#he is simultaneously the world's most polite and demanding cat. and i would blow up the world for him

[goldiipond]

shadow is 11 years old and i still have to tuck him into my bed before leaving my room otherwise he will start wailing and shredding the doorframe like an angry toddler who is actually a middle-aged man

[pinkrabbitpro]

Title: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid Summary: Cat Grant gives birth link at AO3 or read it behind the cut below.

Outside the DEO, it’s a very unspectacular day. Pleasant weather, sun shining, nobody invading or blowing anything up, making it a pleasant change from the previous day. Which is a good thing because inside the DEO is a completely different story. All hell is breaking loose there as doctors and nurses rush from point to point, checking monitors and outputs and requesting drugs.

Mostly for themselves.

After all, they’re working mostly in the dark and more than a few shins have been busted.

“AIEEEEEFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!”

And then there’s the screaming, shrieking really, loud—the decibel level enough to make a few people wonder about ear drum damage—and very profane to the point that ‘fuck’ is actually one of the more polite words heard. The DEO is staffed by professionals, many of them former military, special forces, and law enforcement, people who historically know their way around salty language.

At least one is eventually reduced to tears by the sheer rawness of what’s shouted.

“Just breathe,” Kara Danvers says and quickly starts demonstrating the breathing learned in hours of classes only to pull to a strangled halt as a hand clamps down on hers with a strength that would have anyone else screaming in agony. Even she winces as the next round of screams breaks forth.

“WE ARE NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN!!!”

Cat Grant is having a baby. A hybrid. Kara’s child. And while she’s spent most of the pregnancy awash in hormones that have left her vacillating between horny-as-hell and kitteny-sweet, at that precise moment—not so much.

Actually, there are ravening beasts from the dankest pits of hell with more sweetness in them than Cat suffering through labor. She wants this baby. She loves this baby. And she really, really wants this baby out of her. Any delay in that process is not well received.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Kara whispers as she tenderly rubs Cat’s back. Super hearing lets her track the Cat’s and the baby’s heartbeats more efficiently than any of the monitors and she can hear them both, strong and steady.“You’re doing great.”

Standing next to the doctor in charge, Alex Danvers glances over at her sister as Cat responds. It’s not a pretty sight.

“I mean it!” Cat roars. ”You are never getting near me with your Kryptonian Vaginal Super Sperm™ ever again!”

Alex seriously considers fainting at that point. Seriously. Fainting. Dead. Away. Because this whole process has taught her far more about certain aspects of her sister’s private life than she ever wanted to know. Ever. Because she’s had to be intimately involved. She’s the one who figured out the mystery of Cat’s pregnancy when all hell was on the verge of breaking loose the first time because Kara panicked, thinking Cat had cheated and Cat panicked because she hadn’t.

Alex is the one who figured out that Kryptonian women don’t have ova—eggs—but rather cell clusters which, on Krypton met, mated and dated other cell clusters, on a very rare occasion during sex, but more often under the direction of a complicated computer system. Then after the mating and dating when they were all cuddled up and getting to know each other, the cell clusters worked together to build themselves a protective outer membrane, before settling down for some hardcore cellular division.

On Earth it went a little differently. The cell cluster encountered one of these newfangled Earth-type egg thingies, decided it quite liked this bit of innovation, moved in and one u-haul later, they were down to the serious business of babymaking.

Exactly how that meet and greet came about is one those things Alex sincerely wishes she didn’t know.

But she does since she’s the one tasked with tracking Cat’s pregnancy and setting the birth protocols. She been careful to consider what light does for Kara and what it might do for her baby when it’s being brought into the world by a very human female. Probably nothing will happen, but with a possible light powered, super baby on the way, and a very human, very slightly built mother pushing fifty, Alex has opted for caution. Which means the best doctors, as little light as possible and her presence in a situation where she really doesn’t want to know some things.

“Just keep breathing,” Kara soothes, still rubbing Cat’s back gently. “And I don’t have sperm,” she adds, her easy-going mien slipping just a little. “I have...whatever it’s called, but it’s not sperm.” Winn’s jokes have left her a little sensitive on that front.

“I’m pregnant, aren’t I?” Cat demands at ear-piercing decibels. “By that goddamned demon sex toy of yours.”

Alex moans, wavers on her feet, and adds the invention of brain bleach to her to-do list.

“I want that damned dildo from hell burned!” Cat shrieks. Her jaw clamps tight as she fights a scream and buries her face in Kara’s shoulder. “Can you even kill Kryptonian Super Sperm or is it as invulnerable as the rest of you?” she demands, her voice nowhere near muffled enough for the comfort of anyone in the room. Or any of the neighboring rooms either. “Is it still out there even now waiting to impregnate some innocent passer-by?”

“You were hardly innocent...or passing by,” Kara points out even as she snuggles Cat protectively close and looks toward her sister, her eyes showing her fear. Any jokes or sarcasm aside, Cat and this baby are everything to her.

