelmed by the beauty of. I still have it today and take it out on special occasions. I have pictures in it because everyone who saw me in it said I looked incredible. Moon Man just smiled amusedly and told me he just wanted me to go out with my head up and look beautiful. Jamie didn't like the dress. He saw it and decided he wanted a proper couture wearing partner. It broke my heart hearing him say that and yet I decided that I would skip the fancy occasion. I told Moon Man I had fallen sick and he accepted that despite saying he felt bad I was missing such an important moment for myself maybe because I looked so rattled. He let me hide in bed all day and I cried until my eyes hurt too much. For those people who know me, they probably know maths is far from my strength. Maybe I am very dumb but maths never fails to confuse me. In fact I only fully taught myself long division two summers ago because I had to tutor someone else about it. At some point it seemed my maths teacher started calling me out on how slow and simple and dumb I was. I didn't actually suspect anything at all and decided maybe I really was dumb and stupid and incapable..and now I realise how much she liked Jamie and it all lurches into perspective. If you know me maybe you know that I am scared senseless of being accused of lying? Everything I say and do I get paranoid that it will be seen as lies. That is because Jamie would accuse me of lying all the time though I was always honest, I am used to being told I am lying. In fact I will always read between the lines and worry that I am considered a liar. It puts me in the messiest, stickiest situation... Moon Man decided to kill himself and that left a pretty big hole in my existence. A hole that only grew bigger and bigger. And somehow that whole catalysed a lot of agony inflicted on me from Jamie. I expected support and maybe even love. I have more scars to my heart and soul and sanity that I feel anyone should have. So many painful memories and moments of fear and horror and of being in tears and crying helplessly but keeping up the 'perfect' pretence around everyone else. And often wishing I had been entirely honest with Moon Man and he had stopped me from whatever I had done that had ended up like this. Of course rumours about me had been spread through school and everyone was whispering about me all the time. It hurt to try to do much of anything and I swung along with it. I remember the way my friend Luke (no name change here as I can not bring myself to it, almost) mused aloud that I loved Jamie with so much purity and passion he was lucky for having me, and how I just smiled and laughed at him and told him Jamie was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I still remember the day it all ended. I remember how I stumbled away blinded by my own tears and tried to do stupid things to cope. I spent a very long time in bed. The only thought running through my head was Jamie's number. I was scared of phones, I was scared of doorbells, I was scared of people, I was scared of talking to anyone and I had lost myself completely. The friends I had tried to support me while I kept on falling apart. I have memories of a few ER trips and Luke's anxious face looking down at me in confusion... I share 2,608 words about Jamie after a rough start to the year but not because I want someone to call me attention seeking or because I need a lot of attention or sympathy. I do it because I want to warn people of what true love is not. True love does NOT hurt. It would never make you cry. It would never tear you to pieces, it would never chew your heart up and throw it aside. It would support and love you unconditionally. If it makes you feel uncomfortable it is NOT love. If it leaves bruises or scars then it can never be love. If it leaves you with severe anxiety and depression and body dysmorphic disorder please do not tell me it is love. Be free and refuse to let anyone tear you apart and open. No one should tell you what to do or how to be and if they do then they need to fuck a flaming cactus. Please love and love well, properly and in all the right and proper ways. Understand WHAT love really is and walk away from anything that hurts. It is never worth the pain because it is not meant to bruise and scar and burn you for life.