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14 years old, only like a month into being spider-man, peter takes down a mugger and the guy is cursing peter out and peter just calmly says "i'm fourteen" and watches this dude have a crisis
"no you're not"
"i literally am. did you not hear my voice cracking every two seconds? pretty sure i only started going through puberty last week"
"you're lying"
"believe what you want"
"why would you tell me that if it's true"
"because no one will believe you and i think that's funny. also i want you to know that you just lost to a freshman in high school. even if you don't believe me, you can't prove that i'm lying. this is never going to leave your brain. i won the physical fight and now i'm playing with psychological warfare. and i called the cops. anyways, bye!"
mugger gets arrested and is like "no seriously i swear to god he was in these like red and blue pajamas and had a mask and goggles and he said he was fourteen and psychological warfare and-"
#idk if anyone else will be entertained by this but mcu peter being a little shit means the world to me#i mean lets be clear every single version of peter parker is a little shit#but mcu peter is painted as this innocent little fuckhead by a lot of the mcu fandom which like. sure yeah its fan content have fun with it#but personally peter's sass and attitude and anger problems are some of my favorite aspects of his character#“if you think about it this is really your fault” bro said that to TONY STARK to his FACE#he only backpedaled because tony was visibly upset by those words but dude was fully about to commit to that angle#peter (blaming himself; drowning in guilt): ya actually i did nothing wrong im 16 and its all ur fault so maybe calm the fuck down thanks
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