“They’re okay,” Alex assures her. “Vitals are good, no distress.”

“The hell there’s no distress,” Cat growls.

“Shhhh, you’re safe,” Kara soothes, still rubbing and feeling hopelessly helpless since she can’t do anything else.

“I love you,” Cat mumbles into Kara’s shoulder when the latest contraction eases. She settles a hand on her belly, feeling the ripple of muscle and the shape of their baby. “I know I’m yelling and I’m sorry and I love you both so much.” She sniffs at a sudden flow of tears, her hormones all over the map.

“I know,” Kara soothes and feels Cat’s other hand clamp down again as a fresh wave of pain hits and she snarls a fresh profanity. “Just breathe through it,” she encourages, petting pale hair tenderly and demonstrating the breathing pattern again in effort to get her through it. “You can do this.”

“Fuuuuuck,” Cat exhales in time with Kara’s slow breathing exercises. “Which is something we will not be doing anymore!” She gasps sharply, then pushes into Kara’s hold, her voice dropping to a whimper as the pain abates a little. “Hurts.” “I know.” Kara presses a soft kiss to her love’s temple, then turns a look toward Alex that shows her fear.

“You’re doing great,” her sister assures them both. “We’re in the home stretch.”

“Do not use the word stretch around me!” Cat shouts, then cringes under the force of another wave. “And you,” she glares at Kara, “plan on lots of celibacy!”

“Okay,” Kara murmurs and cuddles her lover.

“I mean it!”

“I know,” Kara says mildly, though she’s sure Cat doesn’t really. She quickly goes back to encouraging Cat to do the breathing exercises.

It takes another hour, then Baby Zor-El-Danvers-Grant enters the world and immediately giggles happily, ready for a new adventure.

“She’s definitely yours,” Alex drawls as she grins at her sister. A few quick medical procedures and she’s handed over for the ceremonial counting of fingers and toes. All are present and quickly accounted for.

Cat’s almost too exhausted to complain that it’s not fair for her to see her last considering she did most of the work of bringing her into this world. Almost.

So finally a tiny, wriggling form is settled into Cat’s arms. She’s pink, with a bit of blonde hair and already staring at the world through amazingly focused blue eyes.

Cat falls in love instantly, possibly faster than instantly if such a thing is possible, and given this baby has two mommies, one of whom can fly, don’t rule it out. “She’s worth it,” she whispers very softly and doesn’t even complain when Alex turns on the same sun lamps Kara uses for healing, just slips on sunglasses and smiles at Kara. “So worth it.”

Baby names are still under discussion as Cat has allowed a Kryptonian name would be acceptable, while simultaneously nixing anything Astra related. Not due to any remaining anger over the occasional attempt to take over the world so much as an absolute rule that, “You will not name my child anything that begins with ass. She has to go to school one day and I won’t saddle her with any of the nicknames that will result.”

“She’s beautiful,” Kara whispers, settling into place behind Cat and wrapping her arms around both of them. It’s hard to tell who looks more tired, her or Cat. “She looks like you,” she murmurs as she kisses Cat’s hair.

“She looks like a baby,” Cat scoffs, though she leans in to peer more closely at her daughter. “The most perfect baby ever, I’ll grant. Well, girl baby. Carter was the most perfect boy baby.” She peers more closely. “And if she looks like anyone, it’s you.” She tips her head to one side, smiling as the baby does likewise, though she adds a giggle for good measure. “She giggles. I don’t giggle.”

“I can make you giggle,” Kara disagrees and leans in close to whisper in Cat’s ear.

She earns a glare and a quick slap on the hand for her temerity. “That’s how we got in this position in the first place,” she chastises, though she’s smiling and no slappage follows when Kara whispers a few suggestions in her ear.

Alex fights a wave of nausea. Apparently the no-sex-ever-again rule will not be holding. Pity. Super anti-nausea meds get added to the to-do list right after brain bleach. “I’ll...uh...go let everyone know we’ve got a new member of the family,” she quickly interrupts. “That’ll give you two a few minutes alone.” And her a chance to grab some Maalox. “Maybe more than a few depending on how hard it is to get J’onn out from under headphones.” Like her, he learned things he didn’t want to know. Unlike her, he had the option of hiding. She directs a meaningful look Kara’s way, then slips out.

Happy, comfortable, and heavily medicated, Cat sinks back into Kara’s arms, trusting the younger woman to keep her safe. “She’s amazing,” she mumbles sleepily, unable to take her eyes from the tiny figure cuddled in her arms.

“So are you,” Kara sighs and smiles down at the woman in her arms.

Dark blonde brows rise as Cat casts a doubtful look Kara’s way. “I made a grown Martian cry.”

“Did it make the pain more bearable?” Kara knows her too well.

