#he has direct proof that astarion is physically well!

[stainedglass-sketchbook]

This is so funny to me bc this is about my tav who is very much not the dark urge! just a bit of a freak

[death-munchkin]

I have come to the conclusion that there is a very very large overlap in the people who assume that Astarion is "secretly uncomfortable" with a polyam relationship with Halsin and people who a) have zero social awareness, or b) are polyphobic, or c) both. Astarion is not uncomfortable with polyamory, he is uncomfortable participating in sex. Those are two very different things. Astarion is insecure about his ability to be a 'fulfilling' partner to Tav due to his aversion to sex, and that is a perfectly natural fear almost everyone who's ever been repulsed by or reluctant to participate in sex can attest to. My fellow Ace and/or sex repulsed people you should know well how scary it can be to not feel sure that your partner is satisfied. Astarion at no point sounds sad about the proposal, with the exception when specifically asking if it's because he hasn't been putting out enough recently (Note, Astarion and Tav would not have had sex at this point for a wee while), and if Tav reassures him that he is special to them just the way he is, he is genuinely happy.

"But he doesn't enjoy having sex with the Drow twins." My dear sweet child, he explicitly says he's not ready for that yet. At no point does he pretend to be okay with it only to secretly not be. He clearly and firmly says he is not okay with it, and you only get the narration about him seeming empty if you pressure him into it. This does not happen with Halsin. I repeat. This does not happen with Halsin! Astarion never, I repeat NEVER says anything akin to "not being sure" or "I don't know", or "I'm not ready for this" in regards to Halsin's proposition, while he CLEARLY says that about the Drow twins.

Why, you may then ask, is he uncomfortable with the Drow twins but not Halsin? Well, for one, the Drow twins are sex workers. And while in this house we 100% respect love and support all sex workers, they were unfortunately likely targets during his thrall days, and they almost certainly open up some wounds he's not ready to explore yet. Secondly, with the Drow twins he is pressured to participate. Again, Astarion is uncomfortable participating in sex, not with polyamory as a whole. Astarion would be uncomfortable being pressured into basic vanilla christian one on one sex with Tav just as much as he would be uncomfortable being pressured into sex with the Drow twins. That has nothing to do with polyamory. He would not be and is not uncomfortable with Tav having sex with, kissing or flirting with Halsin, as long as he is at no point forced to or pressured to physically participate himself.

Consider why every other character who is against a relationship with Halsin explicitly says so (for those of you who compare Astarion to Karlach, Karlach does explicitly say she is against it.) Consider how every single time Astarion is against something, with the exception of some events in Act 1, he explicitly says so. Consider how Astarion literally does bring up something that concerns him in that very conversation, and clearly states his concerns regarding his own sexual availability, but at no point even hints at being uncomfortable with Tav's romantic/sexual interests. And perhaps consider why you are so intent on having characters be "secretly against polyamory".

Because I will die on the hill that Astarion is a sex repulsed polyam sexual (possibly mono-romantic) pan gremlin of a man. edit to clarify: This post is about people who are insistent on that assumption, as in, refuse to accept that they may be mistaken, or that their assumption is exactly that, an assumption with no direct proof to support it. I don't mind people who headcanon, you live your life I'll live mine, I mind people who assume he's secretly against it, and then state that as fact and canon when it simply isn't, it's a headcanon, an assumption, a plot you would like to believe, NOT something established by direct canon evidence. If you prefer to read him as uncomfortable, that's fine and none of my business. If you prefer to read him as secretly strictly monogamous and either too insecure to speak up or doesn't realize it himself, that's fine and none of my business. Hell, if you draw fanart about it and write a whole ass 100 million word fanfic creating a whole new alternate universe which becomes more popular than the game itself, it's still fine and none of my business. But the second you speak your opinion and assert that it's fact, I have just as much a right to speak my opinion and tell you you're wrong.