“A little,” Cat admits with a smirk.

She earns a chuckle and a soft kiss, then Kara reaches into a pocket and retrieves a small box. Opened, it reveals a pair of rings, the bands cast in ornate gold twists unlike anything Cat has ever seen.

“I was going to do this sooner, but what with alien attacks and Clark going a little wacko and...well...you know what all happened.” She casts a tender gaze on their child. “Then pumpkin here decided to come early and...well...I wasn’t sure of your answer there for a little while.”

Cat just stares.

“On Krypton these would be bracelets, but I figured on Earth, rings would be more appropriate...”

Cat blinks, still staring.

“And the jeweler did a really beautiful job keeping the basic design, just smaller,” Kara continues increasingly slowly, Cat’s silence leaving her uncertain. “They’re wedding rings,” she feels the need to explain at last.

Cat manages a stiff nod. There are tears in her eyes and she has to swallow hard against the tightness in her throat to have any prayer of speaking.

Kara, meanwhile, is beginning to panic. She’d thought the answer was foregone, but suddenly she’s having doubts. “I...uh...it’s—”

“Yes,” Cat says before she can utter another syllable. She considers pointing out she has four unsuccessful marriages under her belt, is mercurial and rude on her best day, and has a temper that can literally make grown men cry, but one thing she not, is stupid. “God, yes.”

It takes a moment for the answer to sink in, but finally it does and Kara beams. They’re still kissing when Alex returns with her mother, Carter, and J’onn in tow.

Eliza is over the moon over her first grandchild even if she still looks a little askance where Cat is concerned.

Carter takes one look and a second Grant heart is captured, though he’s almost scared to touch for fear of damaging this tiny creature that is his new sister. He sits on the bed next to his mother and cautiously plays fingertag, smiling when she quickly catches on to the game.

J’onn frowns and hangs back. He is family for Alex and Kara, but he’s uncertain about his place in this story, and slightly afraid of this strange woman with whom Kara has chosen to share her life. He’s a creature of rigid control and absolute calm.

She is not.

So when she looks at him and clears her throat, he freezes, wondering what fresh hell may be coming.

“Sorry for...y’know...earlier,” she mumbles without specifying any more than that. Best some things never get repeated. “I don’t handle pain well.”

He nods stiffly.

“We’d like you to be her godfather,” Kara inserts into the moment, smiling at his surprise. “She couldn’t have better,” she adds.

He’s surprised when Cat nods her agreement. “Kara has told me how much you’ve helped her.” They share a look. “And we’d be grateful.” After all, given her parents, she’s likely to get in some trouble along the way.

He draws closer, studying mother and child. The baby in her arms is tinier than any Martian child, and even as a Kryptonian hybrid, likely weaker, but she is his family. On Mars, no adult would show a false face to a newborn of any import. Tradition holds that if a baby sees a true face, they will always know family no matter how they appear, so he shifts, no longer showing his borrowed human face. He suddenly understands his unofficial, almost-daughter’s love for this woman when she shows no surprise or revulsion and simply tips the baby in her arms his way with no shyness or uncertainty.

“This is your Uncle J’onn,” she tells the baby. “Which is apparently more complicated to spell than it sounds like, but that’s okay.” She shrugs. “Most people don’t understand apostrophes, and he’s otherwise a very good man.”

Kara grins broadly and adds. “And you can always trust him.”

He reaches out, and while the tiny hands that grab for his fingers in no way replace his lost children, some of the void that still remains is filled. Later, he will deny it, but his voice is thick and ragged when he simply says, “Thank you. She’ll always have my protection.”

Then Cat is tired and slightly rude as she shoos them out with the excuse the baby needs her rest. In reality, the baby is giggly and adores the crowd and it is her mamas who need the sleep.

Alex offers to dim the lights, but Cat waves her off. “You said it’s good for her,” she mumbles and pulls a sleep mask on, then snuggles into Kara’s protective arms. She’s asleep in moments.

Later there will be more visitors and well wishes and even a few presents. Winn brings a specially designed laptop marked, ‘Baby’s First Computer’ while James appears with book of hand designed coupons for photography lessons and help choosing a first camera. Vasquez’ gift is immediately confiscated and removed to a high security weapons locker. Olivia sends letters written with an eye to getting baby Zor-El-Danvers-Grant into the very best preschool, grade school, high school, and universities (undergraduate, post graduate, and doctoral), and an IOU for updated versions once she has a name. Clark sends a baby sized supersuit and a note complaining that they’re now available at Walmart and he gets no licensing fees. Lois sends birth control pills and note that simply says, ‘Haha’.

And Alastra Elmyra (though her family privately spells it El Mayarah) Hope Zor-El-Danvers-Grant (Danvers-Grant to non-family) gets two adoring parents and a family almost as extended as her name.

And they all live happily.

Well, until Zod shows up.